by Rose Croft
It wasn’t hard to get the room number, and I took the elevator to the third floor. As I strode past the nurses’ station, passing a pack of doctors a few doors down was room 314. The door was partially open and I paused, peeking in, not wanting to cause a shit storm by surprising Theodora or her mother if she were even conscious. I saw Rhonda sleeping with IVs protruding from her arm. I pushed the door wider and stepped in to see Theodora curled up on the mini sofa by the window. Her palms rested under her cheek with eyes closed. Her hair was pulled back in a makeshift ponytail. She looked so small and vulnerable.
Not able to stop myself, I approached her. When I hovered close, I could clearly see by the late afternoon sunlight spilling in through the curtain, the faint stain of tears encircled on her cheeks and the redness of her nose. She’d probably been crying most of the day. When did all this happen? I reached down and lightly trailed my finger over her high cheekbone.
She stirred beneath me and her eyes fluttered open. Then recognition set in, and she shot up in a sitting position. “What are you doing here?” she asked quietly and cut a glance over at her mother.
“I was worried about you since I hadn’t heard from you all day.” I was initially pissed that she didn’t call and let me know, but I knew Theodora was probably too deep in her own head and frightened about the situation. “I forced Kenzie to tell me. How is she?”
Her eyes were puffy and red rimmed. “She’s stable now, but earlier had gone into cardiac arrest.” She looked like she was about to cry again. “Her neighbor stopped by this morning and saw the front door of Mom’s apartment open and she was on the floor mumbling incoherently and couldn’t move her body. Thank God she found her when she did.”
“Honey, you’ve been here all day.” A nurse in purple scrubs walked toward the bed, checking the monitor with a kind smile on her face. “Why don’t you get something to eat and go home and get some sleep? Your momma’s going to need a lot of rest, and will be asleep probably through the night. We’ll keep an eye on her. I promise.”
I clamped a hand on her shoulder. “She’s right. Let me take you to grab a bite to eat and get some rest. Okay?”
She peered at the nurse with uncertainty. “You’re sure?”
“If you stay, all you’ll be doing is the same thing you been doing all day—waiting and sleeping in an uncomfortable chair. Right now, we’re doing all we can, and you need to take care of yourself too. Get some rest and try to recharge and come back in the morning, okay? That’s the best advice I can give right now. We have your number and will call you if anything changes in the next few hours.”
Theodora nodded and moved over to the bed, laying her palm over her mother’s pale hand. She bent her head, her lips moved in silent prayer, and my world stopped seeing this touching moment. My family had never been touchy feely, with the exception of my mother, but Theodora had always had a caring heart.
I thought about the time when she was ten and I was thirteen and we were riding bikes down one of the county roads near my house and found a dead squirrel on the narrow, graveled shoulder. It was gruesome, and she jumped off her bike bawling her little eyes out begging me to help her give it a proper funeral. Not exactly thrilled to touch a dead undomesticated animal, I finally relented and told her I would because I couldn’t say no to her. Never could. So, I gathered up gloves, a shoebox, a shovel and found a spot in the backyard digging a plot for it. I even pieced together a makeshift cross out of some branches. She’d written a eulogy, and I was quite impressed with her words. Afterward, she said I was her hero and was relieved the squirrel would go to heaven.
I fought back a tender smile of the memory and continued to stare as she squeezed her mother’s hand and then raised her head. She eyed the nurse again. “You promise you’ll let me know if anything changes?”
“Cross my heart.” The kind lady signaled over her chest. “Go on, hon.” She glanced at me. “If this fine man was asking me to go grab a bite to eat, I wouldn’t hesitate.”
I flashed a smile at her and moved over to take Theodora’s hand. “Come on. Let’s get you fed.” She followed me as we said thanks to the nurse. As we reached the door, I heard a low whistle behind us, “If only I were twenty years younger.”
Theodora
“I didn’t know Mom had an addiction to prescription drugs,” I admitted as we left the roadside barbeque joint. Roman led me to his car, insisting I wasn’t in any state to drive and convinced me to leave my car at the hospital. He hadn’t pressed me for information and our conversation had been light. He deliberately was trying to get my mind off my mom.
We were sitting in his jeep, and he leaned one arm over the steering wheel, watching me. I stared down at my hands. “She was in a bad car accident about nine months ago and injured her back pretty bad. Severe enough where she had surgery and has never fully recovered ever since. She couldn’t work because she was in so much pain and could barely get around. Mom tried physical therapy, but from the medical bills piling up and her not having a job…she has no medical insurance. I guess taking pain meds helped her cope.”
“I thought you received a more than generous severance package from my father?” I couldn’t miss how he said the words sharply, demanding my attention and causing me to frown.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I tilted my head, clearly confused. My mother was let go from her job. She was compensated like any employee at a respected job, but the money ran out.
His eyes bore into mine before he shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter.” He started the ignition. “Where’s your mom’s place?”
I gave him directions, somewhat apprehensive to show him where we’d lived for the past few years. The apartments were old and in a rundown neighborhood. I hadn’t been here in over a month and was usually the one who cleaned and did upkeep since Mom was unable to do much. She’d assured me she’d be fine when I went off to college. Obviously, she wasn’t. Guilt flowed through me like a never-ending river. I should’ve known.
He pulled into the parking lot, while I directed him to the apartment on the very end. Our place was on the lower level, and he parked. It was dark by this time, which hid much of the building’s imperfections, but it wasn’t difficult to see the assortment of older cars and how dimly lit the outdoor area was. It was something I was used to and didn’t think much about until Roman was here. Now, I was hyperaware of everything and seeing this place through his eyes. He hadn’t said anything, and I could only imagine what his rich and privileged mind was thinking.
He shut off the engine and stepped out, stalking around the car to my side. I jumped out before he got to the door, feeling a sense of panic. I didn’t know what I’d see when I stepped into the apartment. “You don’t have to come in. I’m good.”
“If you think I’m leaving you here alone tonight, you’re fucking crazy. You need to take care of yourself, and I’m here to make sure you do.” He had his hand at my back, glancing around. It was clear he was the opposite of impressed with my humble abode.
I unlocked the worn door where the red paint was faded and chipped, pushing it open slowly. When I flipped on the light, I had to cover my mouth from gushing out in revulsion. The apartment was a mess. I stepped in farther and heard the door close behind me, but didn’t chance a glance at Roman.
I saw plastic wrappers on the ground that were remnants of medical items left over from when the EMT was here. The kitchen was a disaster splattered with soiled pots and pans, and plates were piled high in the sink. To my right on the old, rickety dining table, unopened mail stacked up like a game of Jenga, probably more bills than junk mail. My heart nose-dived down my stomach while my anxiety level rose. I rubbed my eyes, trying to erase this day and this scene.
“Where’s your room?” Roman asked quietly.
I wordlessly pointed to the small hallway to my left, while I let him lead me in that direction. When I opened my door and turned on the light, I wanted to sigh in reli
ef. My room wasn’t much, but it looked exactly as I left it. It was modest and my bed was made up and everything put away.
Roman stepped around me and pulled the comforter and sheet down. “Try to get some sleep. You’re exhausted.”
“I need to clean up the place.”
“Sleep,” he commanded, leading me down on the bed. “I’ll take care of it.”
I was too tired to argue and slipped off my flip-flops, climbing into bed. I wore leggings and an oversized tee and didn’t have the energy to change. I felt the bed dip as he sat down on the edge, while I rolled on my side, pulling the covers close. “What’s going to happen?”
He undid my hair as his fingers stroked softly through my strands, caressing me, making me feel comforted. “Nothing you need to worry about right now.” As he continued massaging my scalp, my tension faded, and I closed my eyes, giving into the exhaustion.
I woke up to rustling down the hall. Disoriented, I pushed myself up to a sitting position, briefly confused where I was. I saw the red digits flash to my right on my digital alarm clock, 12:15 a.m., and I took a calming breath remembering I was in my room. I’d only slept a few hours, while the events of yesterday came flooding back. My mom, her overdose, Roman. Roman was here. He’d said he’d take care of cleaning up the disaster in our run-down apartment. That was probably the movement and noise I heard.
Wide awake now, I slid my legs over the edge of the bed and stood up. When I stepped out in the tight hallway, I noticed light flashed under the closed door of my mom’s bedroom. My eyes narrowed as I crept closer. I heard the slam of a drawer, and I turned the handle, pushing in as unease pulsed through my stomach. Roman was leaned over, digging through my mother’s dresser.
“What are you doing?”
He paused and twisted his head behind him. His eyes were dark in the dim light and his face was as impassive as ever. Like it wasn’t unusual that he was caught rifling through my mother’s things. “You’re awake. Why?”
“Why are you going through my mother’s dresser?”
He carefully, meticulously pressed the drawer closed and turned to me. “When I was cleaning up the kitchen and living room, I found several empty bottles of oxycodone. I was concerned because I knew some friends who got hooked on this shit, and they always had a stash hidden somewhere. Then I found this.” He held out a copper bottle that rattled as he shook it. “In her drawer.”
“Oh my God.” I covered my mouth with my hands, fighting nausea and shock. Wondering how my mother could’ve had access to so much medication. Even if she recovered quickly in the hospital, she couldn’t come back here by herself. To suspect it was one thing, but then to actually hear how many bottles of pills were found was a major problem. She was a full-blown addict.
He covered the distance between us and wrapped a hand around my neck, strumming my skin. “She’s in the hospital now, she has care. We can talk to the doctor about this and go from there. I know where your mind is going, but you don’t have to carry this burden alone. I want you to know I will help you.”
“How?”
“Let me worry about that.” He kissed my forehead. Roman had been caring all evening. My doubts about him subsided. We walked into the living room/kitchen area, and he strode over to the sink and ran the water, dumping the pills down the drain.
My mind still wanted to obsess over my mom’s problem, but then I actually looked around aware of the difference of the place; my jaw fell open. The apartment was spotless. “Wow. It looks a lot better.” Passing through the small kitchen, all the counters were clear and everything put away. “Thank you.”
“No big deal.”
“It is a big deal. You didn’t have to do this.”
He dried his hands off as he spoke. “You would be surprised what I would do for you.” He crowded my space, lifting me up on the counter and locking me between his arms. I didn’t know why I believed him. I didn’t know why I felt so secure with him. I should’ve been skeptical considering all that had happened recently, but there were several years of history between us, good and bad, and Roman had always been kind, thoughtful—protective of me.
His face was inches from mine, his eyes always seemed to be able to pierce me and see straight to my soul. Without a thought, I nuzzled into his neck, inhaling his spicy, woodsy cologne mixed with his pure male scent that drove my senses crazy. “You don’t have to help. I’ll manage.”
Roman ran his hands up my back, pulling me against him. “Don’t be foolish. What will you do? Drop out of school? Take on three jobs? Live out of your car? You think I missed the stack of overdue bills? I have the means to help, and I won’t let you ruin your opportunities.” I should’ve been offended by how he presumed I couldn’t take care of this situation. However, I didn’t think he meant to be condescending. His hand curled under my chin, forcing my eyes to his. “Let me help you. Just trust me.” He seemed so sincere and before I could respond, he captured my lips. Trust me. The words reverberated through my head. I wanted to. I wanted to, more than anything. His lips roved over mine in sweet seduction while I drowned against him.
He cocooned me in his arms lifting me against him, never breaking the kiss. It seemed we were always one, and I wrapped my hands around his neck seeking his warmth and comfort he gave. I needed him. “Roman, I need you.”
“I know.”
His kiss deepened with frenzied movements, crushing his mouth against mine as he bruised my lips with his and I wanted everything from him. I needed the pain; I needed his desperation because I felt it too. It was crazy how this man who’d trampled back into my life and could possibly ruin me was the one I frantically craved. A faint thought in the back of my mind wanted to pull me aside and warn me to be cautious, but I knew myself too well. Roman was the one person in this world who could break me, and yet, I was willing to take that chance again.
Roman
She was both sunshine and rain. A beautiful promise that could lift me up and experience heaven. In these moments, I disregarded the past, I even let go of what she and her mother had done to me three years ago, although my motives weren’t completely pure earlier. I wanted to find out whatever shit my father so desperately needed and move on with my life. I owed him, but this was the last fucking time I’d be under his hold. My life was about to be different if I stayed focused on the prize, but now I knew I wasn’t close to giving her up.
I didn’t care about my father at the moment. I didn’t give two fucks about anything but this moment. Theodora was a borderline obsession, and I wasn’t too ashamed to admit it to myself. But she was vulnerable right now, and I wasn’t a complete selfish asshole. I cupped her face between my hands. “I don’t want to take advantage of you.”
She scoffed and covered my hands. “Maybe I’m taking advantage of you.” She curled her lips in a faux smug look, but her normally translucent green eyes were a few shades darker. She wanted me.
“I’d like to see you try,” I teased and bit her plump bottom lip already bee-stung from our kisses. Lifting her up, she wrapped her legs around my waist as I carried her through the small hallway to her room. I knew she was self-conscious about the apartment. It wasn’t much, that’s for sure, but her room was nice, cozy, and had her touch.
I set her down, and she grabbed the hem of her tee lifting it above her head revealing her braless, perky tits with pink nipples hardened and pointed at me. Begging to be touched. I reached out and flicked one between my fingers. “Do you remember our first kiss?” Her lips were parted slightly as her eyes darted down at my hand.
“Yes.” She sighed.
“You put your hand on my heart. Like this.” I splayed my hand over her left breast. Her breathing stilled as she watched.
“I know.”
“Do you remember what you said?”
She nodded slowly. “I said you were my heart.”
“Did you mean it?” I whispered the words against her mouth as my hand dug into her skin wanting to feel the beating of her heart. H
oping it only thumped erratically for me.
“Yes.” She slipped her hands under my shirt trailing a palm up my chest covering my heart. “I meant it.” She pressed her lips into mine, taking over the kiss. I groaned and reached behind me pulling off my T-shirt wanting to feel the heat and her smooth skin on mine.
“Do you remember the first time I made you come?” I ran my hands down her side reaching her leggings and dragging down her clothing leaving her naked and exposed. A beautiful sacrifice I was going to indulge in the fullest and then take more. I dabbled my hand up her sleek skin and draped my fingers over her mound in possession.
“Mm-hmm,” she moaned as she pressed into me.
“Tell me,” I urged, wanting her to recall every moment, desperate to hear it from her lips.
“I slipped into your room one night because I couldn’t sleep.” She licked her lips and closed her eyes.
“Why couldn’t you sleep, Theodora?”
“I was afraid. The nightmares came back from that night…You pulled me in your arms and said you would chase them away. Always watch over me.” She nuzzled my neck as her nails scraped down my abs to the waistband of my shorts. “Then you kissed me and said you wanted to make me forget.”
I moved my fingers up and down her clit, spreading her with wetness. She panted erratically against my skin. “How? How did I make you forget?” I circled her entrance that soaked my fingers. “Like this?” I thrust inside her, moving slow and deep.
“Yes. Just like that.” Her voice was shaky, and she worked my shorts and boxer briefs down my hips. Her palm cupped the base of my cock while I stifled a moan. She bumped against me, writhing as I felt her climax building. Her palm slid up my erection to the tip back and forth. “I remember all of our firsts.” She gasped and began stroking my cock furiously.