by Rose Croft
“The car accident,” I said quietly. I knew that was the cause of her paralysis, but I never knew the details. Nobody ever talked about it.
“If that’s what you want to call it.” His mouth twisted wryly. “She was run off the road by a car driving in the wrong direction. Whether it was deliberate or a drunk driver…” He shook his head. “We’ll never know. However, I wanted retribution for what happened, but Mom would always quote that line and reiterate how one should not repay evil for evil.”
“Then whoever said it to me was using it out of context.”
He turned and studied me. “Maybe. Depending on how you interpret it. Some take it as vengeance, some as vindication. Mamá always said everything was in the Lord’s hands, not ours.”
His reference to his mom as “Mamá” tugged at me. Deep down I knew Roman would never hurt me. My heart was unwillingly softening. He sounded like a little boy who loved and needed his mother. I wished I knew more about that little boy. I wished I knew more about the relationship between him and his mom. We never really spoke about it. From what I remember about her, she was always nice and had a gentle smile whenever I saw her. However, most of the time she spent hours in her room. Sometimes, I’d see her outside sitting around the garden.
“Tell me about your mom.” I was curious. Anytime I saw Roman around her, he was very caring and seemed to spend the most time with her compared to the rest of his family. “She was always kind to me.”
“She was, still is.” He coughed and corrected the tense. “A beautiful, kind soul. She was a dreamer who made me believe anything was possible. She was the sunlight that overcame the darkness. She deserved so much more than how she ended up.” He stared off in the distance. “So much more than this life, but you’d never know it according to her because she never complained about her situation. Just took it and moved on as though it were a fact of life.”
I nodded, not knowing what to say. The words “I’m sorry” sounded trivial and Roman was never one to want sympathy. He was a proud man even when we were younger. Even through his acts of kindness with me, there was always a strong resolve in him and I’d never seen him drop that facade or show his emotions. “Does she still like to take coffee and watch the sunrise?”
“Yes.” His mouth ticked up as he watched me in awe. “She does. As far back as I can remember, Mamá loved to get up early and watch the sun come up. It was her favorite part of the day because she saw it as a blank canvas to make your mark in the world and do something profound. She always told me to follow my dreams. Create a new masterpiece.”
Like in football, I thought.
Like in football, he silently agreed.
Crickets chirped as we sat motionlessly without words. There were more questions I had, but I checked the time on my phone knowing I would only get a few hours of sleep if I pursued them. I finally spoke. “I need to go.” I started to stand, and he laid a hand on my arm.
“Come back with me.”
“No.” I looked at him like he was crazy. Just because he had a legit reason not to be my killer, didn’t mean I completely trusted him again.
“Why not?”
“It’s late and I have a lot I need to process.”
“Like what?”
He was acting like everything was hunky-dory, but still hadn’t mentioned or tried to explain my suspicions of his true motives for being in my mother’s room. Maybe I was the one being paranoid. “You said you were going to give me the truth. What were you really searching for in Mom’s room that night? Don’t tell me it was because you were only concerned she was an addict.”
He tilted his head with eyes narrowed. “Are you calling me a liar?” His stance was challenging, throwing it right back at me. “Why did you lie to the police about us? Why did you say I took advantage of you?”
“I didn’t. Someone sent my mother pictures of us together and being so distraught she contacted the authorities. She was the one who accused you of taking advantage of me. I couldn’t deny the photos. They asked me if we had sex and I was coerced into an answer, but I said it was mutual consent. I tried to talk to you, explain, but you wouldn’t answer my calls.” I kept my lip from quivering remembering how he ignored me. How I tried to see him personally, but his father stopped me and led me to his office to talk. He’d seemed so concerned about me initially. I should’ve known better.
“Because you used it as blackmail,” he cut in before I could say anymore.
“What are you talking about?” That was the second time he’d alluded to me blackmailing him. “I would’ve never done that to you. I was scared and devastated when my mom found out. I begged her to let it go. Tried to make her understand how much I…” Loved you. The words wouldn’t come out.
“How much you what?” he pressed.
“How much we cared for each other,” I said lamely. The smell of mahogany and the image of Roman’s father floated up like a bad apparition. Roman would never choose you and now you’re trying to ruin his life. My shoulders sagged staring at the ground. “Finally, Mom came around and told me she would handle this. She had a change of heart.”
“It was resolved because she used it as leverage to get a generous settlement.”
My head popped up in shock. “No. That’s not true. When she left, she was given a severance package.”
Anger flashed in his eyes. “It is the damn truth, Theodora.” He exhaled sharply. “Quit fucking lying about it. Would you like to see the contract my father made her sign? You don’t think Robert Martinez would simply take her word at face value. If anything, he covers his tracks. Your mother handled it by agreeing to drop this if Pop paid her.”
I stared in shock. Why? I shook my head. “She wouldn’t.” I stood up. “She wouldn’t do that.”
He rose up too and got in my face. “She did. You did.” He ran his hands up my arms none-too-gently until one palm curled around my throat. He leaned in so close our noses touched and his lips ghosted mine. “I hated her. I hated you for what you did.” His thumb pressed into my pulse. “I never wanted to see you again because I knew if I did…” His fingers dug into my scalp yanking my head to the side. “I would hurt you. Make you pay.” His mouth ghosted over mine. “Even knowing what happened, I still wanted you. And, since I had you, have you now, I’ll never let you go.” He bit down on my lower lip, and I cried out in shock trying to pull away from him, however his mouth covered mine muffling the sounds.
I dug my fingers into his rock-hard chest trying to shove him away but he wouldn’t budge as he assaulted my mouth. His kiss was brutal, and I thought I was going to suffocate. I bit down on the tip of his tongue raking through my lips, the metallic taste of blood filled my mouth. He paused and let up. “You’re trying to punish me for sins you think I committed,” I gasped out trying to catch my breath.
He relinquished the grip around my neck. His fingers trailed down my collarbone. “Whatever sins you committed, Corazón, I’ve already absolved,” he acknowledged lowly, and his eyes were as black as the night sky. “Deep down you know, you know despite what your incessant thoughts keep warning you against. You want me. You can deny it all you want, but when I touch you—” His index finger trailed up and down over the cleft between my breasts, and I licked my bottom lip. “Your body doesn’t lie, Theodora. This.” He pressed his hand over my heart. “This beats for me only. And if you push me too far, I will strip you down and fucking prove it. Is that what you want? Because I have no fucking boundaries when it comes to you.”
I felt the tenseness of his muscles against my palm. The barely leashed restraint he was holding on to. His chest rose and fell in double time with mine. He was about to lose his control, and there was a part of me that wanted him too. To push him to his limits knowing I was just as deranged as he. Knowing I wasn’t completely convinced he wasn’t trying to dig up dirt on my mother. Knowing he still thought we’d screwed over his family. Yet, still, I wanted him. I was the sad, pathetic girl who’d always loved him. The one wi
th the idealistic view that he was my dragon slayer, and I was his princess in this fucked up fairy tale.
I could rationalize everything to death, but the fact of the matter was I needed him. I’d hurt him, and he’d hurt me. I curled my fingers into his pecs, my nails dug into his skin. Hoping to leave my mark like he did on me. Our connection was one that was familiar, complicated, and primal. There were several other adjectives to describe it as well, but one word fought against another when trying to characterize what we were. Because it wasn’t that simple. Nothing was black and white with us. His obsession with me was my swan song. His control was my freedom. I was irrational when it came to him, but somehow it made me more sane. There was no rhyme or reason to my thoughts, but at this point, I didn’t care. I lifted up on my toes and my lips touched his stubbly chin. “Don’t make threats you can’t keep.”
He clenched his hands around my hips bringing us as close together as humanly possible. His very pronounced erection jabbed at my lower abdomen. “I never make idle threats. Te joderé tanto hasta que no puedas caminar por un tiempo,” he growled and kissed me like I was the air he needed to breathe.
“What did you say?” Again, I was left breathless from his kiss.
His smile flashed wickedly under the dim lighting. “I will fuck you so hard until you can’t walk for a while.”
“Oh—” He jerked me up in his arms and walked us to the parking lot where his jeep was parked before I had a chance to process. Did it matter? Roman had a way with words and his mouth was made for more than dirty talk.
Theodora
I woke up to sunlight streaming in my face. I stretched out my arm beside me expecting to feel Roman’s hard body, but all I felt were wrinkled sheets. He was gone, and I was lying naked in his room after staying up most of the night making love and him proving how very sore he would make me. My thighs tingled with thoughts of what we did. If anything, Roman delivered on his threats.
Reluctantly, I pushed myself up, hoping it wasn’t too late. It was Friday, and I hoped I didn’t miss my Sociology class. Surely, Roman would’ve awoken me to get ready. He knew how much of a punctual person I was. Just one more minute, I thought and lay back down. I twisted my head and inhaled into the pillow relishing in his musky scent that would always be engraved in me. Sighing, I forced myself up, and found my clothing had been folded neatly on the black leather lounger. I checked my phone and saw it was a little after seven a.m. Good. Plenty of time to get ready.
I dressed and slipped out the door hoping Roman was in the kitchen making coffee at least. The house was quiet, and I assumed everyone else was still asleep. As I rounded the corner, I heard his baritone voice as he spoke quietly. “I told you, Father, I’d take care of it.” His back was to me as he stood by the bay window in the nook area gazing out at the pool.
My steps faltered as I felt like I was eavesdropping. Why I didn’t want to alert him to my presence I didn’t know, but something told me to tread lightly. “Yes. Her mother is squared away in a rehab facility. I took care of it.” I tensed as his words came out emotionlessly. All my reservations and suspicions were facing me again. “I told you I searched her room and found nothing. What is it exactly that I’m looking for?”
Deep down I knew he had an ulterior motive.
However, I let it go because I wanted to believe him.
He lied to me.
He fucking lied to me.
Roman was lying to me.
I clamped a fist over my mouth pressing so hard to not make a sound as I stared in shock. The image of him blurred as I fought to keep from crying. Why? Why was he doing this?
“Don’t threaten me. You will get what you want. She’s dependent on me, and I will have answers soon.” He paused and slammed his palm against the window trim. My heart toppled out of my chest as an odd coldness enveloped me. He growled, “I told you it’s my problem. Don’t you dare fuck up what I’ve built with her!” He clicked off the cell, and I had the mad urge to either attack him or run like a trapped animal.
I took a step back, while Roman twisted his head at the sound. His cheeks were flushed and brows v’eed menacingly. When it registered it was me, his eyes widened in surprise. For a pregnant pause there was silence as we stared in a stand-off.
“You lied to me,” I said quietly.
He rolled his lips together. “You were eavesdropping.”
“You lied to me,” I stressed disgust was written all over my face.
“You don’t understand,” he responded with a level voice and took a few steps toward me.
I shook my head. Numb. I felt numb and betrayed…and stupid. I was the biggest fool to ever think I could trust him. Even when I knew something didn’t seem right, I’d given him the benefit of the doubt. “I may be an idiot, but I think I’m finally catching on.”
“It’s not what it seems.”
“It never is, is it? Nothing is ever as it seems according to you. What is it then? What is it you want?” Strumming up a sense of bravery I didn’t really have, but I was fueled by adrenaline and betrayal. I sauntered up to him raising my lips in a fake smile. When I was inches away from him, I lightly touched his cheek. The stubble scraped against the pad of my fingers. His eyes, his beautiful, lying caramel eyes broke me into a million pieces. “Hmm? Do you want me? Do you want to fuck me?” I grabbed the hem of my shirt and raised it over my chest.
“Don’t, Theodora,” he warned extending a hand to stop me from taking it off.
But I danced out of his reach, pulling the fabric over my head, and dropped the shirt as it flittered to the floor. I stood topless, seething inside. Too angry to care if anyone else was around at the moment. “What is it you want?” I prodded. This time when I closed in, I allowed my hands to travel down his naked chest feeling his muscles twitch until I reached the hem of his athletic shorts. “Do you want me to get on my knees and take your cock in my mouth, so you can fuck all your revenge out? Would that make you feel better?” I raised my eyes innocently at him holding his gaze while I slowly, purposefully slid down to my knees. “You want to put me in my place? The poor hired help who needed the strong rich boy to protect me? You thrive on power and control. Is that what you want?”
Seconds ticked by as he peered down and mouthed out, “No.”
I ignored him seeing how was cock tented in his shorts. My fingers skimmed up his muscular thigh, and I peered at him innocently.
“Get up,” he whispered, and I felt his muscles tense beneath my touch. His grip tightened around my shoulders.
But I didn’t. Instead, my fingers trailed over the outline of his erection. “You really don’t mean that. You’re already so hard. So ready. I know you have needs you can’t control. I can feel you pulse beneath my fingers. I know what you need. Isn’t this want you want, Corazón? Is this what you need from me?” I leaned in and lapped the underside of his cock leaving a wet trail on the material. “You like to impose your will on me? You like the fact I’m so dependent on you, right? I’m just a poor girl who needs her knight in shining armor to save her. You want to own me, don’t you? Well, I’m here. I’m here to service you.” I closed my mouth over the tip protruding through the mesh fabric. “Use me and if you’re a good boy, if you fuck me so well, maybe you can get whatever information you think my mother has.”
“Goddammit stop!” He clenched my upper arms yanking me up against him. “You don’t even know what you’re talking about.” He ran his lips over my temple. “I don’t want to hurt you. I only want to protect you.” He held me to his chest. “Just fucking trust me.”
When I heard his words, something in me set off and I began to pound my fists against him. “Stop saying those words to me, Roman. You’re a liar. Your words mean nothing. They’re just words you throw out to get me in your bed. That’s all I am to you. Someone to use.”
“I’m trying to protect you from my father,” he hissed clamping my fists in his large hand.
“No you’re not.” I struggled against him, and
hot tears burned down my cheeks. “My mother was right. Your family is trying to destroy us.” I kicked at him with wild abandonment, fighting like a caged tiger. He could’ve obliterated me, but I was so blinded by anger to care. I kept attacking until he cursed and released me. I fell back rubbing at my wrists, exhaling like I’d run a marathon.
“What are you talking about?”
I bent down retrieving my shirt and yanking it on. “Stop with the fucking act!” The words reverberated around us, and I brushed ruffled strands of hair off my face. “It doesn’t matter.” I backed away from him. “Nothing matters anymore. Leave me alone, Roman.”
I took off rushing past him to the foyer. He barked out my name, and I knew he was following me. Of course, he could stop me. He was bigger, faster, and stronger. You can run, Theodora, but I’ll always catch you. Before I reached the front door, it opened and Dmitri walked in shirtless with ear buds on and sweat dripping down his chest. I pulled up as he shifted his eyes in interest between Roman and me who I assumed was not too far behind. He tilted his head with a speculative look aimed at me, pulling out one of his ear buds. “Is everything good?”
Anyone could see it wasn’t. “Yes,” I answered calmly and glanced over my shoulder at Roman whose lips were crushed in a flat line and eyes slit at his Russian friend.
“The fuck’s going on?” Axle yawned as he stepped into the living room. “All this yelling woke my ass up.”
“Everything is fine,” Roman said tightly.
“I need a ride back to my dorm. I have to get ready for class,” I raised my eyes to Dmitri in a silent plea to offer me one. He parted his mouth as though he were about to speak.
“I’ll take you home,” Roman interjected with a barely leashed calmness. I didn’t want to be around him. This was the last time I would allow him to lie to me. But, they were his friends and as loyal to each other as they could be. Or at least they seemed to be. I guess Dmitri could see the hesitation in my face because he raised an eyebrow at Roman with mild interest.