by Eve Gaddy
Eyes closed, she whimpered, a sound that froze his blood. “Open your eyes, Lana,” he rasped. Her eyes opened and she stared at him.
He tried. Dammit, he tried with everything he had, but there was no possible way he could stop. The instant her soft, warm flesh gripped him, he’d been lost. But still, he tried again, pulling back from her with a groan but unable to leave her entirely.
“Don’t stop. I—want you,” she said, her arms encircling him, pulling him closer, tightening her feminine muscles until he thought he’d explode right then.
He thrust against her once, twice and came.
He pulled out the minute he could, held her and stroked a hand over her hair. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I tried to stop but—”
“Gabe, it’s all right. Don’t…don’t say you’re sorry. Please. I wanted you to make love to me.”
“No, you didn’t.” And it was anything but all right.
She kissed him. “I’m glad we made love, Gabe. I needed to.”
He searched her eyes, still unsure he’d done the right thing. But it was over now and he couldn’t change it. So he held her close, kissed her, tried to sleep. But sleep didn’t come easily. The ache in his leg and the ache in his heart made it almost impossible. Finally he admitted defeat and got up to take a pain pill.
“I MADE COFFEE,” Gabe said the next morning when Lana came into the kitchen.
“Thanks.” She got a cup and sat across from him at the table. “How long have you been up?”
“A while.”
“Your leg’s hurting, isn’t it?” She could see the lines around his mouth. “I shouldn’t have—I should have let you go to sleep last night.” But she’d been focused on her own pain, not his.
He reached for her hand and squeezed it. “I’m fine, Lana. I took a pill last night. I’m better this morning.”
She didn’t think he was, but she knew he would never admit it. The man was too stubborn.
“I need to go to the boat,” he said after she’d opened the newspaper. “We’re closing Tuesday and I want to make sure I’ve taken everything out.”
“Do you want some company?”
He laughed without humor. “Trust me, you don’t want to be around me today. Will you be all right alone? Why don’t I ask Cat or Gail to come over? I’m sure they’d be happy to.”
“You don’t have to baby me, Gabe. I’ll be fine.” She wished he’d let her go with him. Let her comfort him, just as he had her the night before. “Maybe you should get Cam to help you,” she said, worried he’d overdo it and cause even more pain to his leg.
“I’ll be all right,” he said. He framed her face in his hands, looking deeply into her eyes. “I love you, Lana.” He kissed her and she clung to him a long moment. He pulled back and looked at her carefully. “Are you sure you’re okay alone?”
“Yes. But don’t you overdo it.” She doubted he’d listen to her, but she had no choice but to watch him go.
LANA DIDN’T go to work Monday. She knew it was cowardly but she just couldn’t face the firestorm of talk she knew the incident with Winters had caused. If she could avoid seeing anyone for another day, the fervor might die down at least a little.
Her doorbell rang around lunch time and her heart leaped, thinking it was Gabe. But when she answered the door she saw Maggie on her doorstep.
“Hi, come on in.”
“Thanks,” Maggie said, walking inside. She wore her uniform and held her hat in her hand. “Were you expecting someone?”
“Not really.” She shut the door behind Maggie and they walked into the living room. “Why do you ask?”
Maggie studied her a moment. “You looked disappointed when you saw me.”
“I’m sorry. I thought you were Gabe,” she confessed.
Maggie looked down at her hat, then up at Lana. “I wish he was here. Do you want to call him?”
“Maggie, what is it?” She gestured at the couch. “Just sit down and tell me.”
Maggie sat. “Are you sure you can’t call Gabe?”
“He’s with his physical therapist. I doubt it’s a good meeting. I’m still afraid that fall the other night did more damage than they believed.”
“I hope not,” Maggie said.
“Me, too. Tell me what’s going on.”
“There’s good news and bad news. I talked to the D.A. and gave him the information. After reviewing everything, he said he wouldn’t pursue the case. In fact, he said it would be a waste of his time and the taxpayers’ money, just as I suspected he would.”
“I won’t be charged? I won’t have to go to court?” Relief swept through her.
“Not criminal court.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Winters is furious that the D.A. threw out the charges. He says he’s taking the case to civil court. He’s almost certainly going to sue you, Lana. At least to recover the medical expenses, if not more.”
Sue her? Civil court? How bad could that be? She had no idea, but at least it wouldn’t be a criminal case. “You think he’ll really do it?”
“I wouldn’t be surprised. He’s pissed about the way things turned out. Have you talked to a lawyer?”
“Yes. I touched base with Ramona Simon and told her I might be needing her help. She said to just give her a call when and if I needed her.”
“That’s good. Ramona’s one of the best.”
“Thanks for giving me her name.” Lana felt as if none of this was real. What would she do if she had to go to court? Could she do it again? After her rapist had gone free she’d hoped never to set foot in a courtroom again.
She rubbed her temples. “Have you charged Winters for what he did to Gabe? As I said, we’re not sure how much progress he lost because of that fall.”
“I’ve charged him with harassment and public drunkeness. All Gabe has to do is show up in court. But that won’t amount to much, I’m afraid.”
Maggie studied her again. “So, how are you? The truth,” she said before Lana answered.
“I’m…all right,” Lana said, surprised to realize it was true. “I talked to Gabe Saturday night when we got home. He’d figured out what had happened to me but I’d never discussed it with him. I told him the whole story.”
“Good.”
“I’m not so sure about that.”
Maggie looked concerned. “Why? What did Gabe say? Did he do something to upset you? I can see how much he cares about you.”
“Oh, he was wonderful. Understanding. Compassionate. But—” She bit her lip, then shook her head. “Dammit, it’s just not the kind of story you want to tell the man you’re in love with.”
“So you are in love with him. I wondered.”
“I haven’t wanted to admit it, even to myself. I was afraid of how he’d react when I told him about my past. Last time—” Lana stopped speaking.
Maggie cocked her head and considered Lana. “Was there someone else? Someone who didn’t react the way you needed him to?”
Lana suspected there wasn’t much that could shock Maggie—she was a cop. She took a deep breath. “My ex-husband couldn’t deal with the rape. It broke up our marriage. He had an affair after I was raped, but the marriage was already over. The affair was just the death knell.”
Maggie stared at her for a minute and then said something rude and crude that perfectly summed up Lana’s feelings about her ex. She couldn’t help laughing. “I knew I liked you.”
Maggie grinned, then sobered. “You trusted Gabe enough to talk to him. That’s good. Women need to talk about these things.”
“You understand a lot. Is it because you’re a cop or have you—” She stopped herself. “I’m sorry, I have no right to ask you such a personal question.”
“Sure you do. We’re friends, aren’t we?”
“Yes.”
“I haven’t been raped, but when I was on the force in Dallas I was called to some rape crime scenes. One woman—” Looking at Lana, she hesitated, then shook her head and s
aid, “She didn’t survive. After that, I helped with self-defense classes.”
Lana nodded. “I took my first course not too long after the attack. It was brutal, but it worked. I’m not the same woman I was before, in a lot of ways. Knowing self-defense had given me a sense of control.”
“I have a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, so I know how you feel. We offer self-defense classes here, too, but we don’t get many takers. I’m glad to say we don’t have much violent crime in Aransas City.”
“That’s reassuring.”
“Yes. Regardless of what happened last night, Aransas City is normally peaceful.” She looked at her watch. “I have to get back to work in a minute. How is Gabe? He looked pretty battered Saturday night. I heard you made him go to the hospital. Good thing, if you ask me.”
“His doctor says he’s all right.”
“But you don’t think so,” Maggie said. “Otherwise you wouldn’t look so worried.”
Lana shook her head. “No, I don’t. I think he’s anything but all right.”
“Because of his leg? Or because of the boat?”
“Both. The boat sale goes through tomorrow. He went yesterday to make sure he’d taken everything out, and he wouldn’t let anyone go with him. Not me, not Cam. No one.”
“Maybe it was something he felt he had to do alone.”
“That’s what he said.”
Maggie hesitated a moment, then said, “Lana, I don’t want to be pushy but have you thought about seeing a counselor? Or joining a survivors group? I know there’s a group that meets in Corpus. I could get the address for you.”
“I had counseling in L.A., right after it happened.” Her eyes met Maggie’s and she gave her a wry smile. “That affair I mentioned my husband had? His counselor was the other woman. I had a hard time talking to my own counselor after that.”
Maggie winced. “What a bitch. Guess that would be enough to turn you off of counseling for life.”
“You’re not kidding. And I went to a couple of group meetings, but they just weren’t for me. Don’t worry, Maggie. Last night aside, I’m doing okay.”
“All right. But let me know if I can do anything to help.”
LANA WENT BACK to work Tuesday morning with a heavy heart. Gabe had stayed with her every night since the incident in the parking lot. The night before, they’d made love. Awkwardly. She’d tensed, just for a moment, but it was enough. She and Gabe had even talked about it. Gabe had told her not to worry, that it wasn’t surprising she’d be having a hard time after what had happened. He’d said he loved her and they would work it out.
Lana wondered if they really could. She hadn’t dealt with her past. Not only had she broken a man’s nose when he’d done nothing more than annoy her, but she wasn’t doing very well with Gabe, either. How long would he want to try to make love to a woman who froze when he touched her?
She had told Gabe that the D.A. had declined to take the case to court, but she hadn’t told him about Maggie’s warning that Winters might file a civil suit. There’d be time enough to tell him if it actually happened. No sense in worrying him prematurely. She’d called Ramona Simon again, and the lawyer had agreed to represent her if she was needed. All Lana wanted to do now was to forget the whole thing, but that seemed impossible.
Her mood wasn’t improved by the fact that everyone she saw, including her partners and office staff, had heard some version of the incident in the parking lot and most of them were wrong. The gossip hadn’t died down, if anything it had spread like wild-fire. Jay and Tim had heard the basic story from Maggie, though of course, they didn’t know about Lana’s past. And after they made sure she was all right, they didn’t ask any more questions. She wished she could say the same for the rest of Aransas City.
She came perilously close to snapping at one of her patients when the woman conducted a ten-minute inquisition followed by a commentary about how violence never solved anything. After that, Lana decided to call it a day.
Walking into Jay’s office she said, “Would you mind covering for me for the rest of the day? I nearly brained Mrs. Berber a few minutes ago. If one more person asks me about Saturday night, I probably will brain him or her.”
“Sure,” he said, giving her a sympathetic smile. “That’s one of the drawbacks to living in a small town. Nothing much happens so when something out of the ordinary does, the people talk. But don’t worry, the gossip will die down soon. Especially if something else comes along to distract everyone.”
She rubbed the back of her neck. “I hope so. I’m not sure how much more of this I can take. Thanks, Jay. I’ll pay you back.”
He waved a hand. “Not a problem. Go home, you look like you could use a rest.”
But she didn’t go home. Instead she went looking for Gabe. She knew he’d closed on the boat that morning and she hadn’t heard from him since. His truck was in his driveway, so she used the key he’d given her to let herself in. She found him in the spare bedroom lifting weights.
“Hi,” she said.
His only response was a grunt.
She watched him do leg curls for a moment, then said, “Are you sure you should be pushing yourself so hard? It can’t be good for your leg.”
He finished the set. “It was either lift weights or get drunk and I decided it was too early to get drunk yet.”
“Does that mean you plan to later?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.” He started on another set. “Why are you off so early?”
“I couldn’t stand answering the same questions about Saturday night over and over, so Jay said he’d cover for me. And I was worried about you.”
“Me?” He laughed. “I’m just peachy, darlin’. I’m no longer broke. Of course, I still don’t have a job, but hey, one thing at a time.”
“You’ll find something. You just haven’t hit on what you want to do yet.” She sat beside him on the bench. “Can I do something to help?”
“Yeah, you can move so I can do another set.”
She ignored that comment. “Gabe, let me help.”
“You can’t. And I don’t want to talk about it. Just leave me alone, Lana.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
SHE LOOKED hurt, and he cursed himself for his bluntness. He set down the bar and sat up. “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. It’s just—I know you want to help, but there’s nothing you can do, Lana.”
“All right. But if you want to talk, I’m here.”
She left a short time later after he agreed to come see her that evening. While he appreciated her offer, he wasn’t going to whine about his employment problems to Lana. She didn’t need that on top of what she was already dealing with.
He spent the following day looking at the classifieds in the employment section, picking up the paper and putting it back down countless times. Finally late that afternoon he forced himself to go through the ads more carefully. Not much choice for an out-of-work fishing captain.
Nothing much appealed to him. Problem was, it was damn hard to go from being your own boss to being under someone else’s control, no matter how good a boss they might be. So he looked at the opportunities section, as well. The pickings were really slim there, especially for someone without a great deal of capital to invest and who wanted to stay in the Corpus/Aransas City area. Corpus Christi was only twenty to thirty minutes away, depending on how fast you drove.
Maybe he should buy the Laundromat that was for sale in Aransas City. He knew of it and thought it did a pretty good business. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine it. No, that wasn’t going to work. He knew nothing about running a Laundromat and he didn’t care enough to find out how.
Maybe Lana was right, and he should go back to school. Yeah, right. He’d been a poor student in high school, why should he be any better now? But what if he went to technical school? He could be a boat mechanic. Like most charter fishing captains, he knew a fair amount about fixing boats already. He’d just never thought about doing it for a living.
&n
bsp; He was still thinking about it when he went to Lana’s that evening. Another car stopped in front of her house and a man in a suit got out and walked up the steps. Gabe pulled into the driveway and got out, just in time to see Lana open the door. The man handed her a brown envelope, said something Gabe couldn’t hear and turned around and left.
She was staring down at the envelope with an odd expression on her face when he reached her. “What was that about?”
Lana raised her gaze to his. “I’ve been served.”
“Served what?”
“I haven’t looked, but I have a bad feeling I know.”
“What the—” He broke off as Lana shut the door, then opened the envelope and read the papers.
“Winters has filed a civil suit against me. He wants money to pay for medical expenses and loss of work due to his injuries.”
“Dammit, he must have done it the minute he found out the D.A. dropped the charges against you.”
“I guess he did. This says I have twenty days to file an answer.”
“You don’t seem surprised. Did you know this would happen? I should have, but I didn’t think of it. It’s exactly what Winters would do.”
“Maggie warned me he’d been talking about it.”
“You didn’t mention any of this to me.”
“I didn’t want you to worry.” She turned aside, tossed the papers on the coffee table and sat on the couch. “There was nothing either of us could do, so I didn’t see the sense in your getting upset, too.”
Nothing he could do. That sounded familiar. He couldn’t help her with this, he couldn’t help her with anything. He followed her to the couch and sat beside her.
“If I could get my hands on Winters—”
“Gabe, it’s my responsibility. If I hadn’t overreacted, none of this would be happening. For God’s sake, I broke the man’s nose.”
“You were defending yourself, Lana.”
“From a drunk, not a rapist.”
“You didn’t realize that at the time.”
“It doesn’t matter. At least I won’t have to go to jail. Even if…even if I do have to go into a courtroom again.” She bit her lip and looked away.