by Eve Gaddy
“Oh, Maggie, I thought it was the right thing to do. I couldn’t ask him to wait while I gained some control over my life.You saw what I did to that man when I thought he was attacking me. I misjudged the situation terribly. I’m lucky I didn’t hurt him even more.”
“So? We all make mistakes. And Winters did accost you in the parking lot and get into it with Gabe. He wasn’t blameless by a long shot.”
“That’s not all.” She pressed her lips together. “I hit Gabe. I had a nightmare and hit him.”
“Lana, you couldn’t help that.”
“I know, but it’s another indication that I haven’t moved on. That I might never move on. I need to be more in control of my life before I can have a relationship with Gabe. It isn’t fair to him.”
“Did he agree with you about that?”
“No. He wanted to work it out together.”
“And you don’t.”
“I don’t know if I can be the woman he needs.”
“You’re the woman he wants. Doesn’t he get a vote?”
“He’s voted. He’s moved on. It’s only been a week.” An endless week for her, full of misery. “One lousy week and he’s already going out with other women. I guess I’m getting what I deserve.”
“WHAT’S GOOD to eat?” Katrina asked Gabe after the waiter brought their drinks and chips.
“I usually have Antonio’s special enchiladas.” Gabe was having a damn hard time not staring at Lana like some kind of lovelorn fool. Though he might be a fool, he did have some pride. He kept his gaze firmly on his menu or the woman across from him.
“I appreciate you making this a working dinner,” Katrina said as she looked over the menu. “I’m taking the red-eye out of Corpus and wanted something more than cheese and crackers from the airport gift shop.”
“No problem.” She was beautiful, he admitted. Once upon a time he’d have been doing his best to get her into bed, business be damned. But that was before Lana had ruined him for other women.
Katrina closed her menu and laid it on the table. “I realize this might sound a little personal since I hardly know you and we’re here on business, but why is that blonde you introduced me to looking at me like she wants to skewer me?”
“Is she?” Gabe put his beer down and glanced at Lana, who quickly looked away. Nah, wishful thinking. He picked up his beer and sipped again. “I don’t think so.”
“Oh, yeah, she is.” She looked at Lana again, then back to him. “Does she have the hots for you or something?”
Gabe choked and set down his beer.
“Sorry, I have a bad habit of saying whatever pops into my head. But does she?”
Oh, hell, why not tell her? He wasn’t likely to ever see her again, anyway. “Not anymore. We broke up a week ago. She broke it off.”
Katrina glanced over at Lana again. “Doesn’t look like she’s done with you. Do you want me to tell her I’m just trying to sell you fuel pumps for your store?”
A sliver of hope kindled to life in his chest. If Lana was jealous, maybe she cared more than he’d thought. “No.” He gave her his most charming smile. “Would you mind?”
Eyes dancing with merriment, she smiled back. “Anything for a potential client. Well, not anything,” she added. “But this would be my pleasure. I’ve never minded flirting with a good-looking guy.”
Gabe laughed. “Tell me about these new fuel pumps and why I should buy them.”
She sent him a sultry smile and leaned forward. “I thought you’d never ask.”
“I DON’T THINK I can stand this,” Lana said, seeing the woman put her hand on Gabe’s arm and stroke it.
“Dammit!”
Startled, Lana looked at Maggie.
Maggie’s jaw tightened. Setting her fork down, she said, “Damn, damn, damn. I am so not doing this.”
“What are you talking about, Maggie?”
“I said I wouldn’t tell you but this—” She waved a hand in Gabe’s direction. “This is beyond stupid. Do you know why Winters dropped the suit against you?”
“Yes. Gabe offered to pay him. I had to drag the story out of him and then make him let me pay him back.”
“That’s not all he offered him. The day after you were served, I stopped Winters for speeding. He had a ton of fishing tackle in the bed of his truck. I’m not talking a rod and reel or two, I’m talking a lot of stuff. Enough to outfit an entire commercial boat. He runs a charter service like Gabe does, so it was possible it was his, but it seemed odd to me he’d have it all in his truck and not at his boat. So I questioned him.”
In dawning horror Lana said, “No. Oh, no. Tell me Gabe didn’t—”
“Of course he did,” Maggie snapped. “Winters made a deal with Gabe, the tackle and some cash for his dropping the suit. Gabe had sworn him to secrecy, but he sang like a songbird when he thought I would pop him for theft. I didn’t believe him, so I called Gabe. It’s true, Lana. Gabe made me promise not to tell you.”
“Why would he do that? That tackle is so expensive, it will take him years to accumulate again.”
“He’s not planning on buying more. He won’t be charter fishing again. He said he was done with it.”
“For good?”
“That’s what he said. He said he wouldn’t be using it anymore anyway, so there was no reason not to give it to Winters.”
“I feel awful. I can’t believe he’d do something so rash. And not even tell me.”
“He loves you. He wanted to spare you pain.”
She looked at Gabe again. “If he loves me so much, then why is he flirting with that woman?”
Maggie rolled her eyes. “To make you jealous. And guess what, it’s working.”
Was it ever. “I could kill him. He shouldn’t have done it. That boat was his dream. It was bad enough he had to sell it, but to get rid of all his tackle…” Because of her. Because he knew how she felt about going to court. He’d given up his dream without a backward glance.
“Can I be honest?” Maggie asked.
Lana smiled. “Aren’t you always?”
Maggie’s quick grin flashed. “My mother always said I was born without a speck of tact. I think—no, I know—if I had a man who loved me as much as Gabe loves you, I wouldn’t give him up. Not for anything.”
“I thought I was doing the right thing. Maybe…maybe I was wrong.”
Maggie leaned forward and said very quietly, “Don’t let the bastard who attacked you win. He’s already torn your life apart once, don’t let him do it again.”
Lana stared at her. Was that what she was doing, letting the rapist win? “I hadn’t thought about it that way. Letting him win. Everything I’ve done since that night has been in reaction to what he did to me. I haven’t been dealing with it, getting past it. I’ve been letting that one night define me. And I’ve been scared. Too scared to let anyone close, so I pushed them away. Everyone, including Gabe. I’ve been a coward, but I’m not going to be one anymore.”
“A coward is the last thing I’d call you, Lana. I think you’re a remarkably strong woman who’s had a terrible thing happen to her. And I think you deserve some happiness now.” She reached across the table and squeezed Lana’s hand. “And so does Gabe.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
GABE’S TRUCK was the only vehicle in the driveway, but Lana knew that didn’t mean he was home alone. She rang his doorbell, wondering what she’d do if the woman he’d taken to dinner was with him. She’d thought about calling first, but decided to hell with that. If the woman was inside, Lana was going in and hauling her perky butt out of there.
What if you find her in his bed? The nagging voice that wouldn’t shut up whispered again. Resolutely, Lana pushed that possibility out of her mind. Although Gabe was perfectly free to do whatever he wanted, she couldn’t believe he’d take another woman to bed so soon after they’d broken up. She wouldn’t believe it unless she saw it.
Please, God, don’t let her see it.
After what fel
t like eons later, Gabe opened the door. He didn’t speak, just stood silhouetted in the open doorway, a dim glow of light behind him. He had on a pair of well-worn jeans, white at the stress points, zipped but not buttoned, and nothing else. Bare feet, bare chest, tan male skin… Everything she’d been going to say flew out of her mind on a wave of pure, unadulterated desire.
His eyes were heavy-lidded, as if he’d just climbed out of bed, his jaw shadowed with his beard. His dark hair was disordered. From sleep, she wondered, or a woman’s hands?
Her heart rate accelerated, her blood heated as her gaze traveled over his wide chest sprinkled with black hair, the sleekly muscled pecs and arms and the washboard abs she wanted desperately to put her hands on. Her mouth went dry as she dragged her gaze back to his face. She could tell absolutely nothing from his expression, which was as closed as she’d ever seen it.
“Is she here?”
His mouth lifted in a smile. He didn’t answer, just stepped aside and let her in, then shut the door behind her. Yet still, he didn’t speak.
“Tell me, dammit. Is that woman here?”
He jerked her into his arms and crushed his mouth to hers in a steaming kiss. Flinging her arms around his neck, she kissed him back, answering the rough thrust of his tongue with hers, plastering her body against his. His arms tightening around her, he kissed her with single-minded intensity.
Endless moments later he buried his face in her neck and held her close. “You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to do that.”
“Was that a no?” she managed to gasp.
He laughed and nuzzled her neck. “Would I have answered the door if I’d had a woman here with me?”
The rush of relief was so intense it made her dizzy. “God, I hope not.” She framed his face with her palms and smiled at him, her heart bursting with emotion. Suddenly nothing mattered, not the past, not all the hurt they’d both endured, nothing but the joy spreading through her. “I love you.”
His eyes were so intense, liquid and deep, she could have drowned in them. His mouth curved upward and then he kissed her, slowly and very thoroughly. “I love you, Lana,” he said, his voice as dark as midnight.
“Make love to me, Gabe,” she whispered.
His eyes blazed and he kissed her again. Raised his head and said, “Come with me.”
He’d lost his cane somewhere, but the big over-stuffed chair beside the couch was only a few steps away. Gabe sat, bringing her with him, cradling her in his lap, his lips locked to hers. He tugged her blouse from the skirt, slipping his hand beneath to cup her breast and her nipple beaded instantly.
As he caressed her, she slid her hand over his chest and lower, down his abdomen, and still lower, to close her hand over his erection, straining against the denim.
They both groaned. He crushed his mouth to hers, tasting her greedily as she stroked him. He struggled with her buttons, managing to open a couple before he bunched the fabric at her sides and pushed it up over her breasts.
“Raise your arms,” he said hoarsely.
She did as he said and he swept off the blouse, then popped her bra open and flung it aside. His eyes darkened to nearly black as he traced a finger down her breast and lightly circled first one nipple, then the other. She shuddered, wanting him so much she was on fire with it.
He filled his hands with her breasts, bent his head to touch his tongue to one nipple and then to suck it into his mouth. She felt the pull deep inside, in her very core, and her blood sizzled.
Raising his head, he gathered her to him, skin against skin, the hair on his chest, the hardness of his muscles, and the warmth of his body combining to send her pulse skyrocketing. She felt his lips at her neck and her head fell back. He feasted on her, sucked her neck, bit lightly and soothed it with his tongue, while his hands swept down her sides and then to her hips to pull her closer still.
Frantic to have him now, she wiggled away from him and went to work on his zipper. He fought with hers, cursing when he couldn’t get it to work. She stood and shimmied out of the skirt, then slid her panties down her legs and watched as he pushed his jeans and briefs down and off. He held out his hands to her and she took them.
Lana straddled him and kissed him, sliding her tongue deep into his mouth.
He gripped her hips, positioning her above him, then slid home with a deep thrust. She moaned, tightened her muscles around him, kissed his mouth as their bodies strained against each other. His hands anchored her, caressed her as he pushed inside and pulled back, the friction so sweetly intense she thought she’d die. Her orgasm burst, crashing over her like the surf at high tide, spiraling out of control. He drove inside her a final time and she felt him come, her name on his lips as he did.
A long time later she was still sprawled limply against him, too content to move. “I was so afraid,” she said, her head on his shoulder.
“What were you afraid of, honey?” One hand slipped through her hair with feather-light touches, toying with the ends, the other caressed her back in long smooth strokes from her neck to her hips.
“That you didn’t want me.”
“Lana, that was never the problem. I’ve always wanted you. I always will.”
“And I was afraid I was frigid.”
She heard the smile in his voice as he said, “Not even close.”
She pulled back to look at him. Moved her fingers gently over his cheek as she gazed into his eyes. “Making love with you was wonderful, Gabe. But…it doesn’t mean I won’t ever have problems. Not every time, obviously, but I just don’t know what to expect.”
He turned his head to kiss her fingers. “Whatever happens, we’ll work it out. Together,” he said simply, and she believed him.
“I’m getting help. I’m going back to counseling. Next week.”
“Is that what you want?”
“It’s what I need.”
“Then I’m glad.” He tugged her head down and kissed her. “Have I mentioned that I love you?”
“Yes, but you can say it again. I love you, too.” She started to kiss him but he stopped her.
“I have a big, comfortable bed in the other room. Think we could move in there? I’m afraid I’m going to be permanently frozen in this position if we don’t move soon.”
She laughed and slid off him. Held her hand out to grasp his. “You can lean on me.”
“Good, because I don’t have a clue what I’ve done with my cane.”
“WE NEED TO TALK,” Lana said a long time later. She was sitting in bed, wearing one of his T-shirts, though why she’d bothered, he didn’t know. He liked looking at her naked and would have been happy to do it all night.
He propped himself up on his right arm. “Last time I heard those words, you broke up with me.”
“I’m sorry I put us both through that. It was stupid of me.”
“Doesn’t matter,” he said, taking one of her hands and bringing it to his lips. “You’re here now and that’s what counts.”
“But it does matter. I should have talked to you. Listened to you. Instead, I pushed you away and put us both through a week of hell.”
“Thank God, it only lasted a week. But you came back. What changed your mind?” He wondered if it had anything to do with seeing him with another woman, and if she’d admit to it if it did.
“Maggie said some things that made me think I was wrong. She said I was letting the rapist win by not allowing myself to find happiness. I realized she was right.” She was quiet a moment, then said, “But that wasn’t all. You should have talked to me. You should have told me what you did.”
Puzzled, he looked at her.
“Gabe, why did you give Rod Winters all your tackle? That was a crazy thing to do.”
“Damn.” He sat up and leaned against the head-board, shoved a hand through his hair. “Maggie spilled it, didn’t she? I told her not to tell you.”
“Why? And why on earth did you do it? You know you can’t afford to buy all new tackle.”
“It doesn’t matter, Lana. I don’t need it.”
“Gabe—” Her eyes shimmered with moisture. “You gave up your dream for me. It’s too much.”
“No.” He shook his head. “I knew you’d think it was your fault and it wasn’t. That’s why I didn’t want you to know. I’d already given up that dream.” He touched her cheek, wet now with tears. “Don’t cry. It was gone the day I had the wreck, Lana. I just didn’t want to admit it.”
“You might have been able to start over, if you’d kept that stuff,” she insisted. “You still could, if you’d let me repay you.”
He shook his head. “No, it’s too late.”
“Don’t say that. It isn’t too late. Once your leg is better—”
“I needed a break from my past before I could dream about my future.” He took one of her hands and held it. “Giving him that tackle was a good thing, Lana. It made me consider other possibilities. I might not have if I hadn’t been forced to accept that my fishing life was over for good.”
“You sound happy. How can you be happy about this?”
“Because I have a new dream now. And I have you back. How can I lose?”
“You found something you want to do. Oh, Gabe, I’m so glad.” Her eyes sparkled and lit up her face. “What is it? Tell me right now.”
He grinned at her enthusiasm. “It’ll keep. I’ll tell you tomorrow, I promise.”
“Why can’t you tell me now? Gabe—”
He stopped her questions by kissing her. When she would have spoken, he kissed her again. “Tomorrow. I have more important things to do tonight.” He slid his hand to the hem of the T-shirt and started to lift it.
“Gabe, wait. There’s something else.”
He stopped because she sounded serious. “What?”
“I know I don’t have any right to ask, or to object, or even to mention it…”
He smiled, certain he knew where she was headed. “Mention what?”
“That woman you were with.Was she…did she…would you have—” She broke off and glared at him. “Stop smiling, there’s nothing amusing about it.”
“You’re jealous.”