by Todd, E. L.
“Then we’re stupid,” Breccan said.
Calloway shook his head. “I can’t believe this is happening.”
Easton rubbed his shoulder, sliding her hand gently down his arm. “It’s going to be okay, Calloway. You can still help the White Wing. In fact, you are invaluable to them now, acting as a spy for them.”
“Weston would never accept that,” Calloway said.
“Then we won’t tell her,” Easton said. “She doesn’t have to know. We know you’re good, Calloway. Revealing the revelation is unnecessary.”
“Did you not hear how angry she was that I hid so much from her?” Calloway asked. “I can’t do that again, especially with something this big, that I’m the enemy.”
“You aren’t the enemy!” Breccan snarled. “Stop saying that.”
“But I am!” Calloway answered. “Stab me in the heart and see if I die. That will determine if I really am a Hara-Kir.”
“And what if you die?” Easton asked.
“Then that would be even better,” Calloway snapped.
“Calloway!” Easton yelled. “Don’t talk like that!”
Calloway turned away from his two friends and left the house, moving across the grass to the street. Breccan and Easton followed him but they stopped at the end of the lawn. Calloway heard their whispers.
“Let him go,” Breccan said. “He needs to be alone.”
“No,” Easton said. “He needs to be with us.”
“He’ll realize that eventually.”
Calloway continued to move down the street, walking with his hands shoved in his pockets. He wasn’t sure where he was going or what he was leaving behind, but his feet continued to guide him forward. His mind was clouded with confusion and he felt the spasm of pain course through his body.
When he traveled to the Anti-Life he didn’t realize he wasn’t going somewhere new, but somewhere he had already been. It was his home and the revelation made him feel nauseated. It explained everything. Now he understood why the Hara-Kirs didn’t attack him—they knew he was one of their own. The Hara-Kir communicated with him at prom because he knew that Calloway was a Hara-Kir as well, since his essence was absent.
The fact that he didn’t have an essence, a soul, was the worst part. When his body reached the finality of age, his body would disintegrate and he would disappear from this life, seizing to exist for all eternity. Weston and his friends would travel to the After-Life but he would never join them—he wasn’t meant to. This knowledge brought him to tears and he let the drops fall down his face freely, knowing the darkness of night hid his depressed face from view.
He kept walking until he found himself in front of Weston’s house again. The lights were shining through her window and he wondered what she was doing this late at night. Was she just as upset as he was? Did she hate him now? He wasn’t sure why he was drawn to Weston in such a powerful way, especially since he wasn’t even human. Perhaps he was attracted to her essence and he wanted to claim it as his own, but then he dismissed the idea, disturbed for even thinking it. Calloway would never let her essence be compromised—ever. He stood in front of the house for a long time, not moving as he let his tears drip down his face. His friends were supportive and understanding, and Calloway knew the disturbing information wouldn’t change their friendship in any way, but he needed someone else to comfort him. Weston was the only thing he ever wanted, ever needed, even though he never understood why. The relationship he had with Beatrice had been a waste of time and he never should have dated her, not when his feelings for Weston were this powerful and unbreakable. There was no one else for him in this world—there would never be. The revelation made him sad. He needed her like plants needed water, wanted her like the earth needed the sky, but he couldn’t have her—ever. Calloway knew he needed to let her go, as impossible as that sounded.
Even though he was a Hara-Kir, he knew he would never side with the Anti-Life, even if that was his purpose. His complete allegiance was protecting the Life—that would never change.
Suddenly, the front door opened and Weston stepped onto the porch, her arms crossed over her chest. She stopped a few feet away from Calloway. She appeared so quickly that Calloway as unable to hide or run—he had been caught. He was standing in the dark, hidden in the shadows. He was surprised she detected his presence.
She shifted her weight and stared at him. “Why do you always come here?” she asked.
Calloway swallowed the lump in his throat. He didn’t wipe away his tears, unashamed of his emotions in front of Weston. “What do you mean?”
“I’m aware of everything around me, Calloway. Just because you are standing in darkness doesn’t mean I can’t see you.” The strands of brown hair fell over one shoulder, exposing the opposite one. Calloway stared at the thin night shirt that hung around her body. She was wearing shorts to bear the warm summer and he admired the toned muscles of her leg. Even from this distance, Calloway could see the blue irises of her eyes that shined in the darkness. She stepped closer to him with her arms still wrapped around her body. She didn’t seem angry or upset, just direct. “Why are you here?”
Calloway sighed, ashamed that he had been caught. “I’m sorry.” He didn’t know what else to say. The last thing he wanted was to make her uncomfortable, but now he had been caught lurking around her house late at night, like a stalker. Calloway felt horrible for making her wary of him. The sight would make anyone afraid.
Weston stepped closer to him, standing directly in front of him. “Why are you here?” she repeated. She gave him a hard look, commanding him to speak with just her powerful stare.
Calloway wiped his tears away. “I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t know.”
She stared at him for a moment, saying nothing.
“I’m sorry about everything,” Calloway said. “I apologize for yelling at you.” The tears still fell from his eyes and he wanted to be held, not have Weston stare at his broken frame while he collapsed in front of her.
Weston seemed to read his mind. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him to her, letting him rest his face in the crook of her neck. Calloway hugged her to his chest tightly and felt his body fall into the sanctuary of her arms. He immediately felt better, safe, in her embrace. He smelled the scent of her hair and felt the smooth skin under the shirt of her waist. She completed him in every way and he couldn’t help but feel happy when he held her. The tears finally stopped falling but she didn’t release her hold on him. She didn’t speak to him or try to comfort him with empty words, which Calloway was thankful. Just holding her was enough to thaw his frozen heart.
“I’m sorry about everything, Weston,” he said. He pulled away from her neck and placed his forehead against hers. “I’m so sorry.”
Weston sighed. “Me too.”
“I need you to forgive me,” Calloway said.
“I can’t.”
“Please?” he begged. “I need you.”
“I know.” She ran her fingers through his hair and the touch made Calloway shiver. “But I’m sorry. This isn’t going to happen—ever.”
Calloway took a deep breath. “Why?”
“You know why,” she said. “I can’t trust you. You’re an enigma, Calloway.”
“I told you everything, Weston.”
“I know,” she said. “But that isn’t enough.”
Calloway sighed. He couldn’t describe the pain he felt at her rejection. It was too immense. A part of him knew she would reject his affections but he wasn’t prepared for the excruitiating pain. He wanted to argue with her, convince her that she should be with him, but he knew Weston well, better than anyone, and understood that the harder he tried, the more she would pull away. He took a deep breath and forced the words from his mouth. “Okay.”
He stared at the freckle in the corner of her mouth and knew he would never have the opportunity to kiss the skin he was enchanted by. Weston would never return his affection and Calloway knew it was for the best. Now th
at he was a Hara-Kir their relationship would never work. He could never hide something so tantamount, potentially dangerous, from her if she were his girlfriend. Calloway placed his hand on her cheek and felt the smooth skin under his fingertips. He stared at the freckle, and against his better judgment, he leaned in and kissed her gently on the corner of her mouth. She didn’t move away from his embrace and he let his lips linger on hers for a moment. Calloway felt the surge of emotions flow through him while he felt her mouth against his own. He had to force himself to break the touch.
“I’ve always wanted to do that,” he whispered.
He turned away, leaving Weston standing alone in her yard, and walked down the street back to his home. His last moment with Weston numbed his heart substantially but the pain was still excruitiating. If only he had Weston’s love, everything else wouldn’t seem to back-breaking; it would be irrelevant. But he accepted the loss. Weston would never be his and shouldn’t be anyway—not when he was as dangerous as he was. Even though he was committed to fighting for the Life, he knew that wouldn’t be enough to keep Weston in his life. Weston deserved the best—nothing less.
The Quorum
“So, we are agreed then?” Easton asked, driving down the road toward Weston’s home. “We aren’t going to tell Weston the truth about Calloway—or what we think is the truth?”
“No,” Breccan said. “It’s already unlikely that he’ll be accepted into the White Wing as it is, and that knowledge would just make it impossible. Since we know Calloway has nothing but good intentions I think we should keep it that way—among the three of us.”
“But if they do accept him into the White Wing, aren’t they going to test him to verify that he isn’t a Hara-Kir?” Easton asked.
Calloway felt his body flinch when he recalled the biological test he did with Marquan. “Wait,” he said. “Marquan checked my DNA and said it was one hundred percent human.”
“What does that mean?” Easton asked. “That you aren’t a Hara-Kir?”
“But he doesn’t have an essence,” Breccan said. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“Unless someone took it from me,” Calloway said. “But that still doesn’t add up. Why would I still be alive if I didn’t have one? I thought the essence was essential to human function?”
“I don’t know,” Easton said as they approached Weston’s neighborhood. “But doesn’t that mean you aren’t a Hara-Kir? That’s good news, right?”
Calloway shook his head. “Marquan must have done the test incorrectly,” he said. “I have to be a Hara-Kir—there’s no other explanation.”
“But you don’t make hissing noises like Frankenstein,” Breccan said.
“Well, I could if I tried,” Calloway said. He started to hiss like them, trying to sound demonic and frightening, but it wasn’t quite the same.
“Let me try,” Breccan said. His hiss sounded like a high-pitched scream.
“We are getting off track here,” Easton said. “If the test is incorrect, it doesn’t matter—Calloway is still safe. He can work in the White Wing and no one will ever know of his true lineage.”
Calloway shrugged. “I guess,” he said. “It’s still deceitful.”
“Well, it’s for the greater good,” she said. She stopped the car in front of the house and they climbed out. “I hope you and Weston can control your temper around each other today.”
Calloway never told his friends about the evening before, when Weston held him in her arms and ran her fingers through his hair. He said nothing about the innocent kiss. “I think we’ll be fine. I understand her point of view.”
“You understand that it’s stupid?” Easton said, walking up to the front door. “My sister is very smart but she only sees in black and white. Sometimes she can’t see the big picture—she’s a dud.”
“It’s okay,” Calloway said gently. “She’s just trying to do what’s best for humanity. She has good intentions.”
Easton shook her head. “My sister is annoying—just admit it.”
Calloway smiled. “She can be a little irritating.”
“Well, thank you for the compliment,” Weston said, smiling as she opened the door. “And here’s some advice: don’t ridicule someone while standing on their front porch because they’ll hear you—and they might have a shotgun.” She turned away and let them walk into the house. “Why are you here?”
“We wanted to talk to you,” Easton said.
Weston took a seat at the table and drank from her coffee. “About what?” she asked.
“What is the White Wing planning to do about the attack?” Easton asked.
“That’s none of your business,” Weston said. “But I can assure you we’re taking care of it.”
“Did you tell them about Calloway?” she asked.
“It came up,” she said. She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest.
“And what do they plan to do with him?” Easton asked.
“Nothing at the moment,” she answered. “Some of the members are exploring the portal entrance today while the others are trying to decipher the Kirin Book, in addition to researching Calloway’s father.”
“Let me know if you find anything,” Calloway said.
Weston nodded.
Easton stared at her sister. “Since they know about Calloway, we want you to introduce him to the society. Try to get him in the White Wing. He’s obviously very useful to you and your cause, whether you trust him or not.”
“Like I said before,” Weston said. “I have no control over who they admit into the society.”
“But you could still suggest him or have the quorum meet to discuss it. You know that Calloway is useful—he should be a part of your society.”
Weston sighed. “I don’t know.”
Easton leaned toward her sister. “Answer me this: do you think Calloway is devoted to protecting the Life?”
Weston turned to Calloway, who had his gaze averted, and then back to her sister. “Of course I do.”
“Good,” Easton said. “I was going to slap you if you said otherwise. So isn’t it in our best interest to have him as an ally? He can confide all his knowledge to you, knowing you trust him, and help you reach your goal. He’s been to the Anti-Life so he’s incredibly useful.”
Weston pushed her cup away. “I’ll see what I can do. But If I get the quorum to congregate that doesn’t guarantee anything. After they hear all the evidence, they could kill Calloway for being treasonous. I really have no idea how they will react.”
Calloway swallowed the lump in his throat, suddenly feeling frightened.
“Knowing that, do you still want me to approach them?” Weston asked, looking at Calloway.
He was quiet for a moment. The idea of being killed for doing nothing wrong, just having a bad circumstance made his heart palpitate. Not having an essence made his impending death even more frightening, but he didn’t have a choice. His fight against the Anti-Life was useless unless he had aid. “Yes,” he said. “I want to help, even if I have to risk my life to do it. It will only prove my commitment to your cause.”
“Are you sure?” she asked.
“Yes,” Calloway answered.
“Okay,” she said. “Let’s go.”
“Now?” Calloway asked, surprised that this was going to happen immediately. “Don’t you need to organize this?”
Weston grabbed her keys from the counter and walked to the door. “No,” she said. “It won’t take long to organize this. I know they are interested in you, Calloway, so I’m sure they want to address this quickly.”
The three rose from the table and followed her outside the door.
“I’ll meet you there,” Weston said as she got inside her car.
Easton drove them to the campus across town and Calloway sweated the entire time, overcome with the anxiety of the impending moment. His shirt started to stick to his body from the accumulated moisture and his mouth felt parched from the loss of fluid. He had no
idea what to expect and he certainly didn’t expect this to happen so suddenly. If they found him too suspicious and untrustworthy, they might just kill him where he stood. Knowing he didn’t have an essence made him even more frightened. If he died that would be the end of it—he would be gone.
When the campus came into view, Calloway clenched his fists together, trying to remain calm.
Easton saw his unease in the rearview mirror. “You’re going to be fine, Calloway. You have Breccan and I to testify for your goodness, in addition to Marquan’s DNA results. They have no reason to reject you.”
Calloway sighed. “I sincerely hope you’re right.”
They parked the car and climbed out of the vehicle, following Weston to the White Wing building. When they walked inside, she pointed to the chairs in the sitting room, which was vacant of other students. “Wait here,” she said.
She turned to the right and disappeared down a hallway that Calloway hadn’t noticed before. He wondered where she was going.
“I would have dressed nicer if I knew this was going to happen,” Calloway said. He felt his knee shake as he sat in the lounge chair, unable to control the spasm in his muscles. Sweat drenched his palms and he wiped the moisture on his pants. “Don’t give Weston the letter if they kill me.”
Easton raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore,” he answered. “Besides, she already knows how I feel about her.”
“Did you tell her?” Breccan asked.
Calloway sighed. “She already knows.”
They sat together for an hour, talking about irrelevant things to keep Calloway calm. He tried to focus thoughts on something else, anything else besides his upcoming trial, but his mind constantly shifted back to the thoughts that made his heart palpitate.
“You’re going to be okay, Calloway.” Easton smiled.
Calloway was too nervous to even speak.
A woman emerged from the hallway that Weston had disappeared through. She had long brown hair and a petite waistline and she was taller—taller than Calloway. “The quorum is ready for you, Mr. Martins.”