by Tasha Ivey
“Ahem.” Makenna appears in the kitchen door, pretending to clear her throat. “You better love the ooey gooey lovey stuff or there may not be any other kind of lovey stuff the night of our wedding.”
He stands and stalks over to her, pressing her into the doorframe with his hips. “I love it already.”
“Okay.” I jump up from my seat and squeeze around them in the doorway. “That’s my cue. It wouldn’t make my day any better to see Sawyer’s naked ass. You two kids have fun.”
“Bye,” Makenna mumbles between kisses.
And they’re not even newlyweds yet. I’m not coming over here for at least six months after they’re married.
The entire way home, I work on resigning myself to never seeing Devyn or Simon again. It’s only been about a week, so it’s not like I was fully invested. I’m not in love with her. I’d probably come closer to say that I love Simon. Maybe Sawyer’s right. Maybe I wanted her so bad just to prove to myself that I could have her. The truth is that, while I may be more confident in myself, I’m still the same nerdy kid that I’ve always been. If she didn’t like me for who I was then, I sure as hell don’t need her approval now.
When I get home, I’m not even in any mood to run. I just want to go to sleep, so I check my phone for texts or messages again—nothing—and crawl into bed, hoping that I don’t get any calls from the hospital. My bedside manner would probably be somewhere in the Charles Manson range. Sleep is evasive, though, because I can’t stop thinking about what I can do about all of this.
I need to just go back to life as I know it. Work, home, and my friends. Having a family of my own was just some delusional fantasy. I don’t need all of that. I never wanted it. When I had that mindset, women were much easier to deal with. They were in, we both got what we wanted from the relationship, and they were out. No hurt feelings. No games.
Sex satiates a certain kind of hunger. Just like with food, you get hungry, you eat, and you’re good to go for a while. Feelings, however, are unquenchable. The heart isn’t ever satisfied. It drains you, sucking you emotionless, so that you’re left empty and cold and looking for more feelings to feed its incessant thirst.
You start falling for someone, and you overanalyze everything. You can’t wait until the next moment comes when you can see them again. You obsess about them, filling every thought of every day with things the other person has said or done or the way they touched you or looked at you. You’re not happy unless you’re with them, finding new things to analyze and stress over, making new memories to replay in your head over and over again.
The heart is a greedy bastard. It’s like a stray dog. You feed it once, and it’ll never stop whining at your door.
I’ve fed the monster, and I’m probably going to have to pay for it for a while.
But this is the last time.
IT’S TAKEN ME a few days to find my rhythm, but I think I’m over it. It’s now Thursday, and I still haven’t heard anything from Devyn or even Kyler.
That just proves that Sawyer was right. She figured out who I am, and at that moment, she was done with me. It’s silly, really. About as silly as the way I’ve stressed out over it. But if she’s that superficial, then I’m better off anyway.
Ella knows something is up, so she’s been pressing me for details all week. But I’m tired of whining to everybody about my love life, or lack thereof. Things are just going to go back to how they used to be. And if Ella thinks I’m a whore, then I guess I’m okay with that. Maybe that’s all I’ll ever be good for.
But women, in general, have left a bad taste in my mouth, so I don’t even want to think about seeing anyone right now. I’m okay with taking matters into my own hands for a while…literally.
“Dalton, someone’s on the phone for you.” Ella appears in my door with her purse thrown over her shoulder.
“It’s six o’clock. Why did you answer the phone after hours?”
She bites down on a smirk. “Maybe because they called earlier today, and I told them to call back at six.”
“Who is it?”
“Stan and I are leaving. Goodnight.” She waves and walks away.
“Ella! Who is it?”
She calls out from the lobby. “Goodnight!” she calls out before the front door closes and locks.
I look down at the flashing light on the phone, and I can hear it beeping in Ella’s office, begging to be taking off hold. I’ve been telling Stan that we need caller ID, and this is one of the times it would be beneficial. I’m just going to have to pay for it myself, I guess.
Finally, deciding that light isn’t going to stop blinking at me, I pick up the receiver and press the button to connect to the line.
“Dr. Hoover,” I answer.
The line is quiet.
“Hello?”
I hear a soft breath. “It’s me, Dalton.”
“Devyn? Why didn’t you just call me on my cell phone?”
“I deleted the number, so I couldn’t call you.”
“Oh.” I should probably do the same.
“I’m sorry for calling you at work, and if you can’t talk right now, I completely understand.”
I drop my pen and lean back in my chair. It’s damn good to hear her voice, and it really shouldn’t be. “Of course I can talk to you. Let’s meet for dinner. We can go somewhere quiet and you can say whatever you need to.” Why did I just ask her out…again?
“No, it was hard enough to call. I just…I can’t get you out of my head. I’m so mad at you for what you did. I need to know why.”
My eyes close. At least I’m getting the chance to tell her. “I was scared, Devyn.”
“Scared?” Her voice raises an octave. “Of what? Of getting caught? Of not getting to date both of us at the same time?”
Well, I’ll be damned. She didn’t know. “Whoa. What are you talking about?”
“She told me, Dalton. When Kyler came over to talk after she caught me at your house, she told me that she had just been there the night before. That you slept with her. She even played part of the voicemail you left her the next day, apologizing for what happened with me.”
I shake my head profusely, even though I know she can’t see me. “No, Devyn. I never slept with your sister. She did come over, but I turned her down.”
Her growl rumbles through the speaker. “Don’t you dare lie to me. I saw the picture.”
I pound my desk with my fist. “What freaking picture, Devyn? We didn’t do anything to take pictures of.”
“I know it’s you and not something she pulled off the internet, Dalton. I recognize the tattoo across your shoulder blades, the doctor symbol thing…uh…the caduceus or whatever. I saw it the night I came over and you didn’t have a shirt on.”
My mind is reeling, thinking back to the night that I fell asleep while Kyler was there. Did she stage something and take a picture of it? I was pretty out of it, but I don’t know how she would’ve gotten a picture of my back without me waking up.
“Devyn. I swear to you. Nothing happened with Kyler. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“It’s definitely you, and it’s highly unlikely that she’d be in your shower without you ever noticing her taking a picture of your ass.”
Oh, shit. “She didn’t. Please tell me this is some prank.”
“I wish it was,” she says, deflated. “You tell me you were scared, but you don’t want to admit the thing you were scared of? That’s pretty screwed up. I’ve seen the proof, so there’s no point in denying anything. Please just admit it, so I can move on.”
I’d love to admit what I was scared of, but there’s really not any sense in opening that wound. She already doesn’t want to see me again. She just wants closure that I can’t give her. I won’t admit to something that I never would’ve done. But I can admit something else I was scared of and hope it’ll be enough.
“I said I was scared, but the reason isn’t that I didn’t want to get caught. I was trying to protect you, so I d
idn’t tell you what happened. I didn’t want to get between you and Kyler. And you can believe me or not, but I swear this on my life. I wasn’t screwing around with Kyler and trying to date you at the same time.”
“So explain, then.”
“Well, the night before you showed up at my house, Kyler showed up at my office, wanting to bring dinner over. I didn’t really want her to, but she was trying to be nice, so I went home to shower while she went to pick up some food. I was hoping to be able to eat and get her to leave so I could go to bed. What I wasn’t expecting was for her to jump in the shower with me. I guess she took the picture before I realized she was in there. She came onto me, and I admit that I did kiss her back. But as soon as I started kissing her, it was you in my head. I stopped her right then and made her leave. That’s the honest-to-God truth, Devyn. And I still have the text from her when she apologized for it. You can come and see it for yourself.”
She huffs out a long breath. “How am I supposed to believe that when my own sister tells me otherwise? What would she have to gain from lying to me?”
Oh, I don’t know. Maybe there’s some very disturbed part of her that thinks if she keeps me away from Devyn that I’ll still date her. After the way she flaunted me around to all of her friends, I’m sure it would be a little weird to explain that I’m with Devyn and not her, not that it’s going to happen now.
And I do feel bad about it. The whole situation sucks.
“Meet me at her house or pick her up and bring her to mine. I want to prove to you that nothing happened. I’ll make her tell you that it was all a lie.”
“You’re right.” She huffs. “It was a lie. A whole hell of a lot of them, actually. Everything you said to me. And everything you said to her, too, it seems. She’s really torn up about it. I wouldn’t ever make her face you again, especially for you to pressure her into lying to me. Do you have any remorse at all? No, wait. Don’t answer that. If you did, you wouldn’t still be lying about it.”
If she won’t even entertain the possibility that I’m not lying and she won’t give me a chance to prove it, then I guess there’s nothing else I can do. “I have no reason to lie to you, but if you’re hell bent on believing what you think is true, then I guess we’re done. I’ve done lots of things in my life that I regret, but I don’t play people like that. I really like you, Devyn. After all this time…uh…a few days, I would think you’d know that. If I could go back in time, back to the night of the Fall Fest after I got Simon down from that ride, I wouldn’t have talked to Kyler on anything more than a professional level. I would’ve waited for you to walk into my life when you brought him into the clinic that day. That is my only regret.”
She’s silent for a moment, and I start to think she hung up the phone long ago, but I finally hear her breath. “You? It was you who got Simon down?”
“Well…yeah. I thought you knew that.”
“No.” She sighs. “Kyler told me that she did. No wonder Simon looked at me like I was crazy when I brought it up. Look…can we finish this conversation later? I need to go.”
A little, tiny, almost non-existent shred of hope flutters in my chest. “Of course. If you ever want to talk, you know where to find me. Day or night.”
“Thanks.”
Click.
I fall forward so hard that my head bounces off the stack of lab results I’ve been studying. I don’t know whether to be relieved that she didn’t accuse me of lying about helping Simon that night, or if she just thought I was lying again and decided to give up. Either way, I have a feeling I won’t be hearing from her for a long time, if ever.
Giving up on work for tonight, I decide to head home and lick my wounds all over again. It won’t be the first time Devyn Rion cut me deeply.
Thankfully, Sawyer and Wes and I are leaving for Orange Beach in the morning, so I can get away and get her out of my head for a few days. There’s nothing like salt water and an ocean breeze to exorcise your demons and get your head right again. Waking up at dawn for a sunrise run. Finding that little hole-in-the-wall restaurant and soothing the soul with fresh grilled shrimp. Getting out on the open water and staring out at the infinite horizon, reminding me that my problems are insignificant in the scope of all things.
Not failing to mention the comradery with a couple of knuckleheads who can make me laugh without even trying very hard.
I’m looking forward to the next three days. And I’m looking forward to coming back with a renewed sense of drive in my career and some peace in my life.
Not that I have high expectations for this trip or anything.
Right.
I get home and set to work, tossing everything I’ll need in a duffel bag. I won’t need much for a three day trip, but I try to pack several different kinds of clothes. You just never know what we’ll get ourselves into. We have a day planned for fishing already, and I already know I want to go out to Cosmo’s for their melt-in-your-mouth crab cakes with yellow pepper aioli and citrus grilled shrimp. I’ve also set something up for Sawyer at The Wharf and his favorite local band. But aside from that, we’re pretty much open to whatever.
Even though I do my best to keep myself busy, I still can’t get the bullshit with Devyn off my mind. If she hadn’t called me today, I think I’d be in much better shape tonight. But as it stands, I’m pissed. I’m annoyed. I’m hurt. She’s been back in my life for such a short time, and she still has the ability to get right under my skin and bury in deep, just like she always has.
Needing to blow off some steam, I change clothes and quickly find myself down the dark road. I push myself to the brink of exhaustion, teetering at the edge of my breaking point, so all I can focus on is getting oxygen to my bloodstream and keeping my muscles pumping. The point of being on the verge of collapse is my only escape, my only freedom from drowning in my own self-pity. My voracious mind is tamed once again. The beast has submitted to me and scurried deep into the depths again.
Until I turn the corner at the end of the block and see Kyler’s car in my drive. She’s watching me approach.
I slow at the end of my driveway, using my shirt to wipe the sweat stinging my eyes. “I don’t have time…for your shit, Kyler,” I gasp between gulps of air. “Not tonight. Not ever.”
Passing her, I untie the drawstring on my shorts and slip off the key, sliding it into the lock as quickly as I can.
“Wait, Dalton. I need to talk to you,” she pleads. Her cool hand is at my elbow, tugging me back. “I don’t even want to come inside. Just let me say what I came to say.”
I look down at my watch. “You have two minutes before I walk in that door. When I do, I never want to see you here or at my office again. Understood?”
She nods. Her crystal blue eyes are wide and teary.
Oh, please. I’m not buying it. “You’re wasting time. I suggest you talk fast.”
“Dalton, I…” She sighs. “I’m sorry.”
“About?”
“You know. Everything. I know I haven’t handled things between us very well, but I just need you to know how sorry I am. I’ve behaved terribly and really immature. I swear I’m not normally like this, and I can’t blame you for liking Devyn. Everyone does. She has a way of getting people caught in her web and before you know what’s happened, she’s eaten you alive. I just can’t believe she did it to someone I’m dating. That’s a new low, even for her. She’s probably just trying to take a jab at Carter to get back at him, but I can’t forgive her for trying to steal you right out from under me, her own sister.”
Ignoring so many points I’d rather touch on, I sit on the edge of the bench and lean forward to rest my elbows on my knees, staring at the loose wood plank on the porch that’s needed fixing for a few weeks now. “Why did you lie, Kyler? You showed her a picture you took of me in the shower—which I had no idea about—and played it off like we had sex that night. And I know you only played her a part of the voicemail I left to make it seem as if I was apologetic for seeing her. Hell, you
even told her it was you that got Simon down from that Ferris wheel. Not that I want the credit, but I just can’t understand the senseless lie. Lies. All of them.”
“I don’t know,” she says with a quick jerk of her shoulders, toeing at the corner of my fraying welcome mat. “I guess I freaked when I saw you kissing her. When I told her all of that, I was in full-scale panic mode. I didn’t want to lose you, especially to her, and I also wanted her to feel sting that I’d just felt when I saw you two together. I know it was wrong, and I know it painted you in a bad light, but I didn’t know what else to do. And I had to tell her that I got Simon down that night to redeem myself for forgetting his inhaler. I didn’t think you’d care. I mean, I was going to climb up there had you not shown up.”
Got her. Yes.
“Kyler, I appreciate you coming by and explaining everything, but the person you really need to talk to is your sister. She needs to know what you’ve been up to.”
Her top lip curls in disgust. “Tell Devyn? That’s never going to happen. I realize you probably never want to see me again, and I fully understand why. But right now, she’d rather cut her own eyes out than to have to see you again. That ship has sailed. And now that she doesn’t trust you, she’ll never believe anything you say. That’s how it has to be. If she finds out what I’ve done, she’ll be beyond pissed at me, and I’ll never get to keep Simon again. Carter pays me a lot of money to keep an eye on them.”
I stand and approach the door again. She’s leaning into the outside of the frame with the beginning of a smile forming on her lips. I know what she thinks is going to happen, but I’m more than happy to burst that bubble. Stopping right in front of her, I grin and slip the key into the lock again.
“Let me get this straight. Your sister’s ex-husband is paying you to feed information to him about her personal life?”
She throws both hands in the air. “What was I supposed to do? He wants to work things out with her, but she won’t even talk to him. He wants to be sure she’s okay. At first, I refused, but when he said he’d pay me…well, my stupid job doesn’t pay all that much, and my parents won’t give me any more money. So I finally agreed. He’s her husband, Dalton. He’s worried about her, and he has a right to know everything she’s doing.”