“Are you, Perri?”
“More than you know, Barrington.” She sniffled. “But I need space from you.”
Barrington rubbed the back of his neck, thinking. “Say I do give you space, Perri. Then what happens next?” He shrugged in defeat. “Where do we go from there, baby? Do you know of a way for us to get back to sharing the same space? Baby, give me a timeframe to work with.”
“How long does it take to heal a broken heart?”
Barrington looked at her dumbfounded.
“And that's what we're dealing with here,” she shrugged, “my broken heart over your unjust decision. That one choice, Barrington, has cost you in a way I know you never meant to have to pay. But that's what this has come to, okay? I don't know of any other way to say it.” Perri took a deep breath. “I know I need to forgive you, Barrington, but right now, I'm just not there yet. I'm so mad at you all I can feel is the hurt of your betrayal.” She shook her head ruefully. “Beyond that, all I can feel is pain; pain that you helped put me through. It doesn't matter it wasn't intentional because your decision to keep Nia out of jail was intentional, and I don't know in all honesty if I can ever forget, let alone forgive that.”
Desperate for any sign of hope, Barrington encouraged, “Then try to remember the times we've shared together, Perri; maybe then, baby, some old memory of our good times will make you care for me again.”
Perri couldn't shield the tears. “I will always care for you, Barrington,” she vowed, swiping tears from her eyes. “I just can't live with you right now.”
“The grief in his voice matched the pain in her eyes. “Then tell me when, Perri. How long do you think I have to suffer before you're finally satisfied?”
Unable to supply him with the answer he was looking for, Perri turned away.
Barrington was determined to push past the hurt he felt watching his wife turn her back to him. Unable to accept they'd reached the end, forcing one foot ahead of the other, he walked around his wife and stood directly in front of her. “Can you please answer that for me, Perri? Please?” At this point he didn't mind begging if that's what it took to bring back the love of his wife.
“You're not being fair, Barrington,” she said, not looking up.
He stroked the back of her hair. “I'm trying to keep my family together, here. I'm sorry if that offends you, baby, but, fair is not an option here. Now, please answer my question. And I want you to look at me when you say it so that I can look into your beautiful chocolate brown eyes—to see for myself—whether you're telling me the truth. Look at me, Perri. Please look at me, baby.”
Her spirit warred inwardly and as much as her flesh did not want to, Perri looked up seeing Barrington in her own personal space. He was too close. Her heart soared to the sky. She pushed it back down, roughly. He will not gain the upper hand.
“I could make a million promises, Barrington, but it still won't change where we are right now, and it isn't right to stay together when we only bring each other pain.”
“It isn't right to break our family up, Perri, no matter what, and just because you think it's the only answer doesn't change the fact that it's wrong.”
They just stared at each other, distant silence stretching out between them, separating them even more.
Perri broke the trance, needing to do something other than stand there, appearing the fool that she felt, so she averted her gaze to the floor, staring at nothing in particular. She knew Barrington was hurting, she felt his hurt; it was the same hurt she was feeling in her own soul. She half hoped and half expected him to make a comment about her fidgeting or something. But to her grave disappointment there was nothing but silence from him.
Taking a chance, on a deep sigh, Perri glanced up at him. He stared on. But this time instead of a gulf that separated them in mere distance, she saw in his beautiful eyes compassion, drawing her in. She had all of his attention, and for a nanoo second, she was tempted to fall in to his arms. Almost. But almost doesn't count, and neither did she yield to her temptation. Still, there was no mistaking the safety she witnessed in his eyes, as honest as they were. Perri felt compelled to say something, but her pride had her mouth dry as cotton in a slave master's field.
“Perri,” Barrington broke the deafening silence. “I'm not gonna say no one will ever love you. It would be a boldfaced lie, because you're a very lovable person.” He paused, seeming to gage how she'd registered his words thus far. “But no one will ever love you like I love you; that much I can safely assure you, sweet Perri.”
He sounded as possessive as ever to her. Though Perri had plenty to say, she stared at him wordlessly.
“Go ahead, Perri. I know you got a thing or two to say.”
Clearing her throat unnecessarily, Perri said, “Love has never been the problem between us, Barrington. Never has it been a lack of it; we've always suffered from too much of it. This time love just isn't enough. I need more. I believe you do, too. Am I wrong?”
Barrington wished he could disagree, but damned if he could.
“No,” she answered for him. “And I can't . . . I won't settle for less than a man who has my back wholeheartedly. Especially,” she raised a weak hand stopping his protest, “when that man is my husband.”
“Perri, I . . .”
“Chose to leave my peace of mind hanging in the balance in order to take that dreadful woman's side; I know, Barrington. I know.”
“You don't know anything, Perri,” he snapped. “At least not what's going on in my heart, but there was a time though . . . . Barrington stopped. He had been going to say there was a time when she could read his heart without words, knew his heart with just a look in his eyes. He could say that because for him it had been the same way with her.
Taking up his pause, Perri picked up the path where he trailed off. “Is love enough to repair what was torn down? Rebuild what we lost?”
“I think it is.”
“I think you're kidding yourself and me.”
“Love is enough, Perri.”
“What dream world are you living in, Barrington?”
“Baby, I don't care how much time passes away, how far apart two people go astray; love doesn't vanish away. It just simply doesn't work that way.”
“Barrington . . .”
Perri, love doesn't let go; love stays and fights. Love isn't just something you do; it's a part of who you are in your heart.”
“Barrington . . .”
“I'm not giving up on you, Perri, you got that? I won't let you bury us alongside your grief.”
Tired of sharing the same space with Barrington and needing her own, Perri crossed to the other side of the room. She stared out at her beautiful pink and white roses. She wondered why her life couldn’t be that sweet as she tried to taper the anger she felt toward her husband. His words were like a slap in her face. Finally turning to face Barrington, her eyes stilled on him emotionless. “I didn't bury us, Barrington. You did when you chose Nia over me. And honestly, you’ve taken me to a place I’m not sure I can come back from.”
Barrington started toward her then. “For the last time, Perri, I did not choose Nia.” He stopped a breath in front of her.
“What would you call it then?”
“I call it sacrifice.”
“Call it what you will. I call it betrayal. In my eyes it can't be overlooked.”
“That's because you're looking through the eyes of hate when you should be looking through the eyes of compassion.
That's it! He couldn't have shattered her heart more if he'd ripped it from her chest, tossed it to the floor, stomping it to smithereens with it full of all the love it still held for him.
“That's just exactly it,” Perri announced, and, again, fought back angry, hurtful tears. “You made your bed, Barrington. And whether hard or soft, you can just waste away in it.” She sashayed past him.
He grabbed her arm, pulling her into his chest. Barrington held Perri as if she'd duck out on him any minute. He couldn't ta
ke that chance. He wouldn't.
“Let me go,” she ordered calmly.
“I'm sorry, Perri, I can't do that not even for you. I love you, Perri.”
“Don't,” was all she could manage.
“Have to; if I don't you'll be gone. I lost you once because pride, but not again. Hear me, Perri? I will not lose you a second tome. I won't! So love is going to have to be enough,” he announced, “because I love you too much to lose you for even a second.”
Barrington's head lowered, his mouth covered Perri’s, devouring the sweet honey inside, taking possession of her tongue, pulling it inside his own mouth, his way of inviting her to take all she wanted from him. Whatever she wanted, he'd give her, save a life that didn't include him in it.
All the magnetism Barrington was capable of exerting, he transferred to Perri, and every stitch of her skin tingled. Against her own wishes, Perri gave in to the love she had for Barrington and she allowed her husband to make love to her, returning every bit of passion, fire and desire as he ignited within her.
Chapter Thirty
Three Weeks Later
“You're here bright and early again, boss lady?” Tina asked coming into the office.
Momentarily glancing up from her sketch pad, Perri smiled at her assistant. “Yes, Tina. Where else would I be? Especially since our showing is one week away.”
“You're still going on with that as scheduled?” Tina had hoped she'd postpone it until all this mess with Nia was worked out. Not because she was too worried about her ex friend Nia, but because she was genuinely concerned about her newfound friendship with Perri. And as her friend, Tina didn't like seeing Perri in pain because of Nia's ridiculous schemes and evil plans.
“Of course, Tina, this is a very important showing. It means a profitable future for Perri's Boutique and, with the residual monies, I'll be able to pay you a higher salary to run things for me, so that I can spend more time with Imani and soon,” she placed her right hand on her belly, “my new baby boy, too.” Perri nodded and said, “So, yes, the fashion show must go on, Tina.”
“I wish I were that strong, Perri. Your courage is amazing.”
“I disagree. Not about my courage, but about your strength. Tina, you are stronger than you think; you proved that by coming to us and telling us of Nia's plan.”
“But I was way too late in coming forward.”
“Point is you could have kept quiet, not let on you knew the story behind the certifiable woman.”
They both laughed like crazy at the thought.
“But you came to us, and even though Barrington was less than grateful, I know he respects the fact that you did come forward.” Perri's tone became that of a concerned mother. “I know you considered Nia your friend, Tina, so I understand how difficult this has to be for you.”
“You hit the nail on the head, Perri. I was Nia's friend, but she sure wasn't mine.” A warm smile graced Tina's lips. “And because you invited me into your circle of family and friends, I now know for myself what loyalty means. I appreciate you taking a chance on an unknown, wannabe designer like me.”
Perri chuckled. “You're very welcome, Tina. But you say that like you think I am notoriously known in the fashion industry now. But, to use your words, I'm still just a wannabe designer with a lot of high hopes and dreams.” She laughed. “I'm just hoping that together, Tina, you and I can help each other achieve our hopes and dreams.
“I hope so, too, Perri, and, I'm looking forward to trying.”
“Here, here,” Hunter rang out cheerfully.
“Amen, amen, and amen,” Tyler was saying at the same time.
Perri and Tina shared a curious look.
“What are you two doing here?” Perri asked, laughing.
“Well, since our very dear and just as stubborn sister wouldn't come to us, we decided to come hang out with you at your place of living—I mean business.”
“Very funny, Hunter,” Perri said, shaking her head.
“And she's very right, Perri,” Journey was saying as she entered the boutique.
Smiling, Perri shook her head as Tina laughed. “You too, Jern?”
“Me, too,” Journey confirmed. “Look, honey, you need to stop hiding out at this boutique of yours, as exquisite as it is, and go home to your husband; put that man out of his misery so that I don't have to rudely push him out of the already little time that Crush and I have to spend together.”
They all laughed.
“So you have your own motives for wanting me and my hubby back together.”
“You're darn straight. My first motive is because you two belong together. My second motive, because your family deserves to be happy. My third motive, because you don't need to let that heifer Nia win. My fourth motive, and the most important, is because I need my time with my man.” Journey doubled over laughing.
“Girl, you are not right.” Perri looked at her older sister. “And you, Hunter?”
“See, now, I was trying to keep my mouth closed. But since you asked, who am I not to insert my two cents?” Hunter chuckled. “Seriously, Perri, I agree with everything Journey said.”
“And, because I know there’s more?” Perri said.
Hunter looked at Journey. “And the part about her and Crush needing time together, too.” She chuckled and winked.
“That's it?” Perri asked incredulous.
Hunter looked at her sister. “That's it.”
Looking at her little sister, Perri questioned, “What about you, Tyler?”
“Perri, you know I love you and I support you no matter what.”
“But?”
“You're dead wrong for walking out on your marriage.” Tyler frowned. “It's been four weeks, girl; time to go home and put your family together again. Besides that, Perri, if you're not gonna take pity on Journey and Crush at least have some for me and Kane.”
Perri crinkled an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, when Barrington's not tagging along with Crush and Journey, he's with me and Kane. You know I love my brother and Kane loves his cousin like a brother, but we need some us time, you know.”
“And what am I supposed to do about it?”
“Spend some time with him, Perri. God, when he comes to get Imani, invite him to spend time with her there, better yet, offer to go somewhere with them.” Tyler shrugged. “I don't know, Perri. I just know that both Kane and I are too nice to tell him we don't want him around every time we spend time together.”
“I don't know why not, you certainly have no problem telling me.” Perri then addressed her assistant. “I suppose you have an opinion too, Tina?”
“I do, boss lady.” Tina breathed deeply. “I have to join forces with my girls over there. All of them are right, Perri. Barrington needs you, and honestly, you need him, too. I've never seen a love so strong as what you two share.”
“First of all ladies, let me just say, every one of y’all need to stop hating on my husband.”
They all laughed at Perri because it was evident to each one of them that she still had her man’s back even if she temporarily turned her back on him.
“No, don’t laugh at me,” Perri said, “I’m serious. Second of all, I heard every word y'all had to say. But I have to do things my way and in my own time. Thanks for the concern, though.” She put away her designs and grabbed her pursed. “Let's go eat ladies, I'm starved,” she said and walked out before they could say more.
Chapter Thirty-One
Two Months Later
Barrington and Perri sat across from each other at the conference table, her looking at the table, staring at nothing in particular, and him looking at her, staring what he'd hoped to be some sense into her. Each listened and tried not to hear the comments being shifted between their two lawyers while they each went back and forth on the terms of the final separation papers.
“You cannot make my client spend time with your client when they are separated in every sense of the word,” said David Hassel,
attorney for Perri.
“And your client cannot exclude my client from all the particulars concerning her pregnancy since she is carrying his child,” Tommy Lee, attorney for Barrington, said just as forcibly.
“She is not trying to do that. All Perri is trying to do, Tom, is regain some semblance of the life that, up until the return of Nia Eusebio, she had come to know and love. I don't think it's too much to ask of your client not to insist on crowding her with his obviously unwanted presence, other than to pick up and return their shared daughter, Imani.”
Tommy rubbed his hand down his face; taking off his glasses, he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Dave, all I'm saying is that my client has equal rights where the management of the children, living and otherwise, that he and Perri share. So what's so unreasonable about him wanting to be in on every doctor visit?”
“Do you mean, other than the fact that Perri can't always schedule her appointments around the times that are convenient for your client?”
“Enough. Okay?” Perri spoke up, rubbing her temples, feeling a mild migraine coming on.
Barrington leaned forward, concern laced in his question, “Perri, you all right?”
“No, I'm not all right, Barrington.” Perri looked at him. “None of this is right, but here we are, and we've got to find a way to come to some amicable terms and adhere to them.” She placed her head in her left hand to keep from wincing.
“Baby, I know that move. You've got a headache, Barrington accused.
“I'm fine, Barrington,” she lied. “Or at least I'm trying to be.” She shook her head. “I will be fine.”
“So long as I do what you want, right?”
“Barrington—”
“Perri, I'm going to be present for the birth of my baby, period.”
Perri stared at him blankly. “I expect you to be in the delivery room with me, Barrington. Frankly, I'm hurt you'd think otherwise. But then again, you just keep on surprising me, don't you?” She raised an impatient hand, “Never mind. I'm not gonna do this.” Her eyes pleaded with his. “Let's just both get each other through this extremely emotional ordeal. Just sign the papers, Barrington. Please?” She watched as an array of emotions displayed across his handsome face, marring his beautifully chiseled features. She watched him work his Adam’s apple as he inwardly debated what his next move would be. And she could almost tell when he'd made up his mind. Perri breathed a sigh of relief because she knew that Barrington was going to place her needs ahead of his own regardless of how difficult it would be for him to do it. She was grateful.
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