“So, you’re in good shape. Here, it’s the only thing that they talk about.”
“I went to several galleries this week. They all turned me down. All my life, I was told that I was a universal painter and suddenly, I found out that the world contradicts my family.”
“I’m proud of you.” Eyal ignored the failure. “Don’t give up. It’s not easy to market and achieve social recognition. But, if you keep thinking about it, it will be difficult to market anything. In any business, you should fight for its existence. Keep going to the galleries. Don’t be disappointed. You know how to paint, nothing to argue about. Now you need to sharpen your negotiation skills.”
“Thank you, Eyal.”
In the evening the next day, Sherry puts Ofek in his room to sleep and went to sleep in her room. Suddenly, she heard a deafening alarm from outside. “Is this real?” She was frightened. She hurried towards Ofek’s room and tried so hard to lift him up into her arms and to run with him to the ‘mamad.’ Despite the instructions, she put the hood first over Ofek’s face and only then did she put on her mask. She kept Ofek closest to her and immediately she heard two deafening explosions, one after the other, really close to her. She had to look around to make sure that the ceiling didn’t fall on her. Ofek, who was wrapped with a hood, burst into tears, and she followed.
Eyal called immediately after the ‘all clear’ signal. She could barely hold back tears.
“How do you feel?”
“Terrible, it was scary.”
“I’m sorry I’m not with you.”
“I was sure this wouldn’t happen.”
“Everybody was expecting it. How is Ofek?”
She looked at her son. “He’s fine. I’m sorry that I’m crying, and I made you worry. You have no idea how hard it was to put him in this scary thing.”
“Maybe go to Eilat. It’s going to get worse,” Eyal warned her. “Maybe.”
Eyal was right. The days that followed were even worse. She found herself locked at home with Ofek, wrapped up with terrible fear. The only link to the outside world were the phone calls from her aunt, Hannah, who discovered her worries from a distance.
One month later, in February of 1991, Operation Desert Storm was over. Saddam Hussein ceased attacks on Israel.
25
Sherry’s home phone rang and Ofek picked up the phone. He always answered the phone, hoping that the caller was his father. “Who is this?”
“Who is this?” Ofek asked again. “I can’t hear. It’s noisy.”
There was silence from the part of Ofek, and after a while, he hung up the phone.
“Who was that?” Sherry asked.
“I do not know.”
The phone rang again, and Ofek got up to answer.
“See if it’s Dad, because if there is a noise, maybe it’s him, so wait for a bit before you close the phone.”
“It’s not Dad, it was a woman.”
He answered the phone and turned to Sherry, a little angry. “Mommy, I do not understand.”
“Bring me the phone ... Hello?”
Sherry heard the distant rustle. Someone was talking to her in Farsi. Her heart pounded, hope with fear. “Is that you Tamar?” Sherry asked in Farsi, with disbelief.
Within the rustle, Tamar was heard. “Yes, it’s me...” Noises were heard again. Sherry sat on the sofa. Her body was trembling. “Now, I know that I got to the right place, and I’m talking to Sherry because you’re the only one who calls me Tamar. Now, my name is Zahara.”
Tears choked Sherry and she could barely answer. “Yes, I remember from the letter you gave to Amir, but there is no way I will ever call you Zahara. For me, you will always be Tamar, all my life. Where are you?” she asked. A glimmer of hope filled her. Maybe, somehow, they would see each other.
Tamar’s voice trailed off and Sherry knew that she was crying with excitement, like her.
“I was very worried about you during the war, but I couldn’t call you from Iran. I’m very glad that the war is over.”
Sherry was happy to know that her sister was worried about her and that she remained her sister even with the length of time and place. “I’m glad it’s over, it was really hard and scary,” Sherry said. “Suddenly, in the middle of the day, there were alarms and a few seconds after, deafening sounds of boom were heard. I didn’t even have time to run to the shelter, and I also doubted whether it could protect me in the event of chemical weapons. Where are you, Tamar? Can we meet?”
“Absolutely. That’s the reason I called you. I’m in Egypt for a honeymoon,” Tamar replied, revealing the huge gap that time created between them. “I’m sorry to inform you about the visit at a short notice, but unfortunately, I couldn’t call you from Iran,” Tamar continued.
Sherry’s tears of excitement turned into tears of joy. Tamar waited until Sherry calmed down.
“In three days we will be at Hilton Taba and will stay there for two days. It’s close to you. Do you want to get there?”
Sherry slowly released from shock, and the voice that was filled with uncertainty turned optimistic and happy. “If I can get there? Of course I’ll be there, don’t doubt about it. I also want to meet your husband. He must be special if you love him.”
“It’s Amir, and you know that there’s no better than him.”
Sherry was speechless.
“Hello, are you with me?” Tamar asked.
“Yes, yes, I’m with you,” Sherry stammered. The air was running out of her lungs.
“I thought you’d be happy to hear that I married him.”
“Yes, I’m happy.” So much effort was required from her to say those words.
“And you, Sherry, are you married?”
“Yes, and I have a four-year-old boy, the one who answered the phone.”
“Do you mean I have a nephew?” Tamar asked with excitement, and Sherry’s vision that Ofek could be her sister’s stepson reappeared. The thought sent a shiver down Sherry’s spine.
“Is there something that he likes in particular?” Tamar asked.
“It’s the usual stuff that kids his age love, especially Legos.”
There was silence and followed by the bursting of the suffocating voice of Tamar. “You don’t know how happy I was when I received the family portrait and your letter. I realized that I am not alone in the world. I terribly missed you for years and was sometimes mad at you for leaving.”
Sherry felt wetness in her eyes. “I believe you,” she choked. “We’ll meet in Egypt, and we’ll talk. We have so much to catch up on.” She hung up with so much excitement.
“Come on, Ofek, we’re going to Ronit.”
Ofek looked at the Legos on the floor. “But I have not finished yet.”
“You have a lot of time. Dad told you to do it for two weeks.”
“How many is two weeks?”
Sherry closed her eyes impatiently. “It’s a long time.” She saw Ofek taking the calendar off the wall. “Show me how many days it is.” This caused her to break a smile. When she finished showing him the counting of days, he marked the date of Eyal’s return with a pen and explained to his mother that he needed five more minutes to finish what he had planned. Sherry sat down on the floor next to him, watching his tiny fingers that were busy connecting the parts with great skill. She could have sworn that this was like Eyal’s exact movement while chopping the vegetables on the day she first discovered his hands. When he finished, he stood up willingly.
“It’s very beautiful. You are very talented.” Sherry gave a compliment that made him look back at his creation and blow a big smile.
His face remained brilliant until they reached the house of Ronit. There, he was showered with kisses. “I need to fill up the things you failed to do,” Ronit said, while looking at Sherry with contempt.
“Tamar called.”
“Tamar, who?”
“My sister.”
Ronit’s jaw dropped. “I don’t believe it. What made her call you after all these
years?”
“She got married and planned to have her honeymoon in Egypt in order to spend two days with me at Hilton Taba,” Sherry distorted the reality for a bit. “You don’t know how much I miss her. I want to hug her so badly, to touch her.”
“Then, why do you look troubled with such good news like this?”
“Really? Do I look troubled?” Sherry raised her eyebrows. “Maybe I’m worried that Eyal will ask me to take Ofek with me.”
“Why won’t you take him, really? Your sister must be so happy to see her nephew.”
“It is not convenient.”
Ronit hung a look of despair in her. “Well, pray that Eyal will get excited for the get-together. Your visit to Egypt depends on him.”
“It’s not up to Eyal. Nothing can prevent me from seeing my sister.”
“He won’t prevent you. He will just ask you to take Ofek with you. He’s such a good boy, he won’t bother you.” Ronit sent Ofek a loving gaze.
“I’m going alone,” Sherry said decisively. “I only have two days to be with her, and I want to spend them with her. I’m sure that this time, Eyal will agree with me.”
But the hope did not materialize. That same day, Eyal called. After a few minutes of excitement and his sincere support, she found herself in a stormy argument again over whether or not to take Ofek with her.
“Please Eyal, at the end you’ll regret it.”
“Regret what? That I’m asking you to take your son with you?”
“Eyal, enough. I am always with him, 24 hours a day. Just as you know, I have no husband who comes home in the evening to allow me to be with my friends, or to simply have some fun.”
“You should have chosen another husband who could replace you when you are in your aerial missions and until you find one like that I am all you have. You take him with you, or you don’t go.”
“You’re not at home at all, but you decide everything that’s happening here. What rights do I have anyway?”
“You have the right to remain silent,” he muttered, not even joking.
“Maybe it’s better not to go at all.”
“It’s your choice. I just think that it’s time for you to develop your motherhood career.”
She hung up the phone. She was resentful of Eyal, who implied the heartwarming news and her excitement to meet her sister as a blatant attempt to run away from Ofek.
At 11:00 at night, when she was already falling asleep, the phone rang. “I think I was not sensitive enough,” he said in a soft and tender voice. “Sometimes things happen here that affect my reaction... I’d like to hear more details about the conversation that you had with your sister.”
Sherry rose up to a sitting position and told him about the conversation. When she finished, he sounded really happy about the connection that was established with her sister. For a moment, Sherry thought that he was also a little excited.
The next day, Sherry’s mood was elevated and full of energy. She decided to visit other galleries. This time she decided to go to Dizengoff Street. A change of place is a change of luck. The first gallery rejected her. She visited two other galleries where the owners just looked at her paintings, but nothing beyond that. She thought of going home again, but the thought of the close meeting with her sister filled her with the spirit to continue and try her luck in other galleries. She entered into another gallery. The gallery owner was busy with a pair of customers, but he turned to her and asked if she needed help.
“Yes, my name is Sherry. I’ve got three paintings. I think you will love them.” She no longer asked if he would want to see them, but took the painting, ‘The Tin Soldier,’ from her bag and lifted it up. “Just look at it,” she pressured lightly.
“I’m busy!” he said in a haughty voice.
She saw the man from the couple glance at her and then pass his eyes to the painting that she lifted up to the gallery owner. He approached her. “Can I see it?” he asked in English.
“Definitely.” She put the painting on the table and he looked at it closely. He seemed like a nice man, a man in his sixties, tall and thin, with thick gray hair and a tanned face.
“How much do you want for this painting?” he asked. His eyes were still on the painting.
Sherry had no idea how much she would demand for the painting. Her eyes were stuck on the price of the painting that was close to her. “$1,200.”
The woman with him approached and slightly lifted her eyeglasses. She looked at the painting for a while, then back up at Sherry. “You paint so well. It’s special. Do you have more paintings?”
Sherry took out the remaining two and the woman stared for a long time at the painting, ‘Woman in the Port.’
“I love this painting.”
Sherry smiled inside her heart.
“How much do you want for it?” she asked.
“It’s more expensive than the others, but I’ll give it to you at the same price,” Sherry said with a serious face.
“So, we’ll also take it,” the woman said.
They gave her two thousand, five hundred dollars; a hundred dollars more than what she asked for.
Sherry took the green paper bills from them. When she left home earlier, she intended to sell each painting for $200. She definitely surprised herself.
“By the way, my name is Ivona and this is my husband, Wim.” She handed Sherry a business card. “Take our card, and if you are in Holland, visit our gallery.”
“Certainly, I’ll come to visit.” They shook hands and Sherry handed them her folders so they could take the paintings with them.
They left the gallery and she remained with the gallery owner. She handed him $300. “That’s your share.”
He looked at her, stunned by the gesture. She lifted up the painting that was left in her hands. “Would you want me to leave it here?” She knew that after the sale she made and her gesture towards him, he wouldn’t refuse.
“Yes, drop by tomorrow and bring a few paintings with you. I’ll choose some from them, and if it goes well, we might make a small exhibit here for you.”
Sherry went back to the gallery with a few paintings. “You really paint so beautifully. I don’t even know how to describe your paintings. Maybe this can be called a new flow,” he smiled.
“Thanks for the compliment.”
Sherry left the gallery happy.
26
Sherry sat in her room at the hotel. One floor up was her sister’s and Amir’s room, and she tried to set her mind to the inevitable encounter with him. Will she talk to him as if nothing happened just for the sake of her sister, or will she just ignore him? It will be a meeting with her sister, but it will also be an encounter with her rapist, and perhaps the biological father of her son.
Half an hour after arriving at the hotel, her sister called. “I know that you just entered your room, but I have no time to wait, I can’t wait to meet you. Can I come to your room?”
Sherry was filled with feelings of love for Tamar. However, her meeting with her sister would also beget her encounter with Amir. She was trembling all over, just like that same day five years ago, when she was writhed in bed in Istanbul. “We’ll meet in the lobby in five minutes,” Sherry suggested. She preferred the first meeting with Amir and with her sister in a crowded place than an intimate meeting in one room.
“Are you crazy? Meeting in the lobby after eleven years? I’m coming to you now!”
Sherry heard a gentle knock at the door. She took a deep breath, and decided to behave towards Amir, for the sake of Tamar, as if nothing happened five years ago.
She opened the door. In the doorstep was a woman standing with a veil over her face. She stepped into the room, took off her veil and revealed her beautiful face. Tamar looked exactly like Sherry remembered. She brought her sister instinctively close to her, as if they were in the midst of a hug eleven years ago. “Where is Amir?” she asked with relief that was mixed with apprehension, while hugging her sister and hiding her eyes and the feelin
gs of the heart.
“He said that we should be alone; we have lots of things to talk about.”
“That’s right,” Sherry said, and released herself from her sister.
“Come sit down. Tell me what you have been doing. Did you finish school?”
“Of course, sciences, major in math. I am now studying for my master’s degree.”
“Oh, how proud I am of you! Our father always said that you were the genius in the family.”
“Well, he was biased. He judged me based on the criterion of checkers,” Tamar laughed. “What about you? Did you finish school?”
“Art, and speaking of art, I brought you something.”
“I hope it’s a painting. Amir’s father can’t stop talking about your paintings.”
Sherry took out Ofek’s drawing. “Ofek drew this for his only aunt.”
Tamar took the picture from her hands and intently looked at it. “He draws better than you.”
Sherry smiled.
“I’ll frame this drawing from my nephew. I am so mad at you that you didn’t bring him. You left him behind just as you left me. I was sure that you’d bring him with you. I didn’t even think that there was a need to ask you.” Tamar took a big box of Legos from a huge plastic bag. “I hope he’ll like it.”
Sherry took the box from her hands. “This is very big, it must have cost you a lot of money,” Sherry said.
“There is nothing too expensive for my nephew.” Tamar took down the cover of her head. “It’s so hot.”
Sherry held the tips of her sister’s hair and ran her fingers in them again and again just as she loved to do before. “You really have long hair.”
“Amir said that I look like Esther. Mom also said that to me once.”
Sherry was silent. Although she had a strong desire to talk about her sister Esther, mentioning her name still aroused memories that Sherry preferred to put aside.
“Is it hard for you to talk about her?” Tamar asked and Sherry nodded.
“Let’s talk a bit about you. How were you able to get out from Iran?”
Tamar smiled. “Amir is an important character in the army, and this is one of the privileges that he receives. When we got married, they allowed us to have our honeymoon abroad. We chose Egypt so I could see you.”
Colors of the Shadow Page 20