by Dan Frey
Ask us anything!
FortniteFuckery: Why do you call your tech a time machine? Based on the link, it’s not exactly gonna take me to any different time, it’s just gonna let me see how boring and shitty the world will be next year…
Adh_Ball: We call it a Time Machine because Quantum Computing Device for Trans-Temporal Data Transmission didn’t have quite the same ring to it. QCDTTDT is a hell of an acronym.
BenBoyceAMA: Bro it’s a machine that lets you see through time! Maybe try it out before you get all ungrateful-whiner about it. This isn’t the latest Marvel trailer, it’s a device that’s legit gonna change the world.
Hiphophippocampus: Catapult or Trebuchet?
Adh_Ball: Trebuchet is the superior siege weapon, of course.
BenBoyceAMA: Uhhhh what kind of question is that?
BernieFlandersLeft: What’s a day in the life for you guys? How much do you use the machine?
BenBoyceAMA: We use it all the time! You get up and check the news from today, I check the news one year from now. You read your email, me too, but I also read the email I’m sending and receiving 365 days in the future. It’s crazy and exciting and gives you an edge on everybody.
Adh_Ball: That said, we also have strict protocols about how we are using the technology. It’s important to be thoughtful, ethical, and self-policing in our scope.
Adh_Ball: But also…it is pretty f-ing cool.
Power4Words: Is the future you “see” with your computer the guaranteed only real one?
BenBoyceAMA: Yes indeed. The device is 100% accurate, as it is talking DIRECTLY to itself in the future. No margin of error!
Power4Words: Just to be clear, this means that free will doesn’t exist. Bc whatever you see, it means you can’t change it.
BenBoyceAMA: No no no, bro, it means you get to see HOW you will end up USING your free will. It’s a tricky business but it’s exciting!
Power4Words: Is it just me or is that not what free will means at all?
Adh_Ball: Ben and I see this one differently. I think free will is a fairy tale. It’s a pretty well-settled scientific question actually. Read Yuval Noah Harari or Benjamin Libet. Some people still argue about it bc it feels like they have free will, but within a year of releasing our product, we’ll clear it up pretty solidly.
RunLowlifeRun: Holy shit are they really saying their product will destroy free will?
DicktionaryDude: Are you guys gonna stay friends in the future?
BenBoyceAMA: Yeah bro, we’re day 1’s, go back 10 years, ride or die.
Adh_Ball: As long as Ben doesn’t fire me.
PurrpullDrank: Will PrequelMemes still be a thing in a year?
Adh_Ball: As long as they still have the high ground.
BenBoyceAMA: This some deep-cut nerdery?
Dedditordie: Can you show us a picture from the future?
BenBoyceAMA: We could but we’d have to kill you;-)
Adh_Ball: Serious answer—we have an intense protocol for keeping our data under lock. We’re still developing this technology and figuring out the implications. We guarantee that it works and won’t launch a product until it’s ready, but we’re wary of the effects of feeding information from the future into the public sphere until we’ve diligently evaluated the consequences.
PearlPopper: Im gonna go ahead and recommend you answer this one. Based on how this AMA is going you’re gonna come off looking pretty weak-sauce if you don’t share something decent.
RatMeetCage: either too pussy or too full of shit
BenBoyceAMA: (Removed)
TheCarltonDancer: Did anyone see the pic before he deleted it?
DeuceTakerTwo: It was up for like 2 mins but I screenshotted it. Anybody PM me and I’ll get it to you. EDIT: I’m now getting legal threats from the Communications girl if I continue to share the pic. Obviously not stopping!
PerfectPersimmons: Pic is Boyce at some PR event for launch of the new company offices. Standing on a big stage smiling like a dummy. The Communications girl is there too. And Elon Musk, lookin all chummy with them.
RobbinRobinHood: Total Photoshop job.
Topathemorningtoya: I dunno- can anyone find where they sourced the pic of Elon? Reverse-image-search didn’t turn up shit. Looks pretty legit to me.
Blazeitupnow: Hey all compare/contrast their AMA announcement photo with the one they leaked. Boyce got a wedding ring first one, no ring in the “future” one.
MKUltraDude: This is exactly the type of Easter Egg hunt they’re tryna get us on.
inigomontoyahere: What a disaster for these idiots
TEXT MESSAGE EXCHANGE
LEILA KEENER-BOYCE
April 19, 2021 4:11 PM
Wow, it looks like you got a bright future with your buds Elon and Carrie from Communications. Not me though, huh?
Helllooooo?
BEN BOYCE
Hey babe, sorry, been crazy here
Look those people are colleagues in the future
I mean Carrie is a colleague already
And hey—you always said you wanted to meet Elon…
Do you think I’m gonna skip over you not wearing a ring?
I dunno, maybe I’m just not wearing it
Maybe I go to the gym that day and forget to put it back on
Wouldn’t be the first time.
I’m forgetful! I suck! Absent minded.
I gotta get back to work.
We’ll talk about this later.
TEXT MESSAGE EXCHANGE
BEN BOYCE
April 19, 2021 4:19 PM
Dude this is so fucked
I’m like the first guy in history getting in trouble for cheating that hasn’t even happened.
ADHVAN CHAUDRY
A: that’s not true, this isn’t even the first time it’s happened to YOU.
I know how Lei gets.
Haha fair enough.
And B: hasn’t even happened?
You sure?
Dude, no.
I’m just saying…
I know you and Carrie have been out together a bunch.
Yeah, working our asses off.
Genital contact level: 0
No emotional cheating? No flirting?
Lay off Dr. Phil.
It’s not my fault if she’s into me.
Now I’m paying for some shit I haven’t even done yet.
Yet?
Resigned to your adultery already?
No. You know what I mean.
Look, I don’t want to rub it in, but…
None of this would have happened if you hadn’t put the picture up
We have protocols on this for a reason
Fuuuuuuuuck Yoooooouuuuu
TEXT MESSAGE EXCHANGE
LEILA KEENER-BOYCE
April 19, 2021 4:22 PM
Hey A.
What do you think about all that?
ADHVAN CHAUDRY
I think your husband has remarkably thin skin
And jeopardized our whole business bc of some troll
You know what I mean. The ring thing, and the possibility of what might happen. Am I overreacting here?
Honestly, I’m not sure.
It sort of depends on a fundamental question about free will and how the universe works.
Right. So either, Option 1: My marriage might be fine, and we have agency over our choices. Or Option 2: My marriage is fucked, and free will is an illusion, and nothing we decide matters.
Call me naïve, but if I got a choice here, I’m gonna go with #1.
Fair enough.
But if that’s the case, our technology doesn’t really do anything.
Maybe it helps people avert disaster. Helps people make better choices.
Maybe.
Or maybe quite the opposite.
TEXT MESSAGE EXCHANGE (CONT’D)
BEN BOYCE
Fuuuuuuuuck Yoooooouuuuu
April 19, 2021 4:28 PM
ADHVAN CHAUDRY
Hey man.
One more thing about the photo.
Aside from all the crap about your ring.
Notice anything else missing?
Uhhh like another inch of my hair?
Is that what you meant?
Guessing not.
What’d you have in mind?
Nothing.
You don’t mean you, do you?
You tell me.
Bro it’s a public event.
You’ve been crystal goddamn clear
You don’t want anything to do with any of that noise.
Seems surprising.
Look, we saw your bio on the future website
CTO and Co-Founder.
You’re not goin anywhere till you want to.
You’re the top secret behind-the-scenes code ninja!
Besides, you think my mom knows who Steve Wozniak is?
No way.
And guarantee that Woz likes it that way.
Yeah.
Totally.
I dunno what I’m worried about.
Don’t let your brain get the best of you.
Word.
Listen Carrie’s got a good idea I think for our next step.
But it’s even more public, not less.
If we’re gonna make it work, I need you behind me all the way.
Ride or die.
You up for it?
Of course.
I’m the genie, you make the wishes.
The GENIUS GENIE!
This is gonna be good…
TRANSCRIPT OF TED TALK—DELIVERED APRIL 24, 2021
BEN BOYCE—“THE FUTURE IS YOURS”
0:00
When I was a kid, I used to love thinking about the future. About going to the moon, robots cleaning my room, living forever. But when I was twelve years old, my mom got cancer. And all of a sudden, I wasn’t dreaming about the future anymore, I was dreading it. What would the coming year bring? Healing and remission? Or more pain, more metastasis? Every birthday, I wondered if it was the last one I had with my mom. I couldn’t live in the present, much less plan for the future.
00:30
Mom fought hard for five years, in and out of chemo and remission, before she passed away. The year before I started college.
Ever since she got sick, I have been scared to death of the future. Of what the coming year might bring. And like many of us, I’ve immersed myself in work, in an attempt to create some lasting legacy, some deep wealth, some impervious relationship. Some safety and insurance against the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.
00:55
We all live with the uncertainty of not knowing what’s coming. We can never be fully present because we’re so fixated and fearful about what’s next.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. Because I’ve been working together with leading scientific minds to build a technology that lets us see into the future.
01:25
In a nutshell, it’s a computer, the size and shape of a typical desktop machine. Just like the one you already have, in every way except one. This machine can connect to itself, one year in the future. Through the joined principles of quantum computing and quantum entanglement, it’s possible to receive email from your future self and browse websites that don’t exist yet.
01:50
Of course, the proof is in the pudding. And I wouldn’t be standing on the TED stage if I didn’t have something to show for myself. You’re probably wondering, what’s it gonna be? What’s he gonna show us from the future? Stock reports? News stories? Highlights from the Super Bowl, for a season that hasn’t even started yet?
02:20
Well, you came here to see TED Talks—to be the first ones to see what’s new in the world of ideas—so how about a little preview of next year’s TED stage?
VIDEO PLAYS: In which Ben Boyce is visible on the TED stage, in different clothes, with different facial hair.
That is me. Giving a TED Talk. Next year. Ten months from now. Want to hear what I have to say?
02:55
ONSCREEN: Now, when I gave my talk last year, The Future was still in its infancy, and many were struggling to wrap their minds around the possibilities of what it could do. Today, the consensus has come around to acceptance, and many are using our product on a daily basis as they make decisions about every aspect of their lives: where to work, who to marry, how to spend their time, and so much more.
But we have a long way to go if we want to ensure a world where time-travel technology remains stable and beneficial. Which is why educating our users is so important. And that’s why I’m launching a new initiative—
VIDEO ENDS
I know, it’s a tease! But the whole talk is available on our website, along with a selection of other downloads from the future, and links to some of the science validating our methodology. That’s just a peek at the vast wealth of what will be available through your very own personal time machine.
04:25
We live in an age where a small group of companies have nearly complete control over our lives. Technology is intertwining with every facet of human existence, and the means to build it are consolidating into the hands of a few. They all know what’s coming, they’re making it happen, and we’re just checking the news to find out what our lives will look like tomorrow. Google, Facebook, Amazon…they have a monopoly on the future.
05:10
But that ends today. By creating an affordable machine that gives everyone access to their own future, we are leveling the playing field. Now I no longer have to be afraid of the unknown. Of what’s coming next. And as a result, I’m dreaming big again. I hope you’ll join me. Thank you.
APPLAUSE
TWEETS
@HEYBENBOYCE
So excited I can finally share what I’ve been up to! Check out my TED Talk (Link) and learn about the revolution that’s coming! #TheFuture #SeeTheFuture
@TEDCHRIS
Thank you @HeyBenBoyce for one of the most revolutionary talks in TED history! Long live #TheFuture
@RAYKURZWEIL
An unexpected wrinkle in our transition to the singularity. #TheFuture
@ELONMUSK
Revolutionary potential here. The underlying scientific principles are sound, but share your code and design specs if you really want us to get onboard! #TheFuture
@MICHAELPOLLAN
A game-changing new technology that could vastly expand the bounds of human potential. #TheFuture
@NASA
Well worth a watch for anyone who cares about the future of tech! #TheFuture
@KANYEWEST
Did I not tell yall this was comin? #TheFuture
@KARASWISHER
Bold claims here. Anyone else think that two years from now we’ll be deconstructing how he got us all to believe the hype? #TheFuture
@ALGORE
Thank you @HeyBenBoyce for an inspiring vision of change. Finally, a technology that climate-change deniers will be unable to ignore. Imagine what we can do to care for our planet when we have the power to see what’s coming. #TheFuture
@IAMWILL
This vid is fire. My boy @HeyBenBoyce out here showing us all what is UP! Much love,
much support, long live The Future! #TheFuture
@ARIANAGRANDE
can’t even believe wut i’m seeing lol this dude is a straight-up genius #TheFuture
EMAIL
From: Adhvan Chaudry
To: Ben Boyce
B—
Congrats.
You’re officially viral.
—A
TUMBLR BLOG POST—APRIL 25, 2021
THE BLACK HOLE: MUSINGS OF AN ANONYMOUS SCI-FI SUPERFAN
“The Loneliness of the Wookiee”
At the end of A New Hope, our team of plucky adventurers succeeds in saving the galaxy and blowing up the Death Star.
Luke, Han, and Chewie stand upon a dais…
celebrated before a massive crowd…
And Leia presents medals to Han, and Luke, and…
That’s it. Seriously.
No medal for Chewbacca.