by J. L. Salter
"Mom and Dad," he blurted out suddenly. "I think I might be taking a road trip soon…"
His mother looked at him and smiled. "That's nice, dear. While you're traveling, just try to find a wife…"
"No, this has to do with…"
Myles' father interrupted him. "Probably another public television thing, isn't it? Huh?"
"Well, I don't know, actually. Some random stranger gave me a stack of papers today that outline an upcoming apocalypse and some sort of world-menacing evil in… New England…"
Dad looked up from his plate and studied Myles' face, then rose and left the table, without a word. Both Myles and his mother looked up with interest. A minute later his father returned with a small, square box. He handed it to Myles, who studied it with curiosity. Brushing away a layer of dust he studied the smooth finish, and noticed that the side was punctuated with a series of colorful gemstones.
"Your Uncle Abe wanted you to have this someday. Years ago, the old nut made the strangest remark to me. He said that, 'If there ever comes a day that your son wants to embark on a foolish-sounding venture to destroy a world-menacing evil, give him this box. But only at that point.' Truthfully, it's been sitting in my closet beneath some bowling trophies and I haven't given it a thought in years, until you made that remark…"
"Did he say what this was for, Dad?" Myles questioned, but all his father could do was shrug.
"Beats me, boy, but maybe you can make sense of it. You ask me, your conspiracy theory sounds like a bunch of goose-feathers, but whatever. Just try to find a wife while you're out there, to make the stupid trip worth it…" his father teased.
"It would be nice to be a grandmother some day…" his mother mused.
"I'm going to bed," concluded Myles, ignoring both. "But maybe there's something in these papers about this… box…"
In his room, Myles set the box below a green banker's lamp and continued to leaf through the papers, curiously studying for any connection to his mission, and all the while dismissing thoughts of his failed interpersonal relationships, triggered by his parents' daily appeals, directly and indirectly, for him to finally marry and give them grandchildren. As much as he wished otherwise, the fact of the matter was, the girls he dated just weren't interested in a public television director. Quite a few times, while describing his work responsibilities and the fine quality programming that public television had to offer, he would be told that "friendship" would be a better option than an ongoing relationship, and… he shook his head to clear his thoughts to refocus on the meaning of the box. Perhaps a sequence to the colors? When he would shake it, there was a slight rattle, as if the box contained a solid object, but what…?
He pushed aside the mysterious items and fell into a restless slumber.
***
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The following trademarked items appear in Curing the Uncommon Man-Cold. The Author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the following which are mentioned in this work of fiction:
ACE Bandage by the 3M Company
Alka-Seltzer by Bayer AG
Amazon (Amazon.com)
Brillo Pad by Armaly Brands
Cadillac by General Motors Company, LLC
Cap’n Crunch by the Quaker Oats Company, a division of PepsiCo, Inc.
Cheez Whiz by Kraft Foods Group, Inc.
Cocoa Puffs by General Mills, Inc.
Cosmo (Cosmopolitan) by Hearst Magazines, a division of Hearst Corporation
Discovery Channel by Discovery Communications, Inc.
Elmer’s Glue (Elmer’s Glue-All, Elmer’s School Glue) by Elmer’s Products, Inc., a division of Berwind Corporation
Facebook
Franken Berry by General Mills, Inc.
Froot Loops by Kellogg’s Company
Frosted Flakes by Kellogg’s Company
Frosted Mini-Wheats by Kellogg’s Company
Fruity Pebbles by Post Holdings, Inc.
Golden Arches (McDonald’s)
Hardee’s by CKE Restaurants, Inc.
Hershey by the Hershey Company
Jeep Wrangler by Jeep, a marquee of Chrysler Group LLC
Kleenex by Kimberly-Clark Worldwide, Inc.
L.L.Bean by L.L.Bean, Inc.
Lifetime Channel by Hearst Corporation and The Walt Disney Company
Lucky Charms by General Mills, Inc.
M&Ms by Mars, Incorporated
Maxim by Darden Media Group
Mister Potato Head (Mr. Potato Head) by Hasbro, Inc.
Oprah (O, The Oprah Magazine) by Oprah Winfrey and Hearst Corporation
Oreos by Nabisco, a subsidiary of Mondelçz International, Inc.
PayPal by eBay, Inc.
Penney’s (JCPenney) by J.C. Penney Company, Inc.
Penthouse by FriendFinder Networks, Inc.
Playboy Channel (Playboy TV) by the Manwin Group
Q-tips by Unilever
Sears (Sears, Roebuck & Company) by Sears Holdings Corporation
Shoney’s
Snickers by Mars, Incorporated
Sugar Crisp (Golden Crisp) by Post Holdings, Inc.
Super Glue by Super Glue Corporation/Pacer Technology, Inc.
Tasmanian Devil (Looney Tunes) by Warner Bros. Entertainment, Inc., a subsidiary of Time Warner, Inc.
Tractor Supply Company
Trix by General Mills, Inc.
Victoria’s Secret by L Brands, Inc.
Vogue by Condé Nast, a division of Advance Publications, Inc.
δ
Dingbat Publishing
Table of Contents
Curing the Uncommon Man-Cold
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Author’s Note
Acknowledgements
About the Author
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