by Louise Bay
I cleared my throat, trying to get a grip of myself before I did something I’d regret. “We’ll be friends,” I said. But I wanted more.
“Absolutely,” she replied. “You’re my best friend in London.”
Although I knew it was hardly a compliment—she knew almost no one in the city—a warmth gathered in my chest at the thought of being someone important to her. Even if it was temporarily.
Twelve
Hollie
I chewed on my nail as I huddled under the awnings of an office building two doors up from Daniels & Co. I was trying to stay dry and the rain was as relentless here as it was back home.
“You think I should go in?” I asked Autumn for the fiftieth time. I was calling her from my Daniels & Co phone that Dexter had had couriered to me so he could message me.
“I can’t believe you would consider not going in.”
“But there’s no such thing as a free lunch,” I said.
“Tell that to Mom and Dad. They seem to take your money left and right without ever worrying.”
“Taking favors can wind up messy.” I had learned that lesson the hard way.
“You only ever took a favor from anyone once. And it wasn’t your fault that your friend’s boyfriend had aspirations to be a loan shark.”
Even now my stomach churned as I remembered borrowing the deposit for our trailer. My friend offered to lend me the money. I was dumb and naive and didn’t see the catch until I went to repay it and her boyfriend asked for an additional twenty percent. It took me six months to pay it off because he kept making up reasons why I owed him more. To this day, the sting of all that interest paid was a reminder of how easy it would be to follow in my parents’ footsteps—careering from one disaster to another. I had to take control and rely on no one but myself.
“And anyway,” Autumn continued, “this is not a favor. He’s not just handing out money. You’re working for it. You have a job description. And he said he needed more staff.”
“He was lying,” I said. If Dexter had needed more staff, he wouldn’t have waited for me to get fired. There were a million people who would have loved to be interning at Daniels & Co.
“Even if he was, you’re not going to be filing your nails all day. You’re going to work. You’re going to learn. If you don’t take this opportunity, I’ll be furious with you.”
Autumn and I were as close as two sisters could be. We were furious with each other rarely. And when we were, it was usually caused by one of the good-for-nothing guys she was dating. “I’m just trying to protect myself,” I said.
“No, you’re just uncomfortable with good things happening to you—with someone doing something for you—because normally it’s you making sacrifices so other people can be happy. It’s you making sure people have a roof over their heads and their bills are paid. You’re just not used to the shoe being on the other foot.”
I sighed and looked out at the sea of people rushing along the sidewalks, umbrellas askew and shoes squelching. Was I just uncomfortable accepting help? “But we’ve been on a date. We can’t do that again if I’m working for him.”
“Usually, you’re inventing reasons not to go on a second date. Surely you’re relieved to finally have a legitimate reason.”
Darn her, she knew me too well. She’d backed me into a corner—I either had to admit that no second date was a relief and so there was no reason not to take the job, or that I liked this guy. “Well, I didn’t have any reasons not to go on a second date with him. Not until now.”
My sister screeching down the line made me pull the phone away from my ear for a couple of seconds. “Wow. London has all your good luck wrapped into one. You must really like him if you’re saying you’d go on a second date,” she said when she finally calmed down.
I wasn’t sure if it was because he was British or so freaking good looking or the way I felt his goodness in his core, but I did like Dexter. The kissing didn’t hurt either, and the job offer hardly dented those fresh feelings. But I’d have to bury them deep.
“And anyway, who says you can’t date the boss?” Autumn asked.
“It would be a breach of duty or an abuse of power or something.”
“Jesus, you’re only going to be there a few more weeks. Maybe you should abuse your power with him.”
I loved that my sister was so carefree about things but we weren’t the same. I had always been careful. It was who I was. Coming to London was a huge risk. Going on a date with Dexter was a bigger one. I needed to de-risk, focus on what I came to London for in the first place. Life wasn’t full of second chances, but I was getting mine and I wasn’t going to throw it away, not even for another kiss with the best kisser I’d ever known.
“Nope. There’s no way I’m fooling around with my boss. But I am going to take the internship. I came to London for experience and if it’s a question of accepting a helping hand or . . .” I didn’t dare think about the alternative. “Or not getting that experience, then I’d be a fool to—”
“Well, finally. I’m glad you came around to my way of thinking. You need to jump at life’s opportunities.”
I hoped she took her own advice. “How’s Greg?” I asked.
“Oh, he’s a loser,” she said. “You know it. I know it. But the sex is okay so he’ll do until I graduate.”
“Autumn! I can’t believe you just said—”
“And don’t worry, I’m on the pill and I still make sure he wears a condom. The last thing I need is to get pregnant by him.”
Perhaps it was the distance that allowed Autumn to admit the truth, but thank God she was focused on her future as much as I was.
“I thought you really liked Greg?”
“He’s fine for now. I’ve always defended him because you’ve been so anti-him.” I started to object but she shut me down. “Don’t try to deny it. And I understood that you didn’t want him to hold me back, but I wouldn’t let that happen. Especially not now.”
“Not now? What’s happened? Did something happen with Dad?” I’d warned him not to ask Autumn for money but I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist it. Who else would he ask if I wasn’t there?
“No, nothing’s happened with Dad—he’s asked me for money practically every day since you left, but I expected that. I mean seeing you follow your dreams and go to London, even though I know that leaving me was tough—it’s inspiring, Hollie. I knew you were strong and responsible and resilient and all of those good things. But to see you be so driven, so freaking determined to get out of this shit hole—well, I’m not wasting the opportunities that I have either.”
My ribcage lifted in my body as I listened to my sister say everything I’d ever hoped I’d hear from her. “I love you,” I said.
“I love you more. I’m so grateful for everything you’ve done. Now it’s time for you to shift your focus from me to yourself.” I didn’t want to abandon Autumn and it did feel uncomfortable to accept help from Dexter—a virtual stranger—but if Autumn hadn’t accepted help from me, she wouldn’t be about to graduate. If my parents hadn’t accepted my help they’d be—God knows where. I had to work past my discomfort with receiving help, even if I was way more accustomed to giving it. “You’ve sacrificed enough. Go start your job with this new fancy jewelry company and grab yourself a life outside Sunshine, Oregon.”
“Thank you,” I said. I may have paid her college tuition, but having her as my cheerleader was more than enough of a payback.
“I love you,” she replied.
I slipped the phone back into my pocket and headed into Daniels & Co.
I had no complaints about the people I worked with at Sparkle, who had been creative and energetic, but as I sat on my navy velvet chair alongside the rest of the competition team at Daniels & Co, Sparkle seemed a long way away. Daniels & Co people carried themselves slightly differently. Teresa used to high five everyone on the team every morning and my fellow American on the team, Evan, called everyone “winner” regardless of circ
umstance. The people at Daniels & Co were far more subdued. It was almost as if making the finals had been a foregone conclusion. They’d expected to excel, and now they expected to win.
People spoke in hushed tones as they joined us around the huge black conference table, though the seat at the top of the table remained empty. Over text, I’d tried to get Dexter to agree to act as if he didn’t know me. He’d refused to go that far, but agreed to treat me like any colleague. I just hoped I could do the same thing. The problem was I could feel his rough jaw under my fingertips right now, and he hadn’t even entered the room yet.
The subdued chatter settled down as an older lady with hair swept up into an elegant chignon came into the room.
“Good morning, team,” she said, smiling as she set her silver pen on her notepad. “I see we’re all here.” She glanced around the table and her gaze set on me. This must be Primrose, Dexter’s head designer. The one Dexter was going to tell about me. “You must be Hollie.”
“Yes, Hollie Lumen. I’m so happy to be here.”
“Well, we’re delighted to have you on the team. I’m Primrose and I’m the head designer at Daniels & Co.” She beamed at me, but just as I thought she was going to say something else, she turned back to her pad. “So, I know we are all very pleased to have reached the finals of the competition.”
Was Dexter not planning to come to this meeting? I didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed.
“But we can’t celebrate yet,” Primrose continued. “Now is when we want to increase our focus and commitment.”
Had he stayed away to make me feel more comfortable? I needed to focus. On the meeting. On work. I had to stop thinking about Dexter. This was a second chance and I wasn’t going to squander it.
“We want to win this entire thing and bejewel the princess of Finland. We’re not at work so we can say on our CV that we were on the team that finalled. That’s not who we are.”
I glanced around the room. No one was doing Jell-O shots or flashing their boobs. I’m not sure Primrose needed to tell her team to focus. Everyone seemed very serious.
I made notes of almost everything Primrose said—details of deadlines, information on the timing of each piece and who was working on what. If someone needed to know what Primrose had said in this meeting, I was their gal.
“Now we’re through to the next stage,” Primrose continued, “the gems will all be reexamined to see if there’s anything else we can improve. Dexter will want to see everything every day, as you know. Don’t expect him to be less demanding, less exacting, or any more forgiving. We must not let him down. But more importantly, we must not let down the princess of Finland.”
I’d only been on the Daniels & Co team a couple of hours, but I knew already why they’d finalled and Sparkle hadn’t. The contrast between there and here was like being on different planets. One was a kindergarten paddling pool and one was the 100-meter freestyle at the Olympics. If I’d thought I was lucky to be interning at Sparkle, I had to believe some kind of divine intervention brought me to Daniels & Co.
Primrose swept out of the room and I turned to Macey, my boss, who sat beside me and had been designated to show me around. “Can you go grab us coffees?” she asked, handing me what looked like a corporate credit card. “I’ll have a double espresso. You’ll need to take everyone’s order.”
“Absolutely,” I said. Some interns might have balked at the idea of making a coffee run, but not me. This was an opportunity to get in front of everyone, have a one-on-one interaction, and hopefully make a great first impression. Maybe they’d remember me when they needed something other than coffee.
“Don’t forget Dexter,” she said over her shoulder.
My stomach flipped at just the mention of his name. And I mentally wrapped myself on the knuckles. I was just getting the guy’s coffee order. No. Big. Deal.
I scribbled down orders one by one. People were friendly but there was no small talk, and the chatter I overheard was strictly business. No one was discussing Love is Blind or debating whether or not Mark Ronson was attractive—compelling viewing and I would definitely say yes to dinner would have been my thoughts, had anyone been interested. But they weren’t.
My final stop was Dexter’s office, which was down a modern but dimly lit corridor. I knocked on the door, expecting an assistant to answer, but it was Dexter who barked deep and low. “Come.”
Tingles rippled across my skin.
I opened the heavy door and took a half step inside. “I’m just collecting coffee orders,” I said.
He didn’t look up from whatever was preoccupying him on his desk. “Come in and shut the door.”
I slipped inside and did as he asked, keeping my ass pressed against the back of the door.
Finally, he looked up. “I’ll have a sparkling water.”
I scribbled it down on my pad and when I looked up, he’d silently stalked across the room and was placing his hands either side of my head.
“And a kiss,” he added.
I ducked under his arm. “Absolutely not,” I said. “I told you—I’m not dating the boss.”
“I didn’t ask you to dinner. I requested a kiss.”
“Kissing is not allowed.”
“Said who?” he asked, leaning against the wall, clearly amused.
“Said HR. You’re off-limits. It’s an abuse of power.”
He rolled his eyes and headed back to his desk, and it was as if my stomach had dived off the Angel Falls. Why did he have to be such a darn gentleman? I mean, I liked that about him. A lot. But if he’d kissed me, I wouldn’t have complained.
I was flip-flopping like the most flip-flopping flip flopper of all time. “Can I take a seat?” I asked, indicating the chair opposite his desk.
He raised his eyebrows, which I took as a yes.
“Look,” I said as I sank into the deep purple, leather chair. “I like you. And okay, it’s not exactly an abuse of power because . . .” I sighed. “Well, because whatever.” How could I say that I’d already found him close to irresistible before he’d gone and rescued my dreams from hurtling toward oblivion? Now? It was hard to think when what I wanted to do was hitch my skirt up, hop onto his desk and have him bury his head between my thighs.
He was annoying. Hot. Kind. Thoughtful. The guy bordered on perfect. He was the worst.
“It’s not an abuse of power because I said so.” I said it with resolve and hopefully that would be enough. “But I don’t want to mess up this opportunity. I want to build relationships with your team and have them respect me. I don’t want them to think I’m only here because I’m banging the boss.”
“Yeah. You mentioned that already.” He grinned. “And I’m not going to force you to kiss me. Or even speak to me. So, it’s fine. I get it.”
Lead settled in my stomach. The problem was I wanted him to kiss me. A lot. I’d never felt this pull, this sensation of someone blowing bubbles in my stomach whenever Dexter was nearby, and I didn’t want to give that up. London was meant to be the start of a new life and I’d assumed that meant a new career. But maybe it could be more than that. Autumn might have been right. Perhaps, for once, I could spend time with a man who made me feel special—a guy who gave me goosebumps, who I thought about every spare moment of the day. I’d heard about those kinds of feelings—read about them in romance novels—but I’d never experienced any of it.
Maybe Dexter was my shot at more.
“I have a suggestion,” I said.
“Go on,” he replied and I leaned back in my chair. I was always so sure of my decisions, but there was something about being in London that made me willing to take risks I’d usually run from. Or maybe it wasn’t London at all. Maybe it was the man right in front of me.
“If we were somewhere private, no one would find out about us.”
“You want us to sneak around like teenagers trying not to get caught by our parents?”
“Or maybe jewel thieves on the run?” I suggested.
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He chuckled. “You should know that I’m not a role-play kind of guy.”
The gravelly tone he used had me thinking immediately about what type of guy he was. When he was naked. In bed. Or in the shower or . . . I needed to leave. “Okay then, maybe not.”
“You clearly have a plan. What were you thinking?”
“Maybe just dinner. In private.”
“I can work with that. I can get a private room at Le Gavroche.”
I was guessing that was some fancy restaurant, which would be nice and everything, but I was fast running out of outfits to wear to those places. “I was thinking maybe I’d come over to your place and cook you a meatloaf. Maybe some pie?”
A beat of silence passed between us and the corners of his mouth twitched. “I can work with that,” he replied, looking at me as if he were stripping me naked in his imagination.
I could work with that too.
Thirteen
Dexter
I rarely used my kitchen and wasn’t territorial about it at all, but it still felt odd as I sat on the bar stool and watched Hollie buzz about, poking her head in cupboards and pulling out bits of equipment I didn’t even realize I had.
“Considering you don’t cook, you’re set up like a world-famous chef or something,” she said as she pulled out some kind of device that looked like a sieve gone wrong.
“I used to have a housekeeper who liked to cook,” I replied, taking a sip of my wine and pretending to be preoccupied with the emails on my phone. I needed something to take the edge off. Everything about tonight was making me itch. Not because I was uncomfortable, but because the exact opposite was true. I barely knew Hollie, hadn’t even slept with her, but here we were in my flat as she cooked for me. No woman had ever made herself at home in my kitchen. Cooking together was the kind of shit married people did. And the only woman I’d ever even imagined marrying was Bridget.