“Highly unlikely. It isn’t bestowed, not unless a dead person did so - gods, someone dead?”
He nodded.
Saska whispered, “Someone wants, maybe needs, you to listen.” She shared her glance between them. “Is it safe?”
Elianas threaded a hand through his hair and did not answer.
Lowen did not have to say anything; her expression revealed uncertainty, and for Lowen that was odd.
“Not safe, then. Maybe you should leave it alone.”
“I think we are now beyond that,” Torrullin said. He glanced at Elianas, who eventually nodded. “Saska, you would go in there and listen? You can say no; it isn’t safe.”
“Heart of Darkness is a message, even the bestowing of it. If I don’t, you must, or it won’t ever leave you alone.” She gave a grimace. “Despite what I said, you cannot walk away.”
“How does it work?”
Torrullin stalled now, and shored up for what was coming. No, she thought with a sudden flash of insight, he shored Elianas up. This had more to do with the dark man than random purpose and challenge.
She allowed it. She needed bolstering also.
“It’s akin to the ability to recall something versus the ability to understand when something is dead. With this condition you either bring it back to life or hear what it was, feel what it was. In your case, you would raise the long dead indiscriminately; in my case, I would hear before choosing to raise, which I cannot, not anymore.”
Elianas touched her shoulder. “You hear only echoes.”
“Until I choose to hear properly.”
“Elianas, I do not want to use her for this,” Torrullin said.
“You go in there to raise Cassiopin from the dead and it will be betrayal,” Elianas said. He stepped closer. “A betrayal I shall answer with the same force you unleash. And if you raise her and then banish her, I shall hound you to the end of all things … and we will be enemies.”
Silence ensued, brittle and filled with nuance.
Saska broke it. “Cassiopin was Nemisin’s daughter.”
“She was my wife,” Elianas said, watching Torrullin.
That explained something. She snapped her fingers between the two men at eye level. “Hey, enough. The only one going in there is me.”
Both looked at her.
“But I am not doing it until I know more.”
“Saska’s right,” Lowen said. “You want her help; you tell her what you do know.”
“Agreed,” Torrullin said.
“Over coffee,” Lowen muttered. “Please?”
Saska smiled. “I could use some myself. Come.”
TORRULLIN AND ELIANAS moved reluctantly from the Chamber of Biers. Despite danger, despite horror, there was a pull from inside hard to deny.
They lagged as Saska led the way with Lowen beside her.
“Elianas, bringing her back may …”
“No.”
“I would not banish her.”
“I said no.”
“Are you afraid of her?”
“I am petrified of the guilt. Leave it.”
They walked on.
“There are many biers. Who has the pertinent message, besides Cassiopin and Nemisin? It will take days for Saska to listen to all of them.”
Elianas shrugged. “I would like to avoid Cassiopin.”
“I am trying to avoid Nemisin. Who else?”
“Valen?”
“He was a soldier, not a player.”
“Who else is in there?”
“We will have to ask.”
A step, two, and Elianas murmured, “She is without direction, my brother. Do not deny her an opportunity to find it again.”
“Like this?” Torrullin muttered.
“Saska is strong. You should suggest she leaves Akhavar.”
“I have not the right.”
“Then I will do it.”
“Do not interfere.”
Elianas grinned. “Look at us, pussyfooting around women.”
Torrullin laughed.
AHEAD, THE TWO women were in halting conversation.
“So, you stuck with him.”
Lowen said, “Elianas sent for me. After the Void, we judged it best to go our separate ways.”
Saska did not respond to the latter. “Elianas needs you to keep the peace?”
Lowen glanced over. “Clever.”
“They seem at odds, yet also … whatever.”
“Men, I guess.”
“Lowen, long ago I knew Elianas would change everything when he came. Don’t play games with me.”
Lowen waited a beat. “How could you know?”
“Because, unlike you, I am not a seer?”
“I mean no offence; I am curious,” Lowen said.
“Torrullin already dreamed about him when we met, and when he spoke of those dreams there was a look in his eyes, I don’t know, like he needed it to come to pass. Like he waited for his heart, something like that.”
You must choose one heart. Well. She might just have nudged him in a direction she could never get him away from again. “They have the longest history. No wonder he dreamed. Forgetting doesn’t always follow directive.”
Saska shied from that. “I didn’t know you were a true immortal.”
A sidelong glance. “Are you thinking it explains why Torrullin and I got together?”
“Doesn’t it?”
“It explains much, yes. In some convoluted manner he believed it meant I’d be there always, somewhere. Even if it wasn’t at his side, I would still be there. But co-existing isn’t sufficient, and we know that now. It no longer applies, Saska. Not only is Elianas in the fray at last and as timeless, but I’m no longer a true immortal.”
Saska’s shoulders twitched. “Oh?”
Lowen smiled. “Don’t get hopeful, whatever you do. We are now afterthoughts, both of us.”
For an instant Saska wanted to slap her Xenian rival - Lowen saw it in her eyes - and then the truth of it sank in. “I guess. How did it change for you, then?”
“A Syllvan gift.”
“Is it a gift?”
“Yes. And no. Torrullin was offered the same.”
“He denied it, of course.”
“For Elianas.”
Saska gazed at her searchingly. “Choice of death meant you, and choice of eternity meant Elianas.”
“Succinctly put.”
“It hurt.”
“Yes.”
“And now?”
“He will pay.”
Saska laughed. “The only one who will be paying is you. I speak with the voice of experience.”
“I think you may be right.”
Saska gave her another look. “What will really hurt is taking Elianas from him.”
“There is no hope of that.”
“You might be surprised.”
“Hurting Torrullin will not bring him in line.”
Saska sighed. “No.”
Chapter 6
Why is it, in these spaces of awareness, the dead refuse to stay dead?
~ Guild of Sorcerers, Kalgaia
Akhavar
AFTER TORRULLIN RELATED what happened on Xen and Ceta, he asked, “How long does Heart of Darkness last?”
Pouring coffee, Saska replied, “It depends on whether you were given it, learned to find it, or took it. Taking it brings an erratic gift and you would soon lose it - a few days, no more. Having learned it, you keep it until you abdicate the responsibility, as I did. If you were given it, it is for a specific purpose. Once you have used it, it leaves.”
“The three of us?” Lowen asked. “Taken or given?”
“There’s a connection to that angel; I believe it was bestowed.” Saska passed mugs around, and sat. “Here’s a bit of a dilemma. Is your specific purpose the Chamber of Biers, and thus, even if you don’t use it there, you lose the Heart when you leave, or will it be with you for another occasion?”
“What do you think?” Elianas asked.
“Only Lily can answer. If you want to know, go to her from here.”
“Then we go to the Lady,” Lowen stated with finality. “I don’t like this.”
Saska leaned on her elbows, ignoring her coffee. She gazed at Torrullin. “It sounds to me as if this net of sites is a good state, a far ranging plan that has borne fruit. It further occurs to me this is why the Lady of Life is ever successful. She taps into the wellspring of a world, one already conditioned. Why mess with it?”
“We don’t want to mess with it. It is good, as you say,” Torrullin murmured. “But, Saska, a black heart in an angel? Gods, that is not right.”
She leaned back. “I don’t think you quite understand. It was not a black heart - it was the Heart of Darkness. If Ceta were to revert to drought and death, it is the place to tap to reverse it, and maybe it kept all the ills of a world at bay until now.”
He stared at her.
Saska smiled. “Tell Lily; she can instil the other in its place, if necessary.”
Elianas murmured, “We should not be so hasty in the future.”
Saska still fixated on Torrullin. “The future is dark for most of us, but it does not mean there isn’t a future. If we are now shaken free of the Void and onto a linear path, does it not follow we create a new future by every action we take, every thought we have, and every emotion? We are not in danger of falling off an edge into nothingness; we are made new and create fresh as we go forward. There is nothing to be afraid of.”
“Always I could see what lay ahead, and now naught. It does not add up,” Torrullin responded.
“My visions have ceased also,” Lowen murmured.
“So seers are out of work,” Saska smiled. “Yet the future is with us, around every corner of the heart, mind and soul. Torrullin, you worked with known futures and know how to bring on certain circumstances because you experienced them before, lived them, even manipulated them. Now all is new; what would you see? Not an existing parallel, but an unknown future. For you it appears dark or clouded. To us it is expectation, surprise and colour. It’s quite normal.”
Silence, and then, from Lowen, “Actually, it makes perfect sense.”
Saska inclined her head.
“We may be pulling at ghosts in our uncertainty,” Elianas murmured, looking at Saska with new respect.
Torrullin was thoughtful. “Why Heart of Darkness, then?”
“Seek and ye shall find,” Saska grinned. “Uncertainty requires certainty to negate it, right? Maybe the Chamber of Biers is your specific purpose. You need to know all is well.”
Torrullin frowned. “We would have raised the dead, Saska, had you not spoken warning. That is profound change.”
“In the past you would have found out what Heart of Darkness meant before being impulsive.”
“Granted, and then we would still have raised the dead, knowing no other way.” He leaned in again. “I hear what you say and usually would agree, but if I look behind the surface I see something else. I think had we gone to Excelsior rather than Ceta, the Heart of Darkness would have waited there. We were meant to have it and to use it. Had you not been here, with your knowledge, we would have entered to listen and, being ignorant, would have raised the dead.
“Fine, we can argue the leap to the Chamber of Biers could be faulty, and yet that leap was made and not one of us argued against it. It fit, strange as it is. Lowen had a vision of this place before the future clouded over; why, unless she was to prompt this? We are meant to raise the dead and do so here. What I cannot figure, however, is whether we are right or wrong in choosing to listen rather than do.”
“Two sides to every coin and you insist on looking into the metal between,” Saska murmured.
Torrullin laughed.
“Fine, Torrullin, then let us examine those components.”
He laughed once more. “Go ahead.”
“One, if you listen now when you are meant to raise, the Heart will remain with you, and you will be back here. You lose little, except time.”
“Fine, I see that.”
“Two, if you do not know the right or wrong of it, someone does. This is something you should bear in mind before doing as you think you are meant to. ‘Meant’ smacks of another’s planning.”
He leaned forward. “Explain that.”
Saska rubbed at her cheek. “Well, maybe only those you and Elianas wronged will be raised. Maybe you are to settle matters, so both of you can go forward unencumbered.”
Elianas closed his eyes.
Torrullin said, “Maybe.”
“However,” Saska murmured, “and this is the fly in the wine.”
Elianas groaned.
Torrullin waited.
“Speaking as the once Lady, I know you either raise someone before the soul has crossed over, or you yank a soul from a realm to return it to the body.”
“Gods,” Lowen muttered.
“The folk in those biers have not crossed over. Body and soul remain together; we would not hear them otherwise. They wait to be released.”
Torrullin leaned forward again and she held her hand up.
“Let me finish. It cannot be done unless another made it so. Put meant and stasis together …”
“… and we have one huge, mother of a problem.”
Elianas pushed his chair back to pace.
Saska continued, “I know who lies interred and I would hate to see those people walk again in this time. Listen if you must, and walk away after.”
Elianas dragged a chair clear of the table beside her and flung into it to stare directly into her eyes. “You say they wait.”
“Yes.”
“And if we walk away?”
“They continue to wait.”
He was unblinking. “I cannot allow that to continue.”
Saska was as unblinking. “Then you must know whether you want to banish her or not, and stand by your choice, and you must know before you go in.”
“Where would she go?”
“It depends on who she was when alive, her manner of death, and what the long wait did to her.”
Elianas dragged his gaze over to Torrullin. “Then I cannot banish her.”
Torrullin nodded.
Lowen muttered, “Gods, Saska, why do you have to be so clever? This whole thing is now a hundred times worse.”
Saska glanced at her and saw no censure there, only grudging admiration. “A facet of the Lady. We do not forget.”
“Caballa said you hate the chamber.”
“I do, because I know.”
Torrullin’s palms were on the table. He pushed himself up. “How long were you prepared to wait before you told me?”
“Until you asked. Eventually you had to ask. You had to face Nemisin’s bier some time.” Saska lifted a shoulder and dropped it. “Lily and I put banishment measures in place, in case.” She gazed at him steadily. “Truth is, if you had not come now, asking without awareness, another would in the fullness of time, the one who caused this.”
Lowen was on her feet. “They will know who that person is. We listen first, Torrullin, and then make choices after.”
Elianas hung his head. “Had I not known they hang neither dead nor alive, I would say we walk from this. I would even suggest we do not listen. I would not care who meant for what to happen or that the future is dark.” He lifted his head. “But it is the worst kind of evil to leave them, no matter who they were.”
Torrullin sighed.
Saska said, “Everything remains as I said earlier - wait, let me explain. The Heart of Darkness was given you for a purpose; this is it. The future is as it will be by our actions, etcetera, and will be dark for you, colour for me. Your uncertainty will become certainty and you might even ask for, receive or grant forgiveness, and move on unencumbered. You lose a little time; you expend some emotion, and move on.
“All this in three steps. One, listen; two, raise; and three, banish immediately … wait, Elianas. If you banish all, nothing is affec
ted. You return the status quo and everything moves on as we thought it would before the Heart stirred this. Change lies in choosing life for some; change lies only in your hands. You may not see what lies ahead, but you will certainly impact it.”
“And the instigator? The planner?” Torrullin’s voice was hoarse.
“He is either thwarted or appeased.” Saska rose, adding, “Torrullin, the instigator is you.”
ELIANAS AND TORRULLIN were alone pacing the ledge at the entrance to the mountain city, which swiftly emptied when Torrullin glared around.
“You did that,” Elianas said.
“I do not recall.” Torrullin threaded his hands through his hair. “Saska could be wrong.” More hair threading. “I remembered the rest; surely this, too? How can it be? Elianas, if anyone did this, it would be bloody Nemisin.”
Elianas muttered an oath and closed in to still those roving hands. “Stop it; you are irritating me.”
Torrullin placed his hands at Elianas’ neck and rested forehead to forehead with him. “I have done terrible things, my brother, but this? Surely I am not capable of this punishment?”
Elianas touched Torrullin’s cheek. “I do not see it, no.”
They moved apart and paced more.
“So what is this?” Torrullin wondered. “A time fold missed by the Void?”
“Impossible.”
“A product of the net? It began here, after all.”
“Cassiopin would thoroughly check the influences.”
“Even so; magic was untamed then.”
“It’s not the net.”
Torrullin came to rest, staring over the moonlit plain.
Elianas joined him. “Nemisin showed me a letter once. You wrote it. Remember that time you caused the skin disease because Nemisin would not send healers into the outer rim? You scared him - hell, you scared me. The letter told him, how we feel and act and perceive is the creation all around us, or that was the question you asked. He took it to mean it was in his imagination, and by morning the disease had vanished.”
“I remember.”
“My point is this. On the list Saska showed us there are many wronged souls. Some by me, others by you, yet others by both of us, and even a fair few by Nemisin himself. Guilt, my brother, tricks the imagination.”
Lore of Sanctum Omnibus Page 67