I smile as I sign my name on the dotted line of the documents. I am putting in full asking price cash offer. I have no doubt that once Chad gets off the phone with the other real estate agent, that this will be our home.
Our home… damn that sounds good!
Sebastian
I am standing here with my heartbreaking and my mind racing, listening to her tell him that she loves him. She can’t love him; it just be possible. If she does, it can’t be the way she had once loved me. Loving her is the easiest and the hardest thing I have ever done. It is as natural as breathing, but it comes at an extraordinary price... Hurting her.
I feel her words cutting into me over and over. She ends the call without ever breaking her eyes from mine. How can she stand there and look at me and tell another man she loves him?
I can’t let this happen. I won’t let this happen.
I grab for her arms without even thinking. She looks at me with terror and I try to calm the surge of panic that races throughout my body. I ease my hold on her, but I’m not letting go until she listens to me.
“What are you doing, Sebastian?” She gasps.
“Making you listen to me,” I reply as I pull her into the nearby pizza shop. It isn’t the place I want to have this conversation, but it is going to have to do for this. Pulling her back over to the hallway where the restrooms are, I ease her into a corner to give us more privacy.
“Sebastian, stop it!” she says as she tries to wiggle from my hold. I hate that I am doing this to her right now, but I’m not letting go of her until she hears everything that I said in the letter she never read. The one she so easily threw away…just like she did my heart.
“Just listen to me, please. I need to know something. Did you ever read the letter I left for you?” I ask nervously.
She blinks in recognition to what I am asking and then diverts her eyes away from mine. “No.”
“Why?” I ask. I hold my breath, unsure of whether or not I want to hear the answer she is about to reveal to me.
“I tried to read it. For months I tried, but I never could bring myself to actually do it. I had to let it go. It isn’t good for me to…” She explains just as someone walks through the hallway carrying a delivery takeout. As the young man heads past us to the back door, I watch her face become paler.
Fuck, she is sick and I’m doing this to her. I don’t have a choice. It is now or never. The aroma of Italian sausage fills the air and I watch her grab for her mouth. Pushing past me, she runs into the ladies room behind us, with me following in panic behind her. Slamming the stall door back, she heaves into the toilet in front of her. Over and over, she vomits violently. I hold her hair back and wrap my arm around her to hold her up. I can’t believe how thin and weak she feels against me. It is scaring the fucking hell out of me.
When she is done, she turns and looks back up at me as I continue holding her up. She looks even worse than before.
I’m terrified! What can be wrong be wrong with her?
“I’m taking you to the doctor now! Can you walk or do I need to carry you out of here?” I ask her as I start to lift her. She pushes me back and steadies herself so I release her. She maneuvers herself around me in the small stall and walks out to the sink. Cupping a handful of water, she drinks it and looks back up at me in the mirror.
Gripping the sink, she closes her eyes for a second and looks down, leaving the water still running. I watch as she slumps forward a bit and then looks back at me in the mirror.
“I have already seen a doctor, Sebastian.” Her words suck the life out of me. In my mind, I’m thinking the worst possible scenario. There is no way I can live without her in this world.
She can’t be dying. Oh, God!
“What did they say? You need to see another one, doctors aren’t always right you know? We can get a second or third opinion even,” I frantically reply.
“I’m afraid it wouldn’t matter how many doctors I see, they will all agree to the same thing.”
No! No! I feel like I have had the life sucked out of me.
“Skylar.” I whisper and she turns around to face me. Leaning back against the sink, she props herself and then looks me dead in the eyes. I brace myself. This is it.
“I’m pregnant, Sebastian.”
And with those words…my whole world changes.
Skylar
I never expected to tell him I am pregnant. I especially never expected to be telling him in the bathroom of a pizza parlor. Studying his face, I watch as it goes from shock to glee. I’ve never seen him this happy before. Even when he had asked me to marry him and I said ‘yes’ it hadn’t been like this. He is beaming with happiness and his amber eyes glow with such love that it causes me to forget everything bad that has ever happened between us. Rushing towards me, he excitedly picks me up and spins me around.
Yeah, it’s not such a good idea to do this to a pregnant girl who has just vomited.
“Oh, baby! You’re pregnant!” He shouts happily as he eases my feet back to the floor. I still can’t fathom how happy he seems right now. I can’t help but be swept up in this moment with him. He pulls me back into his arms and I melt. This is how it should be. We should be happily married and celebrating this magnificent news with the world. We should be laughing at my cravings and making hopes and plans with this life we’ve created together.
I close my eyes. I see him cradling our child in his arms. I see him dancing with our daughter. I see every single moment of what our future should hold, and smile through the tears that fall down my face as I lay my head against his chest.
I want this more than anything, but I can’t allow myself to have it.
In one cruel choice I will know I will forever regret, I say the words I know will haunt me forever.
He drops his arms and stumbles backwards. A look of horror washes over his face. I’ve just officially ripped the soul out from the man that I love.
Sebastian
“The baby isn’t yours. It’s Lucas’,” she says into my chest.
No! It can’t be true. It just can’t. One minute I am the happiest I ever thought possible and the next I feel like I am going to die.
Oh, God, this pain. I can’t bear it! Please make it stop!
Something happens in that instance and I no longer am really here in this room. I stare at her beautiful face as she is speaking, but her words aren’t clear. Everything she says is a mumble she moves closer, but somehow I don’t want her touching me. I never thought I would say that.
I feel the need to leave. I don’t feel like I want to be here anymore. Turning my body, I feel the heaviness in my step. It takes every ounce of energy I have to move away from her. I feel her pulling on my arm as we reach the door. The warm light touches my skin as I step outside. She tugs at me, but I yank my heavy arm away, and continue walking. The sounds of the people around me fill my ears; their faces are nothing but a blur now. I focus on where I am parked up ahead and I know I must get to my car.
As I move to cross the intersection, the noises go from muffled to loud and then clear. Horns loudly blare and I hear people shouting, “Stop!”
I turn my head back around and see Skylar’s horrified face among the crowd of people and watch as she screams out my name.
“Sebastian!”
I feel my body being lifted into the air. I hear the screeching of the tires… the breaking of glass and then I hear the screams. I am once again in the night that changed everything. Suddenly, I feel the impact. And as I lay there on the pavement, I see the beautiful turquoise eyes stare back into mine.
“Sebastian! Oh my God! Look at me! Someone get help! Please!” She screams leaning into me. I feel her soft hand on my face as I taste the blood in my mouth. I look up at her, but I feel myself being pulled away. I am so cold. I fight to keep my eyes open, but I can’t. I don’t have any fight left in me.
What is the use anymore?
And so, I allow the darkness to wash over me and take the pain away wi
th it.
Skylar
He won’t stop. No matter what I do or what I say, he just keeps walking. I don’t want him to leave this way. Even though I can’t let him know the truth, I can’t bear for him to walk away from me like this. At first I thought I can, but I immediately regret how I have handled this. Regardless of everything we have been through together, hurting him is the last thing I want to do. It is what I had thought I needed to do. It had been the only way I thought I could protect our baby and myself.
I catch up to him just as he reaches the front door of the pizza parlor. Everyone turns and stares at me, as I continue yelling and begging for him to stop. With one last effort, I grab his arm and pull. He forcefully yanks free and leaves, causing me to stumble back against the door. I follow him out, but I’m so tired and weak that I can’t seem to catch up to him. Quickly, he fades into the people walking down the sidewalk and I search frantically for him. And then I see him.
Adrenaline overtakes my exhausted body and I take off running. People move out of my way as I shove and yell warnings along the way. When I finally reach the intersection, I am out of breath and coughing again. I look up and watch Sebastian pause, but then he steps ahead of the others who are pausing for the light to change. He takes a few more steps and others gasp at his actions.
Is he crazy? What is he doing? Is he trying to get himself killed?
“Sebastian!” I scream trying to get his attention. Immediately, he stops and turns to face me. A look of confusion comes across his face as if he is just now aware of where he is and what he is doing. A horn blares, tires screech… and then time stands still. Everything moves in slow motion around me; I can’t do anything to prevent it. My heart stops. I see the car as it makes contact with him, the force lifting him up in high into the air. He falls back onto the hood and then limply rolls onto the pavement.
“Sebastian! Oh my God! Look at me! Someone get help! Please!” I scream as I run to him. Dropping to my knees, I touch his face.
People begin rushing near us. The driver of the car that hit him rushes over to where I am kneeling beside him. Blood is pouring from his head and mouth. He blinks his eyes and I feel his body shivering. Muscles in his body twitch and his mouth tries to move. I watch his eyes glass over and close.
“No! No! Wake up! Sebastian Please! You have to open your eyes. You can’t leave me!” I cry as I try to shake him awake. Without warning, I am dragged away by a police officer and then I hear the sirens of the ambulance heading towards us. I feel like I am going to collapse. If not for the stranger who is holding me up, I would be on the ground. My head swims, the world is slowing down even more around me. I watch helplessly as the paramedics lift him onto the transport stretcher and belt him down into place. I break free from the stranger’s hold and run towards them.
“Please! I need to go with him,” I beg the emergency worker and he nods sympathetically back at me. Quickly, I climb into the back of the ambulance and move to sit beside the stretcher as the worker continues working on him. I spot his ruined jacket on the seat. They must have cut it off him. I pull it close to me. His intoxicating aroma is still all over the fabric.
“We need to get moving now! His BP is dropping fast and I can barely register a pulse!“ The worker shouts and hits the roof of the ambulance. The driver waves his hand in signal. Seconds later, we are speeding through traffic to the ER. I grip his hand; it is so cold that I shiver in response. Regardless of how rough and jarring the ride is, the worker keeps a close watch over him and preps him for when we reach the hospital.
Concern is written over his face as he starts the IV in Sebastian’s arm. I search his face for any signs to panic more than I already am doing. “Hold on! Please Sebastian!” I continue begging.
Within minutes we are pulling into the emergency entrance and the back ambulance door opens. I give his hand one final squeeze. “Fight! Fight for us! Don’t leave me. I love you!” I say into his ear as they hurriedly pull him out of the back. The workers lift the stretcher up and run beside him as they push him through the wide automatic door.
I grip his ragged coat against me and run behind them. A team of doctors and nurses who then begin taking over meets them. I go as far as they will allow me to go with him. A nurse holds me back as I protest and I watch the double doors close in front of me.
“Please God! Don’t take him away from me, too!” I beg.
Lucas
It’s almost ten at night and she still isn’t home. I’ve tried calling her over and over again, but I can’t get her to pick up her goddamn phone. Kylie sits next to me on the barstool in the kitchen calling every possibly person she knows that might be able to find out where she is. Between her frantic calls and mine, we have both managed to fill up her message mailbox.
I even called Mr. Yung’s personal assistant, Chanru, in hopes of finding out if he knew where she might be. He informs me that Skylar cancelled their meeting this morning because she had not been feeling well. None of this makes any sense to me. Why would she leave here if she was feeling so sick? Better yet, why didn’t she tell me this when I called her earlier today?
Remembering our conversation from earlier, I remember that she had mentioned something about needing to run some errands, but that had been around one o’clock this afternoon. Something has happened to her, but what? After what happened between us, she promised me that from now on, she would always answer her phone.
Sliding off the barstool, I dial her number. Again, it goes to the message that her voicemail is full. Out of both frustration and fear, I take the phone in my hands and send it flying across the room. It hits the tile floor in the kitchen and shatters. Instantly, I regret my actions. Now there is no way for me to answer her calls if she tries to call me back.
Kylie looks at me harshly and then her expression softens. I know she is just as worried as I am about Skylar.
“Where can she be? I know something is wrong Kylie. I can feel it,” I say as I bend down and begin picking up pieces of the now shattered phone.
“I’ve called several hospitals in the area, but no one with her description has been brought in. We’ll find her Lucas.”
Then Kylie’s phone rings and she frantically answers it.
“Skylar!” She shouts into the phone but quickly she changes her expression.
“Where is she at? Yes, we are on our way now.”
She drops her hand and looks at me. Her body is trembling.
Tightly, I grab ahold of the marble counter in front of me and prepare myself for what she is about to tell me. I only pray I will have the strength to handle it.
Skylar
Hugging his jacket to me, I breathe in his scent. At this moment, it is the only comfort that I have to keep me from going insane. This is entirely my fault. My lie had shattered him. The guilt consumes me and strangles the life out of my soul. I can’t breathe. What if he dies because of what I have done? Is this feeling of guilt the way he feels for what he had done to my family? How can anyone live like this? Am I really any different than him and what he had done to me?
Swaying back and forth, I anxiously wait for someone to tell me something. The nurses have already told me that I need to wait in the waiting area, but I refuse to move from where I am. I can hear the medical staff screaming orders from where I am standing. The doors fly open and a nurse yells for another person to come help.
No! God…please…no!
Panicking, I quickly grab ahold of the wall for support. Another team of medical staff rushes past me pushing a cart with them.
I can feel him leaving me.
“HE’S CRASHING! Start another unit of blood now! Someone tell them to get the O.R. ready NOW!” A stern male voice shouts his orders.
“I DON’T HAVE A PULSE!” A female voice yells.
“Intubating!” Another voice confirms.
“START CHEST COMPRESSIONS!! WE HAVE TO GET HIM UP TO O.R. NOW! MOVE, PEOPLE!” The doctor shouts again.
The doors slam
open and the huge team of doctors and nurses rush out of the room. The team runs beside him as the older man continues giving orders.
Taking off running, I catch up to them as they pause for the elevator door to open. I can barely make out his face from all the tubes and breathing mechanisms. A tall slender nurse continues pumping the device in her hand to push air into his lungs. I push my way closer. I have to see him. I have to tell him it all had been a lie.
He can’t leave me!
Everyone is so preoccupied with working on him, that they don’t notice me until I am up next to him.
“SEBASTIAN! YOU HAVE TO FIGHT! I NEED YOU! THE BABY AND I BOTH NEED YOU!” I scream and then I am being pulled back away from him.
“Get her out of here!” The doctor roars as the male nurse pulls me to the side.
“I’m sorry, miss. You will have to wait here.”
The doors open to the elevator and they rush him inside. The male nurse lets go of me and follows them in. I don’t give them a chance to protest as I charge to the opening of the door.
I have to tell him.
“PLEASE SEBASTIAN! I LOVE YOU! PLEASE, DON’T LEAVE US!” I shout as the doors close in front of me. I feel the cold steel as it slides beneath my hands.
Sheer terror overtakes me. My body bottoms out of adrenaline and I feel my legs give way. Catching myself, I ease down to the cold concrete floor and hit my knees. Crying uncontrollably, I bury my face into his jacket once more, but this time when I do, something scratches my face. Startled, I lift up the side of the torn fabric and see something peeking from the inside jacket pocket. Sliding the paper out with my hands, I unfold it and gasp at what I see.
Thorneless (Rose of Thorne Series) Page 17