by Johnny Jacks
“That doesn’t make any sense. Why would you take a beating for such a stupid thing?”
Weber pulled at his shirtsleeves. “They offered me a promotion to get you fired, and I needed the money for special education for my son, Ethan. He has Asperger Syndrome, and I worry about what’ll happen to him when my wife and I are no longer on this earth. How will he support himself? I’m sorry, Grayson, very sorry, and hope you can forgive me.”
“You had a second chance at the Delgado trial but didn’t take it. Why?”
“At the last minute, I realized you were a good and moral man, also, about as down as any man could go. I couldn’t live with myself if I did such an awful thing. It would make me a reprobate, worse than I’d already become, and bother me every day of my life. I had to put right what I did to you that day on the range. I’m sorry, Grayson.”
Grayson was shocked at his abrupt change of attitude toward Weber. It took as unexpected a turn as it had with Shannon in Vegas. His voice mellowed. “How’s your son?”
“He’s very smart but has trouble analyzing things. We’re struggling with his social skills training. He won’t be able to do more than janitorial work or stock store shelves but eventually he can become self-reliant with the right training.”
Grayson grabbed Weber’s right hand and shook it firmly. “Let’s start over, Weber. I have some resources that will make sure Ethan gets the training he needs.”
“What do you mean…resources?”
“Come in the house. We can talk about it over lunch. Welcome to the MAG.” Grayson left Weber and Charles staring at each other, speechless.
~~~
Sitting alone on his porch that evening in his old winter jacket with Millie curled up at his feet, as Grayson watched the stars sparkle against a black sky, a moment of self-awareness, the turning of a corner, came over him. Ramirez’s conversion over the years from a tough, exacting Army commander into a compassionate elderly gentleman was beginning to make sense. Not every event in his life had to be a battle. He looked deep into the night sky and felt Margaret’s touch and knew that she was proud of him.
Islamic State of America - 13
Islamic Social Center in Monterrey, Mexico
Year 1
Akeem used a pointer to identify each of the new cells’ mission area on the map. “Carlos will be here in the Houston area and every cell that composes the ISAC Army of the Southwest Province will be under his command. Other cells will be here in Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, Oklahoma, and the southern parts of Nevada and California.”
“Excuse me for interrupting, but how long will this take. When will we go into action?” Marco asked, seeming eager to get on with it. “Why can we not attack now?”
Carlos was becoming irritated with Marco but refrained from reacting and taking control away from Akeem.
Akeem’s response left no room for misunderstanding. “You are not to worry about time. Focus on the process. The more years we have to build and train our secret cells, the stronger we will be when the time presents itself. Our concern is to do the will of Allah without regard to time.”
Imam Omar, unaware of Akeem’s distrust of Marco, interjected, “Western economies will fail. Insha’ Allah, but that must not happen before we establish all cells throughout America, perhaps, fifteen years or more. We are Muslim; time is nothing to us. As Akeem said, focus on the process.” He motioned for Akeem to continue.
“After initial training in Egypt, we conduct holy war and bring Sharia to other parts of Africa. Those who succeed in combat will be rewarded with many wives and concubines. The bravest will have first pick, as young as nine years old, as it was with the wives of Mohammed—peace be upon him.”
“Each of us can be Carlos’ deputies and lead a cell of our own and have many wives. Allahu Akbar!” one of the men exclaimed, almost in disbelief and barely able to contain himself. His excitement was infectious. The other men sat up and gave Akeem rapt attention.
“Others of your countrymen are reverting every day. Over time, many Mexican brothers will join our cells and infiltrate the Southwest as laborers.”
Marco realized he was in a tough spot with Akeem and Carlos and took action to placate them. “Please forgive me, Akeem, for being so curious. Questions come to my mind that I believe may be helpful as warriors for Allah. I have only one more, if you will be patient with me, and then I will remain silent.” He paused to give Akeem time to digest his peace offering.
Imam Omar gave Akeem a subtle sign to accommodate the man.
Akeem bit his tongue and yielded to the holy man’s silent directions.
“Of course, Marco. What is your question?”
“The cells are hundreds of miles apart. After the collapse when telephones and satellite phones are useless, how will the cells stay in contact with Carlos?”
Akeem admitted to himself that Marco asked good questions but still couldn’t bring himself to trust the man. “We will use shortwave radios that transmit long distances. Select members of each cell will train as radio operators,” he replied, without further explanation.
“Let us take time to pray and eat. Akeem will then present the last of your instructions. Then, you can prepare to travel to Cairo,” Imam Omar ordered.
Pointing again to the map, Akeem directed their attention to the other provinces scattered across America. “Each of these has a leader from his province, someone who blends in with the local populace.”
Miguel sat up. “Like Carlos and me.”
“Exactly. Brothers experienced in combat will return to their provinces and live regular lives incognito and under the guidance of their imams. All will continue to train in our hidden camps in America. Cell leaders will remain in combat zones until it is obvious the collapse is close. They will also return at times to conduct jihadi exercises with their cells.”
Carlos, as a good leader should, remained quiet until the end, taking in all information before responding. “One thing is still missing. Who will be the leader of all the provinces?”
Akeem looked at Imam Omar and beamed. He paused until all eyes followed his to the holy man. “As we discussed before, we will make America one Islamic caliphate that follows Sharia, the law that pleases Allah. Imam Omar will be our caliph, the leader of all. Insha’ Allah, god willing.”
Carlos led them in vigorous applause. With the men comprehending and accepting the seriousness and dangers of the tasks before them, the trap closed tight. Akeem’s mission for Allah was a complete success.
Standing, Carlos addressed his men. “Tomorrow we depart for Egypt. There we train as holy warriors then go into battle for Allah. Surely, some of us will die, perhaps even me. Those who survive will return to America when the time is right to restore Sharia, the law that pleases Allah. Any man afraid to face the infidels and die in battle must stand and leave now.”
Their resolve etched in their faces, not one of them moved.
“Allahu Akbar!” Carlos shouted.
“Allahu Akbar!” came their spirited response.
Imam Omar and Akeem exchanged a knowing smile.
Chapter 36
Laura’s Big Gamble
Year 8
Grayson gave Laura a peck on the cheek. “Thanks for letting me come over. I’ve been worried about you ever since you turned me down to go dancing with the chief and Miss Grace last week.” Why is it that a man doesn’t know something’s out of kilter until he feels a need to apologize?
She led him by the hand silently from the door to the living room sofa and gave him a hug before sitting down. She leaned her head against his shoulder. “Straight up, Grayson. I’m not a woman a man can take lightly. I care about you but I won’t play second fiddle to anyone. I treat you with the same respect.”
Caught by surprise, he remembered his dad’s advice that a smart man knows when to nod, keep his comments short and sweet, and then shut his mouth. “Laura, you have my utmost respect.”
“I have something important to discuss wi
th you.” Trouble tinged the edge of her tongue.
Grayson grinned broadly. “You’re pregnant!”
“No, but it’s nice to see you have a positive reaction to that prospect.” Laura smiled for a few seconds before returning to her somber mood. “As we discussed before, we seem perfect together, yet we’re going nowhere. We enjoy our times together, but we’re spinning our wheels. We’ve dated for four years and I love you, Grayson, but I need more. I don’t know how to say this other than to come straight out with it.”
Sounds to me like you already have. Hold your tongue, cowboy.
She looked down and released a sigh, then raised her head and made deep contact with Grayson’s blue eyes. “I have a dinner date tomorrow evening with Marvin Rapose.”
Grayson laughed. “Okay. I have a date with J-Lo. She’s getting on in age but still hanging in there.”
Laura’s eyes never left his and she spoke softly, “I’m serious, Grayson.”
She was not kidding. A stab of jealousy hit his heart; it hurt. Incredulity replaced his gleeful attitude. “You mean the banker at Wells Fargo? He’s a good guy but—”
“He asks me out every time I see him, and I decided to take him up on his offer.”
Grayson was stunned into silence.
“My biological clock is ticking and I have to get on with my life. I would welcome a brother or sister for Austin. I often fantasize having a daughter to share girl things with. It’s obvious that’s not what you want. It’s become something of a practical matter with me.”
Grayson’s mind raced, analyzing the situation, a rapidly changing firefight and the enemy now outflanked him. They sat looking at each other for a minute.
“Laura, I admit I understand what you’re saying. I wish I could explain it, but—”
“If I didn’t know better, I’d say that you had another woman.”
“There’s no other woman, and you know it!” He threw it out too quickly and angrily.
Laura remained calm. “I know. In this tight little community, it would be the gossip of the day. Yet your actions tell me I’m competing with another woman. If it’s not a woman, I don’t know what it is.”
“You are perfect for me. We have a great relationship, and I love the things we do together. Oddly enough, I especially like our time together with Austin.”
Her reply gave him no room for escape. “Then why can’t you commit permanently to us?”
Grayson leaned back and contemplated the question for a long time, too long. “I don’t know.” The lie pushed too deep in his subconscious to be apparent, or for him to admit to.
“Maybe you’re still mourning Margaret. I could understand that except it’s been too many years since she passed.”
“Laura, I care for you. You’re the greatest thing in my life.”
“Sometimes you have to let the bull throw you to live another day. Who is she?”
His anger showing, he spoke with exhaustion. “I swear I’m not seeing another woman. Certainly, you know that.”
Laura remained composed but with eyes beginning to glisten. “Yes, I know, you have to face yourself and admit that your mind is with Margaret...or…another, perhaps. Either way, I’m competing with a ghost.”
Grayson looked confused, then his eyes widened. He thought Laura had helped him push it deep enough that he could tamp it down if it tried to resurface. Obviously, he was wrong. Why did you do this to me, Shannon Fisher?
He tried hard to keep Shannon hidden in his subconscious but she was tucked securely in his heart, slipping out every now and then when he least expected it. He struggled to refute the enormity of his desire, but the truth was staring at him in Laura’s precious face. If he were to have a normal life, he had to rid himself of her. He had to kill the beast before it killed him. Laura also deserved a normal life.
“You’re a smart lady, Laura MacIntyre.” He kissed the tears on her cheeks. “I’m sorry, so sorry.”
She sat in his lap, her head on his chest, and cried softly. He enveloped her in his big arms and laid his cheek on the top of her head, rocking her like a child. Inhaling the sweet fragrance that was Laura caused him, for a moment, to doubt his resistance to commitment. Shut the door on Shannon and ask Laura to marry you at this very moment, you idiot.
“She is a mistake from a past indiscretion, a mistake that I didn’t think mattered. I’ve been a fool and messed up your life.”
“You haven’t messed up my life; you’ve added to it, helped me to get past Mack. And, yes it does matter,” she whispered. “I love you and will not share you with any woman, even a mistake.” She pulled back to look at him. “You have to go and take care of whatever it is that draws you to her. If you can’t erase it completely, we can’t continue.”
“I can’t go anywhere. I love you, Laura. You are the per—”
“I know you love me Grayson, in a good way but not the special way you love the other woman. I loved Mack in a special way that I can never love another man. That’s not a lick on you, just a fact. You have that same unique feeling for someone else. It’s strong. It controls you; you don’t control it. If Mack were able to come back, I would dump you for him.”
“Laura, that’s callous.”
“It’s also true. You’d do the same if Margaret could return. There is no room for dissent, not in my heart. After all, you have to admit it isn’t fair to have someone else on your mind when you’re with me.”
“No…it’s not. But until you pushed it, I hadn’t faced it myself.” Before he could fully commit to Laura, or any woman, he had to reconcile his passion for Shannon, if that were possible.
Grayson took a deep breath and hugged her tighter. He struggled against her conclusion, but she had him in her crosshairs and just pulled the trigger.
“You have great insights, Laura MacIntyre. I wish you and Marvin or any other man lucky enough to win your heart, all the happiness this world can bring.”
As he drove away from Laura’s home for the last time, his old familiar friends, Emptiness and Loneliness, rode with him. A grown man isn’t supposed to cry.
~~~
An April cold front had moved in. Grayson reached into the closet, pulled out his old winter jacket and walked outside with Millie. They lay in the grass, and gazed at the Milky Way. The big German Shepherd placed her head on his leg and licked his hand. “I gazed just like this at the night sky when fighting ISIS and thought of my family. I hate loneliness, girl.”
Millie, tuned to her master’s emotions, released a small whine.
“It gnaws at the soul and will consume a man if he lets it. I hate to admit it, but before tonight, even when I was alone, I used Laura as a security blanket. I honestly didn’t know that’s what I was doing. She brought me joy and kept my emotions stowed and even. I hope I brought her happiness. I realized today that she was my first thought every morning and last thought at night. How can I let such a wonderful woman who gave me reasons for rising and taking on the day go away so easily?”
Millie lifted her head and her ears pricked up. She got up and went on reconnaissance.
Laura and Grayson lived almost as a married couple. They talked about everything under the sun, spent time with Austin doing things as a family. He loved them both but maybe not enough. He wondered with an aching heart what she would tell the boy about him and pictured her at home crying herself to sleep. His overwhelming sense of guilt bedeviled him relentlessly for hurting someone who treated him with nothing but love and respect.
“I’ve done it again, Margaret, disappointed someone I care about. I have a gut feeling that I’ll never learn, and it worries me that our son has trouble with his emotions.” You’re a piece of work, Grayson Dean.
Several times, he impulsively reached for his cellphone to call Laura, to ask if he could come over and hold her, love her, but he retracted his hand each time. That was pure selfishness on his part. “Margaret, I have to tell you that Laura reminds me of you. She’s sweet; she’s lovely; she’s
a strong woman. I’ve made a mess of this, darling. I’m wondering if the similarities between the two of you are the core of the problem and not Shannon.” The minute he said it, he knew he was lying to himself.
Shannon and his illogical desire to be with her had a stranglehold on him. He kept running scenarios through his head on what course of action to take. Should he go straight to her? No. That would only make matters worse. He could not inject himself into her life and be the cause of any conflict between her and her husband, assuming she was still married. He had to remain at a distance and observe, but he had to be close to her, to be able to see her. His drive to be near her was like an addiction only someone hooked on cocaine would comprehend.
He placed his cold hands in his jacket pockets, to warm them. His left hand felt something soft, perhaps a handkerchief. He pulled it out, and there was the napkin from Las Vegas, a bright full moon illuminating the imprint of Shannon’s luscious red lips calling to him. Millie, returned from her security patrol, nudged his hand and sniffed at the napkin. “No, Millie, you can’t have this.” He scratched the dog’s ears, arguing with himself and circling through his life until he lay limp in the grass. Millie snuggled against him. He petted her. “Tell me, girl, why is Shannon’s lure so powerful? Why can’t I simply ignore her and make a life with Laura?”
Millie licked his hand.
“Margaret, I need you!”
He awoke in the wet grass, Millie’s cold nose in his ear. He pulled himself up and went to his bed. His dilemma re-emerged, tormenting him. The moonlight peeked through the blinds and carried him to his last sweet night with Margaret, giving him a short respite from his quandary. In the twilight of consciousness, just before slumber conquered his body, Grayson Dean listened to Margaret’s soft, sweet voice and made his decision.