Bottom of the Ninth: Seattle Skookums Baseball (Game On in Seattle Book 6)

by Jami Davenport

  His brothers had both married and moved on. Had they ever worried about being their father’s sons? Zeke had always prided himself on being a better person than Isaac and Tanner, but was he really? He’d kept secrets all these years, never having the guts to step forward and never truly moving on. He hadn’t forgiven himself. Hadn’t learned to love himself for the person he’d become. He hadn’t even given himself permission not to be perfect.

  And he certainly hadn’t given himself permission to love, because he was still punishing himself and his brothers for their sins of the past and their father’s sins.

  Fernando hadn’t trusted him with his deepest secret. Maybe he’d sensed Zeke hadn’t been ready for it until now.

  Was Zeke ready to be the man he needed to be? To step up and face the past and carve out a better future?

  Chapter 23—You’re Out

  Paisley fretted all week about what to do, and finally decided. She would fight for love. She wouldn’t let Zeke run and hide.

  He didn’t call her once the entire ten days he was gone, but she held strong and gave him the time and space to sort everything out.

  Zeke finally came home from the road trip early Thursday morning. Paisley had waited up for him. Ignoring the surprise on his face, she threw herself into his arms and kissed the hell out of him. He recovered quickly and kissed her back.

  She drew back, hands on his shoulders, and stared up into his eyes. “I missed you.”

  He looked down at her, one of those unreadable expressions on his face. She held her breath and waited for his response, forcing herself not to push him. “I missed you, too.”

  She smiled, feeling as if the weight of the world sitting heavily on her back for the past ten days had crumbled and disintegrated into dust.

  He took her hand and squeezed it. “We need to talk.”

  His grim expression stomped on her happiness and filled her with dread. She followed him to the deck and sat down on the love seat next to him. And waited. The next several seconds were the longest of her life.

  “Paisley, I do love you. I don’t want to lose you, but I’m afraid, afraid I might be—” He swallowed hard and stared into space. A muscle ticked in his jaw.

  Paisley stroked his arm, trying to offer what small measure of comfort she could. She heard him breathe in and out, saw his chest rise and fall with each deep breath.

  “I’m scared shitless I’ll be my father’s son.”

  “Because you went after your brother? That hardly qualifies.”

  “There’s more. The night after my sister died, I was drunk and in a bar I was too young to be in. A guy spilled beer on me and laughed about it. I beat the shit out of him and put him in a hospital. The only reason I didn’t get arrested was because he was on probation and shouldn’t have been there in the first place. Neither should I.”

  “Zeke, you were grieving. That doesn’t make you a monster like your father.”

  “I wanted to kill him. I really did. I enjoyed hitting him.”

  “You weren’t in your right mind. Neither of those incidents makes you your father’s son.” Paisley squeezed his hand, silently encouraging him to continue. He was silent for so long, she’d almost given up hope, but finally he cleared his throat and fixed his gaze on a point in the distance.

  “Our father abused us. All of us. Over and over. Our life was one big nightmare. After my brothers and sister moved out, it was just him and me. I was the focus of his wrath, his hatred, his anger. I was small for my age. He could still overpower me. I was beaten, whipped, stripped naked, and tied outside in the elements. Finally, the summer before my senior year, I grew a lot. I worked out. I buffed up. We fought one last time, and I hit him so hard I knocked him out. He never touched me after that. He told me he’d have the last word, because I would be my father’s son. I wouldn’t be able to escape being an abuser any more than he’d escaped his own father.”

  Paisley shook her head. “You’re not that man.”

  “But don’t you see? He is part of me. His genetics. The evil that he is lives inside me. I’ve proven it.”

  “No, Zeke. You’ve only proven you’re not perfect. You’re a work in progress like the rest of us. You are not the man your father was. I know what that man looks like. I’ve seen abusive men. You are not one of them.”

  “How can you be so sure when I’m not sure myself?”

  “Because I see the good in you that you can’t see. I see a kind, loving man struggling to be a better man. I see a man I’d be proud to have as a husband and a father figure to the kids.”

  “I need time. I need to come to terms with everything. I need to figure this out.”

  “I’ll wait for you.”

  “Even if my eventual answer isn’t the one you want to hear?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  Zeke stood and stared down at her. His blue eyes dulled with sadness. His face was shaded with sunken hollows and sharp lines. “I’ll sleep in the basement apartment.”

  He walked away.

  So this was the gist of it. He believed he’d do to her and the kids what was done to him.

  He didn’t believe in himself, and he didn’t believe in the healing power of love.

  And that was the biggest tragedy of all.

  * * * *

  When it rained, it poured. Despite always making Coach purses out of Walmart plastic bags, Paisley couldn’t spin this recent set of bad news into anything good no matter how she looked at it.

  Paisley disconnected the phone call and paced the floor. She came to rest in front of the wall of windows facing a sun-drenched Puget Sound, but this time the beauty was lost on her. No amount of sun could seep into the dark fear dwelling in her heart.

  Virgil had been released from jail after a recent set of charges had been dropped. He was demanding his children be returned to Idaho. There would be a preliminary hearing sometime in the near future. According to the attorney she’d hired to gain temporary custody, she didn’t need to attend the preliminary hearing. As for down the road; custody could go either way. At the least she could be required to return to Idaho. The courts tried to keep the children with their biological parents whenever possible. Virgil had managed to land a good job and was behaving as if he were a model citizen. Of course, his record proved differently.

  Paisley felt sick inside. She could run and hide, but for how long? She could fight, but that took money. Her future with Zeke was up in the air. Despite the money she’d managed to stockpile, her small stash of cash couldn’t make a dent in what a court battle would cost, and there was no guarantee that she’d win.

  After a night apart, Zeke returned to their bed the next evening. He’d crawled beneath the covers and made love to her. Neither of them mentioned their earlier conversation. He seemed to be taking it a day at a time, just as she was.

  Yet a thin ray of hope penetrated her fear. Zeke had spent every night with her since that night, but nothing was resolved.

  Paisley wanted to pour out her heart to Zeke about Virgil, but she held back, not wanting to influence his decision. She wanted him to be with her and the kids because he wanted to be with them, not because he felt obligated.

  As the time grew nearer for the preliminary hearing, she became more nervous, rather than less. She could be ordered to return the children to Idaho and leave them with Virgil until this matter was settled more permanently. Her attorney believed the judge would rule in her favor and not allow a change in custody until the court could examine both side’s claims.

  Paisley needed Zeke more than she’d ever needed him, but she held back that final piece of herself, just as he did. He may have confessed his secrets to her, but not all of them. Of that detail she was certain.

  * * * *

  Zeke stood in the kitchen watching the sun rise over the distant rooftops. He had fifteen minutes to kill before he left for the airport and the next road trip. It was almost September, and he was tired. The long season could be grinding, but the Skookum
s held on to a slim chance at one of the league’s wild-card spots for the play-offs.

  In some ways he looked forward to another week away and more time to sort out his thoughts and make his final decision, even though he felt as if he’d already made it the night he’d returned to bed with Paisley. He’d managed to stay away one night. That’s all he could handle. Letting her go appeared to be less and less of an option.

  “Mr. Zeke?”

  Zeke choked on his coffee and looked down to find Sadie tugging on the leg of his jeans. A kitten struggled in her other arm. “Yes?” he asked as he eyed the kitten.

  “Milk, please,” she said, putting the kitten on the floor.

  He poured her a small glass of milk and watched as she climbed onto the barstool and sat down, sipping carefully so she didn’t spill. He waited.

  “They’re all still asleep,” she explained.

  “I see.”

  She wrung the bottom of her pajama top with her little hands. Raising her head, she watched him with those big eyes of hers. “Do you hit people?”

  Zeke pulled back, feeling as if he’d been slapped, and stared at her. Surely she didn’t know about the incident with Isaac. “Uh, I— Hitting isn’t nice. I don’t hit people.”

  “Not even girls?”

  “Especially not girls.” He couldn’t fathom where this conversation was going, but he didn’t have a good feeling about it.

  “Don’t most boys hit girls?”

  “Not this boy.”

  “Oh.” She clenched her little hands together and kicked a leg of the stool with her bare feet.

  He was compelled to elaborate. “You don’t want to be around boys that hit girls. Brayden doesn’t hit girls.”

  “Did your daddy hit your mommy?”

  Zeke hesitated, torn between giving her the perfect family story and the no-so-perfect truth. “Yes.” At the thought of what his father did to her and to all of them, Zeke struggled to keep the anger from his voice.

  “My daddy hit my mommy a lot. She would make him mad.”

  Well, crap, did he ever know that story. He struggled for a way to answer her. She stared up at him with earnest blue eyes as if he knew all the answers to all the world’s problems, when he didn’t even know the answers to his own problems.

  “She was packing her suitcase.”

  Zeke went cold.

  “She didn’t move anymore.”

  A crucial piece of this story was missing. Zeke approached carefully. “What happened that she didn’t move anymore?”

  “Daddy came home, and Mommy told me to hide. I hid under their bed. They were fighting. Yelling at each other. Daddy hit Mommy then there was a loud noise. She didn’t move anymore.”

  Well, shit, this poor little girl had witnessed the death of her mother. They had more in common than he’d realized.

  “Were your brother and sister there?”

  “No.” She shook her head vigorously, sending her blond hair flying. “They were staying with Aunt Paisley, but I got sick so I stayed home. Daddy didn’t know I was there. He wrapped Mommy in a sheet and took her away. I never saw her again.”

  Her lower lip quivered and tears welled up in her eyes. She hiccupped and looked so lost and alone. Zeke pulled her off the stool and wrapped her in his arms. She sobbed into his shirt.

  “I heard Aunt Paze tell someone on the phone that he’s trying to get us back. I don’t want to go back to him.” She stared up at him with a tear-streaked face that broke his heart. “Can I stay here? Will you be my daddy?”

  “Oh, Sadie, I—” He couldn’t form the words around the lump in his throat. He wiped her tears with his thumb. “I’ll see what I can do.”

  He heard a gasp behind him and glanced up to see Paisley standing a few feet away. By the paleness of her face, she must have heard most of it.

  “Sadie.” Tears streaked down Paisley’s face. Sadie whipped around and ran to her aunt, hugging her.

  “It’s okay, Aunt Paze, don’t cry.” Sadie comforted her aunt, suddenly behaving older than her years.

  Paisley knelt down and grabbed her niece, holding her close.

  Zeke shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “I—”

  “It’s fine, I can handle it. Don’t you have a plane to catch?” Paisley looked at him over Sadie’s shoulder. Her beautiful face was streaked with tears, but her voice had turned hard and cold.

  “But, I—” Zeke didn’t know what to do. He felt completely inept and worthless.

  “Go. Please. Just go. I’ll take care of her.” Paisley glared at him.

  Zeke cleared his throat and tried to find words.

  Zeke watched them, more conflicted than ever. He glanced at his watch. He was going to be late for the flight. He debated missing it altogether, but the team was counting on him down the stretch. He couldn’t afford to stay home. There were times when Zeke really didn’t like his job, and this was one of them.

  “Go,” she said again.

  He’d call Paisley as soon as they landed and discuss everything with her.

  And he meant everything.

  Chapter 24—Extra Innings

  Zeke knew he’d made the wrong decision as soon as the plane left the ground. He should’ve stayed with Paisley and requested a personal leave of absence.

  She needed him, and he’d been a coward and run like hell as soon as things got tough, and it didn’t get any tougher than a five-year-old telling him she’d witnessed her father killing her mother. He should know. He’d seen the same thing at ten, and he’d never, ever forgotten. Nor had he forgotten the horrendous aftermath, that one last nightmarish secret he withheld from anyone and everyone, his private hell. Guilt tore at him. He’d never spoken up after all these years. Only he could put his father exactly where he belonged: in prison for life.

  Now this sweet little girl confessed to seeing a similar act by the one man in this world who should be protecting her, not destroying her. Zeke wanted to wrap his fingers around that fucker’s throat and squeeze until he didn’t scar this world with his presence.

  Shit.

  That’s the way Zeke’s father would’ve handled his problems. Zeke was better than that. He had to be better. And he’d prove it, because those kids needed him. Even more, he needed them. And Paisley.

  If only he could be the man they deserved. He still didn’t know if he could, but he knew he had to stop being a coward and at least try.

  After the plane landed, the team loaded on the bus and headed directly to the ballpark for the evening game.

  Zeke found a semiprivate place outside the locker room and called Paisley. “How are things?”

  “Okay.” She sounded odd, a little off, but her tone shouldn’t surprise him. She was trying to come to terms with what had taken place this morning.

  “How does Sadie seem?” He’d worried about both of them.

  “Kids are so resilient. She’s running around in the yard with the other two.”

  “That’s good. What should we do next?”

  “I called my attorney. He’s going to contact the detective on my sister’s case. They’ll be sending a local detective over later today and a therapist who specializes in children dealing with this type of trauma. If they can get the same information from her, they’ll charge him.”

  “I see.” Zeke did see. That little girl had more guts than Zeke. If things worked out as they should, her father would soon be serving time for her mother’s murder, while Zeke’s father had been walking around unscathed for fourteen long years.

  It was time Zeke manned up and demanded justice for his own mother and damn the consequences.

  “Paisley, are you sure things are okay? You sound stressed but trying to hold it together.”

  A long silence had him checking the screen on his phone to make sure he was still connected.

  “Virgil is out of jail. He was denied custody today in a preliminary hearing. If he’s charged with murder, he’ll never get custody. If he’s not—” />
  “Do you think he would stand a chance at custody?” Zeke shuddered at the thought of that monster getting his claws into those children. They were Zeke’s responsibility now. He gave a start as he realized that was how he’d been thinking of them for quite a while.

  “Probably not. But I’m afraid that he’ll come after them. He sees them as his possessions, just like he saw my sister as his property.”

  Zeke knew the type. Oh, yeah, he knew the type all right. He’d had years of up-close-and-personal exposure to abusive personalities. He made a split-second decision.

  “I’m flying back after the game tonight. I’ll tell Coach it’s a family emergency.” They needed him more than this team did.

  “You don’t need to do that.”

  “Yeah, I do. We’re family, Paisley, and it’s time I started acting like a member of that family.”

  “I love you, Zeke.”

  He smiled into the phone, feeling better than he had in a very long time. “I love you, too, honey. Don’t wait up for me. It’ll be late.”

  “You know I will anyway.”

  He chuckled as his world brightened considerably. Together they’d help the kids get through these next several months. And together they’d give him the courage to finally face his own personal nightmare.

  * * * *

  Paisley put the kids to bed and wandered back downstairs. She watched the remainder of Zeke’s game. He texted her when he boarded the plane. His direct flight from Milwaukee wouldn’t land in Seattle until about 2:00 a.m.

  She checked all the doors and windows, set the alarm, and waited for Zeke. Flipping to a family movie channel, she attempted to immerse herself in a feel-good movie.

  She was jumpy, and she had no reason to be. Virgil was in Idaho. He had no idea where she actually lived.

  Her phone rang. And she jumped to her feet. Her heart pounded in her chest. Glancing at the display, she attempted to calm herself. “Zeke,” she answered in a too-shaky voice.