by K. K. Allen
Jaxon nods. “I know. I get it. And you know what? We could have worked through it, but things got…” He shakes his head, refusing to finish his truth, but I already know. “Timing was not on our side.”
I swallow, understanding completely. “My father ruined it.”
“Maybe,” he says with a sigh. “But you were mad at me when you ran off into the woods that night. So I blame me for that, not your father.”
“Jax, no.” My heart squeezes, realizing that all this time, all the regret I feel, Jaxon has felt the exact same thing.
“And then you were upset that I betrayed your trust by confessing the truth to the cops and that courtroom,” he continues. “But you know what? It’s something I will never regret. I don’t think I could have ever lived with myself if I hadn’t spoken up. Whether your father did what he was accused of or not, what he did to you—to me—was unforgivable. Your father held a gun to my head, Aurora. He was unpredictable and hostile. Whether he meant it or not, he did and said what he did. That may have been something you wanted to keep to yourself, but it was for the wrong reasons. I wouldn’t change a thing. And I’m sorry for how shitty that makes our situation.”
Fuck.
“Okay,” I say, accepting all the feelings, thoughts, and actions I once questioned. “I’m here now.”
“Are you? Are you here to stay, Aurora? Because if you’re not, tell me now.”
Why does it feel like he’s giving me an ultimatum? I hate that. He needs to understand that my being back isn’t about him. And as much as I love that we’ve reconnected, I’m not sure if here is the best place for me to be in the end.
“I came here without a plan. I didn’t even think you would still be here. I just—”
Jaxon’s eyes bore into mine, both love and hate in his expression. I ruined us. He ruined us. There’s no going back; there’s only forgiveness.
“You just what?”
My fingers dig into his sides. “I just wanted to feel whole again. I thought it was this place that made me feel whole, but now I’m starting to realize it was you. I might not want to stay here, Jax, but I know I don’t want to be away from you.”
His lips crush mine, and then I’m in his arms. I wrap my legs around his waist, and he carries me from the room filled with my past, down the hall to the kitchen, and toward our future.
The motorcycle ride back to my cottage is bittersweet. Jaxon takes his time getting there and starts his goodbye with a lingering kiss.
“I’m part of an art committee in Asheville,” he explains as we stand at my door, my arms wrapped around his waist as I gaze up at him. “Every now and then they have fundraisers they ask me to be a part of. There’s a three-day art fair they want me to judge. I walk around, schmooze, check out the pieces, ask questions, and then hand over my selections to the board. It doesn’t pay much, but they let me promote my business for free.”
I have to bite my tongue so I don’t ask about Valerie. This sounds suspiciously connected to her. Will she be there? Will he see her? Trust was never an issue between us before. Then again, I was young and naïve, and there weren’t any Valeries then.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
I shake my head. “Nothing.” I smile. There’s no way I’m going to divulge my insecurities about another woman after the day we’ve just had. “So, you’ll be back Wednesday?”
He nods as he moves in for a kiss.
“See you when you come back,” I whisper before his lips touch mine. But even as he kisses me, the words ache.
We’ve made a breakthrough in us, and it’s not something I want to press pause on until he comes back to town. I already know the risk of waiting years, and I don’t want to see what could happen in three days.
I watch with a heavy heart as he walks to his bike and throws his leg around it before revving the engine and giving me a wink. “I’ll call you.”
“When?”
He laughs. “Just have your phone on you, Waterfall Eyes.”
I can’t contain my grin. “Fine.” And I feel that bubble in my chest. That nervous flit of excitement at the start of something new, something meaningful. It’s life and love, exactly as it’s meant to be.
I settle onto my couch, too restless to sleep just yet, too hyped up from the feels of today—the rushing falls and the memories that came with it. I can almost feel my hair whipping around me through the woods as Jaxon maneuvered us around the rough mountain terrain. It’s all so familiar, but at the same time, it feels different. Better.
When we were young, everything had to be hidden. Kept a secret. But now that we aren’t worried what anyone thinks, there’s so much more I want to do with him.
I smile and pick up my phone again, finally getting to the messages that have been piling up over the last few days. Messages from Scott and Aunt Cyndi I’ve been avoiding for too long. I stop at Scott’s messages, and even though I’d like to delete them and ignore the pain I must have caused him by leaving, I know I can’t.
Tension wracks my gut as I read, every single message a polite plea to call or text back. I’ve been ignoring him for days even though I promised myself I would be a better friend. Just because I need to be selfish right now doesn’t mean Scott deserves to be ignored.
Scott needs to know I’m okay in a different way than Aunt Cyndi does. Scott needs to understand that I’m happy, as painful as that might be for him to hear. But I can’t bring myself to do any of that now. Not while I’m still figuring things out.
With a heavy sigh, I set down my phone and settle into the couch, close my eyes, and dream of the next time I’ll see Jaxon.
Creek Café is bustling the next day. Luckily, Claire is here to open the store with me. There’s some sort of hiking challenge happening this week, so all of downtown is teeming with people.
By the early afternoon, the crowd has finally thinned out and only a few stragglers remain. I’m cleaning the counter when Claire shimmies up to me with a wiggle in her brows. “Do I get three guesses to find out what that ridiculous smile is for?”
My face flushes as I shake my head. “Nope,” I tease. I didn’t even realize I’d been smiling like an idiot all morning, but now that she mentions it, my cheeks do hurt.
When her eyes burn lasers through me, I give up. There’s no use hiding it anymore. “I spent the day with Jax yesterday, okay? Happy?”
“Oh yeah?” she says, her smile widening. “Mountain Look again?”
I shove off the counter and fold my arms across my chest, my cheeks flaming with heat. “Do you have to make this difficult? What do you want me to say? You know we have a past.”
“Sounds like you have a future, too.”
I groan and roll my head back. “It was perfect. Yesterday, the night before—”
“Wait, what happened the night before?”
Laughing, I shake my head. “You and your damn questions.”
“I’m a mutual friend. I deserve to know what’s going on between my business partner and employee.” She grins again, and I smack her arm.
“You are horrible.”
“Well, if it makes you feel better, Danny and I are excited to see it. To see Jax happy, anyway. We’ve had enough of his brooding to last a lifetime. And we’re happy for you too, Aurora. Danny told me how hard things were for you back in the day. I hate everything you had to go through with your father and the town. And considering the people here are still being assholes, I’m glad you’re sticking around.” She pauses and bites her lips before speaking again. “You are sticking around, aren’t you?”
I shrug. “I don’t think I’m ready to have that conversation yet, Claire. As much as I love being back and being with Jax, I don’t exactly want to make a home out of the cottage.”
“You want to sell it?”
I sigh and nod, hating that I’m talking to Claire about this before Jaxon. He deserves to know my feelings too. “I think I do. Not right away, but I know I do
n’t want to keep it forever.”
Claire is about to speak when the door chimes, alerting us to another customer. We look up to find Tanner in full police getup strutting our way, his gaze aimed at me.
“Afternoon, ladies. Jaxon happen to be around today? Studio looks to be closed.”
“Nope. He’ll be back Thursday. Anything I can help you with, Tanner?” Claire asks, her curious eyes on him as she refills the napkin holder.
Tanner shakes his head, hardening his eyes on me. “Nah, just need to talk to your boyfriend.” His brows shoot up. “Pops spotted his bike in the woods yesterday around Hollow Falls. Just wanted to remind him to be careful this time of year, that’s all. Lots of tourists. I’d hate for someone to get hurt.”
Heat flames my cheeks.
Tanner leans in closer. “And we can’t have any funny business going on in the shops after hours, either. Pops said Jaxon wasn’t alone the other night in the studio. Said he had to break something up.”
“I’m not sure what you mean,” I return with a swallow.
Tanner rolls his eyes and leans closer. “You know how pops gets when it comes to indecent exposure. Said he caught you and Mills out in the open back in the day. Don’t be repeating history, June.” Heat scales my chest at his accusation.
Claire moves between us before I can respond, forcing Tanner to look at her. “Is that all, Tanner? You can talk to Jax on Thursday if you want to stop by. Otherwise, we’ve got a business to run.”
He winks at her. I get the sense he still loves stirring up trouble and that Claire is used to it. “That’s all for now, darlin’.” He flashes her his bright white smile and nods at the espresso machine. “I’ll take a coffee while I’m here. My usual is fine.”
Claire moves in front of the register with a sugary smile—too sugary to mean anything good. “Sure, Deputy. That’ll be two fifty.”
His eyes narrow. “I didn’t bring my wallet.”
She pouts theatrically. “Oh, my. That’s unfortunate, isn’t it? Come back when you have it, and I’ll be sure to whip you up that coffee.”
Tanner lets out a frustrated puff of air before turning on his heel. “I see how it’s going to be. You ladies watch yourselves out there.”
As soon as the door shuts behind him, I let out a laugh as Claire lets out a half-groan, half-scream.
“The only reason that asshole has a badge is because of his weird father,” she says. “They think they’re hot shit because the crime rate in this place is at a record low, but that’s only because it was a ghost town for years. They’re starting to panic now that tourists are returning in droves. Their luck is going to start running out, and they won’t know what to do with themselves.”
“That makes no sense. Shouldn’t the growing tourism make them happy? Without people, they wouldn’t have jobs.”
She waves away my logic with a flip of her hand. “Oh, girl, yes. It should, but Tanner and Brooks have always preferred quiet around here. They want to keep things simple.” Then a devilish smile takes over her face. “So, I take it you and Jax took a detour from the trail yesterday?”
I shrug. “We went to Hollow Falls. Nothing unusual. We used to go there all the time when we were younger. It’s not flooded with tourists, so we always preferred it. Anyway, we thought someone was watching us and took off.”
Claire makes a face. “You think someone was watching you? Why do you think that?”
I shrug. “We heard someone there. Whistling.”
“That’s creepy, Aurora.”
I don’t tell her the rest of my suspicious thoughts in fear of sounding too much like my father. But someone almost ran us off the road the other night, and while Jax and I thought it was a drunk driver, I’m starting to wonder what lengths folks will go to in this town to see me gone.
I shiver. I was too wrapped up in Jaxon yesterday to think much of all things combined. “Yeah, I guess the whistling was pretty weird. I just figured whoever it was wanted the falls to themselves. Teenagers trying to spook us … or something.”
Claire shakes her head and goes back to refilling dispensers. “All I know is my Danny chose the strangest place to work. He could have gone anywhere. Anywhere at all, but no. He wanted to come back to his roots. He wants to be sheriff one day, you know.” She sighs and leans against the counter again. “I tried to tell him that would never happen. Not with Tanner next in line.” She narrows her eyes at me. “What is it with you people and this small town, anyway?”
I laugh. “I’ll tell you as soon as I figure it out.”
We say our goodbyes when Amber comes in to take over for us early in the evening, but instead of walking to the parking lot, I head down to the river and just walk. I used to love coming here and watching the sun set behind the mountain, so that’s what I do.
It’s a perfect night. Clear skies, orange hues fading into purple and blue. The gentle rhythm of the river sliding over the rocks. When the show is over, I walk back up the hill to the strip of shops and enter the small grocery store at the end of the block. I need to pick up a few things for the house—wine being at the top of the list.
I’ve just selected two bottles of my favorite red and started down the aisle toward the produce section when a familiar figure strolls around the corner pushing a grocery cart. Tanner stops when he sees me, appearing just as surprised as I am.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, my tone accusing as my heart beats triple-time in my chest. Obviously he’s here for the same reason I am, but I’m still reeling from his attempt to intimidate me earlier.
Irritation stretches across his face. “What does it look like?”
I let out a sigh and tighten my grip on the cart’s handle. “Look, Tanner. I appreciate you watching out for the town, but until I give you reason to find me a threat, get off my back, okay?”
His cheeks redden and his eyes narrow. “You don’t seem to get it, so let me try this again. Since you’ve been back, the town’s been on edge, and it’s stirring Pops up. I don’t like it. The June name is like a curse word around here, and you being here brings back unwelcome memories for everyone.”
Something twists in my gut. “That’s not fair, Tanner. This is my home too. The town doesn’t get to just shoo me away because of something that happened seven years ago. Something I’m not responsible for.”
He lets out a sigh. “Trust me, doll. I know you have a point, but that doesn’t change what happened and who caused it.”
My eyes darken as I leave my cart to step up to him. “Yet out of everyone still living in this town, I’m the only one directly affected by what happened. I was his victim, for Christ’s sake.”
“Which makes things even weirder. No one understands why you came back here, Aurora. And you lied to me.”
“Lied to you? I have no—”
He scoffs, cutting me off. “There’s no fiancé. Claire told me on Danny’s birthday. You lied, Aurora. Why’d you need to go and do something like that?”
I want to scream. “I thought you’d be more inclined to give me my space if you thought I was here with someone else.” It sounds stupid saying it out loud, but it doesn’t matter anymore. I shake my head, frustrated. “Look, Deputy. If you hear anyone saying anything about me and how I don’t belong, you tell them I’m not going anywhere until I’m good and ready. What do they care anyway? My dad is dead.” My breathing comes fast and hard. I hate saying the words out loud.
There’s a flicker of something in Tanner’s eyes, and I think about how he was part of the search team that looked for the missing hikers and failed to uncover any sign of them except for the tree carvings.
He’s bitter. Him and his father. That’s what this is about, and I don’t have to listen to it any longer. “See you around, Tanner.”
Without letting him say another word, I stalk past him to grab the rest of my groceries. He doesn’t follow, perhaps too stunned by my disobedience, but I don’t care. He’s not the
voice of the town. He doesn’t get to intimidate me into leaving again. And neither does anybody else.
The short ride home is quiet as I maneuver the dimly lit streets. It’s not until I hear the crunch of gravel beneath my tires that I begin to breathe a bit steadier. When I reach the front door, I set down the bags to unlock it.
With a deep breath, I busy myself with putting away the groceries and opening a bottle of wine. I pour myself a glass and head straight for the back patio, not even bothering to put on my suit before I slip into the hot tub naked. My muscles instantly relax, and I inch down until my chin is just grazing the top of the steaming water. Opening my eyes, I look up to find the twinkling blanket of stars above, a comfort to my darkest thoughts. I trace the constellations I once knew so well.
My father was obsessed with the sky and all its intricacies. He liked to talk about our infinite universe, filled with black holes and asteroids. But that’s not all the sky meant to Henry June. He looked at the sky as if it carried the answers to the universe. A universe that could be so perfectly solved just by tracing the stars with his eyes. It was his form of meditation.
“There will be times when the little things in life will steal your time. They’ll catch you off balance and you’ll lose your way. You’ll forget the entire reason you set out on your journey. When that happens, when you realize you’ve lost your way, look up, Aurora. The answers are in the stars.”
So that’s what I do now. I find the one that glows the brightest, and I focus on it. Breathe deeply. And suddenly, my anxiety begins to shrink, and my purpose comes back in a rush. I’m here to move my life forward. The town will be forced to accept that in time. All I can do is show them I’m not going anywhere.
My lungs fill with air. I find peace in the stars, just by doing as my father said. Look up and breathe, Aurora.
The nearby snap of a twig steals me from my meditation. I’m not sure how long I’ve been zoned out, but the sound has an instant effect on my heart. It stutters in my chest as I pull myself up from the water to look around. Soft and steady night sounds fill the air as a light breeze rustles the surrounding leaves. It’s a beautiful night, one I wish Jaxon was here for.