by J B Cantwell
No. No. No.
I took the stairs two at a time, not caring when the effort made my skin crack again.
“What are you doing?” Mom called from downstairs. As I gripped the string hanging down from the attic door, I heard her footsteps on the stairway. “Aster, get back here! I’m not done talking to you.”
But I couldn’t wait. I couldn’t delay. I had to know, had to see for myself.
I wrenched the door open, and as I pulled it down, a ladder unfolded. I hauled myself up the rungs, and just as I stuck my head inside the musty space, I felt Mom’s hand grip my ankle.
“Where do you think you’re going?” she demanded.
I shook my foot free and continued up into the attic.
“He took the gold,” I said, breathless. “Oh, God. What are we gonna do?”
“What? What do you need gold for?” she asked, climbing up behind me.
I ignored her. I found the single light and flicked it on. The space looked just like I had left it half a year ago, piled high with boxes and books. Without waiting to explain, I dove in, madly searching through every open box, trying to remember what the one I was seeking looked like. Around me, books and clothes and old trinkets flew as I scoured the place for the one little box that held the key to balancing the Fold, to getting my life back, to saving all the people I had left behind in the Triaden.
In the darkness, my hands closed around it, the old, wooden jewelry box. I was panting as if I had run halfway across Aria. I slid down to the ground and held it in my lap, hoping that it was just as I had left it the last time I had been in this room.
I opened the lid and slipped my hand inside, searching for the familiar snarl of jewelry, the long forgotten treasure gathered hundreds of years ago by my own ancestor for the very same purpose I wanted it for now.
To balance the Fold. To reinsert the gold, so rare and precious in the Fold, into the core of the misaligned planets. To foil the Corentin’s plans before he could take the any farther.
I willed it to be there. I prayed for it to be there. I begged the universe above to let it be there.
But the box was empty.
Mom was crying again. I hadn’t noticed her enter the attic. She sat down beside me, wiping her tears on the back of her sleeve.
“Baby, what is going on with you?” she asked, overwhelmed. “You’re scaring me. Please tell me. Tell me where you’ve been all this time.”
My fingers were still searching every inch of the empty box. Could it be hidden somewhere inside? Maybe there was a secret compartment. But in my heart I knew the truth. He had come for the gold, taken it. Why, I couldn’t imagine. But it was gone. I turned to Mom.
“What Dad told you is true,” I said. “About the warrior. A champion, they call him. Me, actually.” I caught her eye, tried to get her to understand, to believe me. “I didn’t run away, Mom. And nobody took me, either. I’ve been on another planet this whole time, trapped there. A lot has happened, and I will have to go back eventually. I came back here, back to Earth, to get the gold hidden in this box. It was left here by my great, great grandfather Brendan two hundred years ago. Left here for me.” I looked down at the empty box. “We have to find Dad.”
It sounded insane. I knew it did. But it was still the truth.
“I know it sounds crazy,” I said. “But Cait will tell you the same.” I imagined Cait’s older brother, Rhainn, at the mercy of the Coyle back on Aeso. Remembering his imprisonment slammed a weight over my chest. “We don’t have much time. We need to find Dad.”
She looked up at me slowly, and I could see in her eyes she didn’t believe me.
“It’s just the same,” she said, shaking her head slowly. “It’s just like Jack. You’ve gone crazy.”
My heart fell. I shook my head.
“He was never crazy,” I said, the truth of my own words sinking in as I spoke them. “Not really.”
She turned away, leaned her head down into her palms. I put one arm around her shoulders, but she shrugged it away.
I sat there with her for a time, tried to figure out the right thing to say. The only words that would have comforted her were lies, and I didn’t have it in me to deceive her into doing what needed to be done. Her crying slowly faded, and she wrapped me in her arms again, slowly rocked me the tiniest bit, as if I were still her sick baby boy.
“You have to believe me,” I finally said. “I’m not crazy, Mom.”
My heart was breaking as I removed myself from her grasp. I had yearned so many days and nights for the feeling of being held by her, for the comfort of knowing that everything would be okay, that she would make it so.
But I found she could not comfort me now. Not until she understood the truth.
I stood up and started to move towards the doorway. I would have to wait until tomorrow to fully search the attic in the light of day. Just in case something had been left behind that I might now understand. Maybe I would find something that would help her understand, too. Something that would help her believe.
When I reached the hole in the floor, before I took the first step down the ladder I turned back.
“Are you coming?” I asked.
She didn’t look up. She was acting like her worst nightmare had come true, and for a moment I wondered if she would have rather gotten the news that I had died all those months ago. I could imagine the future she feared for me now, thinking that I had lost my mind just like Dad. Thinking that I would follow him into madness instead of choosing to stay with her.
As I took the first steps down the ladder, I resolved to somehow convince her. I would make her see.
They’ll all believe in the end. When he comes for them.
But all I could do in that moment was leave her there, not ready to accept the truth, crying into her hands.
CHAPTER FOUR
I woke to the sounds of cartoons. In the night, someone had spread a woven blanket over me as I slept, and I pulled it up over my head, relishing the familiar smell of the old farmhouse. The sun shone through the windows, bathing me in warm light, the clouds chased away for the time being.
The night before I had told them the story, the true story, of me finding Almara’s map in the attic, of how it had transported me to Kiron’s field thousands of light years from here. When I got to the part about Jade getting possessed by the Corentin, the supreme force of evil in all the Fold, Grandma gasped. She kept opening her mouth to speak, and then shutting it again, seemingly thinking better of what it was she wanted to say.
Grandma had gone oddly quiet upon hearing my story again, this time with much more detail than before. And when Mom recounted what Dad had said upon learning of my disappearance, Grandma had retreated within herself. She sat on the cushy armchair that I knew was her favorite, her legs folded beneath her, staring into space in silence.
If one thing had been different about my story of the Fold, it had been in the telling. Nobody could deny that I was calm about it, as calm as I could be, given the circumstances. Unlike Dad, I didn’t pace or rant or see things that weren’t there. I simply told the events just as they had happened. I simply told the truth.
But in the end, I had fallen asleep next to where Cait had laid, their verdict about my tale still hanging heavily between us all.
I heard the click of the television as someone turned it off, then Cait’s scampering footsteps as she ran to me. I peeked out from behind the blanket and saw Mom, looking flustered, as if she had been running around all morning while I slept. Grandma sat across the room at the kitchen table, her hands wrapped around a mug of coffee.
“Up you get,” Mom said, grabbing the blanket and pulling it off me in one big sweep.
“Hey!” I argued. “What are you doing?”
Cait climbed onto the couch next to me, either trying to protect me or seeking protection herself, I couldn’t tell.
“We’re going to the city,” Mom said. She plunked my boots down in front of the couch and stood back, crossing her arm
s.
So, she’s made her decision.
She didn’t believe me.
“Why would we go to the city?” I asked cautiously, sitting up.
“To have you checked out,” she said.
“What do you mean, ‘checked out’?” I asked.
“Just get your shoes on,” she said, turning to Grandma. “Cathy, you coming with us?”
But Grandma didn’t respond, only sat there staring just like she had the night before.
“So you don’t believe me, then?” I asked. “Is that what this is about?”
Cait, sensing that another argument was in the works, crawled behind me and rested her head on my back.
“You need a doctor,” Mom said. “This is just like what Jack did.” Her voice cracked, and I could tell she was on the verge of losing it again. “I’m not going to live through that again, Aster. We’ll get you settled, get you on the right medications, and then—”
“I’m not crazy, Mom!” I said, trying not to shout. I stood up from the couch, Cait’s nervous fingers clawing at my arm. “I’m telling you the truth about what happened. I’m not going anywhere other than to find Dad.”
“You listen to me,” she said, her voice low. She walked towards me, and I took a step backward at the threat in her tone. “I’ve been searching this whole damn world for you since you left eight months ago. I’m not going to do that again. I’m not going to lose you again. You still haven’t told me where you’ve been, and that’s fine. You can keep your secrets if that’s what you really want. But if you think for one second that I’m going to let you go off chasing your father just because whatever he’s told you has turned you against me, you’re sorely mistaken.”
I sighed, rolling my eyes at her.
She grabbed me by the arm and started dragging me from the room.
“Hey!” I said. “Get off!”
I ripped my arm from her grasp and she turned back, surprised. She had never known me as strong, only the weakened boy who had barely ever argued with her.
“I’m perfectly fine, Mom,” I said.
Cait ran up behind me, gripping onto my legs. I looked down at her. I needed her backup.
“Cait, what’s the funnest thing you and I have ever done together?” I asked.
She looked up at me, her eyes wide and conflicted. Then, when I nodded my reassurance, she spoke.
“Run,” she said. “You’re super fast.” Her face broke into a smile at the memory.
“You hear that?” I asked, turning back to Mom. “I’m healthy now, Mom. My heart is strong. I’m strong. And in the Fold I’m faster than a cheetah.”
She made to grip my arm again, but I was too fast for her.
“You are my son,” she said. Her face was alarmed. Now, her sick kid thought he was as fast as the fastest land mammal on Earth. “You need a doctor, and you’re coming with me whether you like it or not.”
I flailed as I backed away, trying to avoid her grasp. Cait began to cry, and Mom continued to try to catch hold of me.
“That’s enough!”
Instantly, the commotion ceased.
It was Grandma. Nobody had noticed her standing from the table amid the argument, but now she had both hands pressed into the wood and stared at the group of us with a fierceness I had never known she possessed.
“If the boy can run, let him prove it,” she said.
Staring at me the whole time, she walked around from the table and towards the sliding back door. Opening it, she stood aside, indicating we should pass.
She knows something. Something she’s not telling us.
But what?
“Cathy,” Mom said, suddenly shocked. “What do you think you’re doing? You know Aster can’t run.”
“I don’t know that,” Grandma said. “It’s been a while since we’ve seen him try, hasn’t it?”
“There’s no hospital out here, Cathy,” Mom said. “Where will we take him when he collapses?”
But I didn’t give her the opportunity to answer that question. I caught Cait’s eye and leaned down to whisper.
“I’ll be right back. Promise.”
Then I broke free from her tiny hands and ran for the door before anyone had a chance to say anything else.
The morning sun felt warm on my healing skin. In the distance, I could hear Mom shouting after me. She was going to be furious with the lot of us, but I didn’t care. I knew the truth.
My feet pushed hard into the dirt, already dry and crumbly after yesterday’s rain. It felt good to run. I wished I could show them my true speed, the way my feet flew over the ground in the Triaden. But though I was a normal, mortal kid on Earth, my body remembered the tricks it had learned over the past several months, when I had been something more. I told every muscle, ever fiber and cord woven within my burning legs how to move at maximum capacity, just as if I were bounding through the fields behind Kiron’s house.
And I flew. As fast as Earth would let me.
I didn’t stop until sweat broke out across my face. I turned back, and in the distance all three were specks against the horizon. Echoes of their argument just barely reached my ears, and I smiled. Partly, I was relieved; what I had experienced yesterday had been real. I was no longer sick. Truly.
I took a deep breath and pushed off, back towards the farm. I was in for it, and I knew it, so I pushed harder. If only I could force her to watch, force her to see what I had become, then we could stop arguing about details and get down to business. As I made my way closer, I put on a burst of speed, racing towards them, willing them to understand.
Twenty feet away, right on the cusp of what I was feeling more and more certain would be victory, my foot hit a chunk of dirt looser than the rest, and I slipped. I was going so fast that I tumbled, rolling through the remnants of the field, coming to land on my back, squinting my eyes in the bright sun.
Mom shrieked.
I laughed.
She was next to me in seconds.
“Aster!” she shouted, even though she was right beside me. “Are you alright? What were you thinking?”
But I couldn’t stop laughing. It felt so good to lose control, to crack up, just like it had felt good to burn my energy running across the field.
Besides, it was funny.
I rolled over, sitting up, and looked at her. I was breathing hard, but evenly, and I grabbed her hand and placed it up against my chest. For a moment her fingers tangled within the fat stone link of Kiron’s that hung around my neck. She looked confused, but then her face changed to amazement. She could feel my heart beneath her hand. She could feel my breathing, hard but even. And she could see the smile on my face.
“Do you believe me now?” I asked, finally pushing down the hysterical laughter and meeting her gaze. “I’m healed. How would that ever be possible if I had been here the whole time?” I let go of her hand, and she stared at it, confused. I stood up and walked towards Grandma, who was, for the first time since I had returned, smiling her old, free smile. As I strolled over to her, she opened her arms wide, and I fell into them. I knew I had her convinced.
I turned back and found Mom still sitting in the dirt, staring vacantly at her hand. I started back towards her, and as I did she rose from the ground and faced me.
“It’s not possible,” she said. “None of this is possible.” She looked like she was trying to wake herself from a disturbing dream, one in which it hadn’t been determined if it would turn lovely or nightmarish.
I put my own hand over my chest and felt the steady drumming beat of my heart. My fingers brushed up against the link, just as hers had, and I had an idea. Reaching back, I unclasped the necklace and held out the stone.
“I know,” I said. “I know it all sounds crazy. Trust me, when I first got there I thought I had lost my mind. But it’s real.” I walked closer, holding out the stone in front of me. “I’m going to show you something now. Something you really won’t believe. But you’ve got to.” I stopped and aimed the link slight
ly to her left. “Be right back.”
My heart thudded, but this time with nerves. Would Kiron’s link work here, so far from where it had been created? I spoke the command, and instantly I knew my answer. I felt the world flatten out all around me as I was forced into the jump, tumbling out of it a moment later unknown miles away. I sat on the ground, waiting, giving them a minute to sit up, to realize that I was gone, to ask themselves how I had done it.
Magic.
It was the only answer. And once they believed that answer, the rest would follow. It had to.
I stood up, taking in the world around me, now on my own without Cait beside me. How unusual this had all been, returning home. It had been filled with comfort and heartbreak, a bittersweet re-entry into my old life. I did not expect to feel this way.
But excitement was building within me. They would have to believe me now. I raised my arm, pointing the link back in the direction of the house.
When I landed the second time, I found my footing more quickly as I adjusted to the rough magic of the link combined with the forces of this planet. Drawn by the sound of impact, not of my body but of the portal opening on the other end, I heard her screaming as she raced towards me.
“Where are you?” she yelled into the field, searching through the dust to find me.
I walked calmly towards her, emerging from the cloud, hugging her as the force of her body hit mine.
She was crying again.
“Aster, I don’t understand,” she said, gripping onto me hard.
“It’s okay, Mom,” I said, patting her on the back. “I told you. I didn’t run away.” I broke apart from her and held out the link. “I found one of these, a link, in the attic last summer. I didn’t mean to do it, but I spoke the command and was transported to the Fold. I’ve spent the whole time trying to get back here.”
She looked between the link and my face, but her confusion was overpowering, and I could tell she couldn’t decide if this was real or a dream.
“It really is real,” I said.
“It is.” Grandma walked slowly towards the two of us. She stopped, putting her hands on our shoulders. She looked happy. Light. Like a kid who was facing something unexpected and wonderful, but who hadn’t quite figured out what it was yet.