by Julia Sykes
My breath caught at his inadvertent admission. “I’m falling for you, too,” I said quietly. “I don’t want to be apart from you, not when you’re going through hell. Not when I know I can help you. Will you tell me what happened? What did you see?”
He pressed his lips to a firm line.
I squeezed his hand. “Let me in,” I urged again. “Please.”
“Do you remember the Water Tower Place terror attack?” he asked, his voice dropping to a hollow monotone. “I was there. It was… horrible.” A small shudder ran though him, and I gripped his hand more tightly to anchor him to me. “Before I joined the Bureau, I was an Army Ranger. I saw fucked up things then, too. But they didn’t debilitate me. I’d served and protected. I’d done good things. But this… It was carnage. And every horrific thing I’d ever seen spilled out of some place where it had been locked in my head.”
“You blame yourself,” I surmised quietly. When he was a Ranger, he’d been able to cope with the traumatic things he’d seen because he thought he was fighting for the greater good. But something about facing the aftermath of the terror attack had been different for him. Guilt had set in. I could see it in the anguished lines around his eyes and mouth, and my background in Psychology made me familiar with traits common in those who suffered from PTSD.
“You sound like Dr. Larson,” he said.
“Then Dr. Larson must know what she’s talking about. Why do you feel responsible for the terror attack?”
“Because I failed them,” he said heavily. “I joined the Bureau to protect them, but they were innocent civilians. I should have prevented it. If I were better at my job, if I weren’t a failure—”
“You’re not a failure,” I cut him off. “That’s your father’s voice in your head. You couldn’t have seen that attack coming. No one did.”
He blew out a long sigh. “Dr. Larson said the same thing.”
I nodded my approval. “She sounds like a good fit for you, then. I’m not going to be your therapist,” I reassured him, “but I do want to be here for you. You can talk to me. You’re safe with me.”
“But you’re not safe with me,” he said, his voice strained.
I ran my fingers through his hair, soothing him as he did for me. “You say you need me to trust you, and I do. Now I need you to trust me. I can help you. I want to. Please let me. Don’t push me away.”
“I don’t think I can push you away,” he said hoarsely. “I’m a selfish bastard for it, but I want you.”
“I want you, too,” I breathed. “We’ll be more careful. We can meet here to be together while we’re at Quantico. Once I graduate, we won’t have to hide anymore.”
“I’m going to get better,” he swore. “I’m going to be better for you. When I’m cleared to go back into the field, I’ll request a transfer to wherever they assign you.”
My heart swelled. “You mean that? I know we haven’t known each other long, but I feel—”
He silenced me with a fierce kiss, taking my mouth deeply and thoroughly, until my head spun. He pulled back slightly, just far enough that we shared every breath.
“I feel it, too,” he said. “I’m not letting you go.”
I smiled. “I wasn’t going to let you.”
He grinned. “My bossy little kitten. I think you need a reminder of who’s in charge.”
He flipped me onto my back and drove into me. My body welcomed him, prepared for him under any circumstances. He made love to me, long and hard. We weren’t ready to say it aloud yet. It was far too soon for that. But I felt it just the same. When I shattered in his arms, I allowed his name to issue from my lips, imbuing it with the words I couldn’t say.
I love you.
Chapter 12
Jason
Seventeen Weeks Later
“What’s this?” Natalie asked as she trailed her fingers over the red satin corset.
“A corset,” I responded, smiling.
She rolled her eyes at me. “I know that. I meant, why did you bring it? It’ll be harder to fuck me if I’m wearing that. Wouldn’t you prefer me like this?” She gestured down at her naked body.
I’d stripped her as soon as we’d made it to the safety of the motel room that had become our secret meeting place. I remained in my suit, denying her when she tried to undress me. She’d made her cute little pout, but by now, she was accustomed to the power dynamic between us.
I closed the distance between us and ran a reverent hand down her side, exploring the curve of her hip. Every time felt like the first time. I couldn’t get enough of her, even though I’d had her beneath me dozens of times. I’d never tire of exploring her body.
“You’re perfect like this,” I told her. “But I don’t think you’re ready for me to show off your naked body to a room full of strangers.”
She gasped, but the way her pupils dilated told me she was intrigued by the perverse prospect. I filed that away for later.
“What are you talking about?” she asked, perhaps more breathily than she’d intended.
“I’m taking you to a BDSM club.”
She blinked. “There are clubs? Why would we go to one?”
“Consider it a graduation celebration.” Natalie finished training at the end of next week, and her graduation was already guaranteed. Soon, we wouldn’t have to hide our relationship. “A coming out party.”
“And I have to wear a corset?” She eyed the ensemble I’d selected for her, including the tiny black lace skirt. “No way will that cover my ass.”
I grinned. “That’s the idea.”
She touched the final item I’d laid out for her. “And what’s this? Don’t tell me they’re…” She swallowed, recognizing very clearly what was attached to the black headband.
“Those are your ears, kitten.”
She looked at me levelly. “I’m not actually a cat.”
“No. You’re my little sex kitten. And I want everyone to know it.” I reached into my pocket to retrieve her final surprise. “That’s why I got you this.”
She stared at the thin strip of black leather. “Is that a collar? Really Jason, this is silly.”
I cupped her pussy, teasing two fingers between her wet folds. “Is it?” I challenged. “If it’s so silly, why are you creaming all over my hand?”
She flushed a gorgeous shade of pink and cut her eyes away. I touched the collar beneath her chin, allowing her to feel the supple leather as I redirected her gaze to mine.
“The collar isn’t about making you my pet. Although I think you like that idea,” I said with confidence as her slick juices slid over my fingers. “The collar marks you as mine.” I stared into her lovely sapphire eyes, peering straight into her soul. “I love you, Natalie,” I finally said the words for the first time, and a sense of completion settled over me. I’d craved to tell her how I felt for months, but now I could finally say it. “Dr. Larson cleared me to go back into the field,” I told her. “As soon as you’re given your assignment, I’ll put in my transfer request.”
She threw her arms around me and buried her face in the crook of my neck. “I love you too,” she said, her voice hitching with emotion. “God, I’ve loved you for so long.” She pulled back so she could study my face. “I knew you could do it,” she said fervently. “I knew you could get better. And if you ever have an episode, I’ll be here to support you.”
“I know you will.” I’d been humbled by her unwavering support during the course of my treatment. And the trust she placed in me, the sense of personal power I found in her willing submission, bolstered me in a way I’d never have thought possible. “I couldn’t have done it without you,” I said, my own voice cracking.
“I’m so proud of you.” It wasn’t the first time she’d said it, but every time she did, I couldn’t help but marvel at her praise. My father had never offered a kind word, and my mother had left him when I was too young to even remember her.
Natalie gave me everything I’d so desperately needed to be complete: co
ntrol, confidence, love. Even before the drugs, I’d lived my life to spite my father. It had been a hollow, ugly way to live. Now, I lived for her.
“I love you so much.” I couldn’t help saying it again. The words had been locked in my chest for so long, and it was the sweetest relief to release them at last.
She beamed at me. “I love you, Jason.”
“Will you accept my collar?” I asked, desperate to put it around her delicate throat, to mark her as mine forever.
“If it means I’m yours, then of course I will.”
“Lift your hair for me.” I’d intended for the command to be gentle, but it came out rough with the depth of my emotion.
She complied immediately, exposing her neck to me. With reverent hands, I encircled her throat with the thin strip of leather. She stared into my eyes as I buckled it closed at her nape, her breath catching as I secured it in place. I traced the line of the collar with my fingertips before hooking my finger through the silver ring set into the front of the leather. I tugged her toward me, and she gasped as I imposed my control over her. I caught the soft sound on my lips, tasting it on my tongue. I took long minutes to savor her, exploring the feel of my collar around her throat, reveling in the fact that she was mine.
“I’m your Master now,” I told her when I finally came up for air.
Her brow furrowed. “My Master?”
“Yes. I’m your Master, and you’re my sub.”
“Can’t you be… I don’t know, my boyfriend?”
I chuckled. “Do you want me to just be your boyfriend?”
She took a moment to consider. “No,” she finally decided. “I guess that’s not enough. And you’re definitely not a boy,” she purred the last, grinding her hips against my hard cock.
“I’m glad you think so. I want you to be so much more than my girlfriend, kitten. We’re in a D/s relationship now. You belong to me.”
“And you belong to me,” she said fiercely.
“Always,” I promised.
I kissed her again, lingering for a few minutes longer. Finally, I pulled away. “Time to get dressed,” I prompted. “I reserved a room for us, and I don’t want them to give it to someone else if we’re late.”
“All right,” she agreed, reaching for the outfit I’d laid out. She quickly shimmied into the barely-there skirt and strappy black high heels I’d provided. I helped her into the corset, taking my time to cinch it tightly around her, making sure she felt bound by me even though she wasn’t restrained. The way her skin pebbled in response let me know she felt my power slipping over her. She was so goddamn beautiful in her submission.
When I finished lacing the corset, I grasped her shoulders and turned her so she was facing me. I picked up the headband and slipped it on so it was nestled in her dark hair. Somehow, she managed to look absolutely adorable and insanely sexy at the same time: my perfect little sex kitten.
I gripped her waist and guided her over to the mirror so she could see herself. Fuck, she looked like a wet dream in her sensual outfit, with my collar around her throat. She touched her fingers to it, examining it.
“What do you think?” I murmured against her hair.
“I love it,” she whispered. She met my eyes in the mirror. “I love you.”
“I love you too, sweet kitten.” I’d never tire of saying it. “I have something else for you before we leave.”
I shifted her so she faced the wall, and I directed her arms to either side of her head, pressing her palms flat against the wood paneling.
“Stay,” I ordered before leaving her briefly to retrieve the toy from my overnight bag.
She craned her head back to watch me, and she licked her lips at the sight of the anal plug. My grin was a touch savage as I lubed it up and returned to her. I peeled her skirt up, exposing her gorgeous ass.
“Present yourself to me,” I commanded.
Keeping her hands on the wall, she took a step back, arching toward me and spreading her legs so she was open for me.
“Good girl.” I pressed the tip of the plug against her asshole, and it eased inside her. When it was halfway in, she began to pant and squirm. I swatted her ass in reprimand. “Be still.”
“But it’s so big,” she protested.
“It’s not as big as me, and I’ll be fucking this tight little hole tonight. I’ve been training you for this. I’m going to claim you in every way possible. Your body is mine. Mine to play with; mine to torment; mine to command. And tonight, you’re going to give me your virgin ass.” She whimpered as I began to slowly pump the plug in and out of her, stretching her a little more with each gentle thrust. “You want that, don’t you? I know you love when I plug your ass and fill you up. You’ve wished it were my cock, haven’t you?”
“Yes,” she whined. “Yes, I want that. I want you inside me.”
I nipped at her shoulder. “Yes, Master,” I corrected her.
“Master,” she moaned out my new title. My cock strained against my slacks, aching to get inside her and claim her fully.
“Later,” I ground out, for my benefit as much as hers. “You’re going to wear this for me until you can’t find the words to beg for release. I want you desperate, helpless. Then I’ll give you what you want.”
The widest part of the plug slid past her tight ring of muscles, and she closed around it. I tugged on the base, but the large toy remained firmly seated inside her. She mewled, sounding like a needy little kitten. I’d chosen her name well.
I smoothed her skirt down, covering her as much as the tight scrap of fabric would allow. I slipped my jacket over her shoulders, hiding her scandalous outfit. I didn’t want anyone seeing her like this until we arrived at the club.
She walked beside me on unsteady legs, her face tight with concentration as she stepped carefully. I knew she’d feel the plug shifting inside her as she moved, and it only made me crave her more. She was being so good for me, so compliant and perfectly submissive to my will. I could hardly wait to claim her ass for the first time, but I wouldn’t have that pleasure for quite some time.
It took half an hour to drive to the warehouse district where the club was hidden, and even once we arrived, I had to wait a while longer before I could have her. My plans for her dictated that we both wait, and the control I exercised over myself as well as her made me feel more powerful than ever.
When we entered the club, she stared around with open fascination. I allowed her to observe our surroundings as I slid my jacket off her shoulders and handed it over at the coat check. Several interested gazes swung her way when I revealed her corseted figure. A strange mixture of possessive fury and intense pride washed over me.
I hooked my finger through the ring at the front of her collar and pulled her into me for a scorching kiss, making sure everyone knew she belonged to me. She opened for me, surrendering on a sigh. I indulged in her pliant mouth for several long seconds before giving her space to breathe. Then I wrapped my arm around her waist and tucked her close to my side as I moved us deeper into the club.
I didn’t pause in the bar or the casual seating area. I was too intent on getting her to the private room I’d reserved to show her around properly. Although she jolted when a high, ecstatic scream emanated from the public dungeon, I didn’t allow her time to stare at the display.
“We can explore later,” I promised. “There’s so much I want to show you. But I don’t want to lose our room.”
I continued to lead her around the busy dance floor, toward the corridor that led to the private rooms. We passed a woman who gyrated her completely naked body against a leather-clad man.
“I don’t have to get naked in front of everyone, do I?” she asked, hesitant.
“No,” I reassured her. “We’re going somewhere private.”
“But then why did we need to come here?”
I shot her a wicked grin. “Because the motel doesn’t provide us with bondage furniture.” I turned more serious. “This is the world I live in, Natalie. I
want you to be part of it. But if you’re not comfortable here, just say the word and we’ll never come to a club again.”
She glanced around at the kinky opulence that surrounded us. “I… No. I don’t want to leave. But I don’t think I’m ready for any public displays.”
“As much as I’d love to show you off, I think I’d have to gouge the eyes out of any man who dared to look at you the wrong way,” I admitted. “Come. Let’s go to our room.”
I kept my arm braced around her waist as I guided her down the corridor, supporting her as she teetered on her high heels. She was becoming more affected by the plug inside her now that we were in the club. It had been tormenting her ever since I’d put it in, but now she was becoming aroused by our devious surroundings. Sounds of pleasure and pain layered with the deep, throbbing beat of sensual music. I could feel it vibrate in my bones, and I was sure it was making her pretty pussy wet.
We arrived at the room I’d requested, and I was grateful to find the door ajar. No one had taken the space yet.
I led her over the threshold and locked the door behind us, ensuring our privacy. While she stared at the equipment—a St. Andrew’s cross, spanking bench, and huge iron four-poster bed built for bondage—I began to loosen the laces on her corset. The hooks at the front eased, and the garment dropped to the floor. I slid her skirt down her legs, leaving her completely bare except for her fuck-me heels, collar, and cute little kitten ears. And the red base of the plug that was nestled between her ass cheeks.
I grasped her hands in mine and led her over to the spanking bench, guiding her to bend over the padded top. She didn’t offer any resistance as I buckled her wrists and ankles in place. She was perfectly sweet and trusting in her submission to me.
She was the most beautiful fucking thing I’d ever seen.
I took several minutes to study her in rapt silence, watching the wetness glisten between her thighs as she began to wriggle her hips in anticipation. I allowed her to press her clit against the edge of the spanking bench, and she began to pant as carnal craving overtook her.