by Kari Ware
"I'd like that, Win. I really would... but I think I need to be away from you for a while. Just to finally wrap my thick skull around this," he resumed running his hand through his hair like the normal Calder would, and such a simple gesture strangely filled me with relief that things would eventually be back to normal with us. If I had simply run away, I would have lost one of the most important people in my life. In a lot of ways, I considered him more of a family member than I did my own mother, as I had begun to realize since that night I accidentally walked into Showponies.
"What about Anna?" I asked, thinking about one of the other most important people in my present life.
"I'll talk to her in the morning, don't worry. What are you gonna do about Alex?"
"Already left him a message. Though I'm pretty sure he's not gonna call me back."
"Hey, Alex, it's Winnie. I didn't think you'd answer since you clearly have just as much difficulty talking to your wife, so this is just fine. I guess this is partly my fault for thinking that having sex with you would empower me or something equally idealistic, but you used me and lied to me and that's totally on you to live with. I just wanted you to know that as much as I believe you really had feelings for me, even just a little bit, you're a fucking loser, and you and your wife completely deserve each other. And, by the way, I don't think the Senator's gonna enjoy reading my concerned citizen's letter about how easily people are breaking into his place. Have a good life, Alex."
I snapped the SD card in half, fearing my fingertips would bruise beneath the pressure. I peered out my apartment door, checking to make sure Anna didn't happen to be in the hallway while I exited, and headed down the hallway after locking my door behind me. I unlocked my mailbox and placed the envelope inside, and I couldn't stop grinning as I locked it back up. I felt so much more empowered than having sex with Alex ever could have made me feel. With a little more bounce in my step, I headed out of the building and towards the dumpsters around back. I tossed one piece of the broken SD card into the opening of the first dumpster, following suit with the other half into the second dumpster. I rubbed my sweaty palms together, like you saw the people in the movies do when they felt accomplished in something, and decided it was time to head to Showponies.
After a long and semi-awkward hug on the beach, Calder walked me back to Showponies. We lived in opposite directions, and after many protests I convinced Calder it was perfectly fine for me to walk home on my own. He seemed very skeptical about the idea, but after reminding him that I had walked there on my own to begin with, he relented and told me he would give me a call in a few days and not to seek him out. The pit in my stomach sank down low; the way he spoke made me feel like I'd never see him again. But I couldn't really protest. He said he needed some time and space to figure out everything in his head, and I wanted him to be at peace with himself, even if that meant that I wouldn't see him for a while. It wasn't like I hadn't gone without seeing him before.
I watched him walk away beneath the streetlights, and I felt like it was the end of an old film and that any moment the camera would pan up to the night sky and the credits would start rolling. I wasn't totally sure where to go from here, at this point in my life. Was I supposed to just go to work and call my mom and act like nothing had happened? I turned around and began walking down the sidewalk in the opposite direction, ready to go home and sleep and have sweet dreams about other things that had nothing to do with Alex or Calder or anything for that matter.
"Winnie?"
For a split second, I thought it was Calder. But then I realized it wasn't his voice, instead a timid, low-timbered voice that was beckoning me. I stopped a turned a little, seeing the somewhat familiar face of Rob, Calder's stripper buddy. He was exiting Showponies himself, wearing a red tracksuit jacket and black basketball shorts and a pleasant smile. "Hey," I said, not really sure what else to say. I didn't know Rob that well, having only met him once.
"Hey, what're you doing out here so late? Calder already left-"
"Yeah, I know. I was just walking home." I said simply as he walked up towards me. I smiled at him even though I felt a little strange that he was just talking to me like this. He stood with his hands in his pockets, standing a good six inches taller than me. I felt like I would get a crick in my neck if I kept looking up at him.
"Oh, um...your boyfriend's not coming to pick you up or something?" He seemed to be struggling to find something to say, obviously finding this to be a weird situation that I would just be hanging out outside Showponies alone at 2 AM. Which actually was kind of weird. I shook my head dismally.
"That didn't work out. Turns out he's a sleaze."
"I... kinda got that feeling, since he was friends with Freddy. He's pretty sleazy, too. That's why I quit tonight." He smiled, looking very pleased with himself. Even without knowing him very well I was happy for him. I wished Calder had had the brains to quit as well. He needed to be better friends with this kid.
I gave him a nod. "Good for you. Now what are you going to do with yourself?" I unconsciously stood on my tiptoes to see him better without craning my neck so much. I leaned forward a little bit as my balance wobbled, and then fell back onto my flat feet. I didn't want to seem like I was trying to come onto him or something.
"I was thinking maybe going to the waffle house a few blocks down," he said with a hint of laughter in his voice. "You wanna come with me? I'll buy."
I thought about it for a minute. After everything with Alex and Calder, I was a little shaken. Putting on a strong front was a lot easier than actually feeling strong within you. I had some time to go before I could get back to the old me. Rob looked at me with dark blue eyes, so much darker than Alex's but still much lighter than Calder's.
I grinned.
Epilogue: The Take Back
"I just can't believe you're moving already. I don't want you to go!" I set the pile of Anna's clothes in her black duffel bag, hearing her sniffle behind me sadly. She was sitting cross-legged on the floor, folding the rest of her clothes with tears in her eyes that she was trying to keep from falling.
"I know! I'm gonna miss you so much. I'll call you whenever I can, time-zone permitting. Long Island is gonna be so cold and lonely," she replied rather sadly, but I knew once she got there her attitude would change. She had been cast in an HBO show that required her to move all the way cross-country, and she had found this success to be bittersweet when she realized that meant she had to pack up and leave in a week. Once she became big and famous she'd never worry about traveling again. I sat down on the couch in front of her, smiling as much as I possibly could.
"Anna, you're gonna be living your dream. Just make sure you visit me whenever you're in LA for all your future talk show interviews and magazine shoots, okay?"
With a small smile, she rose from her spot on the floor and wrapped her arms around me as tightly as she possibly could. "I promise," she said quietly, and I rubbed her back softly as I recalled the last time she had hugged me like this. Back when Calder finally called her and told her he was leaving to go back to Washington, and that he needed to work on himself before he could ever be anything for her. She had been upset but not cried, and I never told her about the kiss that Calder and I had shared. It was something only Calder and I knew about, and it wasn't worth putting her through. When I had talked to Dan a few months back, he told me that Calder was staying with him.
Two large boxes stacked on top of each other emerged from the kitchen, Rob's legs only slightly visible beneath them until he set them down beside Anna's duffel. "Alright, that's the rest of it. Want me to take it down to the car, Anna?" He asked in that polite, unassuming voice I had grown to become so fond of. He always sounded like he was talking to his grandmother whenever he talked to us girls, having adopted us as his new best friends once he left Showponies. Anna pulled away from me and nodded.
"Yeah, please. Thanks for helping out. I'm gonna go check and make sure you grabbed it all," She stepped carefully over my feet and aroun
d Rob, giving him a pat on the shoulder, as she headed through the kitchen back to her bedroom. My eyes flickered to the TV as she walked past, seeing the local news anchors talking about some new dog leash law. Along the bottom of the screen, I saw the lesser news stories roll across quickly and with little description. The one that read 'LA based architect setting records for highest child support payment in the state; Designer wife filed for divorce in May, expecting twins this summer...' gave me a silent satisfaction.
Rob walked over and planted a kiss on my head, and my heart fluttered. I didn't know what had changed with us, but his typical affection was becoming increasingly thrilling to me with every little touch. I was the one who said I didn't want a relationship with him, that I had been burned too much in the past couple months to even consider it. And yet here I sat, increasingly caving to his subtle advances. "So Anna said that we have to give her a parting gift," he said, settling on the couch next to me and putting a lazy arm along the back of the couch behind me.
I laughed a little. "Yeah, cause us helping her move wasn't enough." I looked over at Rob and felt my heart leap a little. Those dark blue eyes, that midnight blue gaze of his, was piercing through me intently, and it was like I could see the past few months replaying back to me in his eye: Us getting waffles in the middle of the night and laughing about how un-strippery he truly was, him taking me and Anna on a drive in his Jeep along the beach and getting pulled over, him showing up with pink carnations at Agacelli's on my birthday and asking me out (and my refusal), me staying on the phone with him for hours when his grandmother passed away in Pasadena, and the two of us taking Anna out to get piss drunk when she thought she bombed her first audition for the show she was now going to star in. I wanted to shudder; his gaze was so intense.
"Winnie, you know I've had feelings for you this whole time," he started, and I held my breath unconsciously. "And I've been trying to be cool about it, but I can't anymore. Please just go on a date with me. Let me take you somewhere nice, do something new."
"And you can't say no," Anna emerged from her room with a grin on her face, leaning against the wall and crossing her arms over her chest. "Because I refuse to leave before this all pans out!" I looked at her in surprise. I didn't really like being put on the spot like this, even though the nervousness and anxiousness running through my body was a pretty good indication that I had already mentally decided. Of course I had feelings for Rob; he was a storybook guy with chiseled good looks and manners you never found nowadays. He was so opposite than all the other guys who'd steered me wrong before. I looked back at Rob and nodded slowly.
"A date sounds incredible."
I take back what I said at the beginning of this little story: I'm glad it all happened. And I wouldn't change a damn thing about it.
End
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Kari Ware is a born and raised Michigander, currently living in her childhood home with her husband, stepson, and stepdaughter. She has been writing for more than ten years, essentially since she learned how to write sentences on paper! She is currently a stay-at-home mom and full-time student working towards a Ph.D. in Psychology and Masters in Law Enforcement.
Table of Contents
Prologue: Reunited
I.
II.
III.
IV.
V.
VI.
VII.
VIII.
IX.
Epilogue: The Take Back
ABOUT THE AUTHOR