“This is the last one.”
“All right.” Darius replied. “I guess I’ll go find something to do.”
“Why?”
He sighed and turned back. “I know I said I was here for you but I can’t be here when you go through all of his stuff and reminisce about your time together. That’s something you should do on your own.”
“Okay. Just don’t go far, okay?”
“I won’t. I’ll be right downstairs keeping an eye on Dirk. You just do what you need to.”
I nodded and he left the room.
I spent the day getting lost in the past. Every item I dug out of those crates had some kind of story about my time with Trever. At first, things seemed happy but that soon changed. The reality of why I was seeing that stuff again came to me and I fell apart.
I understood that I made the choice to leave but I did miss him and the thought of him trying to forget me hurt. I couldn’t fully explain why. I cared about him, yes but there was something else telling me it had to be more. He’s the one that has always been there when I needed someone and now he wouldn’t be. It were as if a part of my life had died.
I dropped what I had in my hand and left the room, sealing the door tightly behind me. I couldn’t even be in there anymore and only wished that there was some way I could forget as well.
Dirk was first that came to mind and I finally smiled again. I hadn’t realized that my hours spent in that room made me miss him so much.
It was close to dinner time and I took the long walk down the six flights of stairs to the first level. Dirk was first to greet me with a screech and ran over.
“Hi, Baby!” I picked him right up when he lunged himself in my arms. “Did you miss me?”
“Mama!”
“You’re done already?” Jaylyn asked.
My smile diminished while I slowly set Dirk back down so he could get back to playing. I looked right at Jaylyn who asked but that’s not who I saw first and I tried to answer calmly. “For now. I haven’t gone through everything but I just couldn’t—can you excuse me for a minute?” I sucked in a breath to keep my tears in and turned towards the kitchen.
I couldn’t even be around all of them. How was I supposed to survive like this?
“Ruby?”
I turned to Darius quickly, wiping my eyes. “I’m fine. You don’t have to.”
“You’re not fine. Everyone could see it.”
I broke down. I was unable to hide it any longer and let it all out in front of him accidentally. “How could he want to forget me? I don’t understand. I know I didn’t mean nothing to him. Why is he trying to make it seem like I did?”
Darius stepped towards me, trying to comfort me though it seemed difficult. I knew he didn’t care; he was actually happy about it but I obviously wasn’t and begged for a little more help without having to say it. “It’s not that he wants to forget about you, Ruby. It’s that he should but not in the sense that you never existed. He’s just thinking about what’s best for everyone and he’s right to. You said it yourself earlier.”
I tried calming myself. “Okay, yeah, I know but it’s just hard.”
“I know but it will get easier. You just need time. Things will get better.”
“I hope soon. I hate even seeing me this way. I could only imagine how you feel.”
“We’ve already talked about it. This is something you need to do and I’ll always be here for you no matter what it is.”
“Thank you but I think I’m done.”
“Are you sure?”
I nodded confidently with a smile. “Yes. I want to be passed this so I can live. He’s not going to stop me from doing it. It’s what’s best for us.” I truly meant it.
“Hey, is that Honey?”
I turned and a golden hawk was sitting outside the window, looking in.
“It is. What is she doing here?”
I approached and took out a message from the pouch on her leg. At first I couldn’t believe it and had to read it twice.
“What is it?” Darius asked.
I only looked at him for a moment and took the message with me out of the kitchen. “Adele!”
She stood right up from my voice and I handed it off.
“What is it?”
“Finally something to do but it won’t make you happy.”
She read the words I had to read twice silently to herself. “Jaylyn! Don’t start on that journal yet!”
I was surprised. “Her father’s journal?”
“Trever let her have it when we left. Jaylyn!”
“What?” We looked up and she was leaned over the railing to look at us.
“Put that in a safe place and get down here.”
“What’s wrong?” Zayden asked.
Adele had her eyes on him and didn’t look pleased. She had every right not to be. This was a disaster.
“What?” Jaylyn came off the stairs and interrupted the silence.
“We have to leave.”
“But we just got back.”
“And now we have a mission.”
“Really?” She sounded like it was an unusual occurrence now that there was peace.
I tried not to laugh while telling her. “Yeah. Remember Chan?”
“The guy at the Pier?” Troy asked.
“Yeah. Apparently, the guy I killed wasn’t really him but a decoy.”
“And he’s still a threat?” Zayden asked.
“The threat was that he planned to overthrow the capitol.” Adele said. “It didn’t matter who was ruling and it still doesn’t.”
“Okay but there’s no way we’re bringing the boys. Who are they going to stay with?”
I looked at Adele, already knowing the answer but I thought she was the better person to tell him.
“They’ll stay here with you.” She said. “This is a Kalu Assassin matter and that’s not you.”
“You expect us to stay behind while you go back into that town where people already know what the three of you look like? No way.”
“This isn’t up to you. It’s still our job. We can handle it. You only came with us last time because of the test.”
“I still don’t like it.”
“And you don’t have to. This isn’t a family outing. We let the three of you leave to do your job and now you’re going to let us.”
“That kind of defeats the purpose of spending time together, don’t you think?”
Adele looked at me like she really didn’t want to go on fighting about this. It would have been fine. We’re used to being apart now.
“Get ready.” She said. “Jaylyn, you too.”
She sighed and turned away first.
“I think you’re forgetting about one thing.” Zayden said.
“What?”
“Seth has never been away from you before.”
Adele’s mood slightly changed when she looked at Seth and that was something I haven’t thought of yet either. Dirk can’t go ten minutes without asking for me. How was he going to handle this?
“He’ll be fine. He could use some daddy time.”
“And what exactly am I supposed to do with him for three weeks?
“You’re talented. I’m sure you can figure it out.”
She walked to the stairs to get herself ready and I really didn’t know what I should do. I know they are their fathers but was leaving them here with them really a good idea? Darius has never had Dirk for that long by himself and Zayden just proved that he didn’t know how to be a parent without Adele’s direction.
“What’s that look for?” Darius asked.
“Nothing.” I said abruptly.
“You don’t think we can handle it?”
“No. I never said that. I just have my doubts. It’s going to be the first time you’re really alone with him and you won’t be able to bring him to me when he acts up.”
“I’m sure we can handle it, right?” He looked at both Troy and Zayden and their expressions were noticeably unsu
re.
“I’m going to let you really think about it while I get ready.”
I went for the stairs and Darius jogged to catch up. “Wait. You also know what going means?”
“What?”
“You’ll have to go to Dorlin.”
It was the first time that thought had crossed my mind as well and I didn’t know what to say for a few seconds.
“Well, it doesn’t mean I have to see him. I just won’t go in the palace.”
“Are you sure that’s going to work?”
“It’s not going to stop me from going if that’s what you’re trying to get me to do.”
“It isn’t. I just wanted you to be aware that you could possibly see him.”
“I’ll be fine. You should be more worried about you.”
He laughed. “I already said we can handle it and we will. I don’t want you to be thinking about that when you’re gone. You should stay focused on the mission.”
“You can’t ask me not to think of you at all because that won’t work. We’ll be fine and be back before you know it.”
We finally made it up to our room and I dressed for the trip. It felt kind of weird doing it but also kind of nice. It’s been so long that we’ve had a mission that I didn’t realize how much I actually missed it. I was almost looking forward to leaving.
“Let’s go!” I heard Adele call all the way from downstairs and looked at Darius.
He smiled and put his arm around me. “Better say goodbye to Dirk.”
It was the only thing I didn’t want to do but I went with him and Dirk greeted me as I stepped off the stairs. “Mama!”
“Hey, sweetie. Mama’s got to go.”
“Go with?”
“No, not this time. This time you get to stay with daddy and have all kinds of fun with your brothers. I won’t be gone very long.”
“Kay.”
“Where’s my hug?”
He put his arms around my neck and Darius stepped forward. “Easy, Dirk.”
“Love mama.”
“I know you do but she’ll be back soon.”
Dirk started to cry and hug me just a little tighter.
“Dirk, honey? Too tight.”
Darius pulled him right off me but he was still crying. “Mama! No!”
His eyes turned red and I stood up quickly to push Darius off him so he wouldn’t get hurt.
“Dirk, it’s okay. Calm down.”
“Maybe you should stay here, Ruby.” Adele said.
I turned my head while my son cried against my legs. “Are you out of your mind? I don’t know if you realized but we actually failed our last mission under the Queen’s rule because I killed the wrong person.”
“It’s not your fault. We all thought it was him.”
“Then I need to be the one to kill him for real and I will.”
“Dirk will calm down.” Darius said. “We just have to get him distracted.”
I was glad he was on my side with this and looked down at Dirk one more time. “I’ll be right back, okay, sweetie? Keep those eyes pretty for me. You don’t want to hurt anyone.”
He looked up at me with my golden eyes and smiled. “Kay.”
“I love you.”
He nestled his face against my legs then went to Darius, taking a hold of his pant leg. “Mama go bye-bye.”
“I miss you already.”
I blew him a kiss and Darius leaned down to kiss me. “We’ll be okay.”
All I wanted to do was believe him and I turned from my family.
Chapter 30
Darius
Dirk did well after Ruby had walked out the door. I didn’t think it would be a good idea to wait with her while she readied her horse, even though I knew I would miss her too. It just would have made things harder.
“Go pack.”
I finally turned my head to Zayden’s instruction.
“Why?”
“Why?” Troy rebutted. “How can you even ask that when you know where they’re going?”
I looked at both of them and only slowly figured out what he was insinuating.
“We’re going to follow them?”
“We can’t risk them going back there.” Zayden said. “I don’t care how much Adele says so. It was our secret job last time and it will be our secret job this time. They won’t even see us.”
“What about the boys?”
“Easy. We run them to Randal. It’s been awhile since father has seen them and I know my mother won’t mind getting the chance to watch them. They’ll be fine.”
“Except for getting there.”
“We can have them blind folded. It’ll be like a fun game. Hey, Seth? You want to go for a run with us?”
He started jumping up and down, moving just as fast as Zayden could around him. Even Rift was acting excited with him. How could I say no now? I knew they were right. I just thought Zayden was actually going to do what Adele wanted but I see that hasn’t changed. We’re about to do the opposite and she better not find out or the world’s existence is at stake.
“All right. Just like old times then but we’ll only really have to pack for the boys.”
“That’s why I said pack.”
I looked down at Dirk crouching at my feet. “Come on, buddy. Let’s go get your things. We’re going to go on a trip.”
“See mama?!”
I laughed to his excitement but was disappointed that I had to crush it. “No. We’re going to go to the White City to see your grandfather.”
He looked at me while he stood, utterly confused and it was clear that they don’t go there that much if he had no idea what I was talking about. That surely needed to change. I didn’t want Dorlin to be the only place my son knew as a home. We would never live there. Ever.
“We’ll give them a head start, first.” Zayden said. “Just so they don’t feel us brush passed them.”
I obeyed but I was skeptical about what would truly happen. Things would surely be different if they weren’t supposed to see us. What exactly would we do? Just watch them? That seemed weird and sheepish. I didn’t know if I could and never mention it to Ruby. I could see myself slipping easily and she’d become mad. I surely didn’t want that. Zayden may be used to Adele being mad at him but when Ruby’s mad, it threatens us and I vowed never to let that happen again.
I thought about it all the while I packed anyway, still exceedingly unconvinced we wouldn’t be spotted.
“And where are you going?”
Zayden opened the door, ready to leave but Ryon was standing there as if he just arrived here from a trip himself.
“Should I have to tell you?”
Ryon stepped inside, beginning to close the door as he spoke. “I’m going to stop you right there and say that’s a horrible idea. You can’t follow them and not get noticed. You’re too obvious.”
Someone at least saw what I did.
“We have to.” Zayden argued. “You remember—”
“Yes. I do. That’s why I’m going in your stead.”
Zayden held from laughing. “You?”
“I can protect them better than the three of you can when I have easier ways of not being seen. You won’t get within five miles before Jaylyn feels the presence of her precious Troy.”
He may have been right. Even Zayden looked briefly at Troy to know it was true.
“But can we trust you with this?”
Ryon smiled in confidence. “Can I trust you to keep Seth in one piece and not fall victim to marrying him off to yet another foreign Princess? Because if you can’t, I’ll be glad to let you leave and I’ll watch him.”
“I would never allow that.”
“Just let him go, Zayden.” I said, groaning from the constant almost bickering sound of their voices. “He would be better at it and this way we won’t have to lie.”
Zayden sighed loudly, a sign that he was taking my advice under strong consideration but—
“I still don’t like it.” He said.
> “And you don’t have to.” Ryon smiled. “Because you know he’s right. I can still pop in with updates if you’re going to be that concerned, even show you how it went when they’re safely on their way home.”
“And by pop in—”
“I mean knock at the door like I just did. I haven’t forgotten.”
Zayden was still disgruntle about the idea but said the words that would mean he officially agreed. “Fine but don’t let them see you at all.”
“I won’t. I’m even better at it than when we used to follow them before. I’ll be completely invisible.”
“Then get going.”
Ryon laughed and comfortably sat himself down. “What are you talking about? They won’t even get to Dorlin for days for the official briefing then it’ll be like eight more before they’re down there. I have time to spare.”
“And you have to do it here?”
“I do when Seth just saw me get here.”
Just as he said his name, Seth went right over, springing to get in his lap with Rift right there to greet him as well. He always did when he saw Ryon.
Zayden didn’t look pleased though. “Fine but just a few days. You don’t know what kind of trouble they might get into on the way down there.”
“I have a few ideas but it’s probably better for your sanity if I didn’t disclose those to you.”
“Yes please.”
So, it was now confirmed that we weren’t going, not even just to the city to be around other people but I guess it was all for the best. I was the most qualified patron to be watching Dirk right now. I knew nights were going to be rough on him with his mother being gone and possibly if he gets rough with others on accident. I needed to be with him to stop it so I guess I accepted this arrangement most of all.
Ryon wasn’t bad company. I actually got quite used to him already and even though Zayden acted resentful at times, I knew he liked having him too. He knew more about kids than us as sad as that was to admit. I didn’t even realized how much it seemed we were really away from them until we got all of this time together but I liked it. It was an experience we all needed to have.
Chapter 31
Jaylyn
We arrived in Dorlin to get through the ever so easy briefing for our mission but Ruby didn’t come into the palace. Trever was first to see us and I saw the hope in his eyes but I was sad for him. Ruby wasn’t ready. It hadn’t been that long but he forced himself to understand.
Rising Sun (Fate's Intent Book 9) Page 15