by Amanda Abram
I gaped at her. “That’s not true.”
She laughed, but there was no amusement to be found there. “Isn’t it? Logan, you lied on that compatibility test for selfish reasons, not even giving a second thought to the fact you were robbing somebody—me—of a genuine match. And then, when you found out you’d been matched up with me, you stood me up, not caring how that would make me feel. I cried all night, thinking my date didn’t show up because he saw me and wasn’t interested.” She paused for a moment. “Although, I guess I was right about that.”
That familiar knot began to form in the pit of my stomach. I remembered the night I stood her up. How effortless it was for me to just walk away. I hadn’t cared if it hurt her or not. It hadn’t even been a thought in my head.
“Emma—”
“You took me on that Ferris wheel, knowing that I was afraid of heights. That must have been really amusing for you, watching me freak out and have a panic attack. Classic Emma, huh? I’m sure it made for a great story to tell your friends.”
I furrowed my brow. “No, that’s not—”
“You got my hopes up, making me think I could actually get Matt to like me, but when it appeared that maybe he was starting to, you talked him out of it by telling him how much of a loser I am. Why? So you could rub it in my face when I realized it was never going to happen? So you could tell me to my face that I’m a loser and that nobody will ever love me?”
Did she really believe that? Did she actually think I would stoop so low as to spend nearly two weeks of my summer with her to just pretend like I was helping her get Matt?
Of course, she did. Why wouldn’t she?
“I wouldn’t do that,” I said, my voice defeated. At this point, I was wasting my breath.
She ignored my claim as she bit her lower lip. To stop it from quivering. “You stole my first kiss,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
The lump in my throat began to dissolve. “I didn’t…”
What I wanted to say was that I didn’t steal it. She let me have it. And yes, I did take it, but we shared that kiss.
“Emma,” I said softly. “You have to listen to me. What you heard on that video—”
“What I heard on that video,” she interjected, her voice eerily calm, “was proof that you’re a heartless jerk. You always have been, and you always will be.” She paused for a moment before adding, “Your mother would be so disappointed in you.”
It was like she had slapped me across the face. Punched me in the gut.
She might as well have.
I could tell she regretted the words as soon as they were out of her mouth, but by that point, it was too late. The damage had been done.
I stepped back and raked a hand through my hair. “Wow,” I breathed. It was the single harshest thing anyone had ever said to me. Her words cut through my chest like a dagger and stabbed me directly in the heart.
She stared at me, wide-eyed and stone-faced. Her face was expressionless, but the tears that had begun flowing down her cheeks revealed her true feelings.
She didn’t mean it, I tried to assure myself. She’s just speaking out of hurt and anger. And maybe that was true, but that didn’t stop it from completely and utterly destroying me.
Because she was probably right.
“I guess we know how we really feel about each other now,” I said coolly, willing myself not to break down in front of her.
Emma’s face crumpled as she nodded. As more tears began to flow. “Yeah,” she managed to say, “I guess so.”
Our eyes locked for a moment and despite everything, I wanted to pull her in and hold her close to me. I wanted to apologize profusely and whisper against her hair that nothing I said on that video was true; that I only said it because I had feelings for her at the time, but I just didn’t know it yet. I wanted to hold her face in my hands, brush away her tears with my thumbs and then kiss her until we both ran out of breath.
I wanted to fix what I’d broken.
But I didn’t get a chance to do any of that. Emma quickly turned, opened her front door, went inside the house, and slammed the door in my face.
I had ruined everything.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
LOGAN
I could feel my blood beginning to boil as I climbed behind the wheel of my Mustang and slammed the door shut.
I was mad.
Mad at myself for being so stupid. For not realizing or admitting to myself sooner that I had feelings for Emma. For saying horrible things about her to Matt that simply weren’t true.
I was mad at Emma for not letting me explain my side of the story. For thinking my mother would be disappointed in me.
I was mad at Matt for being the guy Emma was in love with, and for deciding—out of all the girls he could choose to date—that Emma was the one he was interested in.
But mostly, I was mad at Grace. In fact, words could not describe how angry I was at her for posting that video, which was why I was currently putting my car into gear and burning rubber out of the driveway.
Grace and I needed to have a talk, and I figured now would be a great time to pay her a visit.
It felt weird pulling up in front of her house. It had only been a few weeks since the last time I was over there, but it seemed like a lifetime ago. I had a lot of good memories of this house—of Grace’s bedroom in particular—but those memories were quickly fading.
I couldn’t get rid of them fast enough.
I was afraid she might have gone out early with her friends, so I was relieved to see her car was in the driveway when I arrived. I tried to remain calm as I got out of the car and walked up to her front door, but my fury came through when I pounded on the door. I could have just rung the doorbell, but that wouldn’t have allowed me to get some of my aggression out. The more I could get out of my system before I saw her, the better.
It took only a few seconds for the door to open, and suddenly Grace stood before me, looking like she was heading out for a photoshoot.
I studied her for a moment. Her makeup had been expertly applied. Her hair had been styled to perfection. Her curves filled out her halter top and short skirt as though the clothes had been tailored specifically for her.
But she couldn’t have looked more hideous to me at the moment and I found myself wondering how I’d managed to stay with her for so long.
Her lips curled into a sinister smile when she saw me. “Hello, Logan. What brings you by?”
She knew damn well what brought me by. My hands balled into fists at my sides. “What the hell is wrong with you, Grace?”
Grace’s smile only faltered slightly as she blinked innocently at me. “What are you talking about?”
“Cut the crap,” I said through clenched teeth. “Why did you do it? Why did you post that video?”
“Oh,” she said with a slight chuckle. “The video? That’s why you’re here? Logan, it’s no big deal.”
“No big deal?” I echoed. “You filmed a very private conversation without my consent and posted it for the entire world to see—tagging the one person you knew it would hurt the most.”
She rolled her eyes. “My fans wanted drama, so I gave them drama. Besides,” she said with a shrug, “you’re lucky posting that video is all I did.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Her smile disappeared as she stared at me with her cold, gray eyes. “Emma stole you from me. I could have—and should have—done a lot worse.”
I inhaled sharply and took a step back. This. This was what I was talking about to Emma, when I told her about why I’d lied on the compatibility test. I always had a sneaking suspicion that Grace would turn into a psycho if I ever broke up with her. I had no doubt in my mind that posting that video was the kindest thing she’d thought of. I shuddered to think of what other ideas she had come up with.
And I feared that whatever they were, it was possible they were still on the table.
“Listen, Gr
ace,” I said, my voice low, “you leave Emma alone. Do you hear me? She had nothing to do with why we broke up, and I’d better not find out you’ve concocted some other scheme to get back at her, or—”
“Or what?” She flipped her hair over her shoulder and placed her hands on her hips. Her eyes danced around my face as her smile returned. “Why, Logan, if I didn’t know any better, I would think you had real, genuine feelings for the nerd.”
I took a deep breath and held it, trying to keep my anger to a minimum. “So, what if I do?”
She smirked. “Logan Reynolds? Having real, genuine feelings for any girl? Not possible.” She stepped out onto the porch and slowly made her way over to me. “If you weren’t capable of loving me, you’re certainly not capable of loving some ‘boring, lame loser’ like Emma Dawson.”
I winced at her insulting words, especially considering they were mine, but quickly recovered and gave her a smirk of my own. “Grace, I’m more than capable of loving someone…just not you. And this right here is exactly why. Emma didn’t do anything to you. She didn’t do anything wrong, but you posted that video anyway because you’re a terrible person. You intentionally hurt someone who didn’t deserve it.”
Grace threw her head back and laughed. “Are you serious, Logan? You think I hurt Emma?”
“Yes, I do.” What did she think was so funny about that?
Her laughter subsided, and her smirk returned. “Then may I suggest you go back and watch that video again. Because if I recall correctly, those were your words, coming out of your mouth, spoken in your voice.” She took another step closer to me, invading my personal space. “I didn’t hurt Emma, Logan. You did.”
Lifting up her chin, she motioned past me and said, “We’re done here. You may leave now.”
She turned around, whipping her hair at me, and stalked back into her house, slamming the door behind her.
With a heavy, defeated sigh, I returned to my car. Grace was right. I was the one who’d hurt Emma. Sure, Grace should have never filmed and then posted that video online, but I never should have said any of those things to begin with. Why couldn’t I have just been the supportive best friend? Why couldn’t I have just told Matt I thought it was a great idea that he was planning on asking Emma out?
Oh, that’s right. Because I was selfish. Because I wanted her all to myself, even though I wasn’t the one she wanted.
Emma was right. My mother would be disappointed in me.
I drove home in a fog, paying only enough attention to keep myself from running stop signs or hitting pedestrians. I wasn’t even aware I’d pulled into my driveway until I came to a complete stop and turned off the car.
My phone rang beside me on the passenger seat. Reaching over blindly, I picked it up and answered it.
“Hello?” I said. Deep down, I was hoping it was Emma, calling to say she was ready to hear my side of the story. But the voice that spoke back to me was not hers. It was Matt’s.
“Dude, what’s Grace’s problem?” he asked into my ear. “I just saw that video she posted online. What a wench.”
I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. “I guess that’s one way to describe her,” I muttered.
“Please tell me Emma hasn’t seen it yet.”
“Oh, she’s seen it alright.” I leaned my head back against the headrest and stared up through the sunroof at the clear blue sky. “And now she hates me. More than usual, that is.”
Matt sighed. “I’m sorry, man. That sucks.”
“Yep. It does.” I paused for a moment. “You’re still planning on asking her out, right?”
It was Matt’s turn to pause. He was silent for so long, I thought maybe we’d been disconnected. “Matt?”
“No,” he said finally. “I’m not, actually.”
“What? Why not?” I sat up straight in my seat. “Matt, you need to still ask her out.”
“Sorry, man. Not going to happen.”
“This doesn’t have anything to do with what I said about her yesterday, does it?” I asked quietly, not wanting to know the answer.
He didn’t even miss a beat. “Absolutely.”
Dammit. This was all my fault. I’d successfully talked him out of wanting to date Emma. I was a terrible friend. Just a terrible person in general. “Look, Matt, I didn’t mean anything I said, alright? You’d be lucky to date Emma. Seriously, she’s—”
“Whoa, let me stop you right there,” Matt interrupted. “Logan, me not asking out Emma has nothing to do with what you said. It has to do with why you said it.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Matt chuckled softly. “Dude, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out you’ve got the hots for Emma.”
I groaned and lowered my head onto the steering wheel. “What are you talking about?” I asked, feigning ignorance.
“You know what I’m talking about. The way you were talking about her yesterday, I could tell you really didn’t like the idea of me dating her, and you were trying to turn me off to the idea. At first, I thought it was because you actually believed the things you were saying about her, but then it all started to make sense. You don’t want me dating her because you want to date her. Logan, you’re in love with Emma.”
My jaw dropped as I sat back up. “I am not.”
“You are, too. And once I realized that, she became off-limits to me. You’re my best friend, Logan, I’m not going to pursue the girl you’re in love with.”
“I’m not in love with her,” I denied through clenched teeth. Did I kind of like her? Sure. Did I enjoy hanging out with her? Definitely. Was she an amazing kisser? Undoubtedly. But was I in love with her?
No. No way. I’d never been in love with anyone before. I wouldn’t even know how to be.
“You can deny it all you want,” Matt said, “but that won’t make it true.”
I sighed and shook my head. “Even if I was in love with Emma—which I am not—she’s not in love with me. She’s in love with you, Matt. You’re the one she wants. You’re the one she’s always wanted. She’s had the biggest crush on you for years now. If you want to be with her, then you should be with her. I’ll be fine with it. I swear.”
“Bullshit,” Matt said. “Look, Emma’s cool. I like her, but not as much as you apparently do. I’m not willing to ruin our friendship over a girl.”
Matt and I had agreed long ago that we would never let a girl come between us, and this was the first time that pledge was being put to the test.
It looked as though we had both kept our word.
And now, neither of us would end up with the girl.
“It doesn’t matter, anyway,” I mumbled. “Emma’s not a possession, and she doesn’t belong to either one of us. She hates me now more than ever, and she’s probably mad at you too because I’m sure she thinks you’re going to listen to what I said, and not ask her out because of it.” I frowned. “I really screwed this up, didn’t I?”
“Nah,” Matt said. “I don’t think so. Maybe she hates you right now, but she’ll get over it once she cools down. After you get a chance to explain everything, and tell her how you feel about her, I’m sure everything will be fine.”
I wished I could believe that, but I didn’t.
I opened the door and got out of the car. “Listen, Matt, I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Yeah, sure. Are you going to be okay?”
“I’ll be fine,” I lied and disconnected.
I shut the door and leaned my back against the car. I pointed my gaze toward the Dawson house and stared up at Emma’s bedroom window.
Turning my phone back on, I dialed her number. I knew it was a waste of time, and that she would let it go to voicemail, but I didn’t care. I had to at least try.
Sure enough, after a few rings, her pre-recorded voice spoke up, telling me she was unable to take my call and to leave a message.
I paused briefly after the beep as I contemplated hanging up. But I couldn’t do that.
“Emma,” I said, keeping my eyes on her window, hoping to see her appear at any moment. “I know you hate me right now, and I don’t blame you, but please…we need to talk. There are things I want to say to you, but I don’t want to say them over voicemail or a text. I need to tell you in person. So, please, call me back.”
I ended the call, feeling defeated. She wasn’t going to call me back. She didn’t want to hear what I had to say. Even if I had the chance to tell her, she probably wouldn’t believe me, anyway. I’d lost her trust and I was unlikely to ever get it back.
“Hey, Logan!” came a cheery voice from across the street.
I turned my head to see Riley making her way over to me. I hadn’t seen her since I’d abandoned her at the party the other night to go home and check on Emma and she’d seemed pretty perturbed about that at the time.
Great, just what I needed—another confrontation with a girl who hated my guts.
“Hey,” I said cautiously, forcing a smile onto my face.
Surprisingly, she returned the smile. Maybe this wasn’t going to be as bad as I thought.
“What are you doing?” she asked as she approached. She leaned next to me against the car and followed my line of vision over to Emma’s house. “Being a creepy stalker?” she teased.
I snickered and raked a hand through my hair. “What’s up, Riley?”
She shrugged. “Nothing, really. I’m so bored. Matt’s gone for the day, and all I’m left with over there is Jade and her weirdo friends, and I fear they may be preparing for some sort of satanic ritual or something. I had to get out of the house before I became their human sacrifice.” She paused and then added, “Although, I’m probably safe, considering I’m not a virgin.” She ended with a wink and grin.
I couldn’t help but laugh at that. After the morning I’d had so far, it felt pretty good.
“If you’re not doing anything today, would you like to hang out?” she asked.
I glanced down at my phone. It had only been a minute since I’d left that voicemail with Emma, and even though I knew she wouldn’t call me back, I would probably spend the entire day checking my phone every few seconds on the off chance that she would.