by Amanda Abram
“Hey, you thinking of leaving soon?” I asked him as he took a swig from the cup he’d just offered to me.
He shook his head. “We just got here.”
“Yeah, like two hours ago.”
“What’s the rush?” He finished off the rest of the punch and tossed the empty cup onto the floor with all the others.
I ran a hand through my hair. “I’m just not feeling it.”
He studied me for a second before saying, “Man, you’ve really got it bad, don’t you?”
I nodded. He was referring to Emma, of course. “You’ve done a great job trying to distract me, but nothing’s working. I just keep picturing her out with whoever was in that envelope and it’s driving me crazy. What if he’s not a nice guy? Like, sure, they have stuff in common, but what if he’s also a creep? What if he tries putting the moves on her and won’t take no for an answer. What if—”
“Logan.” Matt put his hand out to stop me from talking. “Stop freaking out about this. Emma is a big girl, she can take care of herself. Besides, I’m sure the guy is nothing but a perfect gentleman, who will treat her with nothing but the utmost respect. She probably had the time of her life with him today…”
His voice trailed off as he saw the expression on my face, which I’m sure mimicked that of a kicked puppy.
“I want to go home,” I muttered.
Matt gave me a sympathetic half-smile. “I was kind of planning on staying a couple more hours, but here—” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his keys. “Why don’t you take my Jeep? I’ll hitch a ride home with someone else.”
I glanced around the room and had a hard time finding somebody I would deem sober enough to get behind the wheel. “How about this? I’ll come back for you later. Just text me when you’re ready to leave.”
“That works,” Matt said with a grin. “Oh, yeah, before I forget.” He reached back into his pocket and pulled out my phone.
“Thanks,” I said, taking it from him. “Have fun.”
“Oh, I will,” he said. He averted his gaze to a redhead who was standing on the other side of the living room, smiling seductively over at him. I vaguely recognized her as a sophomore who went to our school. A cheerleader, I think.
I briefly admired his ability to move on so fast from one girl to another, but then I remembered he was never in love with Emma. He just thought it would be fun to date her, nothing more. He had nothing to move on from. His heart wasn’t broken like mine was.
I gave him a slap on the back before saying goodbye and making my way through the crowd, toward the front door.
After climbing into the Jeep, I decided to take the long way home. I always loved driving at night in the summertime. Windows down, radio blasting. I figured tonight would be a good night to just go for a drive, to clear my head. So, that’s exactly what I did. I drove all over town. Past Funland Park. Past Lover’s Lookout. Past the art museum. Past everywhere I’d spent any time with Emma this summer. And once I realized that’s what I was doing, I immediately drove home.
I pulled up to my house at around quarter to midnight. I was pleased to note that not only was Emma’s car parked safely in her driveway, but all the lights were off in her house.
She was probably fast asleep in her bed, already dreaming about her new boyfriend.
Scowling at the thought, I got out of the vehicle and locked it before heading inside the house.
As soon as I stepped into the foyer, I pulled out my phone to make sure the volume was turned up all the way. I didn’t want to risk not getting Matt’s text or call when he was ready to leave the party.
When the screen lit up, I froze immediately. I had received a text. Two hours ago.
From Emma.
Emma: Midnight. Meet me under the stars.
My heart began to pound against my ribcage. What was this cryptic message? Did she want to talk to me about something? And if so, what? Did she want to thank me in person for handing her soulmate to her?
I glanced at the time on my phone. It wasn’t midnight yet, so that was good at least. But what if she had been expecting me to respond during the last two hours? And because I hadn’t, due to the fact Matt had my phone, what if she had decided not to meet with me after all?
And where were we supposed to meet, anyway? Under the stars could have literally meant anywhere on the planet.
Except…
There was one particular place she could be referring to…
The place where we fell asleep together. Under the stars.
The abandoned lot at the end of our street.
I quickly ran back out of the house. For a moment, I contemplated taking my car to get there faster, but I didn’t want to wake the neighborhood with the roaring of my Mustang. Besides, I didn’t have to go very far.
So, I kept running. I ran as fast as I could toward the end of the street, being careful not to trip over any rocks or twigs along the way. Seeing as though there were no streetlights to help light my path, I was practically running blind. But I didn’t care. I needed to get there, and I needed to get there fast.
I made it there in less than a minute, which meant I had about nine minutes left to spare. I stopped at the end of the driveway to catch my breath and calm my nerves. Please be the right spot...
Turning on my phone’s flash, I slowly began my trek up the long driveway. When I got to the end of it a few seconds later, I knew immediately I was in the right place.
Emma was sitting cross-legged on a blanket in the middle of the empty lot. In her lap was an open book, and in one of her hands was a flashlight, shining down on the pages. I couldn’t help but smile at how adorable she looked. I almost didn’t want to disturb her.
Clearing my throat, I said, “I take it I’m in the right place?”
She jumped slightly at the sound of my voice as she pointed the flashlight at me. “You’re early,” she said, pushing herself up from the ground. “I wasn’t sure you were going to make it. I never heard anything back from you.”
“Yeah, sorry about that. Matt had my phone all day.”
She arched an eyebrow. “Why?”
To keep me from obsessing over you. “It’s a long story,” I said with a smile. I glanced up at the sky. “You’re lucky I knew where to go. There aren’t any stars out tonight.”
She followed my gaze. “I know. When I sent that text, I didn’t realize how cloudy it was.”
We fell into an awkward silence as our eyes met.
“So,” I said slowly. “Why did you want to meet me here?”
She bit her lower lip as she started toward me. She stopped when she was only a few feet away and folded her arms tightly over her chest.
“You’re a jerk,” she said, “and I hate you.”
I inhaled sharply as my heart sank in my chest. This was why she wanted to meet me here? To tell me how much she hated me? What, did her perfect match turn out to be a perfect loser, and now she was blaming me for that, too?
Unbelievable.
I instantly went into defensive mode and crossed my own arms over my chest. “Did you seriously ask me to come here just to tell me things I already knew?”
She narrowed her eyes into a glare. “I’m serious, Logan. You’re the worst. You’re selfish. You’re immature. You’re mean.”
“Okay,” I said, throwing my hands up in the air and backing away from her. “Look, you’re entitled to feel this way about me, and you’re even entitled to tell me all about it, but can this wait for another time? I’m just really not in the mood right now.”
You’ve already destroyed me enough for one day.
She shook her head back and forth. “No, this can’t wait. I need to get this off my chest. I let you speak your mind earlier, and now it’s my turn.”
Something in the tone of her voice made me think I really didn’t want to hear what she had to say. But she was right. It was her turn, whether I liked it or not.
“Fine,” I said, defeated. “Go ahead. Tell me all
about why you hate me.”
She seemed somewhat surprised that I would give in so easily, but I wasn’t going to fight it. If she wanted to rip into me about how much I sucked and how much she hated me, I would let her. Maybe it would help me get over her.
If it didn’t kill me first.
She slid off her glasses and set them to rest on the top of her head before continuing. “You know, you told me earlier that I make you want to be a better person. Well, you have the opposite effect on me.”
I didn’t know how to respond to that. “How so?”
“I snuck out of the house again,” she said. “And now I’m also trespassing again. And this time, you didn’t force me into doing either one. I did it all on my own volition. That’s not like me, Logan. You’ve said it yourself in the past: I’m a goody-goody. I follow the rules. But now…I’m breaking the law and my parents’ rules, and I don’t care! In fact, I like the way it feels to go against what I’m supposed to be doing. It makes me feel…”
“Alive?” I finished for her.
Her eyes locked onto mine. “Yes. Alive.”
I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. “Okay, I fail to see what’s so wrong about that.”
“Of course, you don’t,” she said, averting her gaze to the ground. “Logan, I’ve spent my entire life living in a shell, and I like it there. My shell has protected me from everything. It’s safe. But somehow, you’ve managed to crack that shell, and now I feel so exposed, and it scares me. And I hate you for that.”
I swallowed hard as a feeling of guilt started to form in the pit of my stomach. “Emma, I’m sorry. That was never my intention.”
She poked at the ground with her sneaker before returning her gaze to mine. “Wasn’t it? You were trying to change me so that Matt would be interested in me.”
“I know, and that was stupid. I get that now.” I paused and took a step closer to her. “You of all people shouldn’t have to change yourself to get a guy to like you, Emma, because…you’re perfect.”
Despite the darkness that surrounded us, I could see tears welling up in her eyes, and I feared I had said something wrong.
With a sniffle, she reached into her back pocket and pulled out a piece of paper folded in half.
No, not a piece of paper. An envelope. The one I’d given her earlier.
“You said in the beginning of all this that you thought the compatibility test was stupid. Why did you think that?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Computers are smart, but they can’t possibly decide who truly belongs together. It’s all based on an algorithm that just compares answers. Just because two people have a lot in common doesn’t mean they’re meant to be together. It’s why a lot of the matches haven’t worked out. Not everything is as black and white as a computer sees it.”
“I actually agree,” she said, holding out the envelope for me to take. “Here.”
I eyed it curiously as I reached out to grab it. “What is this?” I examined it as soon as it was in my hands, and my breath caught in my throat. “You haven’t opened it.”
She hasn’t opened it…
Her bottom lip quivered slightly as she shook her head. “No, I haven’t.”
All day long, I’d been obsessing over who this guy might be, wondering if she was out on a date with him, and she still didn’t know whose name was in there.
But why not? And why was she giving it back to me?
“I don’t understand…” I stared down at it in disbelief.
“I don’t want it,” she said, her voice shaky. “There’s only one name I want to be in that envelope and you had Alex remove it from the database.”
My jaw dropped slightly at what she was implying.
She was talking about me.
“But,” I said numbly, “you just told me you hate me.”
“I do,” she said, nodding emphatically. “I hate you because somehow…you made me like you.” She bit her lip. “I like you, Logan. I don’t want to, but I do. You may be selfish, immature, and mean, but you’re also funny, sweet, and caring, and—”
“Emma,” I interrupted, but she kept going like she hadn’t even heard me.
“And we have nothing in common, so this makes no sense at all—”
“Emma.”
“But I can’t stop thinking about you, and I—”
I didn’t bother to say her name again. At this point, there was only one way to get her to stop talking.
I leaned forward and kissed her. It was quick. It was simple.
It was everything.
Not knowing if this was what she wanted, I pulled away almost immediately, giving her a quizzical look.
Her widened eyes searched my face before finally settling on my mouth. “Logan,” she breathed…before throwing her arms around the back of my neck and pressing her lips against mine.
Yes. Instantly, my own arms shot out and wrapped around her waist, lifting her up off the ground slightly as I pulled her as close to me as I possibly could.
It had only been a couple of days since the last time we’d kissed, but it had been far too long. I realized immediately how much I’d missed the warmth of her lips, the taste of her strawberry lip gloss, the smell of her apple shampoo. I’d missed the way she felt in my embrace—soft, warm, perfect.
I didn’t want to ever let her go.
She whimpered slightly as I deepened the kiss and I almost lost it. Why had I wasted my entire life making this girl miserable when I could have been doing this all along instead?
That thought alone was enough to make me hate myself.
I’m not sure how long we stood there in our embrace, but by the time we parted, neither of us could breathe.
I rested my forehead against hers while I struggled to regain my composure. My heart was beating a mile a minute, threatening to burst through my ribcage. This was worse than what I’d experienced after our first kiss. Maybe it was because this time, it wasn’t practice. This time, it was real.
In an attempt to calm myself down, I did what I do best: I decided to make light of the situation.
“I knew it,” I murmured, my lips forming a smirk.
She pulled away slightly, giving me a curious look. “You knew what?”
“I knew you were in love with me,” I said.
Emma rolled her eyes. “You did not.”
“I did.” I flashed her a cocky grin. “You’ve always been in love with me, haven’t you?”
She snorted. “Hardly.”
“Admit it, Dawson. I saw the way you were looking at me in all those pictures in my mom’s scrapbook.”
“I was crying in most of those pictures!” she exclaimed.
“Yeah, crying because your love for me was unrequited.”
She pushed on my shoulders to try escaping my grasp, but I held on tightly. Quickly realizing her attempt was futile, she gave up the fight and went limp in my arms.
“Maybe it was you who was always in love with me,” she said with a smile.
“Maybe it was.” I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as her smile faltered slightly. “Emma, I’m sorry I lied on that compatibility test, but I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. And maybe that makes me selfish, but I don’t care.”
Her face fell, and I knew right away I’d said the wrong thing.
Because it was selfish of me.
Classic Logan. Selfish to the core.
Glancing down, Emma grabbed the envelope I’d forgotten was still in my hand and took it back.
No…don’t change your mind. Not now. Not after that kiss…
“I don’t care, either,” she said. She held up the envelope and ripped it in half. Then ripped it into thirds. Fourths. Fifths. She kept ripping until it was nothing but a handful of confetti, which she let fall freely to the ground.
“Wow, I really have done a number on you, haven’t I?” I asked. “The Emma I knew two weeks ago would have never littered.”
With wide eyes, she glanced down at the
mess, then back at me.
“But she’s not completely gone, is she?” I asked with a grin.
“No, she’s not.” She returned the grin before kneeling onto the ground to pick up all the pieces.
I knelt beside her to help. “Good, because I like her most of all.”
The blanket of night hid the blush on her cheeks I figured was probably there. But that was okay. I’d have plenty of opportunities in the future to make her blush.
And I’d make sure to take advantage of every single one.
“Now you’ll never know who Number 7 is,” I said, grabbing a handful of shredded paper pieces off the grass.
Emma turned her head and eyed me suspiciously. “You didn’t put your own name in the envelope, did you?”
Man, I wish I had thought to do that. It would have been pretty funny. Although, I’m sure Emma wouldn’t have thought so if she’d opened the envelope, hoping to find her true match, only to see my name in there instead.
“That would have been a brilliant idea,” I said with a smirk, “but no. I didn’t put my own name in there. I swear.”
I couldn’t tell if she believed me or not, but she didn’t press the issue. Instead, after picking up the last piece, she placed a hand along the side of my face and leaned forward to kiss me lightly on the lips.
My heart fluttered inside my chest.
“I can’t wait to tell all my book friends about this,” she joked, a small, playful smile tugging at her lips.
I snorted. “Oh my God, Dawson, you are such a dork.”
She made a face and gave my shoulder a gentle punch. “You love it, though.”
She was right. I did.
More than she could ever know.
Chapter Thirty-Three
EMMA
“Okay, make a wish!” my mother exclaimed, motioning to the ginormous slice of cake sitting on the table in front of me.
I glanced down at the one lit candle sticking out the top of it and closed my eyes. I had one wish. I had to make sure it something good.