by Christi Snow
But on the off chance he really meant it, I said, “Just give me a call when you want it to happen.”
“You think that I’m kidding, but I will be calling you. Soon.” Kennedy smiled. “But now, I think your girl wants your attention.” He nodded his head to Elle, who stood at the edge of the ring, biting her lip worriedly.
I bounded over to her. Right now, I still had plenty of energy, although I knew after the adrenaline wore off, I was going to crash big-time.
She reached up and gently brushed her thumb across the corner of my lip. “You’re bleeding.”
“It’s fine.” I caught her hand. “If I wasn’t so sweaty and disgusting right now, I’d be hugging you. This was the best surprise ever.”
She surprised me again by wrapping her arms around me despite I was literally leaving a puddle of sweat on the ground, and she still wore her fancy dress from dinner.
“The dress is replaceable,” she mumbled into my chest. “You’re not. I don’t think I’m cut out to watch you do this again. So, from here on out when you want to play with Kennedy, you’re going to have to do it without me.”
I chuckled at her phrasing about the two of us “playing,” but I didn’t take offense. “Deal.” Holding her in my arms felt so good. “But now,” I growled low in her ear, “I think I need the second half of my evening that you promised me earlier.”
She pulled back, her brows raised. “You’re still up for...”
I gently pressed my pulsing erection against her side, and she gasped in shock.
Yeah, that’s what having her nearby did to me... Every. Single. Time. “Something you should probably know...” I whispered in her ear, my voice husky with lust, “fighting makes me horny.”
“Well, okay then. I may have to rethink about my ban on watching the fights, because I have to admit seeing you use your body like that”—her gaze tracked down my bare chest, lighting up every nerve in my groin—“like you are a perfectly honed weapon was pretty damn arousing on my end, too.”
“Now, you’re talking. Tell me more.”
She laughed. “Go hit the showers. We still have to get Kennedy back to his hotel before we take care of that.” She glanced down sadly at my obvious erection in my loose basketball shorts with a raised eyebrow. She bit her lip. “Maybe a cold-ish shower.”
I laughed and shook my head at her and went to take her advice, because there was no way I could get into an enclosed car like this with a man I respected, who looked at this girl as his surrogate daughter. That just seemed disrespectful, especially after all they’d done tonight for me.
Wow. My head still spun that she’d done this...for me.
ELLE
In the end, Kennedy decided to stay at the gym and kill some time with the cops, who were all scrambling to talk to him about the Aaron Wuxia fighting method. It sounded like he was well on the way to opening up a local training center for the police department. All in all, I was thrilled that I’d gotten Jonah and him together. It really might work out well for both of them.
But now, I had one horny man to contend with in the backseat of the SUV. Not that him being horny was an issue for me. Honestly, if we hadn’t already exposed more to Dillon about our sex life than any friend or employee should have to endure, I’d be straddling Jonah right now and fucking him in the car. But Dillon didn’t deserve another blatant display.
At least, that’s what I thought. Jonah hadn’t gotten the memo as his palm traced up the inside of my thigh, making my thong even wetter than it had been before. Hell, at this point, I could probably wring the scrap of lace out and have moisture spilling on the floor.
I leaned over and bit Jonah’s earlobe. “Calm down,” I whispered. “We’re almost home.”
He groaned as my teeth clamped down on that sensitive skin, and he drew in a shuddery breath. “Yeah, okay. I can totally do that.” But his hand didn’t stop its sojourn up my leg.
“Jonah,” I moaned as my hips thrust against his hand.
Dillon cleared his throat, and I remembered where we were.
I sat up. “Sorry,” I said to Dillon as I met his humor-filled gaze in the rearview mirror.
“No problem. Luckily, we’re here. How about I drop the two of you off out front and leave you alone for the rest of the night?”
“Yes!” Jonah enthused as he sat straight up and lunged for the door before the car even stopped. “Let’s do that. See you tomorrow, Dillon.”
Dillon’s chuckle echoed behind us as we bolted out of the car and into the lobby. Jennifer manned the desk and assessed the situation quickly. “Welcome home, Ms. Wilcox, Mr. Sutton. It looks like it was a good evening.”
“It was. Thank you,” I said. Jonah hadn’t even slowed down in his rush to get me to the elevators already waiting for us.
As the doors of the elevator closed, he boxed me into the corner. “But it’s about to get even better.” He kissed me with tongue and pressure, delving deep. He turned me on more than I’d ever experienced even when we were in the middle of sex. This was him marking me, claiming me, and I was right there with him, wanting the exact same thing.
We devoured one another, passion and desire sparking between us like a wildfire. Before it got X-rated, the door dinged and slid open. We stumbled out the door and jogged to the front door of my apartment.
While I unlocked the door, Jonah found the zipper of my dress in the back and lowered it. He reached into my suddenly loose dress from behind and wrapped his hand around to the front so he could cup my breast. I hadn’t worn a bra, so the hard calluses of his palm scratched over my nipple in the very best way. I arched into his touch just as the door sprung open.
We collapsed through the door and fell to the floor in an impatient heap. Jonah shoved the door closed behind us, and I was more thankful than ever for automatic locks. Clothes flew off as we clawed at one another. It was frantic and desperate. I’d never been so out of control, but as Jonah raised his delicious, hard body above me to slide on a condom, it all made sense.
I was in love with this man. As he drove into my body, I funneled all my emotion into loving him back. The sex was quick and frantic, but as Jonah stilled above me and groaned my name, his cock flexed inside of me, sending over the edge into an orgasm with him.
The moment was beautiful. The man was beautiful. As I stroked down his sweaty back, I couldn’t hate that I’d fallen in love with him. In this moment, it felt pretty much beautiful, too.
JONAH
I slipped back under the sheets and rejoined Elle in bed. After that first frantic fucking inside the front door where I had been entirely too out of control, we’d made love another two times in her bed.
Both those times, I’d taken the time to pleasure her. Shame filled me as I considered how I’d mauled her on the floor earlier. She deserved better...pillow-top mattresses, not hardwood floors. She should have several orgasms before I found my completion. And she sure as hell deserved more than a minute of pathetic endurance.
That was her power over me, though. Especially after her epic surprise tonight. My emotions had overflowed and had made me out of control. I really didn’t like being out of control. In that way, we were a lot alike.
As I’d gotten to know Elle, I realized just how little of her life she’d been able to dictate. That’s why she’d fought so hard against my presence at first. It made sense after a lifetime of being controlled by her mother.
And then she’d been kidnapped and had begun to have panic attacks about losing control again. It seemed like the panic attacks were easing. I wish I could give her a way to feel more in control of everything else in her life, but that was why we went to the gym almost every day to train. It gave her the modicum of security and control back to her world.
I just hoped she never had to use it.
Elle stroked her hand over mine. I thought she’d fallen asleep in my arms as we spooned, but then she said, “You’re thinking too loud.”
“I’m sorry. Do you want me to go som
ewhere else and let you sleep?”
“No, of course not.” She wiggled her hips in the cradle of my lap. If I hadn’t already cum three times tonight, my dick would be waking up again with all that lush friction.
But instead, I just enjoyed the sensation of holding and snuggling her. I’d never done this with a woman before. I’d never had this serious of a relationship with a woman before. But I’d also never gotten involved with a woman who was my job before. That was the difference. Our relationship worked only because my attention wasn’t split between her and the job. My dedication to my job meant that for once, I could enjoy being with someone. It had ruined every other relationship I’d ever had.
Fuck, I didn’t want this assignment to ever end.
“So, what are those deep thoughts of yours about?” she asked.
For a moment, I didn’t think I’d be able to spit out the words, but the intimacy we shared in the dark of the night bolstered me. I threaded my fingers through hers and cleared my throat. “Just thinking. If I ever thought I could have a real relationship, you would be the woman I’d want it to be with.”
Her breathing hitched and then sped up. I only heard it because there were no other sounds to drown out the small details. “Not that I’m pushing for that, but why can’t you?” she asked.
“I’ve learned to accept that I’m a workaholic at the cost of everyone around me. It’s not fair. I won’t do that to anyone else again.”
I could feel her hesitation.
“What is it?” I asked. “It’s okay. You can ask whatever it is. I won’t take it personally.”
She nodded and stroked my forearm. “You talk like you were in a serious relationship before that fell apart because of your job.”
“In a way, I was. It was the most serious relationship a person has.”
Her breath hitched as if she hadn’t expected that.
“What?” Elle’s voice broke. She turned over and cupped my face. “Tell me...please.”
“My mom.” This time, my voice broke, and I had to choke the words out past the massive lump of emotion that had lodged in the middle of my throat. “It was always just the two of us against the world. I joined the military to help her, but I didn’t see what my job did to her. I knew she missed me, but she was my mom. That’s what moms do, right? I wasn’t worried about it.”
God, I’d been such a selfish idiot. “That last deployment was my longest. It was planned to be a year, but then they extended our tour. We had no idea when we’d be coming home. And honestly, although I missed my mom and good, greasy cheeseburgers, I was doing my job at the highest level...on the front lines. I was having a blast, and I didn’t mind staying a bit longer. Then I got the Red Cross notification that my mom had died.”
I took a deep breath, needing to get through this. Elle needed to understand why I couldn’t commit to anyone. “When I got home, I found out just how bad it had been. I’d never realized...” The lump in my throat was trying to choke off my words. “It’s my fault she killed herself.”
Elle gasped in pain for me.
I had to get it all out, so I kept talking although I wanted nothing more than to bury my face in Elle’s neck and forget the whole nightmare. “In her apartment, there were journals upon journals where she’d tried to exorcise her pain. I’d never known just how sad she’d gotten while I was deployed. I got too caught up in my job—in the challenge of it all—to recognize that the most important person in the world was hurting. I couldn’t see it, because I was having too much fun. I lived for my job then, and I live for it now. That hasn’t changed. If anything, I’m even worse now than I was then.”
I shook my head. “I’m not set up to be able to give someone else what they need emotionally in a relationship, so I just don’t try anymore. I never want someone to feel that depth of sadness again, because I can’t be there for them.”
“I’m so sorry about your mom,” she said quietly, “but you know that wasn’t your fault, right? Suicide is brought on by depression. There were probably signs of it throughout your life that you may or may not have noticed.”
She was right. My mom had definitely had problems before then. That was part of why I’d joined the military so young. She’d lost her last job when she’d lost track of the days and had stayed in bed for one too many of them. We had been sinking in debt and in danger of not having a place to live.
“But if I had been there...”
She stopped my argument with a kiss. I deepened it, wanting to end this awful discussion. I’d much rather make love to her again. I just had to get my body online with the idea.
But before I could get us to that point, Elle pulled away. “It doesn’t matter. You are allowed to have a life outside of the people you love. To think otherwise is totally selfish of that other person. And you can’t change the past, so playing ‘shoulda, woulda, coulda’ at this point doesn’t do anything but feed your guilt. No one is responsible for what your mom did besides your mother. I’m so sorry that you’ve been left with the emotional fall-out from that, because it’s not fair that you take that on yourself. But just like your mother needed to be responsible for her actions, you have to own yours, too.”
She patted my bare chest. My heart pounded out of control. “You’re such an amazing man with an amazing heart. The idea of you growing old with only your job as a connection to fulfill you makes me sad, but no one will convince you that you deserve something more. Just like your mother, you have to make that decision for yourself. Just know...I think you deserve more.”
“Thank you,” I murmured as I kissed her forehead softly.
She was right. I could see that objectively, but that didn’t change the very subjective emotions I had about this. I knew the truth. My job would always be my number one priority, and that meant days and weeks on the road in dangerous situations. I’d watched men in both the military and at Hawk Works struggle to make their relationships work, just to have them ultimately fail because of the time apart and danger. I would never be able to ask someone else into my life as long as this job was my priority.
My jaw cracked as I yawned wide, the overwhelming emotions of the day catching up with me. “I feel like I could sleep for a month.” After the match with Kennedy and then the sexual acrobatics with Elle, I was wiped out.
She ran her fingernails through the hair dusting my chest, creating a soothing rhythm that sent me even closer to sleep. “How about we skip class in the morning? I think you earned a little indulgence.”
“Deal.” I leaned over to the nightstand and grabbed my phone. “Let me text Dillon and let him know he can sleep in, too.”
That done, I hugged Elle back to my chest. If I had to grow old with only my job to warm my heart, I could take these moments and store them on my soul. No one would ever touch my heart like Elle had done in the last few weeks.
If there could ever be a One for me, she would have been it.
But it wasn’t meant to be.
Chapter Fifteen
Jonah
My jaw cracked as I yawned and shuffled across the wood floor in the kitchen, scratching the hair on my bare chest. We’d slept in this morning, but it was still taking forever for me to get awake. I needed coffee. Stat.
I eyed the huge professional-looking coffee machine in the corner of the countertop that I’d never seen Elle touch and had an idea.
I yelled up to Elle, who was still in the loft, “Hey, babe, you want me to make you a cappuccino?”
“Yeah,” she yelled back.
I looked up, and she was leaning over the half wall of her bedroom.
She leered for a moment and then winked at me. “That sounds amazing. There are some flavored syrups in the pantry. I’m gonna take a quick shower, and I’ll be down.”
Cool. I pulled the machine away from the backsplash and plugged it in. One step down, only several dozen more to go. I detoured to the pantry to check out what kinds of flavors Elle had on hand.
Elle had a huge walk-in
pantry, and it took me a bit to find the syrups. They’d been shoved back into the corner, and it didn’t look like anyone had ever used them. Thinking about Elle’s moans over her Dulce de leche dessert crepes last night, I grabbed the caramel flavoring.
As I headed toward the door of the pantry, I heard a feminine voice and assumed Elle was on her cell phone. I stepped into the kitchen, startled at the sight of my boss, Samantha, standing there with ViviAnna. Behind them were a couple of ViviAnna’s huge bodyguards.
They both stopped and stared at me in shock, their eyes quickly dropping to my black boxer briefs and bare legs.
ViviAnna quirked a salacious smile. “My, my, my. What do we have here?” A single eyebrow raised as she licked her lips. “This is a nice surprise. Elle has class right now. I thought you would be with her.”
“Hey, Jonah.” Elle descended the stairs wrapped in a skimpy, wet towel. Another covered her head as she dried her hair as she came down.
I glanced up and ran to intercept her. “Elle—”
“I have an idea,” she continued, oblivious to all of us staring in horror. “How about we take the coffee back to bed, and I can show you this new technique I read about for sucking—”
She pulled the towel from her head, and her eyes widened in surprise at her audience. Her feet stumbled over the last couple of steps, and I dove for her as she fell. I caught her, but we both ended up in a crumpled heap on the floor. Somewhere on the way down those last few steps, the towel around her body had fallen off, leaving her completely exposed where we both sprawled on the ground.
I draped my torso over her to shield her nudity as much as possible, glaring at the bodyguards who weren’t even trying to hide their interest.
I glared at them. “You two. Out. Now.”
I must have looked scary enough even though I was crouching in just my underwear since they both rushed out the front door.