Secret Love (The 4Ever Series Book 2)

by Isabella White

  “No, you are.” The look he gave her was seductive. It left her speechless, so she turned away.

  Chuckling, Jake filled one of the paper cups and handed it to her.

  She loved grape juice. In fact, she had to admit she was really liking everything about the lunch. Neither said much, but Holly kept glancing down at her pager.

  “Are you waiting for something to happen?”

  “Just on my toes. Your cousin is really awesome, by the way.”

  “Of course she is. She’s a Peters.”

  “Ha ha,” she laughed mockingly, scooping up more rice and dumplings out of her box with her chopsticks. “So, what happened with Swanson?”

  He shook his head and finished chewing before he answered her. “Not sure. The surgery was by the book, but that’s the thing about brains—you never know in what condition your patients are going to wake up.”

  “Will he speak like that forever?”

  Jake shrugged.

  “What do you mean you’re not sure?”

  “That’s the wonder of being a brain surgeon. Every human brain is different. Some patients are fine when they wake up, some need healing first, and others… well, only time will tell.”

  “And you’re okay with that?”

  “It’s the fun part of being a neurosurgeon.” He gave her his million-dollar smile, the smile that always turned her legs to rubber. Good thing she was sitting.

  “Now you know why I could never be a brain surgeon. I’d absolutely die if that happened with all my patients. Why did he put up such a big fight if his condition might change?”

  “He didn’t give me a chance to explain. It’s normal, Holly. Waking up not knowing how you got there in the first place—opening your mouth to speak and nonsense coming out—has that effect on a person. I would’ve been worried if he hadn’t done that, to be honest.”

  He was right; it was terrifying. She pitied Mr. Swanson now.

  “Can I ask you something?” Jake’s voice was suddenly even more serious.

  “Let me guess, you want to know why I became a doctor.”

  The curves around his mouth pulled slightly upward and he nodded.

  “It’s hard to explain.” She couldn’t tell him the pure truth, so she had to tell him a different version of the truth. She rested her head on her palm after making herself comfortable on the blanket. “I just woke up one day and it sound like an awesome plan. Did I ever think that our paths would cross again?” She answered her own question with a shake of her head.

  Jake laughed. “You seriously didn’t think our paths would cross?”

  “No, I didn’t. I thought I would remain in Seattle. I know how you hate cold, so I never thought you’d be out there. I really didn’t do this because of you, if that’s what you are wondering.”

  “Ouch, that actually hurts.”

  “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just saying you weren’t the reason I decided to become a doctor. It was just the best idea for me at the time.”

  He nodded in an awkward way, and Holly had no idea if he bought her explanation. “One thing I can say is that you’re really good, Holly. Moira’s told me so many times that she feels like she can’t teach you much. You know how to do Dr. Somers’s special pump-action technique?”

  Holly wiggled her eyebrows. “What can I say? I almost gave him a heart attack with that blowjob, but…”

  “Ha ha,” Jake mocked her. Putting his box down, he crawled over to her, lying on his stomach with his head inches from hers. “You need to remind me what they are like. I mean, just the idea of it when you licked that cream off Tofu that night at your party had me biting my tongue.” He smiled. Her stomach flipped a million times. He leaned forward and kissed her softly on her lips.

  “We’ll have to see how you behave.”

  “I love it when you talk to me about behaving.”

  Smiling, she shook her head. Jake kissed her again, but didn’t move down to her neck this time. The kiss was hungry, and slightly filled with anger. He bit and scraped her bottom lip harder than usual, and his mouth was rougher on hers than it had been before, but it turned her on instead of hurting.

  She nipped him back, and felt his hand guiding her leg and wrapped it over his own leg. He stroked the back of her thigh hard, making her skin tingle with pleasure, all the way to her butt as he pulled her even harder against him, rocking into her in a slow, sensual movement. When her breathing deepened, Jake rolled onto his back, pulling her on top of him.

  Their lips melded together in a frenzy. One of Jake’s hands sought entrance, delving under her shirt to cup her breast. The bulge in his pants strained for release. He tore his lips away from her to push himself upright so that she was sitting on his lap, he positioned her with his free hand exactly how he wanted her. A tiny moan left her lips. Opening her eyes a fraction, she saw Jake staring at her through half-moon eyes.

  Desperate to kiss him again, she leaned forward, but Jake had other ideas, inserting his thumb into her mouth, instead. She gazed at him as she swirled her tongue around his thumb, before closing her lips and sucking on his with a seductive fervor. He groaned from the action and squeezed his eyes shut, his chest heaving with desire.

  Emitting a low growl, Jake removed his finger to grab her behind her head and pull her toward him, replacing his finger with his tongue again. The kiss was savage and tender all at once. He kissed her as if tomorrow was never going to come. Her blood sang, and the butterflies in her stomach felt like a swirling vortex.

  Removing his hand from her breast, he grabbed her thighs and pulled her closer, rubbing himself between her legs, forcing a moan from her lips. Biting her lip, Holly rocked back and forth on his hardness. The friction of his cock rubbing against her nearly had an orgasm pulsing through her, even though they were both still fully dressed.

  Jake’s kisses became more demanding, as did his hands. He tugged on her pants. Holly, desperate to have him inside her, scrambled off his lap to remove them. Wasting no time, Jake got rid of his in a flash.

  Foregoing any further tenderness, Jake pulled her onto him, capturing her mouth again in a hungry kiss. He shoved his tongue into her mouth as he sank her onto his cock.

  Holly gasped and Jake groaned at the contact. Having Jake fully sheathed within her drove her straight to euphoria. His fingers dug into ass and thighs as he guided himself in and out, his groans growing louder as the pace escalated.

  When he flipped them over so he was on top, he went wild, savagely thrusting into her. Their moans reverberated through the air, their breath mingling as they panted together. Yet through all that she was feeling, her mind reminded her that he wasn’t hers. Not yet, anyway. But she was going to change that. He would be hers again, and this time, she didn’t give a fuck that he already had a family.

  Reaching orgasm, she cried out when she exploded, but Jake didn’t stop, pounding into her as if he wanted to make up for the years they’d missed. The way he crashed into her every time he penetrated her felt amazing. The heat in her belly intensified. Her pussy was wet, enabling Jake’s member to slide in and out of her more easily than before. Holly’s second orgasm hit her with force, and she clenched around Jake’s cock as the pulsing subsided. Using her foot as leverage, she pushed Jake to his back and rolled on top of him. Her beeper went off just as she was ready to give him his orgasm.

  “You are not fucking going anywhere now,” he grunted.

  “Four minutes,” she mumbled out of breath, pushing him back down. She turned around, sliding down on his cock as his hands stroked over her back. His grunts became louder and louder, and when he grabbed her hair from behind and pushed her down on his cock, gripping her hip with his free hand, she knew he’d reached his orgasm. Jake stilled. Her pussy clenched, and her legs ached, too. She was exhausted and would give anything for a nap, but unfortunately, she had to get to the emergency she’d been paged for.

  “I’ve got to go,” she breathed out.

  “I guess.” Kissing
her on the shoulder, he tapped her on the ass to get her to move. She got up, feeling him slide out of her as she moved. She grabbed her pants, and tugged them on.

  “See you later,” she said over her shoulder at the door.

  Grabbing her arm, he pulled her back into him, and gave her one last passionate kiss. “See you later.” He squeezed her butt cheek and nibbled her lower lip, forcing a breathy moan to escape her lips, before letting her go. With a pounding heart, she took the stairs two at a time back down to the cardiology ward.

  She reached one of her patients just in time squirt some detergent into her hands and a pair plastic gloves before entering the room. Mr. Ali was struggling to breathe. She took the tube lodged in his trachea out of his mouth.

  *******

  Moira returned around three. Holly didn’t know what she would have done if she’d had to tell her they’d lost Mr. Ali, a double bypass patient who was in post-op now and should be recovering well. What would her reason have been? Oh, I’m so sorry, Moira, but you see, I was busy fucking the living daylights out of your cousin. My apologies again, Moira. I shouldn’t have done that.

  She blew her breath out heavily, the sensation of Jake filling her so deeply still lodged firmly in her mind.

  Licking her dry lips, she gave up on filling out Mr. Ali’s chart. “I’m not done with this, so please don’t file it yet. I just need a cup of coffee,” she said to Gale.

  Pulling her phone out, she sent Jake a text.

  Thanks for lunch. I’ll struggle to get that out of my freakin’ head.

  As soon as she reached the staff room, her phone beeped. Before reading the message, she poured herself a cup of coffee.

  Good, now you know how I feel. Welcome to the sex addicts group.

  Holly laughed.

  I don’t have an addiction, per se. I’m just saying that I’m struggling to get that Chinese food out of my head.

  SNORT! Talk to you soon, and you know I’m not really referring to actual communication, I’m talking about fucking the living daylights out of you, since that was hardly a fuck.

  She shook her head. She wanted to ask him how soon was soon. However, she didn’t want to sound like an overeager little slut.

  You did not just say that.

  See you later, princess.

  At six, Holly changed out of her scrubs, and for the first time in a long time she touched her scar. It was not that visible, and you really needed to look hard to see it. Why she was so scared of Jake seeing it? But there were also the slight stretch marks over her boobs and the couple of ugly stretch marks on her abdomen. They might give it away.

  The drive home had her thinking about what it was she was doing. She hated feeling unsure, hated not knowing if she was wasting her time or if she was going to end up with him by her side forever. She wanted a future with him so much, especially now that she knew a part of him couldn’t function normally without her and would always crave her. But how big was that part? What if Kate found out about them and gave him an ultimatum? Would she be able to live in a world where Jake was going to pretend she didn’t exist?

  A part of her felt pathetic. She’d been doing great without him. For four years, she’d made do. Why had she kissed him that night? If she hadn’t, none of this would’ve happened, none of it. Then again, even if she hadn’t kissed him, would she have really been okay letting him go without a fight? It was all so confusing, and she realized that she couldn’t really get to the bottom of why she was doing what she was doing. Was it really for Jamie, or was it for her?

  AFTER HER NEXT PHONE CALL TO JAMIE, Holly considered telling Jake about his daughter. His reaction could only be one of two things. He could either freak out and demand to know why she’d done the opposite of what he’d asked her to do five years ago, which in turn would upset her and she’d verbally attack him, and they would break whatever they had going on off. Or, he would take it in stride, in a calm manner. She knew he would demand to meet Jamie, which she would never allow to happen, because she wouldn’t risk uprooting her child’s whole life. But he wouldn’t leave it there. He would take her to court and she would end up hating him for trying to take her baby away from her, which meant she would end up with no Jake.

  She had a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach just thinking about it. He hadn’t wanted the babies when she was pregnant, and she was sure he wouldn’t want Jamie now, but for some reason he wanted Holly.

  Did he only want her because of the sex, and for the fact that she was able to make him come? It would break her if that was the only reason Jake wanted her.

  Deep in thought, she realized that the bathtub was almost filled halfway. She turned the faucet off. A glass of red wine with a bath was all she needed now, and maybe she would feel differently about this plan of hers.

  She went to the kitchen, took a bottle of red wine out of the cupboard and poured herself a generous glass. Bridgette and Rod had gone out. She wasn’t fazed by whenever they went off anymore, and she sometimes forgot that he was six years younger than she was. Sometimes, he seemed older. She guessed it had to do with the fact that he’d been so great with Jamie while they attended medical school.

  The bath was great, the glass of wine was great, and she hated the fact that none of it took Jake from her mind.

  Her phone lay on the toilet seat and it caught her eye as the screen light went on.

  She picked it up, doubting it was who she wanted it to be, and then she saw his number. Her stomach convulsed with excitement as she touched the screen to open the message.

  Hello, princess. What are you doing?

  I’m in the bath, what are you doing?

  It was quiet for a couple of seconds.

  The bath, seriously… are you making that up to punish me?

  She giggled and took a sip of her wine.

  Not at all. Why do you think I’m punishing you? Should I be?

  Oh, yes, please… Thinking about me?

  Maybe…

  And, what am I doing in that head of yours?

  Driving me insane, as usual.

  In what way?

  She couldn’t believe she was about to send him a naughty message.

  If you were in this bath with me, I could have reminded you of what my mouth is capable of…

  Mmmmmm. Tell me more.

  Just before you reach your high, I would stop and put my mouth to good use elsewhere, like that sexy stomach of yours, kissing it softly, moving all the way up to your chest, softly nibbling on one of your nipples...

  She waited a couple of minutes before he replied, and she wondered if perhaps Kate had walked in on him and he’d had to make up some lame excuse about who he was texting so late at night.

  Are you shitting me? You little minx!

  Holly laughed

  If only you were here…

  Be careful what you wish for.

  Always.

  Always, what?

  I never wish for things I don’t want.

  It was quiet again, like for the rest of the night quiet. She felt a smidgen of insecurity about the last message. Had she revealed too much of her feelings for him, and had it scared him off? Or, was it just a bad time to message her back?

  Then another thought popped into her head. What if he’d grabbed Kate because she’d messed with his mind with her texts? The possibility of that being the case was huge. She was his fiancée, after all, and she lived with him. She was but an arm’s reach away. Holly wasn’t.

  The scene in her head made her angry, but she couldn’t stop thinking about the two of them going at it. As she got out of the tub, a nasty feeling emerged in the pit of her stomach. She was angry at the Jake in her head for toying with her, and with herself for letting him.

  She tossed and turned in bed until Rod and Bridgette got home. They spoke softly in the hallway, bidding each other a good night, whilst trying to suppress their drunken laughter. She missed being their age, being that free. Not that she wanted a life without Jamie, cou
ldn’t imagine her life without her bean. Yet she wished she could go back and do things differently. Wished she could have enjoyed her life more, gotten drunk more often, just be worry free. Maybe if she’d loved Jake more, he would’ve never left them.

  The married woman from Jake’s past popped into her head again. Holly had always felt insecure about that, too. In fact, for the longest time, she’d thought that Jake had left her because of that woman. He had revealed to Leo right before Holly had hooked up with him that he had been madly in love with her. Holly had teased him about it, calling him a homewrecker. Now she was the homewrecker.

  She still remembered the events of their short relationship as if it had been yesterday. He had been depressed for three months, but somehow, Holly had given him new hope that the married woman wasn’t the only one for him after all. That there were always new possibilities of being happy again by finding love with someone else. Of course, she’d believed in her heart that she was only a one-night stand, but for some reason he’d stayed the next day, and visited on another. It had evolved into something beautiful... until she got pregnant. She didn’t want to think about that time, because none of it made any sense to her, but she knew that she’d spoken to him that day, and she remembered what he’d told her to do. It was why she hadn’t brought it up yet, because they would fight and what they had going now would be over.

  If she were honest, they hadn’t really known each other that well. They’d only been together for three months when she’d gotten pregnant, so for him to change his mind about wanting children back then was probably normal.