Whenever Holly saw Jake, she badly wanted to go up to him and scream at him until her voice gave out, but she didn’t. Instead, she headed in the opposite direction, willing her tears away. He’d now abandoned her twice.
Holly got an idea. There was no way she’d be able to go back to Seattle. She wouldn’t see Jamie before she left for Zürich, but if Jake and his whole wretched family were going to Hawaii, it was safe to bring Jamie to Boston to spend that week with her before her trip. Jane thought it a brilliant idea, with the only question now being which day Jake and his entourage were going to leave.
Rod managed to find out the date. Before Holly knew it, the night had finally arrived. Her phone rang, and when she glanced at it, she saw her mother’s number on the screen.
She smiled and picked up the phone.
“Hey, Mom.”
“Hey, baby, just letting you know we are…” Jane started, and then Holly heard, “Hey, Mommy! We are going to come to you soon,” said Jamie excitedly, making Holly giggle.
“Okay, we’re finished packing. Missy, let Nanna talk quick, okay, then you can say hello properly. Is he gone yet?”
“Rod said he’d message me, but he’s leaving tonight. When is your plane leaving?”
“Early tomorrow. We land around ten in the morning.”
“Okay, I’ll make sure someone’s there to pick you up. I have a heart surgery tomorrow with Jake’s cousin, and she’s leaving afterward.”
Jane knew about Moira, but Moira had no idea about Jake and Holly’s relationship five years ago, or what the asshole had done.
“She doesn’t know, Mom, and I doubt she’d tell him I have a daughter. It wouldn’t even cross her mind.”
“Okay, good. How are you doing?”
“I’m fine, really. I can’t wait to hold Jamie in my arms. Heaven knows I need that little girl. I have no idea how I’m going to do this for an entire year, Mom.”
“You are not a bad mother… We’ve spoken about this, baby. She will be grateful one day, not only for all the things you will be able to give her, but for the sacrifices you’ve had to make. You have to do this, Holly.”
“I know. I just feel so crappy.”
“Love you. Just a few hours to go. She is so excited. I don’t know how I’m going to get her to bed tonight.”
Holly chuckled. “Let me speak to her.”
“Love you, my girl.”
“Love you, too, Mom.”
“Mommy, we are going to see you tomorrow!”
Holly smiled. “I know, and I can’t wait.”
“One more sleep! Nanna said it’s a short sleep, not even that long.”
“Nanna is really smart, so she’s right, but you need to go to bed when she says so, okay? I know you’re going to be wide awake when that time comes, baby, but if you don’t sleep, you are going to be so tired tomorrow you won’t enjoy the beach.”
“The beach! We’re going to the beach?”
“Yes, with Rod. Mommy’s not going to be there, but Rodney will.” Hopefully.
“Yay, yay, yay!” Jamie yelled. Holly felt pure joy for the first time in a long time.
“So, remember, when Nanna says go to bed, you go to bed, okay?”
“Okay, I’ll try.”
“Good girl. I love you.”
“Love you more.”
“I doubt that. Give Nanna a big kiss for me, okay?”
“Okay. Bye.”
“Bye, pumpkin.”
Holly smiled, but thinking about Zürich tugged at her heart. A year was such a long time. She was going to miss a lot in Jamie’s life; her fifth birthday, another school concert, everything.
Her phone beeped with a message from Rod.
He’s gone, everyone just said goodbye to him.
Thanks, Rod. I can’t wait for tomorrow.
She slept like a rock that night, not quite believing that when she awoke, she’d have just one more shift, and then she’d be holding her everything in her arms. She knew the minute she held Jamie in her arms, it would take away every ounce of pain Jake had left her with, and that everything was going to be fine.
JAKE
JAKE DROVE INTO DOWNSEND’S PARKING lot. A part of him didn’t want to go to Hawaii, but he had no choice. Flashes of leaving Kate at the altar flew through his mind, but he couldn’t do that to her. He’d pondered this decision for weeks. Should he leave her and tell Holly he’d made a mistake, or not? He couldn’t.
Should he ask Holly why? He’d wanted so desperately to ask her the previous two times they’d been together, but images of breaking down in front of her as he asked why she’d done what she had, why she hadn’t stayed, why she’d run, filled his mind. She’d ruined everything. It was why he couldn’t fucking choose her. His family would never let her back into their lives, and he needed his family. They’d been through the shit with him the day she left. Especially his mom. He just couldn’t do that to her again. Locking the SUV’s doors with his remote, he ran up the stairs.
Aggie gasped when she saw him. “Baby, what are you still doing here? I thought you left last night for Hawaii.” She looked at him with her worried glare.
Jake chuckled. He knew what was going through her mind. “I was almost in my seat when P&E phoned. Mr. Collins was given the wrong medication and almost died,” he whispered. “I feel sorry for my mom and dad when they return. Mrs. Collins is not a happy woman.”
“I wouldn’t be, either.”
“Is that the patient they transferred here this morning from P&E?” Pam asked.
Jake nodded. “Could you please find out what room he’s in for me? I have to make sure he’s okay.”
“Sure, Dr. Peters.” She gave him a sweet smile, then looking down, typing vigorously on the keyboard.
Jake glanced over at the board where the day’s surgeries were noted. For some reason, he always noticed her name first. She’d been in early that morning for a surgery with Moira. Just one more week and she’d be in Zürich. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, willing himself not to think about how empty the hospital was going to feel without her. Even if they couldn’t be together, knowing she was here, close, left him with some hope.
Opening his eyes, he caught Aggie staring at him. He smiled, shook himself out of his sullen mood, and pretended like everything was fine. He was good at pretending that things were okay when they actually weren’t.
“Have you given it much thought lately?’ Aggie asked softly.
Jake frowned, pretending he didn’t know what she was talking about.
“He is still in the ICU, Dr. Peters,” Pam said.
“Thank you,” Jake replied, glancing at Aggie. “Do the rounds with me?”
The old nurse followed him with small but rapid strides, almost running to keep up with him.
“I’m fine, Aggie. Really. I thought about it for a long time and you were right. I’m disgusted with myself, too, believe me. But thank heavens I came to realize that Kate was the best woman for me. I’m happy, and as soon as I’m done here, I’m going to Hawaii to marry the woman of my dreams.” He gave her a smile, hoping that he’d sold his lie to the woman who’d known him since he was five years old.
The look she gave him in return was one born out of concern and fear that he was going to walk down the aisle with the wrong woman.
“Have you spoken to her?” Aggie asked.
Jake pulled his hands through his hair and shook his head. “It’s not going to change anything, Aggs. It’s in the past. What’s done is done.” Jake chuckled. “Could I ask a favor of you, though?”
Aggie nodded.
“Please keep this conversation between us.”
She gave him a raised brow. “Don’t I always?”
“Yes, you do. Thanks, Aggie.”
They walked through the door to the ICU ward on their left. Jake squirted sanitizer onto his hands and rubbed it in before he walked into Mr. Collins’ room.
Mrs. Collins was sitting in a chair, reading a magazine. She
smiled at Jake, if you could call it a smile. With what had happened late last night, it was to be expected.
Aggie picked up the chart to inspect it as Jake apologized again for the incident at P&E.
“It wasn’t your fault. Stop apologizing for something that you didn’t do,” Mrs. Collins said.
“It could’ve been worse.”
“You came and saved his life. That is all that matters.” Her smile was warmer this time, but she gave him a skeptical look. “Why haven’t you left for Hawaii yet?”
“I rescheduled the flight. I’ll be leaving with my cousin at two.”
“Good. I just don’t want Kate to feel that we are jeopardizing her wedding.”
Jake chuckled. “She understands. Thank heavens for that.”
Mrs. Collins laughed as Jake walked over to her husband to check his pupils. The sclera, the whites of the eyes, were still red, but not as red as the night before, and his pupils weren’t as dilated. He felt positive that this was going to be a good recovery. Ninety-nine percent positive. Satisfied that all was well, he gave Mrs. Collins’s hand a gentle squeeze and said goodbye.
Aggie accompanied him back to reception. Jake caught sight of a little girl sitting at a table with her back to him, drawing. Her hair was long and curly, and it was black as night.
Looking away, Jake changed course and moved away from reception, deciding to quickly check up on his other patients, now that he was there. He gestured to Aggie to join him again. Some days, he enjoyed her company on his rounds.
It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Oliver to do his job, although that wasn’t entirely correct. He didn’t trust that scaly bastard, especially not around Holly.
The first patient he checked in on was Mr. Roberts, who was eating the last of his jelly and custard. Desi, the third-year resident who worked with him on surgeries at Downsend, was already checking the man’s vitals.
Both their faces lit up when they noticed Jake in the room. Mr. Roberts reached over to place the now-empty bowl on the side cabinet as Desi filled in his chart. Aggie took his vital signs.
“Dr. Peters, getting cold feet?” Mr. Roberts joked, receiving a laugh from both Jake, Desi and Aggie.
“Not at all. Unfortunately, I had a late surgery last night and had to reschedule my flight. I’m leaving at two. How are the headaches?”
“Third day and still nothing.” As he answered Jake, a peaceful grin appeared on his face.
That was why Jake loved his job. Helping people like Mr. Roberts, who’d had years of headaches because of an aneurism in his temporal lobe, was what he lived for. It was his drug, the thing that made him keep on going. He smiled at that thought. Holly was also his drug but… He sighed. “I’m glad that you are headache free.”
Mr. Roberts smiled.
“Are you excited for the big day?”
“I am. I can’t wait,” Jake lied. It hadn’t been an easy choice, not in the least. He wished with all his heart and soul that he could stay and join Holly in Zürich, but that wasn’t going to happen. He hadn’t chosen her, although he’d wanted to so badly. It wouldn’t have been fair.
Jake, Aggie, and Desi laughed as Mr. Roberts commented that he wasn’t sure which of the two was luckier, Jake or Kate.
“Mommy, Mommy!” The little girl’s jubilation, the same little girl who’d been sitting at reception, filled the air when she ran past Mr. Roberts’ room. Jake couldn’t help but smile.
“Someone is excited about something,” Mr. Roberts observed.
“Speaking about excitement, you should still take it easy for the next couple of days. Rest when you feel tired, and speak to Dr. Green if the headaches return.”
“If…” Aggie said, giving Jake a skeptical look. He was selling himself short, but he was only human and was bound to make some mistakes, too. “There is no if, Mr. Roberts. Jake might be young, but he is one of the best.”
“Holly, you have a daughter?” Teresse’s voice carried from out in the hallway.
Jake’s entire body jolted at those words, and dread clouded his mind. But when he saw that same shock on Aggie’s face, he knew it wasn’t a case of having heard wrong. His eyes went to the door just as Holly walked past with the same little dark-haired girl in her arms, while Teresse chatted away with the little girl… his little girl? The little girl looked like a little mini version of himself. He wanted to rush to her side to make sure, but shock stuck his feet to the floor like gravity. His head spun. He couldn’t make any sense out of this.
Aggie walked to the door and turned around. “Stay here,” she said and left, closing the door behind her.
“Desi, pull that chair closer,” Mr. Roberts ordered, and she did as he asked. Jake practically fell into it, his mind racing.
“Jake, are you okay?” Desi asked, her tone one of worry.
“Just give me a couple of seconds, please.” He stroked his face, then rested his head in both his hands. Tears welled up in his eyes—tears of anger.
“Lad, it looks like you’ve seen a ghost. Should I call for someone? I’ve been dying to try out this red button,” Mr. Roberts asked, but Jake just stared at the floor, trying his best to make sense out of what he’d just seen.
“Jake, should we get help?”
He looked up at Desi and shook his head.
“You sure?”
“Yes, just, give me a couple…” Suddenly feeling nauseated, he rushed into Mr. Roberts’ bathroom and threw up.
Desi was at his side again. “Jake, what can I do?”
“Nothing, just get out,” he grunted, then threw up again. Holly hadn’t gotten the abortion. How could she have done that to him? Anger replaced the churning in his stomach and he got up, washed his face, drank some water, and headed out, ready to confront Holly.
Just as he exited the bathroom, Aggie walked into Mr. Roberts’ room.
“I need to talk to her, now!”
“No, Jake.”
“Don’t tell me what to do, Aggie.” He was angry, but kept his tone low.
“No, baby. Not while the child is with her. Please, you don’t know where this could lead, and you don’t want to scare her,” Aggie pleaded.
Jake closed his eyes, his nostrils flared and it felt as if all the anger inside of him was going to make him explode.
“Someone is here to pick Holly’s mother and the child up. Let her leave, and then you can yell and scream as much as you want to, okay?”
“Aggie… how sure are you?”
“She’s a Peters. It was like I was looking at you when you were that age. It was hard to keep a friendly face. But she’s definitely a Peters.”
“Why didn’t she tell me?”
“I don’t know. Just give her a couple of minutes and then you can confront her.”
Jake nodded, defeated. The tears that had pooled in his eyes rolled down his cheeks. He wiped at them as he walked back to sit on the chair. He had a daughter he hadn’t known about. There was no excuse. Holly had had many opportunities to tell him about her. Fuck, he should’ve yelled at her. He would’ve known by now if he’d just opened his fucking mouth and asked her straight out. It wasn’t just her fault, it was his, too.
Nothing made sense to him at all, nothing. A heavy feeling weighed on his chest. He knew a part of it was anger, a lot of anger, but guilt and resentment toward himself had slipped in there, too.
Aggie walked to the door, opening it an inch, and peeked through. After a few seconds, she closed it again, then walked over to Jake.
“They’re gone. Holly’s at reception. If you want to speak to her, now is the right time,” Aggie said.
Jake nodded, pinched his eyes with his forefinger and thumb, and collected himself by taking a deep breath. He stood and walked with huge strides to the door, lingered with his hand on the handle, and took another deep breath. He needed answers, and he needed them now.
HOLLY
An hour earlier
Holly’s phone beeped when her hand was stuck inside of Mr. Brow
n’s chest, so there was no way she could read what that message said. But she was worried about her mother and Jamie. What if this had been a mistake? What if their plane crashed? “Vivien,” she called to one of the OR nurses. “Could you please read that message to me? If it’s dirty, though, don’t read it,” she joked, making everyone laugh.
“Please tell me you are not back with that idiot who gave you all that shit, Holly?” Moira gave her the eye.
“Nope, it was a joke.”
“It says: Holly, no Rod. We are taking a cab and coming to you, love, Mom.”
“Viv, please try and get Rod on the phone.”
Vivien scrolled through Holly’s contact list—while Holly thanked God she hadn’t saved Jake’s number—then held the phone to her ear. “It just rings, then goes to voicemail.”
“Okay, thanks.” She took a deep breath. She didn’t want her mother to come to Downsend with Jamie. Too many people would see the resemblance to Jake, and it would reach Jake soon.
“Your parents coming to visit?” Moira asked.
Shit, shit, shit. She’d forgotten about Moira. “No, just my mom and my five-year-old daughter.” The last part was said softly.
“Your what?” Moira asked. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Holly’s first reaction by one of the Peters. “You are a mother, Holly?”
“She stays with my mom. It’s not a big deal, Moira.”
“Still, if I’d known, I would’ve consulted with you about Zürich first. Where is her father?”
“He didn’t want her, wanted me to have an abortion and I couldn’t.”
“Fucking jerk!”
Yeah, and you praise the ground he walks on. Not so perfect anymore. “Tell me about it.”
“Do you have photos?”
“She’s going to be here soon. You’ll get to meet her face-to-face.”
“I can’t wait.”
Holly laughed.
They finished with Mr. Brown while Moira asked questions about Jamie. Holly was weary of answering them, because if it emerged that Jamie was Jake’s, Moira would tell him everything. This was the foundation of a disaster waiting to happen.
Secret Love (The 4Ever Series Book 2) Page 30