Holly closed her eyes. He hadn’t slept with her because of a strawberry blonde. She was the strawberry blonde he was trying to get out of his system.
“Finally, he took a year to go to China, when he got back, he started dating Kate and became a father to Michael. He never came back as the Jake I know. My brother was gone. We all pretended Kate was the one for him, but I knew she wasn’t. I hated you even more. We all did. Nobody ever spoke about you, nobody mentioned anything, we just wanted to forget the pain. And then, six months ago, Jake was not himself. He was upset, and in constant war with himself. I thought he was going to lose it, but as soon as we asked him what was going on, he would spin a story of having to deal with young patients and horrible tumors. Then he was happy again. Just like that. He started laughing the way he used to, it was as if he was busy dealing with his demons. I thought it was Kate finally becoming what we all wanted her to become, but I know now it wasn’t. Ask him again,” Amelia begged. “I’m not asking for myself, I’m asking for him. I know who my brother can live with, but I also know who he can’t live without. I want him to be happy. Please, Holly. Fight.”
Holly wrapped her arms around Amelia. Her eyes blurred from all the tears.
“Just fight. Please.”
Holly nodded. She had no idea that Jake felt that way about her. It didn’t seem that way at all. Unless Amelia was making all this up because of Jamie. A child never fixed anything. But somehow, she would find a way to ask him again.
She just didn’t know if she could handle another rejection.
AFTER DOING THE DISHES, HOLLY WENT shopping with Amelia and Moira. Amelia stormed into one clothing store and out of another. She just kept on buying clothes and shoes and things Jamie didn’t need.
“Amelia,” Holly scolded.
“I missed five years, Holly. I’m not blaming you, but I am going to spoil my niece. Deal with it. Besides it’s not just coming from me. It’s from Jake too. So, you cannot say no.”
Holly loved and hate it at the same time. Loved it as she always wanted Jamie to have everything, hate it because she couldn’t give it to her, and was scared they were going to turn her into a spoiled brat. But what choice did she have? She’d kept Jamie from them for five years.
She could’ve easily ignored everyone around her and phoned one of them. Easily. And she would’ve found out so much sooner that he wanted them. Maybe Romy would’ve still been alive. Gus wouldn’t have withdrawn the formula.
She was part of this mess.
She should’ve just made that damn call.
When shopping for clothes was done, it was Toys “R” Us’s turn. Amelia bought a mountain of toys. Dolls Jamie had always wanted, which Holly could never afford. Sullivans forest animal figurines with all their dollhouses and furniture. The toys were expensive. Holly had only ever bought them as incentives. Even though Holly always felt Jamie was too little for incentives, Frank had believed otherwise. She was smart, she knew exactly what incentives were and she made all of them. Now, Amelia was buying everything for her at once. Bye-bye, incentives.
“Amelia, you have to stop, it’s too much.”
“Holly, no. I’ll say when it’s enough.”
Holly glared at her, but Amelia ignored her.
“She is my niece. Just this once, please,” Amelia begged when Holly didn’t cheer up.
“Okay, but it’s more than enough. Please.”
“Okay, I’ll stop.”
“Thank you.”
Holly sighed as they stood in the checkout line. She cringed at the amount of money Amelia was spending
“You do know that she is going to get everything she wants now?” Amelia asked without looking at Holly.
“I know you mean well, Amelia, but she needs boundaries.”
“She’s five, Holls. She needs to be surrounded by gifts and dolls and…”
“Boundaries. I’m not raising a spoiled brat.”
“No, but you are raising a Peters.”
Unamused, Holly just looked at Amelia.
“And she’s our spoiled brat. Deal with it.”
“And when there’s no money, Amelia, what then?”
“There will always be money.”
Holly sucked in her lips and tried not to cry.
Amelia shook her head. “He’s not that guy, Holly. You’ll see.”
She looked down. For some reason, she felt horrible for still thinking that about him.
“Please stop punishing him. Because he’ll never be able to forgive himself if you can’t forgive him first.”
She didn’t know what to say and was glad when Amelia stepped up to the cashier.
Holly stepped aside. She didn’t want to know what that bill was going to be.
It was so wrong how some people could just buy things without looking at what they cost and others had to struggle, working two jobs to just get extra money for the little things.
She would’ve loved to give Jamie what Amelia was doing right now. But she didn’t have that kind money. Not even her father bought her those types of gifts and here, on the very first day, Amelia wanted to acquire the whole fucking store just to make Jamie happy.
The ride home was quiet.
Moira was constantly on her phone. She sat awkwardly against a huge dollhouse and boxes with the Sullivan treehouse and nursery and ice cream shop. Thousands of dollars for all this junk.
“I’m sorry. I know you are mad. Jake is going to kill me. I just want to show her how much we love her. I know it sounds stupid Holly. We’ve only known her for a few hours, but I do love her. This won’t happen again. I promise.”
Holly nodded and gave her a smile. “One thing I can tell: she is going to pee herself.”
Amelia laughed. “What’s so wrong with that?”
“I didn’t raise a spoiled brat.”
“She’ll be our spoiled brat. I promise.”
JAKE
They finally stopped on the other side of the lake. Armand moored the boat at one of the docks, and Jake jumped off, tying the rope against the dock.
He helped everyone to climbed off before grabbing the beach umbrellas from Armand.
He hoped Amelia wasn’t pissing Holly off and stepping on her toes during their shopping trip. The last thing he wanted was to get back to the cabin to an angry Holly who’d want to leave with his daughter the second they disembarked.
After selecting a good spot to spend the day, Jake and Armand set up umbrellas and chairs, and Jake sank down on one of them, a happy sense of calm washing over him as he watched his daughter rushing over to Jane. He handed Jane some sunscreen so she could reapply it on Jamie.
Jane rummaged through the bag she carried and pulled out Jamie’s swimsuit. Rodney moved over to them, covering Jamie with a towel so Jane could help her get dressed.
Jamie emerged from the towel dressed in an adorable two-piece bathing suit, which was also Frozen-themed. His little girl was a real cutie. He smiled when she turned her head toward him, a wide grin on her face.
Jake stood up and took off shirt. He walked over to Jamie and picked her up, heading straight into the water.
His father followed them and they played with Jamie, throwing her back and forth. Her giggles were high-pitched and contagious.
After a few more rounds of tossing her around, he set her next to him in the water and they started swimming and talking. She babbled on about everything under the sun, all the things she liked, and everything she disliked.
And then, she threw him for a loop when she blurted out her next words.
“Are we going to live with you?”
“I don’t know, baby girl, but I’m going to try my damn best.” The minute the words were out of his mouth, he knew he shouldn’t have said that. But he meant every single word. He wanted to give Jamie the moon and the sun, and he’d do everything in his power to make her dreams come true.
Never in a million years had he thought he would love someone the way he loved this little girl. His littl
e girl.
After splashing around for a while longer, they got out of the water and dried off before heading to the umbrellas to grab some snacks.
Jamie sang a song, making small movements with her hands as she did. Jake couldn’t take his eyes off her. Holly used to do that exact same thing.
When she ended the song, everyone applauded and praised her. Jake asked her if she knew any others. She nodded and carried on singing, ending her little performance with “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” with Jane helping here and there when she forgot the words. It melted everyone’s hearts.
His little baby girl didn’t have a shy hair on her body after introductions. She was giving them all a show.
With a grin, Jamie asked if she could go swim again. Armand jumped up, wanting to spend some time with his niece.
Jake was sitting in the chair next to Jane, still shirtless.
“What are these?” Jane asked, staring at his arms.
“Oh, that. It’s the girls’ birthdate.”
“You tattooed it onto your arms?”
Jake shrugged.
“I’ve never liked tattoos, but those are beautiful,” she said.
He shrugged it off, instead asking her more questions, and this time Gus listened, too. She told him about how Dr. Rikus tried to get in touch with him about the trial for the P47, but he was never available.
“I had to take a short break. It was the time Jake was…” He shook his head, unable to finish.
Jane looked at him. “So… tell me what it was like for you.”
“It doesn’t matter, it wasn’t near as bad as what she went through.”
“Jake, I’ve answered everything I can. All that’s left to talk about is what you went through.”
“Not easy,” he said.
“Not easy is an understatement, my boy,” Frank said.
Jane looked at Frank. “Was that why you’ve always wanted to know who their father was?”
“I just thought that maybe the lass had changed her mind. I always had my suspicions, Janey.”
“Then why didn’t you ask me?”
“Excuse me! You know how many times I did.”
All three laughed.
“You should’ve explained the entire story to me, Frank. Maybe I would’ve told you then.”
“C’mon, it’s not going to fix anything now.”
Jake looked at both Jane and Uncle Frankie. He couldn’t handle this. “It’s too late for all that now… I’m going to go in and have a swim with my daughter.”
“You go do that,” Jane said.
Jake knew that the minute he entered the lake, his father would tell her everything. He just didn’t want to be there to hear it all. To relive it all again, and then have to sit there waiting for her to pity him. He was not that type of person.
HOLLY
By the time Holly, Moira, and Amelia walked back into the cabin, it was already afternoon. She had thought the others would have been back already, but the cabin was quiet and the boat wasn’t docked.
They prepared lunch, knowing that the others would be hungry by the time they came back, and set up the table under the trees where they had breakfast this morning.
Holly noticed the hammock suspended between two trees. Amelia told her to go and try it out.
She did and somehow must have dozed off.
After what felt like mere moments, she felt a tiny body joining her on the hammock, but she didn’t open her eyes.
She could hear Jamie’s whispering and other people talking all around her, but she was too tired to open her eyes.
Jamie’s voice quietened down and her body relaxed as it usually did when she was falling asleep.
Holly heard Jake’s voice, asking if anyone had seen Jamie. They were playing hide-and-seek.
“No,” Amelia said.
“What did you buy today?” he asked.
“What I said I was going to buy.”
“If you stepped on her toes…”
“Jake, seriously.”
“I’m just saying, Amelia. She has rules with Jamie. We need to fall in with them, not make new ones.”
“I hear you.”
It was quiet and then Amelia’s voice spoke again. “She’s in the hammock.”
“I…” Jake started and didn’t finish. Holly felt awake but her eyes and body was still asleep. It was the weirdest feeling. She couldn’t see Jake, obviously, but she could feel his eyes on them.
Hair tickled her nose softly at the sound of a soft kiss being placed on Jamie’s head.
“Sweet dreams, sweetheart,” he spoke softly and then he was gone. Everything went quiet.
For a long time, Holly heard nothing, and she fell fast asleep until she woke up from Mara’s voice.
“Tell her the truth. I’m not going to be the bitch in this story. You all agreed with your brother. He didn’t want the baby.”
“Mom, don’t do this. Holly, don’t listen to my mother.”
She looked around for Jane, for Frank, but neither of them were there, and neither was Rodney. It was just the Peters and they were all fighting. She couldn’t handle the screaming and the fighting.
Jamie was there. She was scared. Armand didn’t want Holly to go and comfort Jamie. Mara did.
“Tell them, Jake. Tell Holly what you told her. I’m not the bad guy here.”
“Fine,” Jake yelled. “It is what it is, Holly. I got to go.” He turned around and walked away. Holly yelled after him to stay, but he didn’t listen.
Suddenly, she woke up.
She was still in the hammock, which was rocking like crazy.
“Easy.” Rod was at her side in a flash and stabilized the hammock.
Holly’s heart was beating furiously. She felt like crying. That dream was so real.
“You okay?” he asked.
She shook her head. Jamie wasn’t next to her anymore. “We need to leave. Now.”
“Holly, come here.” Rod pulled her close and held her tight. “It’s was just a dream. It’s not real.”
She was close to tears. “It felt real.”
“You okay?” Jake’s voice came from out of nowhere.
She pushed Rod away. “I think it’s time to go,” she said and walk past him.
“Holly, what happened?” Jake asked, running after her.
“Nothing. I just think we should go.”
“Talk to me. What is it?”
“Stop hovering, Jake. Please,” she cried.
“It was just a dream.” It felt as if he could read her mind again. “Stay, please.”
“I don’t want to impo…”
“You are not imposing,” he spoke a little too loudly. “Just stay, please. Dinner is coming, and Jamie is in the bath.”
“Jake, if Holly wants to go…”
“With all due respect, Rod, just stay out of this, just this once, please.”
They both had a mini stare-down, then Jake looked back to Holly. “Please.”
“Fine,” she said and walked to the cabin. She heard Rodney saying something to Jake, but she couldn’t make out the words.
Rodney followed her into the house and pulled her into the bathroom to speak to her.
“Holly, if you want to go, we can go. He’s not the boss of you.”
“It was just a dream.”
“Dreams shouldn’t be ignored.”
“So what, he’s lying now? Is that what you are saying?” Her voice hitched on the question, the emotion thick in it.
“What did you dream?”
“What I always dream, just differently.”
“He said the words.”
“He always says them.”
He hugged Holly again. “I don’t know whether I can trust him I can trust him.”
“Why is it so difficult for you?”
“Because he’s too damn perfect.”
“He is, isn’t he?”
Rodney sighed. “I want to trust him, Holly. But I don’t know if I can.”
&nb
sp; “I know. I’m sorry I’m not more like you.”
He hugged her again. “Don’t ever apologize for who you are. I just hope he realizes how lucky he is that you are the mother of that gorgeous little girl and not another person.”
She sniffed.
“Whatever you decide, I’m always there. You got it?”
She nodded.
He kissed the top of her head, squeezing her tightly.
*******
Jake shook his head and left before Rodney and Holly left the bathroom and found him eavesdropping. Who was Rodney to Holly? Their relationship seemed far too lovey-dovey for his liking. He loathed everything about their closeness. He was sure Rod wasn’t Holly’s boyfriend, because he knew about the affair and he was still here with her. All Jake really knew was that Rod hated him for what he thought Jake had done to Holly, and that Jake hadn’t been there for her and Jamie.
He turned and went into the kitchen just as his father and Frank came in through the door with the Chinese takeout. As Jake started dishing up the food, Jamie came barreling out of his room with Amelia following right behind her. She’d taken a bath in his bathroom because of the spa bathtub. She had spent close to an hour playing in it.
His thoughts wandered to what he had overheard Holly and Rodney speaking about. How many times had she had that dream? Did she dream it as often as he dreamt that they were a happy family? Those words were still haunting her, even after he’d told her he hadn’t uttered them. He should have told her he’d already seen his mother and spoken to her, then all of this could have been avoided.
He couldn’t understand why she’d believed all the lies so easily. He had been so sure she’d known how much he’d loved her, but perhaps love hadn’t been enough.
“You okay?” Amelia asked, snapping him out of his reverie.
He nodded as he opened one of the boxes with the black beef oyster dishes. Chines takeout was his favorite, and from the way Jamie was tearing through her food, it was hers as well. Now the knowing smile on Holly’s face during their picnic lunch made sense. Jamie loved Chinese food, and he’d reminded her of that.
Secret Love (The 4Ever Series Book 2) Page 40