Secret Love (The 4Ever Series Book 2)

by Isabella White

  Holly and Rod entered the kitchen. Jake averted his gaze, watching Holly from the corner of his eye. She leaned down and kissed Jamie on the top of her head.

  “You have a nice sleep?” Amelia asked.

  “Yeah, that hammock sleeps like a dream.”

  Amelia laughed.

  More like a nightmare, Jake thought to himself as he picked up some beef and rice with his chopsticks.

  “You hungry?” Amelia asked and Holly shook her head.

  “Sweetheart, you should eat something.”

  “I will when I’m hungry, Mommy. But not now.”

  She didn’t look at him. What did these dreams portray him as, a fucking jerk? How was he ever supposed to make things right with her, if he had to fight against her dreams—and Rodney? It was hopeless.

  After dinner, they all went outside. Armand made a wicked bonfire. They all roasted marshmallows and made s’mores.

  Jamie wolfed three s’mores down, her little body snug on Jake’s lap.

  He felt Holly’s eyes on them, but whenever he looked at her, her gaze shifted to the fire.

  Jamie tugged on his shirt. “Daddy, can I go watch cartoons?”

  Jake nodded and stood up, balancing her on his hip and made his way back into the house and into his room.

  Amelia joined them after a while.

  She looked at Jake. “You shouldn’t be hiding in here.”

  “I can’t do this, Amelia. Not after what she’s been through,” he whispered.

  “This is your responsibility, too. You need to take her somewhere and fight like you never fought before. I’ll stay and watch over Jamie.”

  He sighed and nodded, got up and changed his clothes. He put on a white button-up shirt and a pair of jeans with flip-flops. Amelia was right. He need to have a private conversation with Holly. He went over to his desk and took out the black folder that carried all the forms Holly had to sign and went back downstairs. He went out to his car and placed the folder in the side panel of the driver’s door and the headed back to the bonfire.

  He only caught a little of the conversation as he neared.

  His dad and Rod were joking with each other, but then he heard both his and Jamie’s names. Jake paused.

  “Seriously, she told me the guy’s name was Steven,” Rod said.

  “Baby,” Jane scolded.

  “He wanted to work with Jake. I couldn’t tell him.” Holly said.

  Jake laughed and walked out. “I’ll take that as a compliment,” he said and made up his mind. This was it. Rod needed to understand one thing.

  Jake went and sat next to Rod.

  “You going clubbing?” he asked Jake as he offered him a beer, but Jake declined the offer.

  He merely stared at Rodney, which made him uncomfortable.

  “You sure you don’t want a beer, Jake?” Rodney asked holding one in his hand. His family laughed at how serious Jake’s expression was as he looked at Rod.

  “Nope,” said Jake.

  “Then why are you staring at me?”

  Jake chuckled. “You thought I was a douchebag.”

  “What? Like I said, I didn’t even know she was your kid.”

  Holly smiled.

  “Seriously, dude, how could you not see that she’s mine?”

  Rod laughed, too. “Okay, fine. I thought you were a major fucking douchebag,” he said, and looked at Jake again.

  “You should’ve said something.”

  “I just said I didn’t know. I only found out through one of Holly’s painting sessions.”

  Holly almost choked on her drink, coughing hard. Jane hit her on the back as she started to laugh. “Sorry.” She blushed and Rod chuckled.

  “Painting session?” Jake asked not having a slightest idea how a painting session lead to him finding out. Did Holly paint a picture of him? He didn’t even know she could paint.

  “Baby… you paint?” Jane asked, too.

  “Mom, please.”

  “Oh, Holly paints masterpieces, Jane.” Rod sounded serious but slightly sarcastic at the same time.

  “Rod, stop, please.” Holly was grave.

  “Why do I get a feeling we are not talking about real painting here?” Jane asked again and Holly just closed her eyes and suppressed her smile.

  “If I wasn’t gay, Holly and I would’ve painted masterpieces.”

  He didn’t just say that! He’s gay.

  “Ohh, painting.” Her mother got it and started laughing.

  “Seriously?” Holly asked Rod. Jake just stared at him. Now their relationship was making sense. Rod was gay?

  “Dude, you’re gay?” Jake blurted, and everyone laughed.

  Rod’s eyes became as big as saucers.

  “How did you not know that?” Rod and Holly asked at the same time.

  “Seriously, I’m dying to know, too.” Jane looked at him again.

  “My gay radar is usually good. You don’t act gay.”

  “How must gays act?” Rod asked.

  “Well, they usually become extremely annoying around me,” Jake said.

  Everyone chuckled.

  “Maybe you’re not my type.” Rod sounded serious.

  “Fuck, finally,” Jake said to the sky, which had everyone in stitches. Then Jake burst out laughing, too. “Painting lessons… I get it now. You are a fucking idiot, you know that?” He looked at Rod, who simply shrugged.

  Jake finally stood, keys in hand and looked at Jane. “You sure you’ll be comfortable here?” he asked.

  “Comfortable?” Holly asked her mother.

  “We are more than comfortable.” Jane ignored Holly which was still looking at her mom.

  “Holly,” Jake turned his gaze to her. “Would you like to join me for a drink?” He turned his head Rod’s way. “And, no, it’s not another painting lesson.”

  “Oh, no, it’s just a painting lesson that brought you here.”

  “So embarrassing,” he said and shook his head as both Gus and Frank started laughing, finally catching on to what painting meant in this context.

  “So, I guess you will be scrubbing in again soon, Dr. Ballucio?”

  “You bet,” Rod confirmed as Holly got up.

  “Can I just go and grab my jacket?” she asked and he nodded.

  He decided to wait for Holly in the kitchen as he didn’t want to be near the conversation that would take place at the bonfire.

  Holly returned in less than a few minutes with a black leather jacket over her summer dress.

  She looked beautiful in everything, but tonight wasn’t about that. Tonight, he had to fight.

  HOLLY

  Jake left the front door first and Holly followed.

  “Enjoy your evening,” Jane yelled.

  “Mom!” Holly said when she saw the painting gestures her mother was making. Seriously.

  The Beast was parked right where Amelia had left it this afternoon. They both got in, Jake started the engine, and they drove off.

  It was quiet at first as they drove out the black gates and down the bumpy road. She couldn’t stand the silence.

  “You guys enjoy the day at the lake?” she asked.

  “Uh huh,” was all he said without looking at her.

  Her heart beat at how cold he’d turned in a fraction of a minute. It made her angry. “Is this how it’s going to be tonight? You answering me with uh huhs?”

  Jake shook his head, biting down on his lower lip. He was angry at her. “I just don’t understand why you never phoned me, Holly.” He’s voice was soft, his tone filled with disappointment and hurt. “When you discovered you were having twins, didn’t you for once think that phoning me, or my father for that matter, might have saved Romalia’s life?”

  She fumed. He hadn’t said more than a few words to her the entire day, but begged her to stay when she wanted to leave, and now he wanted to fight with her? “You think I don’t punish myself for that every day, Jake? Knowing that there was something out there that could’ve perhaps saved her
life, yet I was too big of a fucking coward to give him a call?” she yelled. She didn’t need this right now. She wiped away a tear as she looked out the window. She’d known he’d be angry at her, she just hadn’t thought it would come this soon, which happened to be right after he’d joked about their affair.

  “You have no idea how hard it was today, spending time with Jamie knowing there should’ve been two.”

  Holly chuckled sarcastically. “You’ve had it for one day, Jake. Try living with it for five years!”

  “You didn’t give me that chance!” he yelled, hitting his hands hard on the steering wheel, causing her to flinch. “You just ran.”

  “I had no choice. You said you didn’t want the baby.” Her voice broke.

  “I never said that!”

  She’d never seen him this angry before. She knew he would end up blaming her and she wished that she could just go back home. She wasn’t ready for any of this.

  The rest of the trip was bumpy and spent in silence. She hated every second of it and she struggled finding her breath.

  Finally, the town’s lights started to show between the trees and a few minutes later, they drove into the busy street. Jake stopped at a restaurant and parked the SUV.

  He got out, slammed his door, and walked with huge strides to the restaurant. Sighing, Holly followed suit.

  Jake was in friendly mode when speaking to the hostess, who had a huge smile on her face as he spoke to her. Holly could see she was wondering how Holly could be with Jake.

  The hostess hastily grabbed menus.

  “We’re just going to have something to drink, please.” Jake smiled again.

  Placing the menus down, she said, “Sure, follow me,” and led the way. Holly hated how he’d casually said that. They were taken to a table close by.

  “Do you have something more private?” Jake asked and the hostess looked at Holly again.

  “Sure.” She then led them to a corner table. “How is this?”

  Jake smiled. “Perfect, thank you.” He put his keys on the table with a folder and sat down. Holly looked at the folder before she took the chair opposite him. He ordered a Chivas on the rocks. She couldn’t help wondering what the hell was in the folder.

  “Holly…” he asked her.

  “Light beer, please,” she said, and the hostess disappeared.

  Jake didn’t say a word. Instead, she found him glaring at her.

  “Don’t look at me like that. I had no choice but to leave. If I’d stayed, you would’ve convinced me to get an abortion and I would’ve done it. I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself.”

  “I would never have asked you to get an abortion.” He sounded disgusted.

  “I didn’t know that then. To me, you were this fucking idiot who had changed his mind.” Holly used the same tone he had, then looked at him again. How much longer was he going to blame her for all that had happened? “Believe me, you are not the only one angry here, Jake. Your mother is good at what she does. She said horrible things that day, and when you did pick up…” She shook her head and sniffed. “How was I supposed to know it was a recording from a conversation you never even mentioned?”

  “It wasn’t meant for you. I said those words to my mother.”

  “I didn’t know it then, okay? If you’d just told me about that…” She wiped a tear with her hand. None of it mattered anymore.

  “I didn’t want to upset you. You’d already dealt with so much.”

  She shook her head.

  “Why didn’t you phone me, fight, yell, anything?”

  “Believe me, I attempted to call you, but it’s hard when my father is fighting with me on one side, telling me what an asshole you are for having dumped us like that, and my mother is telling me what-ifs don’t exist, well… not for us Scallangers. They have their faults, Jake, but they tried to make things easier on me back then, tried to spare me more hurt. They didn’t know any better. I wasn’t raised like you; I was taught to run when things couldn’t be sorted out, not fight for them. You grew up with siblings. Mine died when she was fifteen, and we hardly fought. So, I’m sorry I didn’t stay and fight, but I never had role models as you did.” She burst into tears. Jake just sat there. He was so angry, but she was, too.

  The waitress returned with their drinks and Jake thanked her again with a soft smile. As soon as she left them, he started asking more questions. Questions about her father, becoming angry again as to why she’d gone to the man she hated the most for help, when she hadn’t stayed and fought for someone she didn’t loathe. He just didn’t get it.

  She didn’t want to make him see it either, because it was going to force her to tell him how she’d really felt back then. It would make her sound pathetic, and besides, she still felt the same way about him. So, they argued some more.

  He even asked her what happened that day, to recount it in her own words, which she hated to relive it again. He had an expression on his face that she couldn’t decipher. It was as if he didn’t believe her. Well, if Jamie wasn’t enough proof and Romalia’s death didn’t convince him, nothing would. She had evidence.

  He picked up the folder and took out two forms. He slid them across the table to her.

  “What are these?” Her voice broke as she continued to stare at the papers. If he thought she was going to sign her daughter away, he was in for a huge fucking surprise.

  “Just sign them, please.”

  “I’m not signing anything until I know what it is I’m signing.” She picked the forms up and was surprised to see the P&E logo on top of the one page, not a lawyer’s firm. Her eyes scanned the page and stopped when she saw her daughter’s name. “What is this for?”

  “I need you to give me permission to see their files.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I need to know what happened. If I’m going to be able to get over this, I need to know everything, Holly.”

  She shook her head. “Why didn’t you ask Frank or any of us today? We were there waiting.”

  He didn’t say anything.

  “I’m not going to do that.”

  “They are my children, too, Holly. I have all the right to know what Romalia died from. Frank can’t say much by law. Please, I need to see their files.”

  “Then what, Jake? You are going to blame me more for not calling any of you. It’s in the past, we can’t go back and save her. She’s dead.”

  He shook his head, his mouth slightly agape. It looked as if he was going to breathe fire. She hated the tears that welled up in his eyes, knowing it was because she’d said their daughter was dead, like she’d meant nothing. It was the total opposite.

  Jake continued to stare at her with his blue eyes, which were freaking her out. “You lost her five years ago. I lost her two days ago. A little more compassion wouldn’t kill you,” he said through clenched teeth as his voice broke.

  “I didn’t mean it like that. Just let it go. You really don’t need to know.”

  “I can’t.” He was adamant.

  “Jake.” Please, God, just give me the strength I need.

  “Holly, I need those files. Not negotiable.”

  “Fine,” she said. She didn’t have the strength to fight. God hadn’t listened to her plea tonight. She grabbed his pen and signed the first one. She turned it over and found a second one with her name on it. Her files. “You don’t need mine.”

  “It’s not for me, it’s for my dad.”

  “It’s not going to help anything, Jake. It’s in the fucking past.”

  “Just sign it, please. He learns a lot from cases like yours.”

  She hated every second she was enduring his company, because it felt like she had no voice at all. Talking to a brick wall was more like it. “Fine,” she said, signing on the dotted line. “What else do you want me to hand to you on a fucking silver platter, Jake?”

  He stared at her, but didn’t say anything.

  “I can’t do this with you.” She was drained. She got up to
leave.

  “Holly, we are not done yet.”

  “I want to get back to Jamie.”

  “She’s with Amelia and your mom. She’s fine. We need to sort this out.”

  Holly pinched her eyes and took a huge breath.

  “Sit back down… please.”

  The chair screeched loudly and she dropped into it, her jaw muscles pumping.

  “Would you stop that? I have the right to be a bit pissed off, don’t you think?”

  She stared at him in disbelief. “You have the right? What about me, Jake? You have no idea how any of this feels. Knowing that, for some stupid fucking reason, your mother never liked me. That she actually did what she did?” She couldn’t finish her sentence and wiped away her tears again. Angry tears. She’d tried to hide them, but it was no use.

  “Holly, I can’t talk to you when you are crying.”

  He was so fucking cold.

  “I don’t want to sort anything out anymore,” she said to him, sniffing. “I knew you were going to blame me.”

  Jake looked sorry that he’d been so hard on her, but his eyes gave him away. He was still furious.

  “You want the truth, Jake? It’s a mess. Everything is a fucking mess, and I don’t know how I’m going to tell a five-year-old anything without crushing her dreams. I’m tired. I just want to go home.” She sighed. She didn’t know how much she could take anymore.

  Jake looked down and shook his head. “No, it’s not going to be that easy. We are going to sit here until this is done.”

  Holly huffed. “What else do you want to know so we can be done with this?” she spat. She’d tried to protect her girls from someone she thought wanted to kill them. Why couldn’t he fucking see that?

  “The bills.”

  She took a huge breath. “They are paid for, Jake, my dad paid for everything.”

  “I don’t give a flying fuck if he paid for everything, Holly. They were my responsibility.”

  She chuckled. “You think my dad is going to accept any money from you? Best you think again. He won’t buy into this for one second, Jake.”

  “I don’t need him to, Holly. I only need you to believe me.”