I dreamt I was home, with my mother, in our little trailer home. She looked happy, and we were singing and dancing around the house like we used to do when my father came in and started to dance with us. It was natural, as if he had always been there. We were a family. Visions of my parents' wedding kept creeping into my dreams. I dreamt multiple ceremonies, one I was in. I stood next to my mother who was dressed in yellow, as they took their vows. In another one, my mother was pregnant with me, dressed in light blue, standing next to my father in the great room of the Levannah house. Another was before my conception. This one she was wearing white. The dress was long with details of lace around the neck, sleeves and train, and tiny diamonds sewn into the silk fabric. It fit her snugly at the top while the bottom was large and fluffy. Her face was gorgeous and happy. In all of these dreams my father was the same, dressed in a black suit wearing a look of love as he gazed at my mother. I was woken from this one with the hot liquid down my throat, leaving me rather annoyed as I drifted back to my lucidity.
Maybe it was my state of irritation, but when I returned to my dream land it was a nightmare. My parents lay on top of each other, covered in blood. I was alone and screaming. I tried to reach them, to touch them, to untangle them, but I couldn’t. Every time I got close I was thrown back as though they were housed in an invisible electric wall. I had this dream many times during my vegetation, and each time it was Denali who carried me away.
I dreamt of Shep as well. We were kids in many of them. Running and playing back home, happy and carefree as we had always been. I dreamt of our special place on the mountain, above our homes. I replayed his proposal over and over. I watched our first lovemaking and our last. I dreamt of our wedding. Not the one in Neveah, the one we never got to have. We were home in Keno. We appeared naïve as though we had never been to, or heard of Neveah. The only difference was my father was there, but even that seemed natural, as though he had always been there. I was dressed in a light beige dress that had a thin layer of lace covering. It was fitted on top, but the skirt flowed slightly, reaching my feet. The dress was beautiful, yet simple. I wore a lace veil and carried a bouquet of wild flowers. We were in the forest around our homes. No one was there except our parents, who flanked each side of us, and a preacher. Shep wore khaki pants with a white shirt and a beige tie. He was a magnificent sight. We married under an enormous pine tree, and when we sealed it with a kiss I whispered, “I’m pregnant.” I woke myself this time.
I woke covered in sweat with a heavy feeling in my heart. At the time, I wasn’t sure how long I had been out, but the smell of myself told me it had been a long time. I sat up, looking around the room and realized I was back in the Levannah house, in my mother’s old bed. I knew then that I didn’t dream of flying. I actually had been, with my destination being this place. By instinct, my hand ran itself over my belly and the final detail of my dream came back to me.
I was shocked to feel my belly, slightly swollen and hard. I stood up, thinking maybe my position would change things. My position didn’t change anything. My belly was still swollen and hard. I knew, without a doubt I was pregnant, but had to take a few minutes to really convince myself. I started to laugh, all of a sudden elated to be carrying Shep’s baby. I rubbed my hands over my stomach over and over, needing to feel the tiny bump. I couldn’t wait to tell him. Then I remembered he was gone, and I began to cry. I realized I was truly alone. My mother, my father, Shep, and Leah were all gone. I was on my own. I sobbed, mourning my losses, but quickly pulled myself together. This baby, however strange it sounds, was a blessing. Granted I was alone, but I didn’t care. My mother raised me alone, and we were just fine. The only difference being, I knew Shep was alive, and I was hoping against hope that he would return to me. I knew he loved me, and I would wait for him to come back to me.
Bonus Short Story
Serephina
Born a princess to the great rulers, Avery and Avalon, Serephina never felt as though she fit the role of a princess. She was a beautiful sight, make no mistake, but she didn’t have a fighting bone in her fragile little body. Though peace had been bestowed upon Neveah for as long as her parents and her grandparents had lived, there was always that possibility that the elves would do what they were born to do, protect the land.
Serephina’s people made up a large part of population of Neveah due to the fact that elves had rather long life spans and were very affectionate, loving creatures that lived to procreate and protect. Serephina was the oldest girl in her family with 15 brothers and 12 sisters. Being the oldest put Serephina in line to rule the elf village, should tragedy ever take her parents. She didn’t want the part.
From the day she was born, her parents could see that she was a gentle creature. Growing up, she never fought with her siblings; rather she was always the peacemaker. She was never angered and never showed a sense of having that fight in her as most other elves did. She reveled in caring for her younger siblings and was distraught when she learned her mother would not be able to produce any more children.
“Serephina dear, I am getting on in years, even for an elf. My body can’t handle birthing any more children. I am sorry, love. You are old enough now, maybe it’s time you found your own husband and started your own family,” Avalon suggested to her beautiful, gentle daughter. Serephina knew as her mother spoke, that finding a husband would also mean leaving home. It would also mean that she would have to dig deep inside to find the fighting spirit that all other elves developed naturally. It was missing inside of Serephina.
“Mother, as much as I would love a family of my own, who would want to marry me? I am not like the other girls. We are born lovers and fighters and, though I have the ability to love very deeply, we both know I was not born a fighter,” she said in response with tears threatening her giant emerald eyes. Her mother knew well that her daughter was not like the others, yet always hoped that the spirit would come to her.
“There is someone for you, Serephina, you just have to find him,” her mother told her reassuringly, hoping that her daughter believed her.
Later that night, when the village was asleep, Serephina packed a small bag and left her home. She hoped one day she could return as a fighter. She wanted nothing more than to be with her people but she was different and she couldn’t change that.
She spent the first few nights sleeping in the forest and thanked the heavens that the weather was warm enough for her to do so. She had no destination. Though the elves kept company with many of the creatures in Neveah, Serephina had never made any real friends. She spent her whole life caring and loving her siblings. Making friends never crossed her mind.
She wandered the land during the day and made camp at night. She had never traveled far from her village and was in awe of the land she had called home. Her village was beautiful she knew; she never imagined the entire land was magnificent. As she explored the land, she felt happiness settle in her heart. She thought she could do this forever. Then she saw her.
The woman looked like a giant in comparison to Serephina but she was magnificent. Her hair, long and white, fell around her shoulders in kinky curls. Her face was nearly angelic with her porcelain skin and red stained lips. Serephina felt her breath catch in her throat when the woman stood, revealing a swollen belly under her satin gown. Serephina couldn’t explain why but she was drawn to the woman and the unborn child. She felt as though she had found the piece of her heart that had been missing for so long. She quietly stepped out from behind the bush that had been hiding her and said quietly, “Hello.”
The woman in white turned to the little elf and smiled as though she had been expecting her. “Hello Serephina,” she responded.
“How do you know my name?” Serephina asked in a shaky voice. She should have been afraid of the stranger but she wasn’t, she was fascinated.
“I have known you for a very long time. We have been waiting for you.”
“Who has been waiting for me?”
“Come with me, Se
rephina, and I will explain everything. You are home now. This is where you belong,” said the stranger, beckoning Serephina. The elf couldn’t explain why she was so drawn to the woman, nor why she followed the stranger but she felt in her heart that this was her destiny.
When she entered the house, she was immediately taken aback. The house, while seemingly simple, had the feeling of total peace as soon as she entered. She was introduced to a man with a tousle of white curly hair on top of his head and the bluest eyes Serephina had ever seen. The strange lady went to the man and he wrapped a protective arm around her, a smile never leaving his face.
“I see you have found her?” he said with joy in his deep voice.
“Actually she found me,” the lady said with the same joy. The two strange creatures stood staring at her as though they had been given a new toy.
“I’m sorry but how is it that you know me and why am I here?” Serephina asked through a shaky voice. She wasn’t afraid. The house was too peaceful to be afraid. Her hosts were too beautiful to cause fright. She was nervous though and that rang in her high little voice.
The strange lady jumped as though something shocked her before coming to Serephina and saying, “Oh I am sorry dear. Please come sit and we will explain.” Serephina followed the two of them to a large sitting room full of pillows. She found a smaller one and sat down as instructed.
The lady went on to explain that her name was Lady Eirene Levannah and the man was her husband, Lord Adair Levannah, they were the rulers of the land. Serephina knew their names the moment they left the woman’s mouth. She had heard many stories of the rulers. They were greatly admired by all creatures in Neveah for ruling with warm hearts and keeping the land peaceful.
“I thought you would never come, Serephina, but Adair promised you would. He was right and I am so happy.”
“Why were you waiting for me?” Serephina asked, confusion thick in her voice.
“Well, you see, we know why you left home. We know that you have a soft heart. You are not the fighter elf that most elves are. We know how out of place you felt back home and how heartbroken you were when you learned your mother could have no more children. We know that your big heart brought you to us. You can be happy here Serephina. You can be yourself. I am hoping you will help me with my own children.”
“Help with your children?”
“Yes, we would very much like you to stay with us and help raise our children. You have such a wonderful maternal instinct, Serephina. Your help would be invaluable to me.”
Serephina knew she should think things over. She shouldn’t just jump at the chance of caring for royal children. She should, at the very least, speak to her mother, hear her opinion, and get her advice. She knew all these things, yet she dismissed any misgivings and jumped at the chance to become part of the Levannah house.
“Of course I will help you. Nothing makes me happier than caring for children,” Serephina said, her little bow mouth drawn into a deep smile. The Lord and Lady Levannah smiled back, their hearts warmed by the magnificent little elf.
“Come with me, I will show you around your knew home,” said Lady Levannah.
“Of course Lady Levannah,” Serephina responded.
“Please dear, call me Eirene. We are going to be wonderful friends.”
“Of course Eirene. Thank you.”
Serephina was shown around the home, the nursery, the kitchen, the eating area, the gathering room and to her room. These people really had been expecting her. The walls were covered in a rich purple fabric, the windows covered in heavy white curtains. There was a large bed in the center of the room with a fireplace nestled into the wall. She was shown her bathroom and a closet full of clothes. She was nearly speechless.
“Thank you,” she whispered as she looked around in awe. Tears threatened to escape her violet eyes but her hand ran across her face forcing the tears back.
“No thank you Serephina. I am grateful to have you here,” Eirene said before leaving the elf to herself for a bit.
The years to follow brought much joy and happiness to Serephina. The firstborn child was girl; they called her Annika. Two more pregnancies followed but Eirene was unable to birth either of them which left the entire house heartbroken. Finally, after two failed attempts, the Lady gave birth to a son; they called him Denali. Serephina spent her days with the children and watched proudly as they learned to talk, walk, read and write. In her spare time, she kept the company of Renny, a house guardian.
Renny quickly became Serephina’s best friend. Whenever she was not with the children and when he could get his brother, Diallo, to guard the house, they would explore Neveah. Renny always made her smile and they were never short of laughter. When Annika Levannah was old enough to recognize the connection she questioned Serephina.
“Is he your boyfriend,” she asked at the tender age of fifteen.
“Of course not,” Serephina replied as she helped button the back of the girls gown. “Renny and I are the best of friends but that is all.”
“Why only friends? Surely you can see the love in his eyes when he looks at you and I can see the love in your eyes when you look at him.”
“Nonsense child, in case you missed it, I am an elf and he has sworn to protect his house. We are from a different species. We cannot be together like that.”
“Says who?” Annika questioned, for that, Serephina did not have an answer. Rather than encouraging the girl Serephina let the subject drop, until she saw Renny again.
Serephina forced herself to look deeper into her relationship with Renny. Though she thought Annika was a foolish girl who didn’t understand the ways of the world, she couldn’t help but be curious as to what the girl saw in Renny’s eyes. She was sure it wasn’t love. It couldn’t be but it was and she knew she loved him as well. Renny couldn’t help but notice that Serephina was distracted and even agitated.
“Are you OK Sere?” he asked and she laughed nervously. She wondered if he knew he was in love with her or that she was in love with him. She tried to find a soft way to say what she needed to say but she came to the conclusion that this was not going to be easy so she just came out with it.
“No, actually I am not OK. Are you aware that you are in love with me and I am with you?” she asked bluntly. His dark green eyes widened in shock. It was now his turn to laugh nervously as she stood staring at him. For the first time she consciously noticed his appearance. She had always known he was handsome but now she realized he was breathtakingly handsome. His curly blond hair hung just above his shoulders, barely grazing his porcelain skin. His dark green eyes were rimmed with thick, dark lashes and his mouth always seemed to be smiling. Yes he is beautiful. The thought made her suddenly self-conscious and she immediately regretted what she had said. How could a creature so lovely love her back?
She stood there, all of three and a half feet of her and felt more self-aware than she had ever felt. She suddenly wished she was a foot taller with blond hair instead of purple. She wished her eyes were a normal color and that her face was more proportioned. Her lips were too red and a little too big. She began twirling her hair as she silently picked herself apart. He was being too silent for too long and this deepened her anxiety.
“I’m sorry, I should not have said that,” she said as she began to walk away. She was just a few feet away from him when she felt his hand on her arm.
“Don’t go,” he said quietly as he pulled her closer.
“You don’t have to do this Renny. You don’t have to pretend to love me just to save my feelings. I am a stupid girl that had a crazy thought, nothing more,” she said while trying to pull away.
“You have never been more wrong, Sere. You see, I do love you, with my entire heart. I have known that since I first laid eyes on you. I just didn’t know you loved me too.”
She couldn’t believe her ears. Annika had been right; he did love her. She didn’t know how it would work or if it could work but in that moment, Serephina’s life was perfec
t.
Standing Broken
Book 2
~Chapter One~
My mind was in a fog as I stood outside the glass burial chamber. I could see my mother and father laid out beautifully within the glass walls. I was told the memorial had been magnificent. I slept through it. My meme explained the ritual to me. “In Neveah people are not buried in the dirt, as it’s customary on Earth, rather entombed in beautiful chambers to ensure a peaceful passage to the other world.” She spoke in a soft whisper that was laced with grief. The more she explained, the more I realized that the Neveahians’ thoughts on death were similar to those I had learned as a child. Death was permanent and left behind grieving family and friends. The difference was, those in Neveah put forth great effort in celebrating a life. They made a conscious decision not to mourn a death. Meme tried to emphasize the ‘not mourning’ part of the story, but her own grief was painfully obvious. She was trying to comfort me and though I appreciated her effort, I found it hard to celebrate anything. I was much more in tune with mourning death.
The other world was believed to be paradise, even more so than Neveah, which I found hard to believe. The people left behind were supposed to celebrate a passing. It was seen as entering a paradise where all would be reunited one day. Not everyone was admitted to this otherworldly paradise. Those who had done evil in their lives were banished to a faraway island where they lived cold and alone, trapped in their own hell. With very little evil ever existing in Neveah, the island was nearly desolate. I hoped that was where Jax found himself and where Kelsha would end up as well.
Meme told me citizens from all corners of Neveah came to bid farewell to my parents, sprinkle fairy dust, or cast spells that were meant to guarantee a safe passage to the other world. Though I was proud to know my parents had been adored by so many Neveahians, I wasn’t sorry that I missed the memorial. I didn’t want to be surrounded by hundreds of strangers as I told my parents goodbye.
Neveah Box Series (Neveah Box Set Book 5) Page 24