“Please, do tell,” he encouraged. Kelsha smiled at him before educating him on frozen life.
“Well, the food that is made on the island differs from the mainland. The land itself produces winter berries that yield a perfectly sweet juice, as well as a variety of vegetables that can only grow in the frozen terrain. All the fruit and vegetables grow in abundance naturally and plentiful. Since the island is frozen year around, the vegetation grows constantly. The island is also home to a few species of animals that can be hunted, though a few species are rather dangerous and we should always be on guard. Children should be kept within the confines of the fortress, never wondering out on their own,” she warned. Heren nodded in agreement. He had heard of such cold blooded animals that were vicious killers. They would need to be cautious.
“Come now, the others will be arriving soon. We must go down to greet them,” she said and turned to leave the room.
Before long, the Specials that had followed Kelsha from home to home began arriving. Some were on their own flying creatures, others on foot or horse, having traveled the water aboard the water serpent, but all arrived in good spirits and anxious to build a life in the new land. Kelsha stood atop the large entryway to address her followers.
“Welcome, everyone! This is our new home! As you can see there is plenty of living space for the entire colony as well as an abundance of food. Always be on alert, though, there are dangerous creatures on the island, we must be aware at all times. As we all know a war is coming between us and the Levannah family. They want us out of Neveah, but this is our home, our land. We will fight for what belongs to us. We will overcome and we will rule the land!” She ended to a roar of encouragement as all the Specials felt a sense of empowerment. Kelsha smiled as she looked out over her people.
Later that night in their bedchamber, for the first time since the death of her child, Kelsha allowed Heren to love her. She had become celibate in her grief, refusing to let Heren touch her. He was understanding in the beginning, even agreeing to sleep in separate quarters, but as time moved on, Heren became restless. He had remained faithful, but his resolve was growing weaker the more she rejected him. Kelsha could feel Heren slipping away and knew it was her doing.
She was very fond of him, and in love with his admiration of her. She couldn’t allow him to wander. She knew she would have to welcome him back to bed. For the first time in a long time, Kelsha felt secure about the place she was in. She felt like herself again. She didn't feel like the woman who failed to give birth to a healthy baby. She was in control again and seeing the colony, her colony, standing for her and cheering for her, restored her sense of control that had been lacking since the child died. She felt herself coming back into itself, and Heren's want of her brought her a feeling of sexiness back.
“Heren, my love?”
“Yes, Kelsha,” he answered as he readied himself for bed. The baby was fast asleep and Heren was happy to be sleeping in the same room as Kelsha. Though he didn't expect any lovemaking, this was a step in the right direction.
“Why don't you stop dressing in those nightclothes and come lie with me?” He stopped at once and turned to her. He could hear the old Kelsha in her voice and felt his heart flutter when he turned to find her sitting on the bed, nude, and waiting for him. She was ready for him, once again, and he felt his body respond to the sight of her.
“Are you sure?” he asked cautiously.
“Yes, Heren, I am sorry it has been so long. Thank you for waiting for me to heal. I am healed now. I am here with you again and I am aching for you. Please come to me.” Her voice was shaky as she spoke, realizing this was the first time she had ever been nervous when seducing a man.
Kelsha had made love to Heren time and time again, yet her belly was in knots as she lay before him, naked, and vulnerable. It had been so long, and she was ready for him. The need to feel him close to her, inside of her was overwhelming. Seconds later he stripped off his clothes and fell into her waiting arms, kissing her, and touching her as she groaned with pleasure. Kelsha always controlled their lovemaking, telling Heren where to touch and how to move. But that night, needing and wanting to feel whole again, she surrendered to him. She gave no direction, no demands, just allowed him to love her his way. He was rather pleasing on his own, but her surrender intensified the feelings between both of them.
She lay there as he explored her body with his hands and mouth, as though he had never loved her before. He was slow and meticulous, causing her body to tremble and quake at every touch until she could take no more. She whispered, “Take me now, my love,” between breaths, and he crashed his mouth into hers. Her mouth met his eagerness. As his tongue explored her sweet mouth, he positioned himself on top of her, and he entered her slowly, methodically. Her nails ran down his back as he thrust harder, with more urgency. They reached their peak together and collapsed both of them breathless and their bodies entangled.
“I have missed you, my love,” Heren whispered while pulling her body close to his own. She nuzzled in close, feeling safe and content in his arms. Kelsha had never felt this sort of contentment with another man. She had always lain with men for the pleasure of power and control and had never allowed a man to control her in bed until that night. She knew it was Heren's unfaltering love of her that left her open to him.
He loved her for her, without judgment, with no ulterior motives. She didn't see his love for her until that night. She didn't realize her love for him until that night either. Kelsha hadn't loved a man since James and didn't think it was possible for her to love another. She hadn't wanted to, hadn't needed to, but she loved a man now. She needed a man now, and was happy with her man. “And I have missed you,” she whispered back before falling asleep in his arms.
That night Heren woke Kelsha many times, needing to love her again, her body matching his need over and over. Between the lovemaking, she slept soundly, peacefully, waking the next morning feeling restored. She knew a fight was coming and knew it would be hard won. Shep was lost to her. He would come for her, come against her. She knew it would be dangerous and didn't care. Kelsha had no fear. She had her man, her child, and her people and would fight for them. No one would take this from her. Not Shep and certainly not a Levannah. She rolled over to admire her husband. He was peaceful in sleep, his milky skin soft and glowing, his white hair falling around his shoulders and face, and she traced her hand along the muscles of his chest, gently trying to wake him. She needed to see his icy blue eyes, needed to see the love in them reflected in her own.
When he finally opened them to look at her, his lips curving up, she looked in his eyes and said the three words she had spoken hundreds of times before, but this time she meant them deep in her soul, “I love you, Heren.” His strong arms wrapped around her body, pulling her on top of him. Her dark hair fell down around him, and her mouth found his neck as she set out to show him how much she loved him.
“I love you too, Kelsha,” he told her as they joined again.
~Chapter Twenty-Four~
The man who called himself his father tended to Shep's every need over the next few days. Shep felt as though he had been bulldozed by a dragon, and his head continued to pound relentlessly. He was so weak. He stayed in bed, listening to the stories the man told him.
The stories began simple. He was told of his childhood here on Earth and of his mother. He learned that he was rather adventurous and loved to hunt. The man was careful not to get too detailed or push too hard. The mention of Shep's mother would cause his head to pound harder, and the mention of Lilly literally seemed to split him in two. Watching his son endure such pain was difficult for Mike Wagner. His boy was a strong boy, not the broken man who lay in the bed day after day.
“Can you tell me about my recent past?” Shep asked carefully. He knew it would cause a great deal of physical pain, but he knew he would never get past the pain without facing it. His father began talking of the more recent years. The moment his parents knew he loved Lilly, h
ow heartbroken he was when she left, and how he followed her to Newberg with his mother in tow. The more information he gave the more pain Shep felt until he could no longer focus on his father's words and asked if they could continue in the morning.
“Of course, son, get some rest,” his father said before leaving him alone.
Shep lay in the dark room, trying to process all the information he had been given. He ran his fingers along the edge of the notes left by Lilly for him. He had kept the neat stack close to him since his arrival. He read them repeatedly, feeling more connected every time he read one. He fell asleep with his hand gripping the stack of papers, and dreamed the dream that would break the dam for good.
She was there, her eyes on fire, her cheeks glowing crimson. He could see the anger taking residence in her heart as she looked accusingly at him. “How could you do this to me? Get past that dam, Shep, and get here, help fix what you broke! Don't be a coward! You deserve the pain. You did this! You did this!” She repeated the words over and over.
He woke the next morning, agitated, but thinking clearly. He stood on shaky legs and dressed himself. He found his way down the stairs and into the kitchen where his father was sitting. He was reading the newspaper and sipping his coffee which Shep found familiar. The man rose to help Shep, but he politely refused. He was determined at least to take a seat on his own.
He sat across from his father and softly asked him to repeat the story he had told him the night before. His father obliged, but this time he produced some visual stimulation. When he spoke of Leah, he showed him a photo of his mother. The shock was visible on Shep's face as he realized she was the woman who came to him while he was with Kelsha. The more his father spoke, the more his mind ached.
Suddenly, Shep felt as though his skull had split in two, and then he was trapped in his mind. The outside world went black as memories of himself before Kelsha came flooding back. He saw his first Christmas, his first bike, his first Elk. He saw Lilly and him as children, teenagers, and young adults. He saw their first kiss and their first time making love. He saw her leaving him and then him leaving her. He watched as he killed his own father and turned his back on a broken Lilly, following Kelsha. He saw as Heren came to him and pushed his memories away, building a wall to keep them at bay. He watched in pain, as that wall began tumbling down.
As the memories came flooding back, Shep's body began to heat up. He felt electric shocks bolting through his veins. He felt his entire body convulse in pain and pleasure as his mind began to heal itself. He saw the wall crumble. When the last piece fell, the pain dissipated, and his mind cleared. He heard someone shouting at him. “Shep! Come on, son, break through! Come back to us, Shep! You're a fighter, son, come on, come back!”
Shep opened his eyes and saw his father looking down on him, tears staining his cheeks, cradling Shep's head in his arms. He blinked a few times, trying to clear away the blur.
“Dad? How did you get here?” he asked and his father laughed and cried.
“Shep, is that you? Have you come back to me, son?”
“Yeah, Dad, it's me.”
“Thank God,” he said simply and kissed his grown son over and over.
~Chapter Twenty-Five~
Finding the compound vacant was disheartening. I had high hopes of finding my son and taking him home. I should've learned from my past experience that nothing was that simple. Not for me. Not in Neveah. I felt a sense of mourning after finding the letter from Shep's current wife. I pushed the hurt away. I had to find my child. Nothing else mattered. Leah seemed oddly at ease as we flew away from the compound.
“Leah?”
“Yeah, Lilly.”
“You seem so calm, how are you holding it together? Not finding James was a huge blow, yet you seem so optimistically calm.” Leah turned to smile at me.
“Well, that note Fionna left us, though I know was hurtful to you, gave us invaluable information. We know where Kelsha is, we know she has James, and we know Shep left Kelsha. He is no longer under her control. This will not be an easy fight, Lilly, but we will win if we approach this intelligently. We can't just run in there, guns blazing. We have to learn about the island, about Kelsha's plans, and we need to know how many followers she has.”
“How are we going to do that? We don’t have spies like we did with Jax. She is a genius at keeping her intentions hidden.” I pointed out. I knew she had some information from the Fey Alana, but even that was limited. We knew Kelsha had a large army, and they were well trained by Shep. We knew she had moved them to Ellurrah Island. Since moving to the island, Alana had not been able to communicate with Bronwen, leaving us completely in the dark.
“Well,” Leah began, clearing her throat. “We have to find Shep,” she said quickly. I didn’t know how to respond. I wasn't surprised Leah would want to find Shep, her son, and it was logical. Shep had been with Kelsha for nearly a year. He would have all the information we needed, but how would we know it was really Shep and not a trick? How could we trust anyone who had been so close to the enemy? How could I trust Shep again? I wasn't even sure I trusted the woman who left the letter. I found it hard to believe that the woman who had posed as his wife suddenly had a change of heart. She would just give him up in surrender to me. It sounded entirely romantic, her being the bigger person, letting him chase after his one true love, while she quietly stepped aside. It also sounded incredibly hard to believe.
The woman had been a key player in Shep's life. She agreed to be his wife, to fool him into believing in a false life created by Kelsha. She shared his bed, controlled his mind and his heart. Though I hated the woman for being with my Shep, I couldn't blame her. I thought I would have done the same. Shep was everything a woman could ask for. Of course she jumped at the chance to be with him. She would have been stupid not to. My understanding of her didn't change my feelings for her, nor did it make me trust her.
“How do we know this Fionna woman was telling the truth?” I asked Leah.
“We don't, but we also don't have a choice. Shep is the only one who knows what Kelsha has been up to, what she wants. He is the only one who can help us,” she replied.
“We could be walking into a trap.”
“I know, Lilly, but we have to try. I have faith in my son. I believe in my heart that he will remember us. He will remember you. You have to believe it too, Lilly.” I knew she was right, and I was being selfish in my reasoning. All Leah said made sense, but how could I face him, trust him, after all I had learned? How could I begin to forgive him after he stole our child from me? After he made love to another woman? Shep had held my heart the first eighteen years of my life, but he broke it. I had spent the last year praying he was safe, that he would come back to me, thinking I would forgive him on sight. I wasn't so sure now.
The pain in my heart had been replaced with fury. He seduced me in my sleep just before he took my child. He took advantage of me. Memory or not, Shep would have known me, known my touch. The idea that the sight of me, the feel of me, wasn't enough to pull him back from the darkness ripped me to pieces. I had hurt for him for so long, I couldn't hurt anymore. I didn't want to hurt anymore, and I didn't want to forgive him, but I could tolerate him if I needed to. If it meant getting my child back, I would do anything.
I had been lost in my thoughts and hadn't paid attention to the direction of our destination. I was a bit surprised to find we had landed on the Earvin Island. “Why are we here?” I asked as Leah jumped off the dragon with Denali close behind.
“We came to see Calista,” Denali responded.
I was happy to be seeing the Fey again, if not a bit confused.
“Why?” I asked again, feeling naïve and in the dark. I would need to pay more attention.
“We are hoping she is still connected to Shep,” Denali said.
“She watched you for us, and we know she was able to see Shep after the two of you married, and we hope she can still see him, maybe tell us where he is.” Denali headed in the direct
ion of the Great Falls.
“We will not be here long, though, we have other places to visit. We have to gather as much information as possible,” he stated and dove into the water. Leah was close behind him, and I followed.
When we entered the cave of the Asrai, I was just as astonished as the first time. We were greeted by the two little fairies, Chloe and Maddie. They were unbelievably beautiful and chirpy.
“Welcome back,” they quipped.
“Thank you,” Leah replied with a smile. Once again, I found myself irritated with everyone’s cheerfulness. I was falling apart inside with an urgent need to find my son and didn't want to take time for pleasantries. I swallowed my annoyance, and reminded myself that this was the way of these little fairies. They didn't take rudeness well. They were very sensitive little creatures, and sadness was known to kill them. They took great pride in welcoming visitors and were optimistic to a fault. I turned my mouth into a smile as the little brown haired fairy fluttered directly in front of me.
“Hello, Lilly, we are pleased to have you here again, but sad that only tragedy brings you to us,” the one named Chloe said, her eyes misting over. The last thing I needed was for a sad Asrai to work herself up, making herself ill on my behalf.
“Yes, I will have to visit more regularly, during happier times. But please, don't fret over this situation. We are confident that things will be resolved and all will be well,” I said with a smile, hoping she believed me. Her face twisted back into a smile, and I was sure I had played that one well.
“Calista is waiting for you,” the fairy Maddie announced. The little fairy pushed me from behind, urging me to the cave that housed Calista. “We will wait here, Lilly,” Leah called after me. I was unsure of leaving them behind, as that had not worked out too well for me last time. I didn't seem to have a choice.
Neveah Box Series (Neveah Box Set Book 5) Page 38