“You’re not any more of a monster than I am. I killed Jax, at least I thought I did. I didn’t feel remorse for that. I felt a strange energy course through me. It scared me at first too but I didn’t have time to think about it before I left you and followed Kelsha. I can tell you now though. I have no regrets about killing him. He is evil and dangerous and I will do it again, only this time I will do it right. He will not come back to haunt anyone. I don’t feel as though I am a monster though. I am surviving and protecting my family. That is what you did, Lilly. You survived for us and you had to kill to do that. We will get past this. I will not push you for you are healing but you are my wife, my best friend. There is no one in this or any other world that I trust or rely on as much as I do you. I can live without making love to you, for now, but I can’t live with not being able to touch you, to hold you, to heal you. Please, Lilly, let me help you heal.”
I felt his words deep in my heart. I felt what he was trying to say. I could slowly feel the pieces of my heart mend. My wounds would not heal overnight, but I found comfort knowing that I would heal. With Shep and James, I would heal. I could be whole again. I felt my body relax. I snuggled into Shep and wrapped my arm around him. I was comfortable there, in his arms. He was all I needed to get through this. I just needed him to say it. I needed to know that he could forgive me in ways that I had found it hard to forgive him.
“I love you. Thank you. You and I have to make it out of this alive. I want nothing more than to get the hell out of this place and go home, where we belong, where we are us again and happy.”
“I love you too, Lilly. We will do all of that. Now get some sleep. We have a busy day tomorrow.” He kissed the top of my head before I fell asleep in his arms.
I awoke to James’ baby cries. I sat up in bed and lifted him out of his cradle. “Well hello, pumpkin,” I said to my boy. He grew so much since being in Neveah. His dusting of red hair grew into a curly mass on top of his perfectly round head. When he smiled, he now boasted two little teeth poking through his gums. All felt right when he smiled up at me. “Shall we get dressed and find Daddy?” I asked, and he giggled.
“I’m here,” Shep said from behind a dressing curtain in the corner of the room. “I told you that I am not leaving you alone for even a second.” He came out from behind the curtain fully dressed and appeared ready for the day.
“Well, I am happy to hear that. There is no one I would rather have stalking me,” I replied and smiled at him. “Can you take James so I can get cleaned up a little more and dressed?’
“Of course, come here, little buddy,” Shep said, holding out his arms. Without hesitation, James went to his daddy. “Go on, Mommy. Hurry up. We have a big day ahead of us.”
“Doing what?” I stood in front of the wash bin and began to wipe the day before off of me. Yesterday I may have felt awkward standing in the nude, washing, with Shep watching. Not now. Our late night talk did a lot for me. I woke feeling almost okay. Not all the way but almost.
“There is a lot to fill you in on but in short, we have Kelsha’s fortress and all her followers held captive. One of the Special’s cast a spell that keeps them locked inside. Most of the Neveahian’s that stand for the good in Neveah are there, ready and waiting.”
“Oh, I see. Well, looks like this is finally going to be over,” I said as I finished washing and went behind the curtain to dress.
“Yes, it is almost over.”
“Well, let’s get going,” I said and Shep smiled at me. He could see the old me peeking through. The wounded me fading. He was pleased, as was I.
~Chapter Thirty Two~
Kelsha said nothing to her followers. She offered no explanation. Jax didn’t attempt to walk as Heren. It was pointless to hide the truth now. All of Kelsha’s followers were now aware that Jax and Heren were one. He didn’t care that they knew. He actually felt a huge relief. He wouldn’t have to stay hidden inside of Heren anymore. He looked over at Kelsha, whose face had faded from her usual bronze color to a sickly shade of white.
“Kelsha darling, you cannot fade away now. These people are looking to you for answers, for guidance. Do not desert them now!” He spoke forcefully but in hushed tones and tried to grab her hand. She pulled back and shot him a dangerous look.
“Do not tell me what I need to do!” She retorted, not caring who heard her. Her face was frightening, stark white and dangerous. Her dark eyes somehow grew darker and Jax could see the wicked demon growing inside of her. He relished in her insanity. Watching her transform from, threateningly dangerous to formidably wicked, was bewitching. He doubted any one of her followers would leave her. How could anyone not see the vicious beauty that was Kelsha? Had they not had an audience of frightened followers, he would have taken her right there on the stairs. He restrained himself, instead choosing to stoke her wicked fire.
“Don’t push me away, Kelsha! You know that is a bad idea. Look around you. They are waiting for you to give them direction.”
“They do not trust me, you imbecile! My secrets, you, have been exposed. Dammit, I knew you would be my undoing!” Her words were biting, but his tongue was sharper.
“Oh, now, honey, don’t stand there and feel sorry for yourself, that’s not the kind of woman you are. You are strong, evil, and driven. This is not over. Now you stop behaving as though you have been defeated, you have not! You grow a backbone and address your people, Kelsha! Oh, and don’t you dare blame me you evil bitch. I will cut your throat where you stand, I have nothing to lose.”
She looked straight in his eyes, and he saw them begin to dance. She loved being abused almost as much as she loved to abuse. No, Kelsha was not one to be handled with kid gloves. He gradually saw the white give way to the bronze and though the darkness in her eyes didn’t dissipate, the fear that he had seen was gone. Her lips turned up slightly, her way of saying thanks.
“You always know what to say. You are such a smooth talker, my love,” she said quietly before kissing him gently.
“Tough love, baby,” he replied with a smile. He kissed her back before telling her it was time to face her people. They would not remain complacent for long. They would demand answers and if she didn’t give them the answers before they demanded them, they could possibly have a rebellion on their hands.
“Charm them, Kelsha, just as you always have.”
She nodded in response and turned to her people. Most were standing there watching her. Jax was right. They needed her to soothe their fears. They lacked trust in her now that they knew about Jax, but she would win their trust back, she always did.
“My dear Neveahian’s, I know some of you are shocked and angry to know that I have hidden Jax from you. In all honesty I didn’t know what to do with him at first. After spending time with him, I realized he is a great asset to us, a wonderful addition to our army. You should not fear him. He stands with us. I understand things seem dire right now, but they will be back. They will return to finish this and when they do, when that wall comes down, we will be ready. Our mission has not changed. We will crush the Levannah’s before they crush us.” She finished to only half applause. Many were whispering amongst themselves. She understood their confusion. She would give them time. She was not unreasonable after all. She would not give them much time, they didn’t have that luxury.
“Come on, Jax. We have a war to fight but I have an urge to feed before that,” she said before seductively running her tongue across her lips and turning into her fortress. Jax followed, obediently.
The inside of the fortress was deserted. Kelsha was climbing the stairs to her sleeping chamber when Jax grabbed her and crushed her mouth with his own. His hands reached beneath her dress and found their way to the spot that they so loved to play with. She pulled away slightly, breathless. “What are you doing? We can’t do it here!” She said only half convincingly.
“No one is here and even if they were I wouldn’t care. I want you right here, right now for all of Neveah to see if they so choose. N
ow are you going to let me have you or do I have to beg?”
“I like begging.”
“I like your resisting but I can’t handle it this time. I almost ripped your dress off out there in front of all your people. I nearly burst when I saw that evil look in your eye, that determination, that pleasure you take when I insult you.” She stopped him by covering his mouth with her own and whipping her tongue through his mouth. As their tongues danced, his hands explored her as she worked to loosen his belt and drop his pants just enough to fit her hand inside. Their mouths never broke their hold. He moaned against her mouth as her most sensitive spot became more and more slippery the longer he fondled. She felt a surge of pride when she reached into his pants and felt his manhood, hard and ready. She teased and manipulated him until he had to pull her hand away.
“You’re undoing me, woman,” he growled.
“I know, I like it,” she replied. She pulled her dress up around her waist with one hand and pulled the front apart with the other, allowing her bronze mounds to break free.
She liked the look on his face when he looked at her bare flesh. “You want to taste these?” She teased, rubbing her hand across her nipple.
“I want nothing more than to have the taste of your flesh on my tongue.” His mouth covered her breast. He was not gentle with her. He sucked and bit one with his tongue as he slapped her other over and over with quick, stinging, strikes. With every abuse her body awakened, begging for more. As he assaulted her breast his fingers dove inside of her, feeling around her warm flesh. His fingers rubbed the walls of her sex until they found that sweet spot, threatening to push her over the edge.
“Not yet, you dirty whore. Not yet.”
She pushed his pants further down as he lowered her to the stairs. She spread her legs wide, welcoming him. He teased her at first while she sucked the skin on his neck until he was bleeding and bruised. “You want to feel me, Kelsha, all of me, deep inside?”
“You are a sadist, my love, torturing me with your shaft! Push it inside, slow, deep,” she begged and he obliged. He filled her sex with his own flesh. He moved in slow rhythmic circles over and over until she begged for more. He felt her body tremble beneath him. Her moans turned to cries for release.
“Do it now, Jax. Hard. Fast. Hurt me!” She screamed as she ran her nails down his back and he pounded her until both their bodies exploded and collapsed.
They lay there on the stairs, exposed for anyone to see, but uncaring. “It is almost time, Jax. Do not leave my side. We have to win! I will kill my sister and Lilly, you kill Shep and Denali. My followers can handle the rest, but those four belong to us.” She looked at him for assurance and he smiled. “I love when you talk like a murdering whore after I have had my way with you.”
“I can only speak what I am, but have no doubt, Jax, I am only your whore.” He kissed her long and hard before they dressed and readied themselves for war.
~Chapter Thirty Three~
Shep and I found what was left of those who had come here to fight for Neveah. There was very few and they were sitting together in the main room of the compound. Leah appeared to be in the midst of a very important conversation with Denali and Fionna, with Shep’s dad Michael at her side. Vivianna was seated beside my grandmother.
“Where is everyone?” I whispered to Shep before they noticed we were there.
“Ellurrah, waiting for us,” he replied. “Come on.” He took my free hand and led me into the sitting room. My grandmother saw me first. She stood and came to me, relief evident on her face.
“Oh, my dear Lilly, are you alright?” The love she carried for me was evident and refreshing. When she encompassed me in her arms I felt warmth slowly seeping into my heart. She penetrated the broken pieces in my heart with her love and the love of my mother. I knew my mother was gone but I felt her in my grandmother’s embrace. The pieces Shep couldn’t fix had disappeared in her love. A love for your child or grandchild is a bond so deep and unbreakable. That kind of love can fix even the deepest wounds. I understood the emotion as I felt the same way for my own son.
“I’m okay, Meme. Shep saved me.” I smiled up at him, and he draped his arm across my shoulder.
“You saved yourself, Lill, I just happened to show up in time to bring you home.” I had no reply. He was right about one thing, I killed Theron, therefore technically saving myself but it was Shep who brought me back from what could have been a dangerous depression. I didn’t care to go into details of what I had been through with my family, or anyone ever for that matter. So, I said nothing.
It was Leah’s turn to hug me. Again, I felt my mother’s presence in her touch. I was passed around, receiving hugs and words of, “I’m so happy you’re okay.” Then it was Denali, my big, strong uncle, and my mother’s brother. He and I had been through a lot together in our short relationship. To me, he was my hero. The look on his face was heartbreaking. The fear he had carried while I was away, the anger at having not protected me, the relief of my survival and arrival all mixed together.
“Hey, Uncle Denali,” I offered with a nervous laugh. He was a man of little words but his passion, commitment, and love for his family surrounded him. Shep took James from my arms, allowing my uncle to take me in a tight hug. I felt his body shudder. I pulled back to see his face and found it moist with tears. I hugged him again, tighter. “I’m okay, Denali. I promise,” I offered.
“I was so afraid for you. I wanted to go with Shep, but I knew he had to do this on his own. The thought of losing you, having already lost my sister and father, losing you would have been unbearable. Are you truly alright? I can see sadness in your eyes, Lilly.”
“I am not completely okay, but I am getting there. Feeling the love of the people in this room, my family, it does mean a lot and has a huge influence in healing me. I will be alright. I made it. I’m alive. I have a lot to be thankful for. I don’t want to dwell on what happened. It was a nightmare, literally, but I made it, that is what matters. I love you, Denali.”
“I love you too, Lilly. We will keep you safe from now on, I promise.”
“Yeah, I think between you and Shep I have two knights in shining armor, my own personal body guards. I’m a lucky girl.”
He laughed a little and let go. My aunt Viv came to stand beside Denali and rubbed her hand reassuringly across his back. We all found a place to sit before we talked about what was to be done.
“As we talked about before, Viv will stay here with James and the Fey. Together they will be safe. This time Fionna, Renny and Diallo will be going with us, as will my mother,” Denali said in a low voice. I was sure he was anticipating backlash over his last statement.
“What? You can’t be serious, Meme! This is going to be dangerous possibly deadly. You can’t go into a war zone!” I was appalled when Denali made his announcement. I didn’t want my grandmother anywhere near Kelsha or her people.
“Michael is coming as well,” Leah added. I was dumbstruck. How in the world had these two convinced everyone that they should go fight.
“He has no protection! Have you all lost your damn minds?” I was getting angry. I felt Shep’s hand on my thigh, squeezing gently in an attempt to calm me down. It wasn’t working.
“We have enough people to fight. Why are you doing this?” I felt tears stinging my eyes and was pissed at myself for crying at a time that I should have been strong. I was serious. They would die out there.
“I didn’t like it either, Lilly but they have a point,” Denali said.
“Yeah, what’s that?”
“It’s not right to have my entire family out there fighting for my family and my land! It’s wrong. Besides, if things go wrong and I lose my entire family I don’t want to be stuck here, alone. I want to be there with my family standing beside them, and if need be dying beside them. I don’t expect you to understand but I am going and there is nothing that can be done about it.” When my mom spoke, she commanded the room and when she was serious her tone begged just one
person to argue with her. I thought about it and knew I would do exactly the same thing if I was her as would my mother and Denali.
“And what about you, Michael? Do you have a fantastic reason for going to a war that will most likely end in your death?” I asked accusingly.
“Same reasons, Lilly. I can’t send my family to fight without me. It sounds morbid and selfish but if they die, so will I. I would rather die fighting beside them than alone.”
Well, they had their reasons, I would give them that. They were damn good reason too. I still didn’t like it but knew there was nothing I could do to stop them.
“How do you plan to protect yourself?” I asked Michael.
“Have you forgotten I am a damn good hunter? I have a killer shot with a bow and arrow. I will be okay honey, don’t worry about me.”
He was right. He is a good hunter. I just hoped he would be good at hunting wild beasts and humans with special abilities. When Fionna said she would be coming as well, I gave up. I understood their reasons and fighting them was pointless. “When do we leave? The sooner the better,” I said and was surprised by the answer.
“When Shep was gone we used that time to pack anything we might need. The animals are ready. We can go now. We should go now,” Leah said. I wasn’t expecting to leave at that very moment. My stomach knotted up with nerves, but there was no better time than the present.
“Okay, let’s go.” I kissed James at least one hundred times and hugged him as tight as I could before handing him to Shep, who repeated the process and handed him back to Vivianna. I wiped the tears from my face and left the room, everyone following close behind me. Minutes later we were in the air. I hoped we were headed toward the rest of our lives not the end of them.
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