This is a work of fiction. Any names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons--living or dead--is entirely coincidental
Never Let Go copyright @ 2014 by Miranda Banks. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embedded in critical articles or reviews.
CHAPTER ONE
“Where the hell is he?” Aaron was pacing around the parking lot, getting angrier by the second. “I'm fucking tired of his bullshit.” With that, he took a drag from the cigarette in his left hand.
Aaron was beyond pissed the fuck off. Johnny had told them he was ready to return. Again. He had agreed to a job right off the bat and was supposed to meet them in the parking lot. This time he didn't even bother to show the fuck up. Shaking his head, Aaron looked over at his brothers and noticed he wasn't the only one upset.
“Maybe there was an emergency,” Chris offered with an innocent smile.
Aaron stopped and looked at his brother. For such a tough guy, Chris certainly was a softie where it mattered. Aaron knew he wasn't cut from the same cloth as the rest of the club, and he wondered how the fuck he'd ended up here.
Was it a story like his own? Abandoned by family and searching for acceptance? In a weird way, they all kind of shared the same damn story—only with slight variations. His was typical. His parents were into all sorts of slimy shit, and one day they just didn't come home. He and a buddy had decided to take off and see what kind of shit they could find to do.
Unfortunately, the buddy hadn't been nearly as impressed with the Devil's Chariot Club as Aaron had. He'd met them and tried to bond with them, but eventually he'd taken off to find some greener pastures. Aaron had been a brother ever since. It was hard for him to believe that it'd been twelve years at this point. He was just a teenager when he'd found them.
The guys had taken him in and given him a place to belong. They had cared for him far more than his own fucking family, and that was why he'd given them the loyalty that he had. That was the reason he was so fucking pissed off, as he walked around the bikes in the parking lot and waited for a guy that seemed content to betray his oath every single day lately.
“What kind of emergency? Bethany need a fucking light bulb changed?” Aaron scoffed at his friend. “It's always about her.”
Several of the guys nodded. They all knew. Chris just looked away for a minute before he responded. “Is it really so bad?” he started and caught the attention of the guys. “I mean, what if they love each other? Is that a crime?”
Aaron was going to speak but didn't get a chance. Phil, the one who seemed to have taken on a leadership role in the club, was the first to open his mouth.
“In this club, yes!” he snapped. “Dan was a brother. The bond between brothers overrides any bitch.”
Aaron wouldn't have used the term bitch to describe an old lady, but Phil was right. It was unforgivable.
“But Dan is gone,” Chris said, continuing to play Devil's advocate against better judgment. “So why is it such a big deal now?”
Aaron knew Chris was fairly innocent. He'd only been in the club a few months and didn’t fully understand the way things worked for the brothers. Had he been the one responding, he would have bypassed the anger he felt at Johnny and handled it calmly, but Stan wasn't quite that nice, as he said, “Why the fuck are you here, brother?” He was in Chris’s face within seconds. “If you think loyalty is debatable, then get the fuck out ‘cause we sure as hell don't need you.”
Chris looked shocked that one of them would talk to him that way. Aaron started to think that maybe, just maybe, he was going to cry. If he did, it would be his last day with them. That was for sure. No way was some pussy-cry-baby little girl gonna ride with them and handle the jobs they had to do.
“You don't need me?” Somewhere from deep inside the new kid came a resolve and stern voice that Aaron wasn't sure he'd ever heard. “Why? Because I have fucking common sense?” Aaron watched the guys tense up, as Chris shouted back at Stan, “He's dead. I get the loyalty thing; but, can you really control what the fuck his old lady does once he's gone?”
Everyone looked down slightly because no one really had an answer to a question like that. Aaron decided it was a good time for him to join in. “We aren't trying to control the old lady,” he said more calmly than the others had. “We are trying to control the brother because if it's okay when one passes, what's to say it wouldn't be when they are still with us.”
“It isn't completely ruled out,” Phil admitted. “But we don't easily accept it either. That way we don't have to try and sort out if the brother was already involved in this before the passing. Know what I mean?” He looked at Chris, who nodded.
“Makes sense,” Chris said, realizing that there was a purpose for everything.
“Now where the fuck is Johnny?” Aaron said, returning to his standard pacing.
***
“You need to leave!” Red had walked into the room. Even though Johnny knew her name, he preferred his own name for her.
“I'm not going anywhere,” he answered the bitch without even taking his eyes off of Beth. “And you can't make me.”
He heard her shallow laugh and realized how stupid his comment had been. What were they? Twelve? He expected them to start chanting insults in the next few minutes.
“The hospital seems to think you are engaged to the patient,” she snapped in his direction. “Wonder how they'd manage to think that?”
“Mistakes happen in paperwork all the fucking time,” Johnny answered as if it were his only conclusion.
“They can easily un-happen too,” she snapped again.
“Fine,” he stood up and released Beth's hand. She really hadn't been awake in hours. “I'll leave for a few.” As he reached the door, Johnny stopped, keeping his back to the bitch and said softly,” Please don't tell them. I need to be able to be here.” With that, he walked out and shut the door behind him, as a stunned Stephanie failed to respond.
***
“The hospital?” Aaron was standing away from the guys to hold his phone conversation. Their chatter had gotten a bit too loud and boisterous for him to be able to hear. They were all still standing in the parking lot and trying not to give up on Johnny when he'd finally called. Before answering, Aaron had known it would be something about Beth. He just wasn't certain what.
“She's really weak and tired. They want to keep her a few days,” Johnny said without much emotion. He didn't want the club to gather that he was worried and confused.
“What happened to make her go in?” Aaron was curious. Why was Johnny with Beth? What were they doing?
“I'd stopped by to check on her and say my goodbyes. We were doing just that when she fell to the ground. Had to call the ambulance.” Johnny knew his brother was fishing; but, he wasn't going to give him a catch this go round.
“I see.” Aaron didn't understand why Johnny hadn't come to them once he'd known Beth was okay. “So, then, you are good to go now?”
“Not really,” Johnny hesitated. “I can't just leave with her like this. Wouldn't Dan want us to be here?” He made sure to say us, as if he were inviting the guys to stay as well.
“He'd also want us to handle our jobs,” Aaron confessed, growing weary of Johnny’s excuses to stay in town.
“She's pregnant,” Johnny said—without showing the feelings stirring inside him. “She's pregnant with Dan's baby, and sh
e's sick and in the hospital.” Taking a breath, he continued, “I'd say that Dan likely would want us to stick around ‘til she's out.”
Aaron had no argument for that. A baby. Another life. A piece of their brother. Protected by the club. Of course, they'd stay.
“Absolutely,” he answered. “We'll be there in a few.” With that, he hung up the phone and turned to tell his brothers of their newest plans.
***
“Why are they here?” Stephanie didn’t explain her question further and didn't need to.
Johnny knew what she meant when she asked it. They were here. The club. His brothers were probably filling the waiting area, intimidating her and whoever else sat there. People always assumed the worst of those of motorcycle clubs. If he were honest though, Johnny had to admit that some of it was true.
“They’re here for Beth,” he answered—without even a second thought. “They want to protect her,” he finished.
“The same way they protected her husband?” she questioned and rolled her eyes.
“More like the way he protected me,” Johnny answered and walked out of the room.
He knew better. Even knocked out like she was, Beth could hear them. He didn't want those kind of things being said. He also knew he needed to go and greet the guys from the club. They would expect that. They would also expect that he wouldn't be sitting in the room with Beth—not as much as he had been. It'd be considered inappropriate by his brothers—a betrayal to one of their own.
***
Stephanie watched him walk out of the room and felt a twinge of guilt. She knew she was being cruel, but it was with good intentions. Beth needed her to be the bitchy one since she didn't have it in her. She probably never would. She was just too nice—and too hung up on him.
That was the big problem really. She was falling too hard for him. Stephanie had to admit that he'd shown a real caring side recently. The look on his face when he was sitting there beside her bed was unmistakable. He felt something pretty damned serious.
But that didn't matter. He was one of them. He was another guy that'd either break her heart, or die and break her soul. So, Stephanie's main goal in life was nothing more than to make him leave. If he left now, they'd have happy memories of something that didn't work. If he waited, Beth would be destroyed, and there was no way in hell she'd ever let that happen.
Stephanie looked at the bed and her friend resting on it perfectly still. If she didn't know better, she would think Beth wasn't going to make it. Her face and skin was pale, and there were dark circles around her eyes. Nothing moved.
She wasn't unconscious but medically knocked out while her body recovered. Steph wasn't certain that it was a good idea. With the baby and all, it made her worry. As she slumped over in the chair, tears fell from her eyes.
How did her poor best friend end up like this? Lying in a hospital bed, weak and pregnant, with a husband who wasn't around anymore to comfort her. It made Stephanie angry. Beth didn't deserve any of this; yet, here she was.
“I promise,” she said, taking Beth's cold and clammy hand into her own, “I promise that I will help you—even if you don't see it as helpful in the moment.”
***
“How's Dan's old lady?” Frankie was the first to notice Johnny walking out of the back.
“Hanging in there,” Johnny answered with a nod and a half-hearted smile for his brothers. “They want her to sleep a lot. So that's pretty much what she does.” He found a seat with the club and took it.
“You should have called sooner,” Aaron said quickly. He wanted to make sure that it was understood that leaving them waiting was unacceptable.
“Sorry,” Johnny answered with a serious look on his face. “Everything happened so fast and was so crazy.” Then, he gave them his reason. “I was the only one here.” He saw Aaron nod, and he turned to the rest of the club. “What now?”
Johnny knew that they'd been talking, and a plan was already decided. They wouldn't have come to the hospital until they'd all worked out what was going to happen from here.
“Well—” Chris was about to speak when he was interrupted by Phil.
“We're going to stay in town until she is safely at home,” Phil said clearly, grabbing the attention of all of the guys from the club.
“From there,” Stan began with a smirk on his face, “we will alternate.”
“Alternate?” Johnny wasn't sure he understood what they were saying.
“You've been tending to Dan's old lady for a while,” Frankie interjected. “You need a break.” He shared the same smirk as the others at this point.
Johnny was trying to make sense of what they were all saying. It sounded to him like they were giving him no choice but to step away from Beth. In a way, it was probably for the best. She was pregnant and the last thing she needed was the best friend of the father hanging around to remind her of her own pain.
At the same time, he couldn't imagine not being by her side. He didn't want to be somewhere else when she would so obviously need someone to be there. Johnny knew the guys would take care of her, but it wasn't the same as loving her—not the way he did.
Realizing he'd admitted to himself that he loved her, he nodded at the guys. “Good idea. That way I can get back to taking care of jobs.”
“That was our thought,” Aaron said quickly. “We will just leave you off of the rotation for a while. You've done plenty,” he finished.
Johnny felt his heart drop, as he looked up at his brothers. He wanted to argue. Inside, he felt like he was going to cry. They were going to completely remove him from Beth's life for a while—most likely long enough for both of them to move on.
His breath caught in his throat, as he nodded. “It'll be nice to get away from here,” he lied.
***
Aaron watched Johnny as he talked to them. He was speaking as though he were in full agreement with the club about how to handle things. However, Aaron knew better. He watched the color lighten in Johnny's face, and his hands were almost shaking as he stood there. No matter what words were coming out of Johnny's mouth, he was extremely upset about the decision of the club. This could be a serious problem. Because in the end, his emotion would control his actions, and it was going to cause trouble between the brothers as they battled over how to handle a scenario they weren't prepared for.
CHAPTER TWO
Johnny sat on his bed in complete silence. He knew that he should be doing something, anything, but he couldn't seem to make himself move. His thoughts were overwhelming him. Actually, if he were honest with himself it wasn't the thoughts he had to worry about—but the feelings.
He knew he could go down to the clubhouse and grab a club girl. They could have some fun for a while and maybe it would distract him from the problems he was facing. Johnny’s problem was that he had no interest in them. He wanted to be at the hospital. He wanted to sit with Beth and make sure that she was okay.
The doctors were talking about releasing her soon—maybe within the next day or so—which was part of the problem in his mind. The club had taken up shifts at the hospital and in doing so had given him some “much needed rest” according to his brothers. Johnny knew better. They were making sure that he was nowhere near the woman he so desperately wanted to be near.
Once she was released, he would be expected to leave. Take a job. Head out. He could come back here and there between jobs. Check in. Make sure all was okay. But Johnny wasn't an idiot. He knew there would be very few times that he would have a moment to stop in. The club would make sure of that. He wouldn't have the chance to bond with the baby or bond any further with Beth.
In his mind, he knew that it was for the best. What the fuck was he supposed to do anyway? Get a real job? Marry his best friend's widow? Raise his kid? Pay for a mortgage and a car and diapers? He had to get real. There was nothing about any of those things that had ever appealed to him. He was a rambling man. He was a loner, needing to be out on the road with tough jobs and dangerous women.
However, his heart wouldn't listen. Everything inside of him wanted to be there with her. He wanted to help with the baby and hold Beth's hand through everything she would face.
“FUCK!” he screamed at the walls around him.
Johnny didn't know what to do other than sit and wait until it was time to leave. However, the tear he felt slide down his cheek told him that this was one thing that wasn't going to be as simple as it should be.
***
“I don't give a fuck,” Stan announced in response to what his brother had just shared.
The club had gathered for a meeting. A private one. They had something serious to discuss and that meant secrecy. It had been a mandatory meeting for everyone, and all who had been told had shown up. Chris wasn't in attendance because it was his shift at the hospital, which was far from coincidental. Johnny also wasn't there because he had not been told about the meeting.
Never Let Go (Devil's Chariots Motorcycle Club Book 2) Page 1