She decided to drown her sorrows and desires in a bowl of ice cream. Hell, why not? Nothing else would satisfy her ache.
***
What the fuck was he supposed to do? He knew she was probably hurt, thinking that he never cared and wanting to see him or hear from him. He wanted to call her and go see her. He wanted to do something, but, he couldn't. He just couldn't.
The club had decided that he was crossing boundaries, and he wasn't allowed to be with her. The problem was that because of his feelings and the fact he'd admitted them, he couldn't even be her friend now.
“Goddammit!” he said to no one in particular.
He hadn't seen her since the day they'd shown up at the hospital. He wasn't allowed to talk to her and had to stay gone. Doing jobs. Risking his life. Never quite knowing if Beth and the baby were okay.
He'd chosen them—not because it was something he wanted to do; but, he didn’t have a choice. This was life. It was family. It was all he knew.
Unless you let Beth and the baby be your family...
The voice in his head popped up randomly. Telling him how he could be there with her and walk away from this. Of course, he'd have to deal with the consequences of it. He'd have to face them and take what they dished out. And he'd lose all he'd ever known in life.
At that moment though, it seemed worth it. He missed her with a vengeance. He was halfway across the country and all he could think about was the way her mouth looked when she smiled, the way her eyes brightened as she laughed, the way her head felt as it lay against his shoulder, and the way her body felt wiggling beneath him.
The clubhouse in this town was small. He walked inside and looked around. Across the room was a cute little thing with bright blonde hair. She'd have to do, he told himself.
“Let's go.” He walked up to the blonde and held a hand out for her.
Johnny didn't know her name, and he didn't give a shit about ever finding out. He needed some relief, and she was going to have to do.
***
“Anything else?” The cashier was short and polite, but it was obvious she didn't want to be there at that moment.
“I think that's it,” Stephanie sighed and pushed her red hair away from her forehead.
She was tired. Actually tired would be about ten steps up from where she was. If nothing else, this ordeal was reminding her of why she was nowhere near ready to have a baby. Fuck, if pregnancy was this rough how the hell would anyone handle the actual kid?
Steph had been tending to Beth since she got out of the hospital. Even after she'd went back home to stay, Beth had been very needy. As her best friend, Stephanie had taken on a surrogate parent role, which was why she was standing in a diner at three in the morning getting a grilled cheese and onion rings. It was the only thing her friend wanted to eat, and she was absolutely going to starve to death any moment.
They'd been trying to get the nursery ready and keep Beth from going absolutely insane, but it wasn't working very well. Stephanie couldn't solve all of her problems. At this point, she really was angry at that fucking biker man. He'd just bailed. No one had said anything except he was back to doing jobs.
What the fuck were jobs? The things Dan had done? The same things that got him killed?
Her best friend sat there crying over him daily, and he hadn't even bothered to call her and let her know that he was alive and remembered she was. Turns out Stephanie hadn't done a damn thing to stop it. She didn't have to. He did it for her, which made her grateful and pissed off all at the same time.
She made her way back to the car and headed towards her friend's house. The entire way back she cursed at those bikers and the position they'd left her in.
***
“Shut up!” he was yelling, but he didn't care.
Why the hell did women have this need to chatter? Johnny didn't bring this bitch here to discuss a damn thing. He wanted a release. However, so far, he'd been unable to achieve that.
“I'm sorry, baby,” she smiled and slid her hand down the waistband of his pants. “Can I make it up to you?”
His cock was rock hard at the mere thought of what might come, or the thought of Beth, whichever he wanted to believe.
His hand came up behind her head and grabbed her hair tightly, winding it through his own fingers. He heard her gasp, as he yanked on the hair and pushed her head into his crotch.
“Don't talk,” he ordered, slamming her face into him. “Just suck it, baby,” he said, leaning back and waiting. Then, Johnny felt her lips wrap around him and a moan escaped his mouth. He'd learned to be able to receive some satisfaction from whoever he was able to be with at that moment. He couldn't wait indefinitely on a chance to see Beth again. However, he did know that so far no other woman could make him feel the things that she'd been able to make him feel.
The blonde bitch went to town on him, hoping to please him enough to make him want her—not just now, but in general. Sadly, it would never happen for her.
He did, however, enjoy the fuck out of what she was doing. For the first time since he'd left that town, he was interested in taking things just a bit further. Up to this point, it'd simply been getting some head every time he felt like he might explode.
Letting go of her hair, he pushed her back and stood up from the chair he was sitting in. A quick movement of his hand and he'd grabbed the hair again and pushed her face first onto the bed.
“You want this, honey?” he asked in a demanding tone.
“Yes. Please,” she moaned.
Johnny pushed himself against the tight little ass in front of him and slid his shaft deep inside her. Starting gently, he began to thrust deeper and harder each time he pumped. The girl beneath him began to scream and wriggle on the bed. The more she moaned, the harder he pushed himself into her.
It took about ten minutes for his body to cave and the orgasm to release. He hadn't had sex since he'd been with Beth, and it felt nice.
Johnny knew he should have worried about the girl. Did she enjoy it? Did she get off? He didn't know, and he really didn't seem to care much. She was no one. Just a tool. A means to an end. It may have made him an asshole, but he didn't care.
It was just his distraction from the real problem at hand, his desire to be with a woman he wasn't allowed to be with as dictated by the only family he'd ever had.
“Thanks, babe,” Johnny moved off of the girl. “Shut the door behind you on the way out okay?” With that, he walked towards the bathroom.
***
“What the fuck do you mean he's gone?” Aaron was livid.
He was at the diner grabbing lunch with Chris, a person he had a hard time tolerating when the conversation was pleasant. This was most definitely not one of those times.
“He picked up a chick last night. She said he kicked her out a couple hours later. No one has heard from him since.”
Chris hated being the one to tell Aaron. He didn't want to feel like he was ratting out a brother. He didn't think what was happening to Johnny was fair. In fact, he was pretty fucking annoyed by it. In Chris's mind, the two loved each other and should be left the fuck alone.
Chris was the only person who had been to see her. Bethany. Their fallen brother's wife. As if they fucking cared anymore. She was being ostracized as much as Johnny was. She was still the old lady of a brother, and she was carrying his child. She should still be cared for and taken care of; but, the club had all but alienated her.
Fortunately, he had been on a mission to make sure she didn't know that. He'd been to her house several times a week to check on things. She never invited him inside, and he guessed that was more about Johnny leaving than anything.
Chris wanted so badly to tell her. He wanted her to know Johnny didn't have a choice. However, it was kind of a lie. He did have a choice. He'd just not chosen her.
“Is he headed to her?” Aaron asked the same question Chris had asked the guy who called him.
“Dunno,” he answered. “I would presume so.”
***
Bethany couldn't help but feel thankful that Steph had gone home. She loved her friend, but it was like having a hovering parent lately. She'd sent the girl on a million errands, hoping it'd entice her to stay away a little bit, but it didn't seem to be working.
She needed the space. She needed to feel comfortable and relaxed, and that wasn't going to happen with someone questioning her state of mind every fucking second. Maybe she wanted to walk around naked and sit on her couch watching porn? Why couldn't she if that was her choice?
Not that she'd ever done that in her life; but, the point was the same. She needed to be alone some. Fuck, even Dan hadn't been up her ass that much, and they'd been married.
She slipped into her pajamas and grabbed some ice cream. She was certain that she'd end up fifty pounds heavier by the end of this pregnancy, but she didn't care. What did it matter at this point?
Just as she found a comfortable spot on the sofa, Beth heard the doorbell.
“What the fuck?” she asked herself.
Beth debated whether or not she wanted to answer. It was no doubt going to be Stephanie again, probably concerned about whether she'd eaten or not. It hadn't been but a couple of hours. She'd barely managed a peaceful shower and change of clothes.
Knowing that her friend would worry, she opted to hop up and get the door. Maybe she could say she was on the way to bed and Steph would go home. It was doubtful, but possible.
“I told you that I'm...” Beth froze as she swung the door open with a roll of her eyes.
“Hi, Beth,” Johnny smiled, and without any hesitation, she invited him inside.
CHAPTER FIVE
She wanted to ask him. She wanted nothing more than to understand where he'd been and why. She wanted to scream at him, throw things, and possibly even slap him. Bethany wanted to say and do a lot of things.
The problem was that all she could hear was the sound of her heart pounding inside of her chest. All she could see was the way he looked standing in front of her. All she could feel was the ache deep inside of her. The longing. The desire.
Her overly active hormones were in disarray at the sight of the man she wanted the most. They both sat on the couch, but no one seemed to be ready to speak. Beth knew that she should say something. Anything. However, she was afraid if she opened her mouth the only thing she'd be able to utter was, Please fuck me.
“Are you okay?” His eyes poured into her.
She could see his concern and care, and he almost looked at her with love. But how? He'd left her. He'd not even been there. He'd chosen to fuck her and leave.
Yet, all she could think about was how she wished he'd fuck her again. Damn hormones. This baby was making her crazy.
“No,” she answered honestly.
His eyes clouded with worry. He wanted to know what she meant, and she knew it. Rather than trying to explain it, she slid over closer to him.
“What is—” He started, but she placed a finger over his lips to shush him.
“I need you,” she answered. “A strong and powerful need like I've never known.” Her lips replaced the fingers she'd placed across his mouth.
Beth felt his tongue tease her own lips, as it slid its way into her mouth and began to explore. His hands reached behind her head and pulled her towards him. After a few minutes his mouth released hers, and he looked deep into her eyes.
“You are all I've thought about,” he confessed. “Seeing you. Touching you. Kissing you.”
It was the most he'd ever said to her, but she didn't want to hear it in that moment. She needed action and not words. Surely, he would be okay with that.
“Fuck me, Johnny,” she begged. There was no mincing words. There was no conversation about feelings or any of that. She just wanted him, and she wanted him now. “Please...” she begged again.
“Beth...we should really talk,” Johnny began and tried to pull back.
“I know. But not now,” she said and ran her hands under his shirt, slowly pulling it over his head. “Right now I just want to feel you.”
She watched his eyes darken with desire. Had he waited for her? Had he been with anyone else? In that moment she really didn't care. She just wanted to touch him.
“You will,” he answered. “But for now, we should talk.”
Beth wasn't having any of his talking at that moment. She’d spent the last however many weeks waiting on the sexual release that she needed so badly. Talking was only going to kill the mood. However, obviously Johnny wanted to do the noble and right thing. Fuck that.
She stood up and began to take her clothes off. As she slipped the tank top over her head, she heard his breath catch in his throat, and she couldn't help but smile. This was going to be easier than she thought.
“Beth,” he began, but she wouldn't let him finish.
Her shorts slid quickly to the floor, and she followed, landing on her knees. Crawling towards him, she watched him harden beneath his pants. That was the goal, and so far her mission was a success.
Kneeling before him, Beth slipped her hands up and unzipped his pants. Her fingers found the stiff shaft of his cock and pulled it through the opening.
“I want to taste you,” she moaned.
His cock stiffened beneath her touch, and she lowered her head down to the tip. Her tongue began to circle around it as he moaned and groaned with each movement.
“Mmmm,” she moaned, as she began to slip it into her mouth.
“Beth...” Johnny was almost pleading, but she wasn't sure for what.
“Mmmmm,” she moaned again, as she slid the shaft deep into her mouth and began to suck.
Johnny couldn't take it anymore and gave over to the desire to have her giving him head. She was amazing at it, unlike most of the girls he'd been with in the past.
Beth felt him stiffen and began to pull back. She had no intention of this ending with a blow job on the couch. Johnny had other plans. His hands twisted through her long hair and shoved her face into him, pushing the shaft deep into her throat.
“Don't stop now,” he moaned, and she began to suck a little harder.
Beth wasn't sure what to do. She wanted to please him, but she wanted to be pleased, too. It was looking like Johnny was getting what he wanted, and she was just going to be out of luck. However, that changed when he released her hair and allowed her to back up.
Beth went to move, but Johnny's hands grabbed her wrists. He pulled her onto his lap and his mouth took hers very possessively.
“That was very naughty,” he smiled. “Naughty girls get punished.” With that, he flipped her over and laid her across his lap.
Beth knew she was naked and her ass was in the air. Was he going to spank her? The idea thrilled her somewhat, and that made her feel a little odd. She couldn't see what was happening, and that made it even more exciting for her.
She felt his hand against her skin before she realized what was happening. A small yelp let him know that she was both in pain and enjoying it. Another came slowly and painfully, and this time her scream was a little louder.
Once he'd finished with her spanking, she assumed he'd let her go; but, that wasn't going to happen. Instead, she felt his fingers dip down her ass and in-between her thighs.
“Oh, God,” she cried.
He was so close to touching her. She wanted it more than anything.
Johnny watched, as her legs parted. She was eager for him to touch her. She had liked the spanking—almost as much as he'd liked feeling her mouth on him. God, she was the sexiest woman he'd ever had; but, she would be devastated if she knew he had been with others while he was gone. He just wouldn't tell her.
He thrust his fingers inside of her. She was eager, and the moan she let out at his touch let him know that she wanted him as much as he wanted her. As she lie across his legs, he continued to pound his fingers into her while flicking his thumb across her clit. His othe
r hand reached around and grabbed one of her tits.
The one thing he'd discovered during their last time together was that she really liked her nipples played with. So, he grabbed one and began to pull and twist.
“Oh my fucking god!” she moaned, as his hands continued to fuck her.
Her body began to tighten, and he thrust even harder and faster. His hand moved to the other nipple, and he tugged and twisted even rougher than he had with the first one.
Her legs began to tense, and he knew it was almost there—just as she began to act like she might come, he stopped. Completely. All hands off of her. He watched her body began to shake and she looked at him with pleading eyes.
Never Let Go (Devil's Chariots Motorcycle Club Book 2) Page 3