by Lynn, Janice
His eyes darkened. “Jessie.”
“I know, you’re not staying and you’re a fool for being here, but it’s only a kiss, Colin.”
“Only a kiss, she says.” He sighed, closed his eyes when she kissed the crook of his arm, higher, and again until her lips brushed the sleeve of his t-shirt.
His eyes remained closed and his body stiff. Her gaze dropped to his lap. Very stiff.
“Do you want me, Colin?” she asked, point blank, tired of playing games and wishing he’d open his eyes so she could try to read his thoughts. “I mean, really, really want me?”
He sucked in a deep breath, before nodding. “I really,” he said the words slowly, “really want you.”
Jessie’s stomach took up acrobatics and somersaulted low in her belly. She’d known, but to hear him say it, she squeezed her thighs together and fought the urge to whisper words she had no business even thinking much less saying.
Determined to remain silent, she kissed his shoulder. The indention at his collar bone. The pounding pulse at his throat. The strong line of his jaw. She pulled back, preparing to kiss his mouth, and realized he watched her from beneath lazy lids.
His eyes were darker than she’d ever seen them, almost a midnight blue. There was also a resolved, yet dangerous edge to them. Did he think he could scare her away?
“Do you know how hard you make it to do the right thing?”
She grazed her hand over his crotch. “I know exactly how hard I make things.”
He groaned.
She pressed her lips to his. Soft, coaxing his mouth to return her caress. With another groan, he did.
Wow, but he did. Tasting and tempting and scrumptiously delicious in the way he possessed her mouth. As if he craved her. Needed her. Wanted her. He touched her the way she’d always wanted to be touched. Deeply. Passionately. Possessively. Like he really did really, really want her.
She placed her hands to each side of his face and met him caress for caress. Kissed him until he shifted their positions to where he half lay on her, held her wrists, and raised her arms to where he pinned her hands above her head.
He stared at her for long moments, his breathing heavy, his expression unreadable.
Part of her wanted to squirm beneath him, to lift her pelvis to press into him, but whatever weighed on his mind, she wanted him.
She held her breath and waited.
“You just left the hospital.”
Were they back to this? Did he ever just do something without over analyzing it?
“Doing this would be wrong.”
She bit her lower lip, wanted to close her eyes, but held fast to his gaze. She wouldn’t seduce, but she would tell him the truth. “I want you to stay.”
His jaw tensed. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
His arm muscles flexed, giving hint at how much effort stopping had cost. “If I make love to you, it won’t change a thing about how I feel about Causing A Commotion.”
She laughed softly, wishing her hands were free so she could stroke her fingers over the hard contours of his biceps. “This doesn’t have a thing to do with work. Just you and me.”
“Is there a you and me?” His gaze held her tighter than the grip on her wrists, pinned her more securely.
What was he asking?
“I think there is.” She fought the claustrophobia her admission led to. Her eyes were wide open. She wouldn’t fall in love, and she wouldn’t be hurt. It had nothing to do with being alone, that she didn’t want to be alone. It was that she wanted to be with Colin. Had from the moment she’d first seen him. Perhaps that’s why she’d been able to stick with her resolve to stay away from men. All but Colin.
“Yes, there is definitely a you and me,” she said the words louder this time, surer. “I want there to be a you and me. I want that desperately.”
He nodded, a slight move of his head, but a nod all the same. His head dipped and he nuzzled her throat, her neck, breathed in the scent of her hair, exhaled a contented sigh that was followed by a discontented groan when he shifted above her, more fully aligning their bodies.
Jessie felt the difference in his touch.
Something snapped within Colin. His control? Whatever, she liked it. Liked how each movement he made was worshipful, caressing, purposeful, loving. No, not loving, just enraptured. Colin wanted her as much as she wanted him.
His hips ground against hers, his mouth catching her gasp. He’d wondered if she was sure? Ha, she’d never been more sure of anything in her life. She wanted Colin. Wanted him in every way. Which scared her, but the new Jessie didn’t give in to her fears. She faced them head on.
“Yes,” she breathed against Colin’s demanding mouth. “Oh, yes.”
She wasn’t sure what she was agreeing to, but when his hands released her, she eagerly waited to see what he’d do.
He didn’t disappoint.
He skimmed her arms, up again, ran his fingers through her hair, kissed right beneath her ear. His every touch worshipped. Mesmerized. Captured her completely.
“Colin.”
His gaze lifted. For the briefest of seconds, she wished he’d smile, whisper words of love, then he kissed her so hard she couldn’t wish at all. Couldn’t do anything but return his fervor. Kiss for kiss. Touch for touch. Ache for ache.
His T-shirt disappeared. Her shirt and pants, gone. Clothed only in the bright blue thong and bra she’d bought because the color matched his eyes, she splayed her hands over his chest, his sculpted abs. She kissed his navel and squatted beside the sofa to unsnap his jeans. She stared up at him when he stood to allow her to shuck the frayed denim down his hard thighs. His hard everything.
He was beautiful. Everything a man should be. Everything she wanted.
So much so trepidation entered her heart. Then Colin grabbed her head, pushed her to him, and only he was in her mind, in her heart.
She liked that he spoke her name, that he groaned and breathed hard at the flicker of her tongue across his silky smooth flesh. That his eyes closed and he threw his head back and his whole body trembled before he pulled her to her feet, not letting her push him beyond the brink.
She’d wanted that. To make him lose control. To know that she’d shattered his composure.
Instead, he shattered hers. He kissed her. Her breasts. Her belly. Her thighs. He sampled every dewy drop of her flesh, tasted her femininity with huskily whispered pleasure.
Jessie didn’t remember lying down on the plush carpet. Didn’t remember Colin donning a condom and joining her there.
Colin spreading her thighs and thrusting into her body, that she remembered. In living color. In explicit detail. In ecstatic pleasure that she doubted she’d ever forget.
Bodies locked together, they moved as one. Touched as one. Loved as one.
When Colin came, Jessie’s cry of pleasure mingled with his.
Oh. My. God. She’d had orgasms before. Lots of orgasms. None like the cataclysmic, earth-shattering meltdown Colin just gave her.
Wow. She’d been right to have sex with Colin.
She wouldn’t have wanted to miss this for the world.
He collapsed, his hard, sweaty body pressing her into the carpet.
Jessie kissed his damp cheek and closed her eyes. “Thank you.”
Problem was how was she going to live without him now that she knew? Knew exactly what this man did to her and just how well he did it?
* * *
Colin dropped his forehead to Jessie’s and cursed himself.
What the hell had he just done? Other than give Jessie a carpet burn that was sure to leave a mark? He should have at least carried her to the bed, but hell, he hadn’t been thinking, only feeling.
He’d made a big mistake. A colossal one, that’s what. He’d had sex with Jessie. An actress. His co-host. The woman who stood in the way of his getting his show back. She was his enemy in many regards, and he’d had sex with her.
The best sex of his life.
Sex that turned a man’s skin inside out he came so hard.
From the moment he’s seen her half-in, half-out of the cab, he’d wanted her. Every second since had been leading up to this moment. To his taking her and making her his.
Only she wasn’t his.
Jessie Davidson collected lovers like other women collected knick-knacks.
The best thing he could do was to act like this was no big deal. Just ordinary sex.
Ordinary sex that had him shaking. That had him already craving to know if he’d come that hard again if they repeated their activities throughout the night. That had him thinking he was insane for thinking about loving her again when he’d come mere seconds before.
Making love with Jessie just made him want her more.
Like alcohol. You thought you could just take a sip and then you had to have another and thinking it no big deal, you took that sip. Next thing you knew you were unable to stop. Addicted from the first drop.
He craved Jessie with that intensity. More so. Much more so. Which scared him.
Other than sobriety, had he ever wanted anything more than the next drink?
Knowing he was in over his head and not nearly strong enough to face a more zealous addiction, Colin rolled off the intoxicating woman beneath him.
The television screen flashed with the menu and played a tumultuous beat, indicating the movie ended at some point during their lovemaking.
Earlier he’d wanted to watch Jessie onscreen, now he only wanted to leave, to get far away from Jessie’s sweet allure.
Knowing he couldn’t stay, Tamara could be home any minute and they were naked in the living room, Colin stood, scooped up his clothes and headed toward the bathroom. Without saying a word.
What could he say? Thanks for the best sex of my life, but, no thanks, I’m too much of a chicken to risk seconds?
When he came out, Jessie was fully dressed and sat on the sofa. She’d restarted the movie and it was paused on the last scene he remembered watching.
She smiled and held up the popcorn bowl. “Hungry?”
She had no idea. Just looking at her sent him into a starving frenzy. He should be satisfied.
Since she was determined to act as if nothing happened, Colin figured he should do the same. At least until he figured out this mess.
It was damn foolish to be here. For him to have made love to her. For him to risk screwing up his career again.
Over a woman.
An actress.
She’d probably faked orgasms on screen. Who said she hadn’t just faked the one he’d given her?
Karen faked a lot of things. Caring for him. Orgasms. Sobriety. She’d actually griped at him for drinking. For the first time ever, blame shifted off himself and onto the woman who’d changed his life forever. In a bad way.
He got the feeling making love to Jessie Davidson just changed his life forever, too.
In just as bad a way.
Chapter Fourteen
The following Monday Jessie fidgeted in her dressing room chair while the make-up artist applied the last touches to her face. Her hair lay in a fashionable style and she wore a killer blue skirt and mini-jacket with a tight little white tee beneath it. Big white hoops adorned her ears and bubble gum flavored gloss shined her lips.
Elaine brushed and powdered until Jessie’s eyes appeared huge and quite exotic considering she was just recording a talk show.
Of course, Eric was on today’s show and perhaps Elaine thought she’d want to make an impression.
Ha. If only the make-up artist knew impressions had been made long ago. Made and moved beyond.
Still, Eric agreed to come on the show to talk about his new film. A break-through for him in many ways since the film cast him as a successful, married businessman who was secretly gay and in love with his wife’s twin brother. Not Eric’s usual hunkboy fare. Already the critics acclaimed the show.
Or maybe Elaine wanted her to make a good impression after her collapse last week. She wanted to make a good impression all right. One on her lover. A lover who’d redefined her definition of orgasm before leaving her apartment. The coward.
Why had he admitted to wanting her if he was going to run afterwards?
He hadn’t run so far as to not call her. Once in the morning and once each evening to check to see how she was feeling, but he’d found reasons to not to physically see her for the rest of the week and weekend.
Today, he’d have no choice but to see. To talk with her while they sparred on Causing A Commotion. She might just slip off her heels and play footsie with him during one of his segments. See just how far up his starchy pants leg she could go before she got a reaction.
Because now that she knew, she wasn’t willing to slip back to status quo. Colin and she shared something special and she wouldn’t let him ignore her.
She’d used the days apart to evaluate how she felt about Colin and what happened—both the sex and his mach one escape. No matter how she looked at it, she wanted Colin in her life and would fight to make that happen. Because whether he was ready to acknowledge it or not, he cared for her. Really cared. Like no man had ever cared for her and the sensation was heady. Possibly because she reciprocated his feelings.
Colin couldn’t have faked the way he’d looked into her eyes when he’d made them one. She couldn’t have, and she was an actress. Or was she?
Because that was the other thing she’d realized. She liked her job on Causing A Commotion. More so than any acting job she’d ever done. Perhaps because she’d just not landed the right role for her yet, but she really thought it had something to do with being able to be herself, expressing her own thoughts and views rather than pretending.
A knock to her dressing room door had Elaine and her eyes meeting in the mirror. They mutually shrugged.
“Come in,” she called, while Elaine surveyed the finished product.
Jessie’s breath hitched. Had Colin come by to get them beyond the awkwardness of seeing each other for the first time since they’d had sex? Jittery flutters danced in her stomach at the prospect of looking into his eyes and knowing he wanted her.
Maxwell walked in. She kept her smile pasted on, barely. No matter, she’d see Colin in a few minutes regardless.
“Hi Max.” She didn’t think he liked it when she shortened his name, but he never called her on it. Just sort of gritted his teeth each time she did.
“Jessie.” Maxwell shot Elaine a dismissive look and the woman scurried out of the dressing room. “You look beautiful, as always.”
“Thanks.” She grinned, whistling at his immaculate attire. “You don’t look too shabby yourself.”
Max glanced down at what he wore, as if seeing it for the first time. “Yes.”
“Looks great, Max.”
Jessie smiled, then checked her make-up in the mirror. Much heavier than what she normally wore, but being in front of the camera required a thicker application.
“As always, you’re breath-taking.”
Still inspecting her make-up, Jessie ignored him. She’d discovered right after starting at Wolf that Maxwell was quite glib with the compliments.
He came up behind her chair, standing where Elaine had moments before. “I rarely see you these days,” he said, watching her in the mirror.
“Because you and J.P. made me take the rest of last week off,” she protested, lower lip out.
“I wasn’t talking about this past week,” he clarified. “I don’t see you often enough, period.”
Jessie caught his eye in the mirror and grinned. “Have you not been watching Causing A Commotion? Shame on you.”
Maxwell frowned, showing frustration at her intentional misunderstanding. “You know what I mean.”
There wasn’t any need for her to spend time with Maxwell. He was the company CEO. She was merely one of many on his payroll. More importantly, he was married. A nice man, but it irked her that he didn’t wear a wedding band. And that he flirted openly. Typical m
an, though.
Now that she’d discovered not all men were typical, she’d never go back to ordinary.
“Did you like the roses I sent?”
She’d given the gorgeous flowers to the nurses who’d taken care of her, along with the other arrangements. Colin’s mixed flowers had been the only one she’d taken to the apartment.
“Yes.” She rubbed her lips together, evening out her lipstick. “They were beautiful, but you shouldn’t have.”
Maxwell placed his hand on her shoulder, gently massaging. “I would like to give you much more than just flowers.”
Jessie didn’t jerk out of his grasp, but did meet his gaze in the mirror and gave him a stern look. “You’re married.”
His mouth formed a hard line. “I’m a man with many needs, and my patience is wearing thin.”
“I’m a woman who doesn’t mess around with other women’s husbands. Not ever.”
Maxwell’s hand moved to touch the curve of her neck. She bit back the desire to recoil. This was Maxwell. Her boss. Not just her boss, but ‘the’ boss. A man who’d championed every idea she’d had for Causing A Commotion. She liked her job.
She needed to handle this with finesse.
But she did need to handle it. Now.
Maxwell had hinted in the past that he’d be willing to take their relationship beyond employer/employee. She’d patted him on the cheek, brushed off his advances, and he’d let it go. Never had he touched her in the manner he did at the moment. She didn’t like him touching her.