Having said all that, when we had our bedroom in the Jacobean part of the house Maggie always moved elsewhere in the house when I was away on business. Maybe she knows something I don’t.
8
Tying The Knot
Some of our friends had asked if we would host their family weddings. We always turned these requests down. We felt we were busy enough without adding wedding days to our events calendar. Moreover, it seemed a huge responsibility to plan and organise such an important day in a couple’s life. We already had quite enough stress.
Everything changed after Simon Jenkins and his wife, actress Gayle Hunnicutt, visited the Hall. Simon was researching his new book England’s Thousand Best Houses and wanted to include a section on Crook Hall. In conversation with Maggie he suggested that the Hall was an idyllic place to hold weddings. Its history and romantic setting overlooking a world heritage site would be a perfect choice for those looking for a unique venue for their day. He was very enthusiastic about the idea.
Although he persuaded us to reconsider our position we were still rather nervous. We knew we had much work to do. The first step was to liaise with the local council in order to gain the necessary permissions to hold civil ceremonies. The paperwork was daunting but our original perceptions of insurmountable difficulties were totally unfounded. We were fortunate to have fantastic support from the local registry office and the other council officers also proved to be very helpful.
What was more challenging was Maggie attending a course to acquire a licence to serve alcohol. She returned suitably qualified, but very concerned about all the custodial sentences she could serve for failing to comply with the numerous legal requirements. She was troubled by having to distinguish between those who were too drunk to be served and those who were just sober enough to order another drink. I felt this was an area I could provide help in. Spotting a drunk would not be too difficult a task as I had had four years of intensive drinking experience while at university. The only proviso was that I would have to remain sober. Finally, with all the drunks (I mean ducks) in a row we were ready to start.
We thoroughly enjoyed running the weddings. What a privilege to be present on these special days for such lovely couples. The wedding parties had the full run of the place, hiring the whole Hall and Gardens for the entire day. There was a certain self-selection and the type of people who wanted to be married in a Medieval Hall tended to be drawn towards the relaxed, informal weddings we offered. Arrangements were usually fairly simple. Some of the memories of those early weddings have stayed with me. No doubt the couples remember the incidents equally well, so no names in this chapter!
* * *
One of the most romantic moments was the time when a bride decided to arrive on a white horse. The idea was that she would ride side saddle up the lane to the Hall. She would be greeted by the guests and then slide off the horse into her future husband’s arms. They say that you should never work with animals but this must have been the exception which proves the rule because it was absolutely perfect. She looked beautiful in her wedding dress which floated around her like something from a Disney movie.
Some weeks later I was talking to another future bride about her plans. I made the mistake of telling her about the bride who arrived on the horse. She thought it was a great idea and wanted to incorporate it into her day. Her fiancé pointed out that she could not ride. Now that entrance would have been a disaster.
* * *
Horses did cause a problem at one wedding. This was when three of our equine friends from an adjacent field jumped into the garden half an hour before an outside wedding was due to take place. They took up position among the chairs in front of the wedding gazebo, determinedly chomping on the grass. Fortunately for all concerned one of our team was an accomplished horse rider and was able to gain control of the horses and escort them off the premises.
* * *
Birds have caused us more difficulties. At one wedding the bride told me in confidence that she was having a hawk fly along the aisle to bring the ring to the best man. It was to be a surprise and she swore me to secrecy. On the day of the wedding the bride’s mother popped in to see me and she said that she just wanted to mention the birds. I said I knew all about it and there was nothing to worry about. She said I could not possibly know; the doves she was going to release at the wedding were to be a complete surprise and she had not told a soul.
I thought this will be more than a surprise – it will be a bloodbath!
I imagined the hawk having its own wedding breakfast of tasty doves. I could not break a confidence but on second thoughts I just had to. I delicately introduced the subject of hawks and rings. The bride’s mother was not to be discouraged and told me she would take complete responsibility.
I waited for the match of the day and was extremely grateful when the hawk did not turn up. A huge sigh of relief accompanied the best man’s hand pulling the ring out of his pocket when requested. Not a bird in sight. The doves were released somewhat later and without any bloodshed.
On another occasion there was a wedding when an owl was used to deliver the ring. We were told that the owl had been well briefed. How you brief an owl is beyond me but come to think of it they are reputed to be very wise birds. This owl had been trained to go straight to the best man who would be easily identified as he would be wearing a black shirt. On the face of it this all seemed well thought through but no one had considered the finer detail.
Mark, one of the team, had a phobia with regard to birds and was wearing a very smart black shirt on the day. What an unfortunate coincidence. The owl swooped on Mark and perched on his shoulder. Not knowing exactly what to do Mark began to shuffle slowly towards the best man. He was terrified but to the guests it looked like a choreographed movement which had been planned beforehand and the ring giving went without a hitch.
Mark worked with us for about ten years and I do not think I ever saw him look more scared. His devotion to duty on every occasion was beyond doubt but this was a situation where his commitment was tested to the limits – and he excelled. Although from that day on he was always seen at weddings in a sparkling white shirt.
Another wedding couple had a hawk deliver the ring. The wedding was held indoors. Again not everyone knew of the plan. A lot of people are frightened of birds and the registrar that day was one of them. As the bird swooped down the aisle the registrar was the first person to spot the hawk. He moved extremely fast. He stood up and turned to retreat through the doorway immediately behind him. What he did not realise is the doorway was just that. No door, just an alcove. He hit the wall with a good deal of force and then turned back to the gathering. People often find other's misfortunes amusing and laughter erupted around the Hall. The proceedings resumed and the poor registrar was left with mortar on his face.
* * *
I remember another wedding where things did not quite go to plan. There had been a catalogue of mishaps before the couple even arrived. The groom’s suit that he had had made did not fit him so there had to be some last minute alterations. The florist had got the wrong date so the flowers were not arranged in time. (We had plenty of flowers in the gardens so no problem in this area.) Finally, the ceremony was about to take place but the bridesmaids had not arrived. We waited. We waited. And we waited.
Eventually I was given their number and rang to find out where they were. It transpired that the two bridesmaids, who were both under twelve, were being brought along by their elderly grandparents who had got lost on their way to us. I got through to grandad who was driving. He quite rightly passed the phone over to his wife. In her panic she dropped it into her lap and forgot about it. I could hear her quite clearly, when the car stopped, asking pedestrians directions to Crook Hall. One after another told her they did not know. I was shouting down the phone,
“I know the way. Ask me.”
I was ignored despite rep
eating myself many times in a louder and louder voice. Nobody, until the fifth pedestrian was asked, knew where we were. They finally arrived. Things were running very late. The registrars only had fifteen minutes before they had to leave for the next wedding. They could only complete the legal part of the proceedings so Maggie finished off the ceremony. She was in her element. All’s well that ends well. It was such a lovely day and they were a wonderful couple. They will have some great tales to tell about their wedding day.
* * *
We did not have many weddings in that first year but the one we were really looking forward to was our son Ian’s wedding to Rebecca. They had become engaged over New Year and had fixed a date for September. We were delighted with the news. Moreover, we also knew that we would be able to see a wedding through the customer’s eyes so this was going to be an interesting experience. We were a little nervous. There was no need to be. The wedding was perfect. The Hall looked beautiful and our staff were excellent, we could not have hoped for better customer service.
Ian and Rebecca, who now have two children, visit us on a regular basis. We also welcome other married couples who return to celebrate an anniversary or just pop in to relive the memories of their day.
The one thing we could not guarantee on a wedding day was the weather and this always meant we had to have a plan B. Ian and Rebecca’s wedding was the worst weather of that year but it was still a wonderful day. We now knew that poor weather was not a problem, we just need to be prepared for every eventuality.
* * *
However some things cannot be predicted and the weather at one wedding did cause some last minute drama. We had the worst floods in at least forty years. The river had burst its banks and the water was surging along the road below the Hall and creating an access problem.
Maggie burst into action. The wedding just had to go ahead. The rain stopped but it was more than a little wet underfoot. The water was too deep for our four wheel drive vehicle so it would not be safe for wedding guests to bring their cars through. We had to come up with another alternative. Maggie tried to persuade the fire brigade to ferry people through the flood waters in their fire engine. No joy.
After several increasingly frantic phone calls we managed to get a local farmer, Tom, to provide his grain truck to transport guests through the water to the dry land at the entrance to the Hall. We were rather nervous as a few weeks earlier he had delivered manure for the garden to us in the same truck. How clean would it be?
The guests arrived, parked in the large car park along the road, and were picked up by Tom driving his tractor which was pulling a hastily cleaned and decorated truck. It looked great. I helped everyone to climb up the ladder at the back. What an adventure. Footage of the escapade appeared on TV.
A couple with their young children arrived too late for the unconventional transport and I had to guide them through a number of hedges to get to the wedding. They ended up rather wet and bedraggled. At the end of the day their three year old was so disappointed that the water had receded and he had to go home the normal way that he cried. He made such a fuss that we indulged him by guiding him back through the hedgerows. Everyone had a great day and we will always be grateful to Tom for helping us out.
* * *
Quite often the men, whether fathers, grooms or brothers, seem to take a secondary role in this wedding arranging business. Sometimes they excel in these subsidiary roles. One father of the bride was instructed to look after a cask of beer which had been ordered. I am not sure whether or not he had experience in the NHS but he approached the task like a medic. He looked after this cask as if it contained some organs for a future, life-saving transplant. He arranged to come up one evening to put cold towels over the cask and tied on ice packs. The operation took a good few hours. He then returned and repeated the same procedure for two more evenings. When I was serving the beer at the wedding I was just waiting for people to comment on the drinks, not too warm I hoped. Everyone seemed happy with the temperature. All was well.
* * *
We used to let people bring their own food and wine to their weddings but we have had to put restrictions on this to ensure that quality is maintained. In one instance a couple had a number of bottles of wine left over because their guests had not drunk them. They kindly gave them to our staff. Unfortunately the wine tasted dreadful. Next morning the staff all reported having had to throw the undrinkable wine out. All that is except for one team member who had drunk it, and who looked very much the worse for wear. After this episode we identified an excellent supplier of quality wines at reasonable prices who we now use all of the time.
* * *
Our food offering dilemmas took a little bit longer to resolve. We had some excellent outside caterers but others were less efficient. I remember when one wedding couple enlisted a friend to take charge of the catering. Eighty steaks cooked on a domestic barbecue. Slowly. It was close to winning a place in the Guinness Book of Records for the longest time between the first and last meal being served.
On another occasion a bride’s caterer let her down by not turning up and disappearing with her money. We had to help to resolve the issue. It was all hands on deck in the kitchen that day. The following week we read a story in the press which named us in the headline and then described the incident. The headline suggested we had let the couple down, with no mention that we had in fact helped to save their day. After that incident we were more forthcoming in recommending reliable caterers and we have a secret blacklist of companies who we do not want to work here again.
* * *
We used to offer wedding ceremonies prior to 11am on Sundays. After this time the general public were allowed into the gardens. This suited couples who did not want to go to the expense of hiring the whole venue on an exclusive basis. They could just have the ceremony followed by a small drinks reception. A number of issues arose which made us come to the conclusion that this was not such a good idea: in one case a visitor arrived at 11am and paid her entry fee to visit the Hall and Gardens. She was very well dressed. What we did not know was that she had invited herself to the wedding. She sauntered in and joined the wedding party who had gathered in one of the gardens. She was very much the uninvited guest. She was known by the bride’s family and had been excluded from the celebrations for reasons which were never disclosed. I had to let her know that she was very welcome to visit the Hall and Gardens but we could not allow her to mingle with the wedding party. It was a very uncomfortable situation for all concerned.
* * *
On another occasion I remember being woken by a phone call from a man at four in the morning. He asked me whether his wife was still at the Hall as she had been attending that day’s wedding. Maggie began to get stressed. The Hall was all locked up, the guests had gone hours earlier and Maggie was worried that the woman could be locked in a room or even worse, collapsed in the gardens or fallen into the pond. However, I recognised his description of his wife and knew she was no longer on the premises. I had seen her leaving with a high spirited group of men. I don’t think that was what the caller was expecting. Another uncomfortable conversation ensued as I explained this to the increasingly irate husband.
* * *
Another awkward situation arose when I was making sure everyone had left the building after a wedding and came across a rather inebriated bride in the attic room. She was on her own. She swayed towards me and asked me to help her out of her wedding dress. I had improved my customer service over the years but I did feel this was probably a step too far. I said I would find someone to help her as I fled the room to search out her new husband.
* * *
Each wedding is bespoke. The themes and colour schemes are always different and the mixture of families and personalities all mean that each day is unique. For instance, we hosted a small Japanese wedding with twelve guests. The bride wore a traditional Japanese kimono. In order to attend
, her parents, who spoke no English, had made a journey halfway around the world, flying into Newcastle airport on the Friday and going back to Japan on the Monday. By the end of the weekend we had not learnt any Japanese but we had all perfected a suitably polite Japanese bow.
* * *
One of the features of each wedding was the sheer imagination of the couple in planning their day. The fact that they take over the whole venue for their wedding means that their creativity can run at full throttle. The themes can be very imaginative; Alice in Wonderland, gothic, winter wonderland and even a festival themed one. On the latter occasion the groom had his name changed by deed poll so that he and his wife could be introduced as Mr and Mrs Fantastic. How crazy was that?
* * *
The work that has gone into some of the arrangements has been phenomenal. One couple had place settings made out of Lego characters which reflected the characteristics of each of their guests, such as a figure holding a baby for a new mum and a figure with a camera for a keen photographer. It was lovely when the couple also provided our two wedding coordinators with Lego figures of themselves as mementos.
Blood, Sweat and Scones Page 10