“Da!” Caleb said with a grin on his face.
“Yeah, I bet you say that to all the guys,” Cole joked grimly. Caleb also seemed big on Ma, Ba, and Na.
At his feet, the cat meowed. At least he’d stopped making that strangled choking sound. Angus didn’t travel well, but with the car stopped, he’d decided to curl up on top of Cole’s feet and purr like an engine.
How in the hell had he been left babysitting a cantankerous cat?
“Da,” Caleb said with a forceful kick of his legs.
If anyone he knew could see him now, they’d laugh their ass off. Cole had to grin. And cuddle his son closer to his chest.
“He likes you,” Jessa said as she slid back into the car. She was wearing Cole’s coat, her small body swallowed by it, but he couldn’t have her cold. Despite the chill outside, the car was still warm and toasty, so she shrugged out of the coat as she got in.
Cole had to swallow before looking up into Jessa’s eyes. “I don’t know why.”
Jessa frowned. “I don’t want to wait out here while Burke shops. I know what Caleb needs.”
“We’ve already had this argument. You’ll draw attention since you’re wearing pajama bottoms and a tank top. Without a bra. And yes, I can tell.” In fact, he could see the outline of her pert little nipples even through the near darkness, and it was driving him crazy. Cole squirmed, but he couldn’t let his dick do his thinking now.
She crossed her arms over her chest. As if that was going to stop him from looking. He snorted.
“I told Burke that if I’d gotten the ‘we’re going to try to kill you tonight’ memo, I would have dressed for the occasion.”
That sharpened his focus. “I’m sorry you got tangled up in this.”
Those words weren’t enough, but he couldn’t say or do anything more at the moment. Caleb settled his little head on Cole’s shoulder. The baby sighed, and Cole’s hand covered the baby’s back as he enjoyed the motion of Caleb breathing in and out, calming him, soothing him.
“What exactly am I tangled up in? Look, I figured out you weren’t really businessmen. I wasn’t ever sure if you were criminals or cops.”
Something in between, perhaps. “Neither. If you thought we were criminals, why the hell did you get involved?”
Her eyes rolled, weariness plain in the green depth. The gas station neons illuminated her skin. “Stupid, I guess. I was a kid. I thought I was in love.”
Well, he’d tried to tell her. She’d finally wised up, it seemed. She hadn’t called or texted when she’d had their baby. She’d just cut them out of her life. “We’re private investigators. We were on a case in New York when we met you.”
“With all the lies you fed me, I figured there was something going on. Do you want me to take him?” Jessa asked, eyeing the baby.
No. This might be his only moment with Caleb. “He’s asleep. I don’t want to wake him.”
“All right,” she replied with a deep sigh. “I think you owe me some explanations. What kind of case were you on? When did it end? And why did you show up at my house tonight?”
“We were hired by three gentlemen from a country called Bezakistan. It’s a small country just outside the Middle East.”
“I’ve heard of it.” She frowned. “Don’t they practice polyandry, multiple men with one woman? Do you guys have a network or something? A Craig’s List for sharing?”
He felt his eyes narrow. “I’m trying to explain. If you can’t give me a little courtesy, then maybe you should wait for Burke.”
She bit into her bottom lip, a sure sign that she was nervous. God, he loved that lip. “I’m sorry. I’m on edge. Please continue.”
“We met Rafe and Kade after a mission. I’d helped their brother, Talib, out of a tough spot. When their cousin went missing, they called. She was only eighteen.”
“A missing girl? Did you find her?”
“Eventually. Her name was Alea. She went to New York for college. Six months of daily phone calls to her mother, and then nothing. When we started looking into it, we realized that there was a pattern. Alea wasn’t the only girl missing. She’d been working in a club. She kept her wealth and privilege a secret. Everyone thought she was just another student living in an NYU dorm. That was what did her in. Ricardo Delgado ran coke for one of the big Colombian syndicates, but that wasn’t enough for him. He decided to start trafficking women.”
“Oh, my god.” She put a hand over her mouth and sat back. “That’s terrible.”
“He would find pretty homeless girls or foreign students and clean them up. He would display them in his club, and if they worked out, he would sell them to private owners or South American bordellos. We posed as wealthy men looking for a private pet.”
“That sounds dangerous. God, Cole, you could have been killed.”
“Almost was a couple of times. We videotaped our meetings with Delgado when we purchased a young Asian girl. She’s home with her family now. Delgado had friends in the FBI, but it didn’t matter at that point. They couldn’t risk their positions when we had everything on tape, ready for primetime news, so the fucker finally went down.”
Jessa wiped at her eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me about your mission when we met?”
“And get you involved in all that danger? Hell, no! We never intended to drag you into any of this. We thought we were careful, but Delgado’s son found out about you. Do you remember the morning we had breakfast at the Waldorf? The morning after we first made love? Remember the man who walked up as we sat at the table?”
Her eyes widened. “Yes! Oh, my god, that was Marco? I heard Burke say his name when he was talking on the phone. He blew up my house?”
Cole nodded. Jessa was a sharp woman. “His father was the man we put in jail. He died shortly after, before he could go to trial. Burke and I were down in South America looking for Alea. According to the authorities, Delgado’s murder in prison was payback from another cartel.”
“And you found her?”
Cole took a deep breath, his hand going to the baby’s back. So innocent. Fuck, he would do just about anything to protect this child from the shit the world could throw. “Finally. Shortly before his arrest, Delgado had shipped Alea off to South America. We went down there and spent three months just trying to find her. It took another month of greasing the right palms so we could eventually rescue her. We pulled her out of a Colombian brothel in one of the worst parts of Medellin. She was strung out on drugs and had almost wasted away.”
He didn’t tell her how she’d begged them to kill her. She hadn’t wanted to go home, just get her next fix—or die. She hadn’t looked a thing like the vibrant college girl in the picture her cousins had given them. She’d been a shell.
“If you found her within a couple of months, why were you gone for a year?”
He hesitated. Fuck, he didn’t want to tell her how hurt he’d been after being told that she’d married. The kicker was, all that time apart—he and Burke had been almost entirely at fault. Eventually, they’d have to confess how stupid they’d been, just not minutes after seeing her house explode. “After we found Alea, we discovered there were another ten families who’d lost their daughters. We brought Alea back home, and her cousins opened their wallets to help us reunite these other women with their loved ones. The families didn’t have the money to pay us, but Tal, Rafe, and Kade did. In the end, we found seven broken women and three bodies. We gave a year of our lives to this fucking case, and we barely scratched the surface of the misery Delgado spread. I feel like we failed. It wasn’t enough.”
Jessa sat back, solemn. “I had no idea. I thought you had just left.”
“We’ve been buried in drug dealers, slavers, and pimps. I’ve felt so goddamn dirty for the last year, dealing with drug dealers, slavers, and pimps. And we didn’t want to drag you in deeper.”
“I can understand that you had a job to do, but tell me something, Cole. Do they not have phones in South America? You couldn’t find one?�
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If you had been married, a phone call from your lovers might have pissed off your husband.
But that hadn’t been the only reason. Instead, he said, “And risk those bastards tracing the call back to you? No way, baby. You don’t understand how corrupt these men are or how far their reach extends.”
She nodded reluctantly. “Since they just blew up my house, I have to suppose you’re right. You could have given me your real names before you left. All I had was a phone number written on a tiny piece of paper. Do you know how easy it was to lose that number?”
She’d lost it? “Did you try to call us?”
“When I found out I was pregnant, yes. But I shoved the paper into my jeans that morning when you left. Housekeeping took my jeans and washed them. No more number. So I waited. I was sure you would come back. You said you loved me.” She sniffled but kept her tough-girl armor around her. “I believed you.”
Cole closed his eyes, feeling low and sad and twenty kinds of pissed off at fate. “Fuck.”
“I used every dime I had saved up to try to track you down so I could tell you I was pregnant, but no one knew Burke and Cole Carlisle.”
“It’s Lennox. Our last name is Lennox,” Cole conceded.
Jessa simply shook her head as though it no longer mattered. “When I was about seven months along, I gave up. I figured the whole song and dance about coming back was just a line to ease your way out of my life.”
“Jessa…”
“Don’t.” She held up a hand, looking moments away from tears. “I understand why you did it. I’ll concede that I would have tried to keep you. I would have cried and begged and been a general nuisance, so you were probably right to lie.”
“We didn’t want to lie, Jessa.” His voice started to rise, but Caleb shifted. He had to stay calm for their son’s sake. A son they had to protect above all else.
“All this dangerous stuff… This is your life, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” This was why he’d stayed away from women like Jessa. “Burke and I joined the Navy when we were just kids. Our parents died when we were fifteen. We had one relative, a cruel bastard of an uncle. He went through any money our parents had, not that it was a lot. When we turned eighteen and the state support stopped, he gave us twenty bucks each and told us to get out. We joined up and made the SEAL program. We served overseas and started our own security company when we were discharged. Burke took heavy fire in Afghanistan. He lost some use of his left arm. The Navy cut him loose. I followed. We take rough cases. It’s the only life I know.”
It was brutal and ruthless and never stopped.
“I can’t live this way. You know that if we survive this, I can’t be around you. I can’t let Caleb be around you. He’s my baby. He’s my only family. I can’t risk him. I want you gone as soon as possible.”
Cole felt the cold like never before. He’d told her from the start. He’d warned her. He’d fucking tried to walk away from her, but she’d drawn him in. Damn it, he’d loved her. And now she was telling him he had no place in his son’s life? Bitterness crept through his veins. Caleb was so sweet, so trusting. The kid’s fathers had been in his life for less than two hours, and what did he have to show for it? His house in rubble, and he was on the run. He was about to be separated from his mother. Yeah, Cole saw that he’d been real fucking good for the kid so far.
Jessa’s lip trembled. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m twelve kinds of freaked out right now. I really did try to call you and Burke because I thought Caleb needed his dads. Can we not make any decisions right now?”
But she’d already made the smart one. Cole pulled Caleb off his shoulder gently and handed him to Jessa. “Take him.”
As soon as the baby’s soft, sleeping weight left his arms, he clenched his jaw and exited the car. Fuck. He might never hold his son again, but she was right. Caleb deserved better.
Jessa followed, the coat back around her body. She’d tucked Caleb inside, only a tuft of hair visible. “Cole?”
“I’m no good for him. I never wanted a kid in the first place.”
He hadn’t—at least in the past. But now he wanted Caleb desperately. He wanted Jessa. Even that stupid cat who had thrown up everywhere. He wanted the goddamn white picket fence, but his life didn’t work that way.
Caleb turned his little head, pushing at the coat around him. His sleepy eyes sought Cole. That innocent gaze felt like a stab in the fucking heart.
“Just do what we tell you and you’ll be with him again. You won’t see me after this.” He would disappear. He would walk into Colombia and save as many abducted girls as he could until he found that bullet with his name on it. Burke would stay. He’d said as much that day in the Mexican restaurant. Burke had been willing to take Jessa without Cole. Burke loved her. He was way fucking smarter.
“I got everything on the list.” Burke approached, pushing a full cart. At the tension in the air, his eyes shifted, narrowed, quickly figuring out the situation and assigning blame. “What did you do?”
Cole shook his head. He wasn’t having this fight. She was Burke’s now. Burke would charm her, say all the right things. He would take care of her and Caleb.
And Cole would protect them all from afar.
When Jessa started to cry, Burke wrapped his arms around her. Cole turned away.
This was for the best. He wasn’t good for anyone. His uncle had drummed that into his head for years, and given the ugly things Cole had done to survive and put money in the bank, he couldn’t disagree. Jessa and Caleb would be better off if he disappeared from their lives forever.
* * * *
One year earlier, December 28 – New York City
Jessa wanted to have sex—with both of them. Burke was pretty sure his cock was going to explode. And he was pretty sure his heart wasn’t far behind.
She was different. He’d known it the minute he’d set eyes on her. Cole was just a stubborn bastard. But Jessa had quickly figured out exactly how to take him down.
She turned as Burke closed the door to their suite. “Is it okay if I use the bathroom first?”
He practically laughed. She looked so soft and sweet. She was perfect, and right now she was perfectly scared.
He pulled her into his arms. The minute he drew her close, she softened against him. “Yes, sweetheart. Take all the time you want. If you want to wait, we’ll wait. We can still go out, you know. Nothing has to happen right now.”
“Burke is right, Jessa. Nothing has to happen at all. We’re not going to be mad,” Cole assured, his voice low.
“I’ll be mad.” Jessa frowned, turning her face up to his. “I’ll be very mad. I was promised sex.”
He kissed the tip of her nose. “I think we can handle that.”
She nodded and pulled away. “I just want to freshen up is all. Give me a couple of minutes. I promise you that I want this. I want you both.”
She disappeared into the bathroom.
“This is a bad idea.” Cole was always the voice of doom.
“Shut up, Eeyore. She’s made her decision.” Burke looked at his brother with a sigh. “I really like this girl.”
“You think I don’t?” Cole challenged. “I’m crazy about her. I don’t think I’ve ever…”
Cole didn’t finish his sentence, but he didn’t have to. Burke understood precisely how he felt. He felt it, too. Jessa was special. In fact, she just might be the one. The ease with which she’d handled Cole’s withdrawal into himself proved it. She understood and accepted that they were a strange package deal. Burke couldn’t remember a time when he hadn’t had his brother to rely on—and in many ways to take care of. Cole was more thoughtful, but he brooded. He’d let their fucker of an uncle crawl in his head, and he carried scars on his heart. Burke often had to pull him out of the darkness. Maybe Jessa could finally convince his brother that he was not only worthwhile, but perfect.
Of course, Cole was the one who had Burke’s back and had risked everything to
save him in Afghanistan. Cole was the one who had taken care of his ass, leaving his own military career behind when Burke had taken an IED. Burke might be more functional, more charming, but he couldn’t do much without his brother.
“I know the timing sucks,” Burke offered.
“We have a meeting soon where we’re basically buying a human being. These people are dangerous.”
“We’re saving a girl. We’re not the bad guys here.” And he wasn’t about to let the best thing that had happened to them slip through their fingers. Jessa didn’t have anything to do with their undercover work. They would catch the bad guys, save the girls, then come back and claim their own woman. End of story.
“And what happens if we find out Alea has already been transported to South America? You know it’s unlikely that she’s still in New York. We have to find her. We owe it to her cousins. Fuck. We owe it to her.”
That was Cole in a nutshell. He wanted to save the whole fucking world. He might be dark, but he truly believed in the light. “We’ll find Alea and bring down Delgado, but I want Jessa. Don’t we get some reward for all the shit we do? Doesn’t the universe owe us one little slice of happiness? A goddamn future?”
He knew it sounded selfish, but he had to believe that the battles he’d fought for his country and his fellow man would net him a little happiness. He needed to believe that one day he could lay down his gun and sink into a happy marriage and family, even if his picket fence didn’t look all Normal Rockwell.
“Hey.” Cole put a hand on his shoulder. “I understand. I want her as much as you do. I want her so fucking bad. But I’m scared. I don’t think I can change. I need some dark stuff. Maybe not tonight, but sooner or later.” He paused. “I don’t want to hurt her. I’ll leave her to you. I’ll handle the business, and you can be happy.”
Always the damn martyr. “I don’t—”
“What about what I want?” Jessa asked.
Burke turned and saw her standing in the bathroom door wearing nothing but the luxurious robe the hotel provided. Her auburn hair lay against the soft white velour. She’d tied the robe at the waist, but it still gaped, showing porcelain skin and the hint of round breasts.
Their Virgin’s Secret, Masters of Menage, Book 2 Page 5