“No, I’m not!” I shouted. “I’m staying here until I can go home at the end of the week and sleep in my own bed—”
“I like where this is heading,” he cut in.
Tanner made a choking sound.
I stepped forward. “By myself. I’m going home at the end of the week. By myself.”
He quirked a brow. “We’ll see.”
Anger flashed through me hotly. “We won’t see crap. You’re not—”
“Okay. Let’s all take a breather.” Tanner had stood, holding up his hands. “No matter where Brighton decides to go at the end of the week, I am sure that she is not in any danger here. Aric is dead, and if what he said was true, which is unlikely, no Summer fae would seek to harm her, especially not here.”
“I will rip the skin from any fae who even has the smallest inkling of looking at her in a way I do not like,” Caden bit out.
My eyes widened. “That’s a bit excessive.”
Caden didn’t take his gaze from me. “That’s your opinion.”
My hands curled into fists. “That’s a mentally healthy opinion.”
“You know damn well that it’s not excessive,” he all but growled.
“If you’re worried about Brighton’s safety, I’m sure that Ivy or even Faye would be willing to stay with her after she leaves. I will also make sure she’s watched while here,” Tanner tried again, and Faye nodded while I bristled at the idea of being under surveillance, even if necessary.
“I will make sure she is safe here,” Caden replied.
Tanner appeared beyond flustered. “I mean this with all due respect, my King, I know that Brighton is important to you, but you must think about how this will look to Tatiana and her brother.”
Caden’s head snapped in his direction. “Do I appear as if I remotely care how it looks?”
The breath I took was as sharp as the one I knew Tanner inhaled. “You should care,” I told him, and I had no idea how he didn’t crack his neck with how fast he turned those furious eyes on me.
I had a feeling that whatever was about to come out of his mouth would be tantamount to me taking out an ad announcing that I was his mortuus.
Thank God that Faye spoke when she did. “Not to interrupt this very awkward conversation, but a Summer fae wanting the Queen to enter the human world? Do you really think one of our own would be working with Aric? With the Winter fae?”
“As if it hasn’t happened before,” Caden snapped. “Let’s not forget that Aric was one of my closest confidants. He was my Knight. So, it’s not just possible, it’s extremely likely.”
Chapter 5
I hadn’t believed that Aric had lied, but knowing that Caden saw it as highly likely was like watching a pall of death settle over the normally warm hotel.
Tanner was in shock. I couldn’t blame him. Faye looked as if she wanted to start a Fae Inquisition, and Caden looked like…
Well, I was doing my best not to see what he looked like by studiously ignoring him. Wasn’t exactly doing much since I didn’t need to see him to know that he was mad. His fury was in every clipped response and the tension that bled from him. I didn’t know what he was angrier about—that someone in his own Court had betrayed him, or that I had pushed back on the idea of him staying with me.
There was no way I could allow that to happen.
I kept trying to leave while Tanner and Faye discussed who the traitor could be. Still, every time I moved an inch, either Faye would ask if there was anything else I could remember, or Caden sent me a look that froze me in my tracks.
Which caused my irritation to skyrocket to uncharted territories. I would’ve loved for Caden to stay with me. For him to be there with me. But that was beside the point. Even if things were hunky-dory between us, I wouldn’t be cool with his high-handed attitude. I had a say in this. The final say. And he needed to get that through his thick, albeit sexy, skull.
Finally, after it was agreed that Kalen, another fae, and Ren and Ivy would be advised about the potential traitor in our midst, Tanner and Faye headed for the door. It had also been decided that it would be best to keep the knowledge of Caden’s ability to open the gateway limited to those in the room. As Tanner had said, there was no need to cause undue distrust and weaken the fledgling bond between the Summer fae and the Order…if one could call the sliver of a thread brought about by an agreement to work together a bond.
I rose, my gaze fixed on the door as if it were a lifeline. It was far past time to act like the entire future of the human and fae race, of our child, depended on us—or me—making the right choice. Our child. Those words caused my heart to start pounding. I made it about two steps.
“Brighton.”
A tiny, childish part of me wanted to pretend as if I hadn’t heard him. I was a lot of things, but a coward wasn’t one of them. I stopped.
Okay. Maybe I was a little bit cowardly, because I didn’t face him. I could feel him though. He couldn’t be standing more than a few feet behind me.
“Talk to me.”
“About what?”
“Don’t pretend that you don’t know.” He was closer now. I could practically feel his heat against my back, and it took everything in me not to turn around and throw my arms around him. To revel in that warmth and comfort once more.
I stayed where I was. “Maybe I just don’t want to talk about what I know you want to discuss.”
“And maybe I don’t want to stand here and talk to the back of your head, but that’s what I’m doing.”
“You stopped me,” I pointed out.
There was a beat of silence. “What is going on, Brighton?”
Sighing, I faced him because he didn’t deserve to talk to my haphazard ponytail. Even though I’d been sitting in the same room with him, had been in his lap and had been kissing him just a bit ago, I still felt a little breathless when I met his gaze. There was such openness in his striking features, not at all like when I’d first gotten to know him.
“Why are you so resistant to coming home with me or staying with you?” he asked. “You know damn well it’s necessary. If Aric told anyone that you’re my mortuus, you’re in danger.”
My chest hollowed. I didn’t want to be in danger. Not after what I’d gone through, but it wasn’t like my life hadn’t been risky before. As a member of the Order, even one that wasn’t expected to patrol like the other members, I still had a target on my back, as history had proven. “We really don’t know if Aric told this Summer fae traitor anything. It wasn’t like he lived long after realizing what I was.”
“But it’s also not like you killed him the moment after he realized what you meant to me, right?” he challenged.
I hadn’t. “All that means is that we don’t know.”
“And that is why we need to be extra cautious. I will not allow harm to come to you. Not again.” His chin dipped as those fiery eyes met mine. “Never again.”
His words brought forth too much pleasure. “I can protect myself, Caden.”
“Didn’t say you couldn’t, but why should you have to do that by yourself?”
I folded my arms over my chest, mainly to stop myself from looping them around his neck. “Because I always have.”
He took a small, measured step forward. “But things are different. You have me now. You have all of me.”
It felt like a knife being shoved straight into my heart. His words shouldn’t make me feel that way. They should bring me nothing but happiness.
This isn’t fair.
It really wasn’t, but that didn’t change reality. “I don’t want you to protect me,” I forced out, each word stinging and scraping at me. “I don’t want you at my house. I don’t—I don’t want you.”
His brows lifted. That was the only response he showed.
I drew in a shallow, burning breath. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me, but I can’t… I can’t do this with you. I care about you, but I…I don’t want to be with you.”
“You
don’t?” His tone was flat.
Another sharp, piercing stab to the chest as I said, “I don’t love you.”
“Is that so?”
I blinked at the response, unsure how to proceed. I didn’t know how he’d react. Maybe argue? Get mad? Sad? The deadpanned replies threw me off. Would it be this easy? If so, did he even really love me?
It doesn’t matter.
It did, though.
Confused and irritated with myself, I took a step back. “I’m sorry.”
His head tilted slightly. “For what?”
“Everything,” I whispered.
Caden’s jaw tightened. “Are you done now?”
“Done what?”
“Done lying?”
I jolted. “I’m not lying.”
“Bullshit,” he said, and I tensed. “I don’t know what’s going on, but I know there’s something. You’re not telling me something.”
Ice drenched my skin. “I’m telling you how I really feel—”
“And I’m telling you that you don’t even believe the words coming out of your mouth. Neither do I. What you’re saying is not what you want.”
“It—”
“It’s not the truth,” he continued, the fire in his eyes flaming. “I know it’s not.”
I snapped my mouth shut as the walls around me seemed to press in. Was it possible that what he sensed of my emotions could betray me that much? I wasn’t sure, especially since I could barely make sense of everything that I was feeling.
Turning into the coward I didn’t think I was, I said, “I can’t do this right now. I’m really tired and just want to go lay down.”
Caden appeared as if he wished to continue, but after a moment, he said, “This conversation isn’t over, Brighton.”
How I wished that it wasn’t. “But it is,” I whispered, and then I walked out of the room, my heart in tatters.
* * * *
I’d gone straight to my room and climbed into bed, curling onto my side and squeezing my eyes shut against the flood of tears that threatened to burst free.
I hurt. My heart hurt. And I couldn’t think about what I’d just done and how incredibly wrong it’d felt. I forced myself to sleep, thinking that would be better than lying awake and feeling what I did now. So I slept the day and night away. I woke in the morning to find a covered plate of scrambled eggs and toast sitting in the chair Caden had occupied. I’d devoured the food by the time Luce showed to check on me. She was pleased and a bit surprised by how quickly my injuries were healing. I’d asked about the food, thinking she’d had it sent up, but she hadn’t. I tried not to think of who had while I asked if it was possible for Luce to pick me up some prenatal vitamins. Already ahead of me, she pulled a small bottle from the pocket of her white lab coat. According to Luce, a pregnant fae didn’t need the extra vitamins, but considering that I was human, and given the lack of nutrition I’d experienced in the early weeks of pregnancy, she believed it would be wise for me to take them.
I hid them in the dresser drawer.
After, I’d slept for most of the day, waking once when Ivy came to visit and then again in the late afternoon. The first thing I looked at when I opened my eyes was the chair.
Caden wasn’t sitting there, but another covered dish was.
Sitting up far more easily than I had the day before, I lifted the lid and found a warm bowl of soup that smelled of rich, flavorful herbs. There were two slices of thick, toasted bread beside it. My stomach grumbled.
Did Ivy bring this up?
Had it been Caden?
I stared at the food for what felt like a small eternity, just like I had that morning. A sense of unease mingled with the hunger, leaving me vaguely nauseous. Trepidation was acid in my veins. A fine tremor coursed through my arm as I reached for the food. I didn’t realize what I was doing until I caught myself looking around the room, making sure…
Making sure it was empty.
No one was here. No one was going to hurt me. Aric was dead. I was safe.
I still hesitated.
God, I hated this—hated that I associated food with pain now. Eating was…well, it was a favorite pastime of mine. I loved to eat.
Cursing under my breath, I snatched up the plate. Creamy soup sloshed over the side of the bowl. I grabbed the spoon and started hauling the liquid into my mouth, not even slowing down to really enjoy it. I shoveled bread in next, chewing enough that I didn’t choke. Every time thoughts of Caden, Aric, of anything began to creep in, I shoved them aside. By the time the bowl was empty and only crumbs remained on the plate, the unease had faded to a shadow.
I placed my hand on my stomach. I needed to get over this whole food thing. I was eating for two now.
That thought caused a half-hysterical-sounding giggle and a stunning realization. I wanted a family. A husband. A child. It wasn’t something I’d ever really consciously acknowledged, and it wasn’t as if I believed one needed a significant other or offspring to make a family, but that was what I desired. I wanted to give a child what I didn’t have—a father who was alive and not just present or active in a child’s life, but also there. I wanted to be the mother that mine couldn’t be—at no fault of her own. The realization brought forth a wave of aching yearning for what I wanted so badly but could not have.
I waited until I was sure my stomach wasn’t going to revolt and then I rose, leaving the room. I already knew I couldn’t just sit in here like I’d done. If I did, my brain would start going down roads best not traveled. I needed to move around—do something. The faint glow of sunlight still crept under the blinds. Moving to the dresser, I rooted around until I found a cardigan. I slipped it on and then made my way to the first floor. I kept my eyes downcast as I passed fae going in and out of the cafeteria and the common areas. Reaching the glass doors, I looked up as they parted. Cool, early evening air washed over me as I stepped out into a courtyard that was so beautiful it often seemed unreal to me.
I secretly believed that this had to be how the Otherworld looked, at least at some point in time. Tall trees rose up in the deep blue sky. Vines climbed trellises, and a variety of flowers bloomed, unaffected by the chillier temperatures as they scented the air with sweet and musky undertones. Paper lanterns hung from the branches, always lit. String lights crisscrossed over the stone pathway and led to little sitting areas hidden away.
This was a favorite place of mine, and whenever I visited Hotel Good Fae and got the chance to explore the courtyard, I did.
Reaching out, I skimmed my fingers over the slick vines. No matter what I did with my own courtyard, I could never hope for it to look like this. Not even when Mom was still alive. Gardening had seemed to ground her, keeping her in this world. If Caden weren’t correct about my mind being stronger due to the Summer Kiss, maybe I could seek refuge in the garden as well.
God, I hoped he was right. Glancing up at the sky, I prayed that he was. The child I carried in me needed a mother—
“Lite Bright?”
That voice. That name. Heart leaping into my throat, I spun around. “Tink.”
Chapter 6
Standing several feet back on the pathway, the brownie was in his full-sized form. He was well over six feet tall, and even in the fading sunlight, I saw that he looked different. I’d have to be missing my eyeballs not to notice it.
His normally shockingly white hair was a dark brown.
“Your hair!”
He stood there, arms at his sides, and I knew with his vision, he could clearly see my face. “Who cares about my hair right now,” he said, and then he moved.
Tink crossed the distance between us, and in a nanosecond, he swept me up. My feet left the ground as the right side of my cheek was planted to his chest. My ribs and the numerous bruises protested the embrace, but I didn’t say a word as I hugged him back just as tightly.
I’d missed him so much.
Sure, he could be a handful sometimes—okay, most of the time. His short stay with me had turned
into more of a permanent roommate situation, unbeknownst to me. I was constantly tripping over the numerous boxes shipped from Amazon, he almost always left some sort of mess behind, and on more than one occasion, he’d given me a minor heart attack by hiding while in brownie-sized form under the covers or in cabinets. But I’d missed him.
Slowly, he lowered me to my feet and pulled back, keeping his arms around me. His gaze searched my face in the waning light. “I didn’t know.”
“Tink—”
“I was lounging on the beach, drinking super fruity cocktails, getting my suntan on, and enjoying being treated like the last brownie in this world and any other. And I had no idea.” His eyes glistened. “I had no idea this was being done to you.”
My chest ached. “It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not,” he replied softly. “Each time I called and either Ivy or Ren or the King answered, my super-brownie senses told me something was up. But they assured me you were fine, and that the Order had you working on a special project or some shit. I should’ve known better. The Order hardly uses you for anything.”
“Well, that’s not necessarily true…”
“But Fabian told me I shouldn’t worry, and he suggested that we stay longer,” he continued as if I hadn’t spoken. “I believed him. I wanted to believe him, even though I knew something was wrong. I was living my best life, and you were fighting for yours.”
“That’s not your fault.” I gripped the front of his shirt. “They didn’t want you to worry when there was nothing to be done.”
“I get that. I do. That’s the only reason I haven’t killed any of them, including Fabian. And trust me,” he said, voice hardening, “I am more than capable of killing each and every one of them.”
I blinked. Sometimes it was easy to forget that Tink wasn’t just an amusing Otherworlder able to change sizes. He was one of the most powerful Otherworld beings alive, who happened to have an addiction to Amazon Prime, Harry Potter, and Twilight.
“I could’ve done something. I could’ve looked for you. I could’ve found—”
“No one was able to find me. Not even the King until…until he did,” I said, tugging on Tink’s shirt. “You would’ve just been worrying and—”
The Queen: A Wicked Novella Page 5