“She’s having a seizure,” Luce grabbed my shoulders. “No. Not the Ativan. I need—”
Whatever she said was lost in a roar and a burst of a hundred stars. The last thing I saw was Caden staring down at me in shock
And then I saw nothing.
* * * *
The first thing I became aware of was the steady beep of a machine. My head felt as if it were full of cotton balls so I focused on the sound and followed it out of the nothingness. It took a small eternity for me to open my eyes.
A light from somewhere behind me cast a soft, buttery-yellow glow over the room. I thought this was the same room I’d been brought into it, but it was…quieter. Calmer. On the small table was my iron cuff, blade disengaged.
The baby.
I moved my hand to my stomach, wincing at the pull of the IV. I had no idea what I was feeling for. The act seemed instinctual, but it told me nothing. Was the baby okay? My heart turned over heavily as fear hit my veins. It was strange how quickly I’d gone from being shocked and overwhelmed by the idea of having a baby, to desperately wanting that child.
Now it could be all over—gone before I even had a chance to share the news with Caden. And how could it have survived? I had a vague memory of Kalen yelling at me to not drink any more soda. Had I been poisoned? Grief and confusion swirled through me.
“Brighton.”
Slowly, I turned my head to the left. Caden was sitting there, his chin propped on his joined hands. He looked…terrible. His normally smooth hair looked as if he’d dragged his fingers through the strands a hundred times. There were shadows under his eyes, and tension to the set of his lips. A wicked sense of deja vu hit me. It wasn’t all that long ago that we’d found ourselves in a similar situation, but this time was different. The way he looked at me was…. It wasn’t right.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
My lips felt dry as I considered his question. My stomach didn’t hurt, and I wasn’t vomiting. “Okay.” My voice was hoarse. “I think.”
He reached over, picking up a pitcher and pouring a glass of water. “You should drink this.”
I took the water, welcoming the cool rush against my scratchy throat. It helped clear some of the fog that seemed to still fill my brain. I would’ve drunk the entire cup if Caden hadn’t caught the bottom of the glass, tugging it away.
“I think that’s enough for right now.” He placed the cup on the table. “Luce warned that your stomach might be sensitive.”
“What…what happened?”
“You were poisoned.”
I tensed. The baby. “So hearing that said wasn’t a figment of my imagination?”
“No.” He sat forward, hands falling to the space between his knees. “It was done with a flower similar to Pennyroyal found in the Otherworld. Fae often use it as a powder for inflammation or bruises. We believe it was placed in the sodas.”
I tried to process what he was saying. “All of them?”
He nodded. “The rest of the drinks have been pulled and are being tested, but the ones Fabian and Kalen had, also had traces of it.”
“Are they okay?”
“They won’t be affected by such a substance.”
“Because they’re fae?”
A muscle twitched in his jaw. “Because you’re pregnant.”
I drew in a shallow breath, but it went nowhere.
“The flower, when consumed in large quantities, can cause expectant mothers to miscarry,” he continued, his voice strangely flat. “Luce believes it affected you more because you’re mostly human, causing the vomiting and the seizure.” He inhaled deeply. “And she believes that is also why you survived. Someone fully human wouldn’t have. You’ll be weak for a while. You may have more seizures, but she believes that you will recover fully.”
It connected in the back of my mind that he must’ve told Luce about the Summer Kiss, but that didn’t matter at the moment. His features blurred as tears filled my eyes. My brain wasn’t working right. A part of me knew that this wasn’t how I’d wanted Caden to find out. How I’d planned on any conversation about the baby going, but I had to know. Even though I was terrified, I had to know.
“Is the…am I still pregnant?” I whispered.
His eyes closed briefly. “The poison caused you to have contractions, which created a tear and then the bleeding. Luce was able to get the poison out of your system quickly.”
I could feel myself trembling as I tried to brace for the inevitable.
“Once she had you stabilized, she was then able to check on the…on the baby.” His throat worked on a swallow. “Luce didn’t find any tissue in your bleeding. She did an ultrasound—sonography—to check for a heartbeat.” He took a shuddering breath, his eyes meeting mine. “According to Luce, the baby is incredibly strong-willed and determined to be born.”
I blinked once and then twice. “W-what?”
“You didn’t lose the baby. At least, not now,” he explained. “She said it’s a high-risk pregnancy and that you need to be monitored, but she’s cautiously optimistic.”
“I… I’m….” Stunned, I couldn’t find words as disbelief rose. “I’m still pregnant?”
Caden nodded.
Tears welled so fast that I smacked my hands over my face. Relief and happiness turned out to be way more powerful than the crushing dread and fear. I couldn’t believe it. This baby has survived Aric and a poisoning. Strong-willed was an understatement.
“Are those tears of happiness?” Caden asked. “Or disappointment?”
I yanked my hands away from my face. “What?”
“I think it’s a valid question,” he said. “Because I don’t know if you’re happy or sad to know that you’re still pregnant.”
“I’m happy,” I told him, shocked. “Why would you even ask that?”
“Why?” A harsh, short laugh left him. “How would I know what you’re thinking? You’ve known this whole time that you were pregnant. Eleven weeks, actually. Luce was able to confirm definitively, by the way.”
I gave a little shake of my head. “I’m happy. I want this baby—”
“You do?”
“Yes,” I said without hesitation. “I was planning to tell you. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about later.” The cloudy feeling in my head had completely disappeared. “I didn’t tell you, because—”
“Because you were trying to save the world. Yeah, I know. Luce told me.” The tension brackets increased around his mouth and then he rose, turned away.
“Caden—”
“I didn’t know,” he said, voice rough. “I thought I was hearing things when you asked about the baby.” His voice cracked on that word, and I felt it in my heart. “I learned that I was going to be a father at the same time I learned that someone out there knew and tried to kill not only you but also my child.”
“I was trying to do the right thing,” I told him. “I was doing the right thing—”
“I stood there, trying to process that someone had almost killed you and my child,” he cut me off. “And in the midst of watching you nearly die and being unable to do a damn thing, I realized that the only reason Kalen knew to tell you not to drink any more of that soda was because he knew that you were pregnant.”
“I’m sorry. He wasn’t supposed to know. He overheard me telling Tink—”
“I know.” He faced me. “He knew. So did Tanner. So did Faye. Are there any more who are sworn to be loyal to me that knew you were carrying my child?”
“No. They weren’t supposed to know. I told Tink because I had to tell someone—”
“You should’ve told me, Brighton.”
“I wanted to. I did. But I thought that if you knew, it would be harder for us to do the right thing—”
“Doing the right thing never should’ve included you keeping the fact that you were pregnant with my child from me.” His eyes weren’t cool then. They burned with anger. “I get what you were trying to do. Your desire to protect my Cour
t and others is something that I love about you, but this is different.”
“How is it different?” I tried to sit up but found it was harder than expected. Caden snatched a pillow from the counter and shoved it behind my back. “Thank you.”
“That is our child, Brighton. Not just yours. Ours.” After ensuring that I was sitting up easily, he stepped back from the bed. “And our child should matter more than everything else. That’s why it’s different.”
“I agree, Caden, that’s why I needed you to choose a Queen because I didn’t want our child to grow up in a world that was being overrun by Winter fae,” I reasoned, trying to keep my voice calm.
“I chose you as my Queen.”
“But I didn’t know that!” The heart monitor beeped loudly, earning a dangerous look from Caden. I forced myself to calm down. “I didn’t know, and I planned to tell you tonight—”
“You mean last night. You’ve been out for almost twelve hours.”
“Oh,” I whispered.
He shoved a hand through his hair again. “This isn’t the time for this conversation. You need to take it easy—”
“I am taking it easy, and there is no other time we should be having this conversation. I’m sorry, Caden. You have to believe that. I wanted to tell you. If you don’t believe me, you can ask Tink. You can even ask Tanner. I wanted—”
“Then why didn’t you tell me the moment you realized we could be together?” he asked.
“I was just overcome. I knew I should have, but my head was all over the place,” I admitted. “I thought we had time.”
“You thought wrong,” he said, and my gaze flew to his. “If I had known, I could’ve stopped what happened.”
“How?” I asked. “How could you have stopped this? If someone wants me dead, whether or not I’m pregnant won’t change that. You said this flower or whatever would’ve most likely killed me if I hadn’t been given the Summer Kiss.”
“If I had known, I would’ve made sure you weren’t given something that could’ve killed our child.”
“How? Are you going to taste everything I eat and drink?”
“Fuck, yes!” he shouted. “I would taste everything that wasn’t prepared by my hands.”
“And if I wasn’t pregnant, you would’ve been like YOLO then? Let me drink whatever?”
His eyes narrowed. “It would’ve taken a lot more than that to kill you. And no, that doesn’t mean I wasn’t or wouldn’t be worried about someone targeting you, but at least I know that you wouldn’t be easy to kill. Our child is a whole different story.”
I dragged my hand over my face, realizing then that he was a hundred percent serious about tasting my food and drink. “I…I don’t know what to say other than I understand why you’re upset. I do. And I hope you understand why I didn’t say anything. But I’m sorry, Caden. I don’t know what to say to make this better.”
Jaw working, he looked away. “Neither do I.”
My chest squeezed. “What…what does that mean?”
“I don’t know. I really don’t,” he said, and my chest clenched. “If I hadn’t told you that you being with me wouldn’t be a risk, when were you going to tell me?”
“I planned on telling you as soon as you were married—”
“So, you were going to wait until I did what? Moved on from you? Picked a fae?” He took a step toward the bed. “Did you really believe that I would just choose to be with someone else when I knew that you love me? That I would’ve just walked away?”
“Before I knew that I could be with you, that’s what I’d hoped you would do,” I admitted. “I wouldn’t have liked it. I would’ve hated it—loathed every second of it—but it was the right—”
“You can believe all you want that it was the right thing to do. Maybe on a superficial level, it was, but our child changes that. Keeping that knowledge from me was never the right thing. Not when you love me. Not when you know I love you.” He turned, his body stiff. “And the worst part of this is the fact that you really believed I would move on. That I could just happily go and marry someone else.”
“I didn’t think you’d do that happily.”
“But you told Tanner to do whatever was necessary to make sure I married a fae,” he shot back, and I stiffened. “Yes, he told me how the woman I love conspired with others to make sure I ended up with someone else while she was carrying my child.”
It felt like my heart had stopped. “I didn’t conspire. It wasn’t like that. I couldn’t risk the whole world. Not when our child would have to grow up in it.” My hand went to my stomach. “What I was trying to do doesn’t change that I love you, Caden.”
“But you didn’t love me enough to fight for me, did you? You didn’t love me enough to trust that things would be okay.” His jaw hardened. “And you sure as fuck didn’t respect me enough to tell me about our child.”
“Caden—” I started, but the door opened then, revealing Luce. “Can you give us a moment?”
“I don’t think so.” Luce was rocking one hell of a no-nonsense tone and expression. “I’ve been monitoring Brighton’s heart rate and blood pressure remotely, and I apologize, my King. I know you two have a lot to discuss, but we need to keep her heart rate and pressure stable.”
“I’m fine.”
“This is not keeping her stable,” Luce continued as if I hadn’t spoken. “And so soon after everything, this could threaten the pregnancy.”
“You’re right.” Caden folded his arms. “When do you think it will be safe to move her?”
“I think tomorrow will be fine, as long as her stats remain stable, and she’s kept as…” She glanced over at me. “Stress-free as possible.”
“She will be,” barked Caden, and I raised my brows. “I don’t want her here for one second longer than necessary.”
“Understood.”
Caden turned to me. “When we leave tomorrow, you’ll be coming home with me.”
“To your apartment?”
“No. To a place very few are aware of,” he said. “And do not argue with me about this and cause yourself unnecessary stress. Your house is not suitable.”
Too much was happening, and strangely, my brain focused on that statement. “Why is it not suitable?”
“Because too many people know where to find you, and I cannot possibly begin to secure the house,” he replied, turning back to Luce. “Notify me the moment you leave here.”
She nodded.
There was no way he was leaving. “Where are you going?”
Caden didn’t answer. He simply turned around and left the room, closing the door behind him without answering my question.
Without so much as looking at me.
Chapter 15
“He hates me.”
“No, he doesn’t.” Tink patted my arm. He’d followed Luce in, advising that he was on the approved visitation list.
In other words, he was allowed to see me.
I had a feeling that Caden had prohibited everyone else from getting close to me, which was understandable. But Tanner and Faye? Kalen? Ren and Ivy? Fabian? They were the only ones I trusted, but apparently, Caden was taking no chances.
While that should give me some relief because it meant that he still cared, I had a sinking feeling that he was more worried about the baby.
After all, according to him, I wasn’t all that easy to kill. Or whatever.
“You don’t understand, Tink.” I sighed as Luce came over to check my blood pressure. “He feels betrayed, and I can’t blame him. Not really.”
“Neither can I,” he agreed. “But I think he just needs time. He knows you were trying to do the right thing.”
I nodded.
“He was dealt one hell of a shock, learning he was a baby daddy while you were vomiting up your guts and seizing,” Tink pointed out as bluntly as possible. “I imagine most expect to learn that kind of news in any other way than how the King learned it.”
“I know. It’s just…” I could st
ill hear him saying that I hadn’t loved him enough. That wasn’t true. It was the exact opposite. I loved him enough to not be the source of his downfall, and I loved our child enough to do everything to bring him or her up in a world that was stable.
Well, as stable as it could be.
“Is everything still okay?” I asked as Luce placed the cuff on the counter.
“All of your stats look good.” Luce came back to the bed. “I’ll check the hormone levels in the blood I just took, and then I’ll take some more blood tomorrow. If you were to start to miscarry, we’d see those hormone numbers going down.”
My stomach dipped. “Do you think there’s still a chance that I could lose the baby?”
“The pregnancy is considered threatened, so yes, there is a chance. But you’re different, Brighton. You’re not entirely human.” Her pale eyes narrowed on me. “Which would’ve been something useful to know when I first examined you.”
“Hey.” Tink lifted his hands. “She didn’t even tell me.” He slid me a look. “Hussy.”
I sighed once more. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was something I was supposed to share, and in my defense, a whole lot of shit has been happening. I obviously haven’t been making the best decisions.”
“That’s an understatement,” Tink muttered under his breath as he leaned back in the chair.
I ignored that.
“Learning that you were given the Summer Kiss explains why you’ve been healing so well from your previous injuries,” Luce went on. “Since you were given it before conception, it probably aided with that too. That’s got to have something to do with the child being so resilient, but I can’t be sure. I’ve never met a human who’s been given the Summer Kiss.” Her brow puckered. “But you stopped bleeding last night, so that’s great news. You haven’t been experiencing any more cramping or nausea, right?”
I nodded. “I feel normal-ish. My stomach is a little sore, and I feel like I just got over the flu or something.”
She nodded. “That’s normal. It appears your body is…well, repairing the damage. And to be honest, that is not something that would normally happen. Not even for a female fae who’d been given this poison.”
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