Hailey broke away from him, looking shell-shocked. She backed toward the towel then fell to her knees trying to reach for it. Without looking, she curled her fingers in the fabric and hugged it to her chest. Not for cover but for comfort.
He was taken aback by her reaction, about to go into her mind to gauge her sincerity but her next words stopped him cold.
“You … say I’m not an animal. But you cooled off mighty quick when I reminded you I’m not exactly human.” Bitter self-loathing filled her eyes when she raised them to look at him again. “Better than a bucket of icy water.”
He opened his mouth to argue but she cut him off. “Say all the pretty lies you need,” she said, picking herself up from the floor. “You can even make yourself believe them. But don’t insult my intelligence. We both know that the only reason you’re not pinning me down and shoving inside me—and don’t even try to tell me you didn’t want to—is that there is something seriously wrong with me. Doesn’t it just suck when reality doesn’t live up to your dreams?”
The barb hit its mark with deadly accuracy. He winced. She would bring that up. And he’d given her no reason to think otherwise. Without looking into her thoughts he knew what she had to be thinking. Good enough as an idea but not in reality. “Hailey—”
“I get it, okay?” She wrapped the towel around herself. “You don’t have to worry. I won’t throw my offensive self at you again.”
From out of her mind with lust, to shock, to fury, the transformation was so quick Jeremy wanted to call her bluff. Sneer and tell her to grow the hell up. Except … she really believed what she was saying. He could see now the change he’d been too distracted to notice earlier, the way her own instincts had caught her off guard, allowed a lot more of her leopard to the fore where it couldn’t be so easily controlled.
While anyone else would have buckled or fought, Hailey had used it, turned it into a test—for her. She’d wanted to prove that no matter what the cat made her feel or think, she was still Hailey, and she could own her actions. And in her mind, she’d failed. Jeremy had just reminded her of everything she’d been trying to make herself forget. So instead of berating her he now felt like punching the wall.
*
Hailey didn’t slam the bathroom door behind her. That would have taken more ire than she possessed right now. What the hell had gotten into her? What could she possibly have been thinking to make her do that?
She knew the answer. She hadn’t been thinking. Sometime after Jeremy had left she’d found herself staring at the computer screen with no idea what she was looking at. Text and numbers flashed across, scrolling so fast they were a blur. And all she could think was, Shiny.
Not her best moment so far. She’d freaked out so bad that she’d nearly dropped the computer on the floor.
The cold shower had helped, though. Sort of.
But then she’d come out just as he had burst in and it had all gone downhill from there. Hailey groaned and tugged at her hair in frustration. From all appearances, Tristan Hunt was a successful shifter experiment. He could function like a proper human being and the animal inside him only provided added strength and heightened senses. He certainly never lost it on a big scale. He lived his life—married, no less, with twins on the way—without a care in the world.
Why couldn’t Hailey?
Maybe the difference was self-control. She felt her face heat up. Or her glaring lack thereof. Had to be mating season for snow leopards. Yeah, that had to be it.
She dropped the towel in the corner to be washed and padded to her bag for fresh clothes. Not a dress this time. No, she needed the safety of a confining pair of pants and several layers of shirts. Maybe a jacket. She’d be hot but at least it would keep her from wanting to rub herself all over an unsuspecting telepath agent.
Hailey brushed the tangles out of her wet hair and braided it tightly so it wouldn’t fly all over while it dried. Control, that was the ticket. Maybe if she controlled the little things, the big things wouldn’t get out of hand so easily.
All finished with her grooming, Hailey eyed the closed door. She didn’t want to leave the room. But she’d left her computer out there.
Just then, Jeremy knocked, startling her. She didn’t answer, just sat on the edge of her bed and watched the handle to make sure it didn’t move.
Nothing.
Another knock. “Hailey.”
She kept quiet. Stealth. Couldn’t find fault with it.
She heard him sigh and it sounded as if he’d leaned his forehead against the door. “I’m about to call down to room service for food. What do you want?”
Meat, was her first thought. Hailey squeezed her eyes shut and forced herself to think about it a little more. Meat, yes. She could go for a nice steak. And this time it wasn’t a thoughtless growl in her mind. It was a genuine preference to a type of food. To that she added a baked potato, a fruit cup, and fresh fruit juice. Mango.
Her mouth watered at the thought of freshly cooked food. She’d bet they had top-notch chefs in the kitchen. How long had it been since Hailey had had a meal that hadn’t been nuked into existence?
Ever since I’d grown fangs at the sight of steak tartare in that restaurant on Earth.
So, about two months.
She checked her teeth. Nope, no fangs yet. She was proud of herself and it made her want to smile. “Did you get all that?” she called.
“Got it,” he said and she heard him move away from the door. A few minutes later, “They said fifteen minutes to half an hour.”
“Got it,” she replied and let herself fall back on the bed with a contented sigh. Food. Good. Food was yummy. She liked food. It made her strong and helped her think—about something other than stripping down and rolling around in the snow, or stripping down and rolling around with the telepath…
That was good, too.
Or it might be if she wasn’t a freak and he wasn’t so painfully aware of just how much a freak she really was. If he was anything like the man in her dream, Hailey might just risk embracing her animalistic needs and jump him.
But then he’d probably run screaming…
Not good.
Hailey shook herself and darted for the door. She needed a distraction and right now her computer and the telepath were all she had. It would have to be one or the other.
Chapter Eight
She was melting. She was… Oh, sweet God, she was dead and this was heaven. Hailey hadn’t seen such bounty in months except from across a windowpane. She wanted to roll around in it and stuff her face with her bare hands and make a giant mess.
She glanced warily at Jeremy to see if he’d caught that, but he wasn’t even paying attention to her. Just to be sure, she narrowed her eyes at him. “Exactly how often do you let yourself into other people’s minds?”
He raised an eyebrow, finally looking up at her. But instead of answering all he said was, “Eat, Hailey. I can hear your stomach growling from here.”
Oh, she wanted to. Room service had brought what she’d asked for and so much more. There was a mountain of food spread out over the long dining table and she didn’t trust herself to behave like a lady. Her mouth was watering like crazy, her teeth ached, her hands were curled on her thighs under the table.
If it had been just her she wouldn’t have cared about manners. But apparently she’d retained just enough humanity to feel self-conscious with someone else in the room. She always made a pig of herself the first few meals after a full change. And that was cheap, prepackaged deli food. This was real food that she didn’t have to force herself to chew and swallow.
This is amazing!
“Did you change your mind about that steak?”
Hailey blinked at him then stared blankly at the juicy piece of meat on the plate in front of her. It was perfectly cooked, on a clean white plate, with some sort of heavenly smelling dark sauce drizzled all around and one single leaf of lettuce as a garnish. Short of picking it up with her hands and biting into it like a s
avage, she was at a loss as to what to do with it.
“Here,” he said. He wiped his hands and mouth on his linen napkin and moved his chair closer to hers. He took her utensils and began cutting the meat into small, chewable pieces. Hailey nearly swooned at the sight. The meat was beautifully brown on the outside and succulent pink on the inside.
“I-I can do it,” she said and even to herself she sounded as if she was in a trance.
The knife stopped midcut and all she saw was his hold on it loosening and moving aside so she could take the handle from him. Her hands shook a little when she assumed possession of the utensils.
Easy now. Start slow. Just one bite. Simple enough, right? Just push the fork into that small piece there … or maybe that bigger one over there, and put it in your mouth.
The instructions she gave herself helped. She speared a piece of the steak and slowly brought it to her mouth. Her eyes rolled back in her head when it touched her tongue. Hailey made herself chew it for a long time to savor the taste before she swallowed the morsel. Only then did she fork another one.
“Good?” Jeremy asked, watching her with a small smile playing on his lips.
“Uhh-hhmmm.”
He grinned bigger. “I’m glad.”
He kept talking, presumably to keep the conversation going, one-sided though it was, but his voice sort of trailed off into a hum. Hailey didn’t see or hear him anymore, her focus trained on the food and the food alone. Thankfully she kept her hands curled safely around the utensils, which kept her from reaching out with her bare hands.
The more she ate the better she felt. More like herself again. If it turned out that all she’d ever needed to keep the animal at bay was good food she might just hurt somebody.
The steak and baked potato were followed by half a plate of greens, then the fruit cup. After that was gone she spotted a dessert platter farther down the table. As if by magic, it floated up and settled in front of her. She ate two tiny raspberry cups and three of those delicious chocolate minicakes. There was ice cream, too.
Finally sated, she leaned back in her seat with a sigh and her tunnel vision cleared. She blinked at the table, her hands, and the linen napkin in her lap. No mess. Not even a bread crumb anywhere.
Baffled, she looked to Jeremy for confirmation.
“Feel better?” he asked.
There was no word to describe how good she felt. Content was too tame. Human was too trite. Happy—given that she was still about to die, that one was going a bit far. She felt like smiling and dancing and going out among people to just talk to them. Not smell them, or snarl at them, or skulk in shadows. “Thank you,” she said, and that seemed too weak a phrase to fully carry her meaning.
Jeremy graciously inclined his head. “My pleasure.”
Hailey drew the napkin from her lap and dabbed at her mouth. It came away clean. Another miracle.
“By the way,” Jeremy said, “your computer beeped while you were eating. There was some sort of message on the screen but I don’t have a clue what it is so I didn’t touch it.”
Hailey was on her feet and darting for her computer before he’d even finished talking. The screen was flashing green and the message was a Code 2319.
“So what’s it mean?” Jeremy asked from behind her.
“It means the formula has finished aggregating,” she said, not trusting herself to okay the message and actually look at the results.
“Well? What are you waiting for, then?”
He had a point. Hailey acknowledged the code and the green flashing disappeared. A clear white screen appeared, with a long formula that took up several lines. It was the same one she’d been working on all this time except this one had integrated all the variables and compounds compatible with her two DNA strands—the last unknown she’d needed.
But her eager smile faded as she read the results and the notes generated by the program on the side. Like a cooking recipe, it gave her the end result—the formula—and the sequence of activities needed to achieve it—the notes on the side.
“Something wrong?”
Hailey tried not to sound disappointed when she answered, “It’s pretty much what I expected.” In order to fix what was broken Hailey would have to obtain a small volume of the original compound she’d injected herself with in the beginning. It was part of the solution and she wouldn’t be able to fix herself without it.
The only problem was that there was only one place where she could find that compound, or recreate it. She’d really been hoping to avoid having to go back.
Whether he’d read her mind or just guessed at what was bothering her, Jeremy said, “It won’t be as bad as you’re imagining. Things rarely are.”
“So what’s your guess? Cage, leash, or just a straight-on tranq dart?”
“How about none of the above? Isn’t that an option?”
Hailey twisted to look back and up at him. “You really haven’t known my sister long, have you?”
Jeremy glared. “Should we start packing?”
She turned back to the computer screen. “Not yet.” She saved the formula, backed it up a couple of times to be sure, and then turned the computer off. “I’m not ready to move into a lab just yet.”
“Hailey—”
“It’s my life. And I’ll live it as I see fit. Tonight I want to go out.” She looked him over and almost felt pity for him. “From the looks of you, you could use some down time yourself.”
*
Jeremy kept a respectable distance from Hailey as they walked but he stayed close enough to be able to take her hand in his and steer her another way if need be. She’d dressed in a pair of black leather pants and a shimmery silver strappy top … thing, both so tight as to be nearly nonexistent. Her high-heeled boots brought her almost to his height and did some amazing things to her legs and ass.
She hadn’t even needed to think about what to wear. Just pulled out the first items that met her fingers when she’d reached into her bag. And damn it was a good look for her. He’d tried to get her to put on the trench coat, hoping that he wouldn’t notice her so much if she was all covered up, but she’d refused. It was summer here and Hailey, or rather the animal side of her, overheated easily. Understandable in a creature meant for cold, harsh climates. But that didn’t make this any easier on him.
The streetlights in this town shone bluish white, which made her hair gleam like snow. She’d also done something to it to make it shimmery to match her top. It should have looked strange; instead, Hailey looked otherworldly, ethereal. Stunning, and utterly untouchable.
They should have stayed at the hotel.
But as soon as Hailey stepped foot outside, her superhearing picked up something in the distance and she headed toward it without a backward glance. Quick footsteps, as long as she could manage with her heels, just short of breaking into a run. And the closer they got to the source of the sound the more Jeremy resigned himself to his fate this night.
They were headed toward the Midnight Parade, as the locals called it. A procession from the beginning to the end of Main Street with live music, dancing, and lots of scantily clad individuals. There were bound to be drugs and alcohol passed out freely to the crowd.
It was the kind of thing Jeremy usually went out of his way to avoid. Crowds were not a comfortable place for a telepath to be. Yet he only had to look at Hailey’s smile growing brighter with every step to know she needed this.
“Look!” she said, pointing forward.
Yep, there was the river of people. Jeremy scowled. Most of the ones he could see were nearly naked. Oh, this would be fun…
Hailey looked at him with something akin to sympathy. Or maybe it was pity for his impending doom. Then she laughed excitedly and picked up her step even more. Jeremy had no choice but to follow along or risk losing her in that madness. For both their sakes he stayed close.
In that throng, the music was deafening and he quickly gave up on trying to talk or listen to what others were shouting at
him.
“Come on,” Hailey yelled. He only saw her mouth move; the words never registered in his ears. He caught her hand in his before she could slip away, and held on for dear life.
The procession went on forever. Jeremy got squashed, shoved, groped, tripped, and he was pretty sure there had been a proposition or two. He touched body parts on strangers he never wanted to feel again but the sight of Hailey in complete abandon, carefree and happy made it all worth it.
She looped her arm through his and hugged it to her side; people around them eased away. Hailey touched his shoulder to get his attention to show him something and instead of being horrified at what he saw, he felt at ease with her next to him. Or as at ease as he could feel in this crush of drugged-out minds. When she smiled at him—well, laughed at him, really—he wanted to laugh with her.
She danced and space cleared around them as if by magic. She pulled him into the moves and he felt like a part of everything, instead of apart from it. Jeremy knew that was because of her. For some reason he couldn’t fathom, she wanted him to feel included. Against all odds, he was actually having fun.
At one point she put her free hand on his waist and leaned into him to say something in his ear. He didn’t hear her voice but the idea made it through his mental shields: “Is this your worst nightmare or what, Agent Serious?”
Jeremy grinned and put his arm around her because he couldn’t not.
Hailey stiffened and drew back, meeting his gaze. Her eyes were wide, shocked. Her head whipped around to scan the crowd and Jeremy could feel the tremor that went through her.
“What is it?” he asked, already knowing she wouldn’t hear him. “What is it?” he repeated, making it a thought in her mind this time.
She turned back to him, still with that same look in her eyes, only this time he could discern a mixture of fear and anger. Hailey opened her mouth to say something then seemed to change her mind. Her fingers curled, sharp claws digging into his side. Not enough to pierce skin; just enough to let him know something was wrong.
Blood Trails Page 9