by JP Summers
Before hanging up, Cruz mentioned the person bringing the firewood would be here any minute. A bit relieved I wouldn’t be by myself for too much longer, I decided to pass the time by watching a movie on the huge flat-screen TV in the gigantic living room. I sorted through the
DVD´s on the bookshelves before finding one I hadn’t seen in ages. As usual, I fast-forwarded through all the previews to get to the movie. I loathe watching previews.
I put on the surround sound to get the full effect and felt like I was in a movie theater. Even the overstuffed sofa vibrated as the bass filled the living room. All I need is some licorice and popcorn.
The opening scene of the movie danced across the screen. The loud reverberations tickled my inner ear sending tingles to my brain. It slipped my mind that I should have been watching out for the delivery person. Suddenly, I felt a chill in the air. The firewood had showed up in the hands of someone I had tried so hard to forget.
Son-of-a-bitch!
My stomach plummeted into my feet. I frantically searched for the remote as the rest of my body remained rooted to the sofa in total shock. I’m pretty sure my jaw hit the floor.
There I was, face-to-face with the one person who had known every single thing about me.
Like a dam breaking, every painful memory that I had tamped down in my heart flooded throughout my insides until I couldn’t breathe anymore. Bile danced around in my throat. I wanted to vomit.
His initial shock turned to rage the second he recognized me. My eyes and hair color were the only things on me that hadn’t changed since high school. The stress of the past five years had settled across my forehead, carving deep lines into my once smooth skin. My formerly athletic body was no longer toned because I had lost so much weight.
This is definitely not how I imagined looking the first time we would see each other after all this time.
Carson, my former best friend and the love of my life, threw the firewood down with a crash. I jumped up from the sofa. The look of rage on his face made it obvious he was still hanging onto his anger toward me, even after all of these years. We should be embracing each other and apologizing for the way things ended between us. Instead, he stood next to the fireplace as the reflection from the fire danced in his eyes, mimicking the anger that burned behind them.
I so desperately wanted Carson to know it was great to see him after all this time, but the words tangled themselves around my anxious vocal chords.
The silence grew more uncomfortable by the minute. Steam practically erupted out of Carson’s ears. He fiercely ripped his knitted cap off his head, twisting the fabric in his hands. Hatred and contempt glowed in his eyes.
“I can’t fucking believe Cruz! How dare he not tell me you’d be here?” he fumed before he turned around and abruptly walked out the door.
I wrapped my arms around my stomach trying to stop myself from falling down another shame spiral. Carson had already damaged me enough in the past. But wounds I thought I had mentally bandaged for the sake of my sanity suddenly reopened, leaving me raw and gasping for breath.
Stomping back through the living room leaving a trail of snow behind him, he threw more wood by the fireplace as he continued his rant. “You would think Cruz would know better than to pull something this shitty on me.”
That was it! I wasn’t going to give Carson the satisfaction of thinking he was the only one deceived about this unexpected arrangement. Of course I was pissed about it too.
Determined not to show how flustered I was, I pointed out, “I’m just as stunned as you are about this.”
My words didn’t faze him. He just went back outside and came back in with more firewood. How immature! He was acting like a child giving me the cold shoulder.
After watching him make a few trips in and out of the house, I asked, “Are you almost done? I’d like to get back to the movie I was watching before I was so rudely interrupted.”
Carson’s head whipped around. He glared at me. “I have a few more bundles and then I’m getting the hell out of here.”
“What the fuck ever!” I yelled as he walked back outside.
Blood boiled in my veins as I turned the surround sound back on and continued watching my movie. I sat with my arms crossed and my feet tucked underneath me as Carson made another trip inside with the firewood. Would he just finish stockpiling the logs and get the hell out of here already!
It didn’t take long for him to stand in front of the TV to distract me from my movie. I jumped up from the sofa. “What do you want now?”
Before he could piss me off any more, I turned my back to him and stomped towards the kitchen. He followed right behind me. Carson apparently wanted my full attention and was going to find a way to get it. Feeling the infuriating weight of his presence around me, I tried my best to ignore him and made myself another cocktail—much stronger than the one before.
“I always knew you’d turn into a raging alcoholic,” he remarked crudely.
I wanted to slap him in his face, or spit in it. Instead I maintained all the dignity I had left in me and walked away. His flaring nostrils and amped up breathing signaled Carson had a few more choice words for me. The room was thick with revulsion and hate. I could tell he couldn’t wait to hurl more enraged insults that would pick apart my wounded heart and tattered soul.
Carson didn’t waste any time. He followed me into the dining room, spitting,
“I’m not stupid, Matia!” The use of my given name hit me like a slap in the face. “I know this was your pathetic little plan to get us to talk again. You begged Cruz to have me come out for the weekend once you found out I moved back home.”
Agitated at his remark, I snapped back, “I agree with you, Carson. You’re definitely not stupid, but you ARE a fucking idiot! I honestly had no idea you moved back home. Why would you even think I would give a damn about being around you after all this time? You were the one who decided our friendship was a waste of your time and dissolved it without even asking what I wanted.”
“I’m not allowing you to fuck with me anymore than you already have. I’ll thank Cruz for the invite, but hell will have to freeze over before I waste any more time on you.” Carson turned his back on me and marched toward the door.
“I hope hell does freeze over! Then it would mean you got your shit straight and finally realized I wasn’t the only one who fucked things up between us,” I yelled out before he had a chance to walk outside.
Carson shoved his knitted hat back onto his dim-witted skull. His hand reached for the doorknob, then hesitated. His back slouched over as he dropped his head down to stare at the floor. The only sounds in the room were the wind whistling and the fire crackling.
A minute later he snapped out of whatever trance had gotten hold of him, quickly opened the door, then slammed it shut behind him. Just like that, he was gone. Another reminder of the last time I saw him. Leaving me to reel in a sea of emotions wishing I could feel numb instead of experience the pain his rejection once again inflicted on me.
Enraged, I dialed Mira’s cell to give her a piece of my mind. Tears welled in the corner of my eyes out of frustration and resentment towards Carson. Without even saying hello I heard her playful tone remark, “So I take it our firewood and your present showed up?”
In no mood for her sense of humor I bluntly replied, “Yes it did and, surprise, surprise, the delivery man looked a hell of a lot like Carson Rodriguez from New Holston High.”
“I knew you wouldn’t agree to come skiing if I told you we all thought inviting Carson up here would be okay. Cruz ran into him a few weeks ago. They got to talking about the nasty divorce he’s going through with Erin. Please don't be mad at us. All we wanted to do was help the two of you patch things up and we figured there was no better way for that to happen then on your twenty-third birthday,” Mira admitted.
“It’s too late for reconciling. Carson just took off after we exchanged some pretty harsh words,” I retorted. “I’m surprised that you, my bes
t friend, would think that this hare-brained scheme would work. Obviously, all that sex with Cruz has gone to your head.”
A faint knock at the front door stalled my conversation. I walked toward the door keeping Mira on the other line while I cautiously opened it to see Carson standing there with his head down. There was no way of knowing whether he wanted to pull out the knife he had just stabbed me in the back with or just finish the job he had started five years ago.
A disappointed sigh escaped him, “There are several trees down with no way to remove them. I’m stuck here until the guys can help me get them out of the way.”
My heart raced with the realization that my luck was about to go from bad to worse. It’s like nature took it upon itself to finish Mira and Cruz’s dirty work by making Carson stay a little longer. It didn't look like either one of us would be able to escape the man-made storm brewing between us.
Everyone knows it’s always calm before a storm releases its fury on everything in its path. Before it unleashes a massive wave of destruction, leaving nothing but pieces behind. I was not sure what the emotional aftermath of this situation would be. I prayed I wouldn’t endure the same amount of pain as the high school girl inside did when she fell hopelessly and irrevocably in love with her best friend, without realizing it’d eventually damage every fiber of her being.
I backed away from Carson as he walked into the living room. He removed his hat, unwrapped his striped scarf from around his neck, and took off his gray coat. Then he sat down without saying a word to me. It appears I now have company for who knows how long. It’s like I was in a room with a complete stranger. I knew nothing about this man who had aged just as badly, if not worse, than I had.
Mira was still on the phone line as I continued. “Carson came back because there are trees down in the driveway, blocking him from leaving.” She didn’t respond, but I could hear muffled sounds in the background, which sounded like an argument going on between a few people.
I called out to Mira, but she didn't answer me back. Then I heard Cruz, who must have taken her phone. “The highway patrol refuses to let us leave. They’re now blocking off the exits because the strong winds are causing trees to collapse and cover some of the slopes.”
He inhaled and then continued. “They said there’s no way anyone can go in or out of the road leading to the cottage and that we’ll have to spend the night in town.”
My heart sank. How could something like this happen? Not only did it sound like I was stranded, I would be stranded with Carson for God knows how long. The weatherman was going to get a nasty email from me as soon as I pulled out my laptop.
I didn’t recognize the tiny voice that must have come from me as it asked, “How long do they think it’s going to be before they’re going to let anyone out of town?”
Carson immediately jumped up from the sofa—apparently he overheard the conversation. The panicked look on his face must have matched mine. We both stood still as statues while Cruz continued to give me more dreadful news.
Apparently, the worst part about this storm was just beginning. The area was expecting to get at least two feet of snow before morning with another possible foot by tomorrow night.
“Let me talk to Cruz,” Carson interrupted. I handed him my phone, stone-faced. Carson’s expression was hard to read as I assumed Cruz filled him in on the current situation and how they were going to have to stay overnight in town. I wasn't thrilled about being alone with Carson.
He handed the phone back to me and walked toward the window, where he stood looking out. I listened to Cruz apologize over and over for thinking inviting Carson was a good idea. What difference does it make now? Neither one of us can run out of here, no matter how much we want to.
“Keep your chin up. Things could be much worse,” Cruz muttered.
“Yeah, right. I’ll let you know when I think of something,” I replied drily.
I disconnected, not knowing how to deal with the hell I’d been involuntarily thrown into. This might have been an ideal situation if we actually got along. However, we had nothing decent to say to one another. I couldn’t be civil around someone who despised me so much that the hair on the back of my neck stood up and chills went down my spine every time he glanced at me.
I went back into the kitchen only to discover that the dinner I had made was cold. I was starving and really needed to eat something before the vodka turned me into a woman capable of physically harming the asshole. With a burst of bravery, I called to Carson in my best “don’t fuck with me” voice, “If you stay out of my way, I’ll stay out of yours.”
I leaned past the kitchen counter, peeking into the living room just in time to catch Carson’s raised brow and fuming demeanor as he machine-gunned his response, “Don't worry, I’m not planning on being in your way. Besides, I’d honestly rather be outside dealing with the freezing temps than with you.” I clamped down on my tongue, resisting the urge to point out how easily that could be arranged.
So, that’s how he wants to play it? I could make his life just as miserable as he was making mine. I’d be the nastiest bitch he’d ever dealt with if he planned on continuing to be such an asshole.
Whatever happened before we got out of here would be a true test of patience. This was my life, not a made-for-TV movie. I could hear the cheesy narration: “Matia was a girl who once loved a boy, even though he had decided that it was easier to be a total dick than show her any modicum of respect. Can she maintain the backbone she developed after having her reputation bashed in front of everyone? Or will she succumb to the inner rage boiling inside of her and beat him senseless with throw pillows? Murder is not an option when you are the only two people stranded in a luxury cottage in the middle of ‘Snow-ma-geddon.’ Flakes will fly this Friday at 9.”
Carson Rodriguez had no idea what he unleashed the minute he walked back into my life. Yes, the broken-hearted teenager who wanted revenge against his merciless actions toward her resurfaced. It was obvious to me that he considered himself the victim when in fact we were both victims.
I was not going to hold my breath waiting for an apology, otherwise I’d have already coded by now. I wanted something more valuable, the one thing I deserve to hear coming from those deceitful lips.
All I ever wanted—all I still want—is for Carson to finally admit he had been in love with me, just as much as I had been with him, all those years ago.
Was that seriously too much to ever ask for?
CHAPTER TWO
The only barriers keeping me away from Carson were the paper-thin walls as he trudged around the living room. The sound of his cell ringing and the constant barrage of negative remarks about being stuck in hell with the worst person imaginable were starting to get on my nerves. I slammed my glass onto the counter. I was about two seconds away from running out there and giving him a damn good reason why he needed to shut the hell up. After all, I had the knives, the food, and the booze.
If he wanted to say such revolting things about me, then he should have the balls to say them to my damn face. I chugged the rest of my drink before I found the nerve to march into the living room where I walked directly in front of him and stood with both arms crossed. I refused to move as he continued bitching over the phone to someone about getting out of here as soon as possible. Does he honestly think he’s the only one who wants to escape our unfortunate confinements?
Carson hung up the phone, shooting daggers at me with his eyes. I wanted to tell him his childlike antics weren't bothering me, but we would both know I’d be lying. If he was looking for an all-out war, then he had messed with the wrong woman. I was ready to take whatever he had up his sleeves... and jam it straight up his ass.
The silence was short-lived. Carson’s nostrils flared as he said through clenched teeth, “I can’t believe we’re really trapped here. I honestly thought we’d never have to see each other again. I hope you will be as easy to forget the second time.”
That was it, the dam burst! I hollere
d out, “Trust me, being here with you wasn't on my list of things to do this weekend. I was supposed to be having fun with my real friends, not stuck with a guy who couldn’t find compassion in a dictionary, let alone in real life. When did you become such a prick? Oh, wait... It’s all coming back to me now.” I tried to control my breathing.
My chest tightened from the effort of containing the steam rushing through my veins.
God, I loathe this man.
Pure hatred is not something you should feel toward someone who once took care of you for a whole summer after you injured yourself playing soccer or wiped away your tears and cheered you up every time a relationship went awry. I just couldn’t keep myself from feeling such powerful emotions around him. The bile in my stomach shot into my throat, making me want to spit out every vengeful word conceivable.
“Yeah, Matia, I’m such a prick. I guess you would be an expert on calling things as you see them. That’s rich. I wonder, do you still think you’re innocent and never ruined anyone’s life?” Carson’s eyes flashed as he drove the proverbial dagger right into my back.... Again.
Carson ran his hands through his hair. “I used to think you were such a goodhearted and caring person. Damn, was I ever wrong about you.” He cleared his throat, as if some kind of emotion was trying to seep through. He avoided looking at me just as I thought I saw a glimpse of weakness on his face.
A dull silence filled the air, and then so softly I could barely hear it, he whispered, “I honestly never expected my best friend to hurt me the way you did.”
“Well, you hurt me, too. Every time you paraded about with Erin, it was a reminder about how I would never stack up to her.”
Anger flashed in his eyes. “Don’t bring Erin into this! Your insecurities destroyed our friendship, not her.”
“Would you look at that? You still stick up for her. Why does that not surprise me?”