Ridge lowered himself over her body. Her lush breasts cushioned his chest as he lightly brushed her lips in a kiss that said more than he could ever say with words. Avery reached up and held his face between her hands. She tasted salty and sweet, addictive as hell and he wondered if he’d ever be able to purge her from his system.
She slid one hand down to his hip and pressed until he shifted onto his side. His leg was screaming with pain and she more than likely knew it. Never breaking the kiss, Avery turned to her side, scooted up against him and slipped her leg between his. The kiss went deeper, their tongues caressing, tasting and exploring in foreplay they’d never gotten around to before. Damn, but he liked it. Why hadn’t he taken the time to do this before?
Because he was too fucking desperate for her, that’s why. When it came to Avery his needs hit like bricks being dropped from a twenty-story building. She feathered her fingertips over the scar on his cheek, stroking the puckered flesh and soothing the overstimulated nerves. Her touch was like magic. When her hand drifted down his side and around to his ass, he nearly sighed as she trailed her fingers along the ridges of his muscles.
He should return the favor. Yeah, but he couldn’t quite make his hands move. Her tender touch had relaxed him to the point of jelly. Abandoning his ass, she slipped her hand between them and cupped his sac. Fire surged from her palm as she rolled and stroked his flesh. Instantly his cock hardened, waking his muscles.
Eager to do some touching of his own, Ridge cupped her breast, stroked her nipple with the pad of his thumb and smiled when she pushed herself against his hand. He wanted his mouth there tasting her ripe, plump berry. Hell, he wanted his mouth everywhere on her. Ridge moved his hand down her belly, ready to cup her sweet mound only to have her stop him as she wrapped her fingers around his wrist.
“Sensitive,” she muttered and then nipped his bottom lip.
Shame washed through him quick and cold. Of course she was sensitive, what the fuck was he thinking? He’d pounded the hell out of her and made her come twice.
“Sorry,” he replied in a whisper.
Avery displayed her aggravation with his apology by squeezing his balls just enough to make him jerk, and then speared her tongue deep into his mouth. He couldn’t help but suck it lightly, fuck, she tasted so good. All her touches and kisses where building him up again. He had to be inside her. Obviously wanting the same, Avery writhed against him.
“I have to get another condom,” he mumbled, hating the idea of pulling away from her. She groaned a protest but didn’t stop him and she shifted, leaned over the side of the bed and fumbled with his jeans. Once he had the packet, he quickly removed the used condom, placed it on top of his boot so as not to mess up her floor and covered himself again.
This time would be slow, he promised himself. Crawling up the bed, he covered her body with his, guided himself to her opening and groaned as her body accepted him. She was like liquid fire, so fucking hot and wet. Her muscles separated, stretching around him, spilling more lubricant to ease his way. When he finally fully seated himself, Ridge took a deep breath and focused on Avery’s face.
Her eyes were open wide, her lips slightly parted and her breaths came in short pants.
“Am I hurting you?”
“God no,” she whimpered.
Ridge dipped his head, flicked her nipple with his tongue and then sucked the pretty little berry between his lips. Avery arched her back off the bed with a cry and then sank her fingers into his hair. As he tormented her nipple he pulled his hips back, dragging his cock through her wet tunnel and then returning at the same pace.
Desperate little sounds escaped her throat as her head thrashed back and forth on the mattress. He loved those sounds, they made him hotter, hornier and suddenly the only thing that mattered was making Avery feel good. Nothing else. No cop waiting in the wings, no suspect lurking in the shadows. Nothing.
“Ridge,” she cried, moving her hips in rhythm with his.
“I’m here,” he answered, looking in her beautiful eyes.
“Too good,” she whimpered as her eyes went vacant.
Yeah, it was too good. With each stroke her body acted as a warm, silky glove driving him to the brink of insanity. “Hang on, babe,” he said in a deep, husky voice. “We come together.”
He rocked his hips against her, rubbing her sensitive clit with each retreat and reentry. Fuck, she was swallowing him alive, devouring every inch and he wouldn’t be able to hold on much longer. Avery reached up and gripped his shoulders as her hips began a desperate thrust. Ridge went with it, increasing his speed and knowing he’d last only a few more seconds. Their gazes locked as they drove each other to the finale.
His balls cinched against his body, his cock throbbed deep inside her core and when he her muscles stiffened beneath him, Ridge stopped fighting. Giving one last hard thrust the world shattered around them as they both exploded into each other. Her spirit spilled into him again, her pleasure, her love and her need. Ridge absorbed it, allowing himself to get lost in her beautiful light.
This had to be what heaven was like. It had to be because nothing could ever outshine the way Avery felt and looked lying beneath him. If perfection existed he held it right now. In his mind a warmth blossomed and spread, making him shiver with contentment as his release diminished. Exhausted and weak, he fell to her side, sliding from her body and receiving a quiet little moan of protest.
“Shh.” Ridge propped his head on his hand and stroked her belly with his fingertips. Avery let out a breathy sigh and seemed to sink further into the mattress as sleep relaxed her tense muscles.
For the first time in a long time exhaustion tugged at him as well. Sure, he’d been tired. Mostly tired of worrying and carrying the responsibilities of everyone else’s safety on his shoulders, but never this mentally and physically tired. Whatever happened between them just now, it seemed to have drawn out the poison that plagued his body. He wanted to sleep for days right here by her side, their naked flesh touching. And he’d do that, but first he needed to take care of her.
Sliding quietly from the bed, Ridge tiptoed to the bathroom, disposed of his condoms and wet a washcloth. When he returned Avery hadn’t moved and he couldn’t stop himself from burning her angelic image into his brain. He’d pull this memory out in the future, this night. He’d use it to fill the empty ache that was sure to haunt him as he lay alone in his bed.
Refusing to think any further down the road than right now, Ridge passed the wet cloth between her legs and wiped away the evidence of their lovemaking. A smile tugged at his lips as he dabbed away her sweet juice. He was far from a virgin and had more sexual encounters than he probably should, but not one of those past trysts compared to what he’d experienced the last few days with Avery. She was full of passion and fire, not afraid to take what she wanted and the way her body responded to him boosted his ego somewhere up into the stratosphere. What man wouldn’t want his woman dripping wet for him?
A yawn snuck up on him as he finished cleaning her up. Tossing the cloth aside, he crawled into bed with her and as soon as his body brushed hers, she turned and curled herself around him. Her arm stretched out over his chest and her leg curled over the tops of his. Even in her sleep she seemed to be aware of his mangled leg and made certain not to put any pressure on it.
He didn’t deserve her constant thought. Hell, he didn’t deserve her love. She needed someone able to take care of her and not just in bed. He couldn’t take care of anyone. His men, Cale and little Sehr were proof of that. He’d let them all down and it would only be a matter of time before he let Avery down.
Ridge took a deep breath and decided to let it all go for tonight. Sometimes a man received a special gift and even if it didn’t last, he would be a fool to turn away. Tonight was his special gift and until the sun rose, he’d pretend it was okay to have it.
Chapter Thirteen
Burnt flesh and spent ordnance fouled the air. Shouts, screams and agonized wailing fille
d his ears. Twenty feet away little Sehr pushed herself up in the rubble and met his frantic gaze. Her arm was missing, her legs were gone and half her face had been blown away. Brilliant red blood gushed from every part of her body and yet she still pleaded for his help.
Off to the side, Cale stood stoic, a large metal shard protruding from his head, his skin pasty white and his dark eyes sunken into his skull. His lips moved, but Ridge couldn’t make out the words.
“I can’t understand,” Ridge shouted in desperation as mortars exploded around them.
Cale raised his arm and pointed. Ridge followed the direction and saw his men blown to pieces. So much fucking death. This shouldn’t have happened. A hole opened up where his heart had once beat and the sensation of his soul being torn from his body dropped him to his knees.
“I’m sorry,” he shouted through the extreme grief and pain. “I’m sorry!” He couldn’t protect them. They were dead because of him. Ridge let out a howl of pain that echoed around the town and over the shots being fired.
“Gates!”
The harsh bark of his name had Ridge jerking his head up to find Cale standing directly in front of him. The stench of death rolled off his friend’s body and made Ridge’s stomach turn. Up close he could see Cale’s flesh rotting away, pulling from the bones and his eyes, God, his milky-white eyes.
“You promised!” Cale snapped.
Ridge could only shake his head. Cale didn’t understand. If he couldn’t protect his men or best friend, Avery didn’t stand a chance. Cale pointed again. Ridge turned away, not wanting to see what the dead man found so important.
In the blink of an eye, Cale crouched down, his flesh tearing away and hanging in strips from his bones. Ridge choked on a gag and gasp at the same time.
“You promised!” Cale barked again.
This time Cale reached out, gripped Ridge’s chin and jerked his head in the direction he wanted. Cale’s cold, clammy touch made his stomach heave.
“Look!”
Ridge glanced around the area through the madness taking place and saw her. “No!” he shouted at the top of his lungs. Avery stood in the grip of a man, one without features. She looked terrified, lost and abandoned.
“Ridge,” she cried, looking around for him.
The unknown man put a gun to her head. Ridge’s heart went into overdrive, beating so fiercely he couldn’t breathe. His lungs burned for oxygen, his body locked up and he broke out into a cold sweat. Stark raving fear filled every molecule of his being. “No!” The word came out a mere whisper and when the man pulled the trigger, the terror became a living, breathing thing that clawed at him from the inside out with razor-sharp talons laying waste to his soul.
“Avery! No!”
“Ridge.”
He could still hear her voice, so soft, so precious. Her body slumped to the ground.
“Ridge, please.”
He needed to go to her, he needed to hold her, but he couldn’t move. Fuck, why couldn’t he move? “Avery!”
Suddenly a warm spot popped up in his head. Only the size of pea, but a warmth he recognized, remembered, but from where?
“It’s okay, Ridge.”
“No, it’s not okay,” he growled through clenched teeth. The vision of her crumpled on the ground began to fade. “No,” he snarled. He didn’t want to lose her. He had to go to her.
A hard, punching pressure in his brain made him jerk.
“It’s over.”
Images faded, the smell of battle and death eased, but the pressure in his head remained. It took a few seconds but everything began to clear. It was a dream. He’d been dreaming and in the throes of another panic attack and Avery was here. She’d witnessed his weakness, knew his demons and by God she didn’t have any right to stick her nose there.
“Get. Out. Of. My. Head.” Damn it! She’d felt his agony, his desperation, his fucking failure.
“Ridge, it’s okay. You were only dreaming.”
As soon as her dainty fingers touched his sweaty, tense arm he exploded off the bed. “Don’t touch me and get the fuck out of my head!” In the darkness he could only see her shadowed figure tugging the sheet against her chest.
He had to get out of here. He couldn’t stay. She’d crawled around inside his head and knew things. “You had no right,” he bitched, jerking his jeans on. “No right.”
“I was only trying to help.”
“No!” he shouted, jamming his feet into his boots. “I don’t need your help. This is my business. Mine alone.”
“It doesn’t have to be.”
Her quivering voice made no impact on him. Not when he was raw and exposed. “Yes, it does, because I say it does.” Ridge grabbed his shirt as he stomped to the door. Before walking through, he stopped, turned and glared at her in the darkness. “Stay out of my head, Avery. I don’t care what you have to do but you stay the fuck out of my head.”
She flinched, dipped her head and, he suspected, shed a few a tears, but he didn’t give a damn. In a matter of seconds he burst through the front door and out into the warm night air. As he stormed across the street to his truck he could hear her alarm screeching. Too fucking bad. She’d either turn it off or let the cops come.
Moments later he sped down her street wanting to be as far away from her as he could get. He hoped like hell his anger was bombarding her at this very second. She deserved it after that little stunt. How much did she know about that night?
Ridge slammed his fist against the steering wheel, ignoring the pain that burst through his hand. “No right,” he shouted in the cab of his truck. Some things were too private, too personal and she needed to learn those boundaries. He wouldn’t, couldn’t live with her crawling around inside his head, knowing all his secrets and tormenting thoughts.
He was filthy, like a coating of slime had oozed over his body. At least she couldn’t see the images he’d seen, or could she? Hell, for all he knew she watched his nightmares like they were some horror flick. She hadn’t exactly been forthcoming with her little secret and could still be holding back information.
A wave of sadness and pain rolled through him, so much loneliness it made him gasp and it wasn’t coming from him. As quickly as it appeared, it vanished. Had she done it on purpose or did it slip through? It didn’t matter. It only pissed him off more.
Letting a low, angry growl roll from his chest, Ridge pounded the steering wheel again. How fucking fair was this? Hadn’t he suffered enough? Was this his penance for not protecting his men, Cale and Sehr?
“Why didn’t you let me bleed out there on that filthy fucking street?” he shouted to the heavens. “I should have been the one to catch the shrapnel in the head, not Cale,” he continued. “Not Cale.”
Ridge pulled into his driveway, jumped from the truck and slammed the door. He needed a shower, a good hot shower. Without turning on one light he entered the house, moved straight to the bathroom and turned on the water. No light in the bathroom. He couldn’t stand to look at himself right now.
A man could only endure so much humiliation in one day. Bad enough Avery knew his pathetic weakness—he didn’t need to catch his reflection in the mirror and see it in himself. After shedding his clothes, Ridge stepped beneath the spray of water, turned his face up and let the water pelt his skin.
It didn’t sting nearly enough. He wanted the pain, wanted it to drown out the self-loathing thing he had going on right now. Maybe he could go out and run until his leg burned with so much fire he wouldn’t be able to focus. No, Avery would feel the pain and he’d seen a glimpse of what that did to her. He may be an ass, but he wasn’t a complete ass.
Once the water began to run cold and he’d scrubbed his skin until it was raw, Ridge stepped out of the shower, dried himself and lumbered to his bed. He wanted to sleep, God, he needed to sleep. Sleeping meant dreaming and Avery wouldn’t be able to stop herself from reaching through to save him from himself.
“Fuck,” he moaned, covering his eyes with his arm. So n
ow what? Never sleep again?
* * * * *
Avery had spent the last three days holed up in her house, only venturing out to check the mail. Mostly all she did was sleep. When she woke in the mornings, she walked down the steps and curled up on the couch where she fell asleep again. A light dinner of toast or whatever she could pull out of the fridge kept her stomach from devouring itself and then she slugged back up the steps and back to bed.
Ridge hadn’t tried to contact her, no phone call, no impromptu visit, nothing. He might as well have reached into her chest and ripped out her heart, skewered it with a spear and then burnt it over an open pit. She didn’t understand what she’d done wrong. It wasn’t the first time she’d pulled him out of a hideous nightmare.
No, but it was the first time he understood what was happening, that she was the one responsible. Avery couldn’t decide what made him angrier, the fact that she could do what she did, or that it was simply her doing it. What difference did it make? Avery balled her fist and scowled out her front window. She’d given him everything she could. Respect, understanding and her most precious gift—love. And how did he return the favor? Treating her like a demon devouring his soul and slurping away on his pain.
Did he honestly think she enjoyed this, that she got off knowing how emasculated he felt over the deaths of his men? How sick a person would that make her? The anger welled in her chest like a bubble ready to burst.
Finally, the wounded bird had healed slightly and was damn good and mad for being injured. Ridge had no right to treat her like a criminal, like she’d snuck into his brain and stolen valuable items. He’d seemed to really enjoy the sharing while he had himself buried balls-deep inside her body. He couldn’t deny that. No way in hell would she let him deny it. He’d also liked tormenting her until she’d demanded he fuck her. Well guess what? That was never, ever going to happen again.
She had pride. Just because sex with the man blew her mind and could be considered one of the natural wonders of the world didn’t mean she had to put up with being treated like a filthy troll. She had pride, damn it, and if she kept telling herself that she’d eventually believe it. The next time Ridge Gates came sniffing around to get his tool greased he could go look up one of his classy broads.
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