“You ended up without even girlfriends?”
“Basically. I mean, I’d see them at school, but—”
“Geez,” Cutty said, cutting her off as if he couldn’t listen to any more of what she was telling him despite the fact that she was still merely letting him know the way things had been without any sympathy seeking.
Then he said, “I knew what Marla and I did all those years ago had more repercussions than I could have ever imagined, but I never thought it hurt you. I suppose you didn’t even get to go to a homecoming dance or a prom or anything.”
“Nope. Not one. I couldn’t be anywhere where any boy might get his hands on me,” Kira confirmed.
Cutty didn’t say anything for a moment. He just studied her face with that penetrating green gaze.
Then he reached a hand to the back of her neck, squeezing it gently and rubbing it with his thumb. “I’m so sorry. I hate that I made your life tougher than it had been before.”
“It’s okay. Who’s to say I would have even been asked to a homecoming dance or a prom anyway?”
“Oh, you would have been asked. Believe me, you would have been asked,” he said as if he knew something she didn’t.
He was looking into her eyes and his hand had risen to caress the back of her head in a way that made just about everything seem better.
“I feel like I owe you a prom or something,” he said in a quiet, husky tone.
“At least one,” she joked, her own voice barely above an intimate whisper as she had a flashback of an old teenage fantasy of doing just that—of going to a prom with a guy so terrific looking that everyone there would be envious. Of dancing all evening with him gazing into her eyes alone—much the way Cutty was gazing into them right at that moment. Of being taken home afterward and being kissed good-night.
As if he knew what she was thinking, Cutty used that hand in her hair to pull her slowly nearer. Near enough to press his mouth to hers and actually give that good-night kiss the young Kira had longed for. So near that to keep from falling into him she had to turn more toward him, facing the back cushions, facing Cutty.
He kept that hand cradling her head but his other arm came around her, adding a dimension that hadn’t been there in either of the kisses they’d shared before—holding her, bracing her, keeping her close as his lips parted over hers and deepened the kiss.
Kira answered in kind, letting her lips part, too, savoring the feel of that muscular arm across her back, of his hand doing that gentle massage.
Lips parted even more and his tongue came to say hello, testing the very edges of her teeth, taking a leisurely course to meet her tongue, tip to tip.
She didn’t retreat from that, either. She welcomed it, welcomed the deepening of that kiss, following his lead circle for circle, being chased and giving chase.
He pulled her closer still, until she was half-way sitting on his lap, resting against the breadth of that massive chest.
She wrapped her arms around him, too, letting her palms ride the expanse of his shoulders, savoring the feel of all that strength and power. Savoring, too, the feel of her breasts against him as her nipples turned into hard knots and nudged at him.
No kiss she’d ever imagined and none she’d ever had before compared to that one. She lost herself in it, in the pure sensuality of it, the pure sensual pleasure of mouths opening ever wider, of tongues doing a passionate dance that was awakening things inside her that were hot and fiery, things that made her feel alive with needs, with desires, with hungers she didn’t even know she had.
And she was a little afraid of that, of where letting herself get too carried away might lead.
And maybe Cutty sensed it. Or maybe he’d been struck by a similar thought, because at the same moment Kira began to ease out of that kiss, he did, too.
“Maybe we should call that one consolation for missing the prom,” he suggested with a frustrated-sounding chuckle, as if every time he kissed her there needed to be an excuse.
“Want to hear about the math camp I had to miss?” she joked in response, as if he could compensate for that, too, while he was at it.
Cutty laughed, but he didn’t kiss her again.
He also didn’t let go of her, though. Instead he held her there. And she didn’t try to move.
After another long moment of looking down into her eyes he finally said, “Tomorrow night Northbridge is giving Ad and me some kind of award—”
“For saving that family from the fire?”
“Mmm-hmm. Will you go with me?”
“To watch Mel and Mandy while you accept your award?”
“No, there’s a teenage girl down the street who baby-sits for me here and there. I thought we could call her to stay with the twins and just you and I could go.”
“Because I missed a few high-school dances?” she asked, worrying slightly that he might be asking her out of guilt or pity or something after what she’d told him.
“No, not because you missed a few high-school dances,” he said as if he didn’t know where that had come from. “Because I’d like you to be there with me.”
He said that as if he genuinely meant it, as if there couldn’t possibly be any other reason, and it washed away that momentary fear born of her own self-doubt.
“I’d like to be there,” she heard herself say, contrary to all the reasons she could think of not to.
“Then it’s a date.”
“Okay.”
He kissed her again and it was in that moment that she realized their relationship had reached a new level. A more personal level.
A level that was different than where this had begun.
A level she’d never intended to reach.
Just then she sat up straighter, away from Cutty, to put an end to this evening.
“I’d better let you rest up for your big night tomorrow night, then,” she said, wishing it hadn’t come out sounding as if there was more than an awards ceremony that he needed to rest up for.
Cutty smiled a smile that let her know he’d heard it that way, too. “Uh-huh,” he said with a healthy dose of innuendo. But then he let her off the hook. “I’ll call Tiffy first thing in the morning to see if she can sit.”
“Great,” Kira said, getting to her feet. “I’ll just see you tomorrow then.”
Kira insisted he not get up and walk her to the door when he tried and instead hurried through the kitchen and outside to the backyard before she was tempted to take him up on the offer.
As much as she would have liked to have even a few more minutes with him, it just seemed too likely that if he walked her to the door it would put them in a position where he might kiss her again.
And the bottom line was that thought was just too appealing.
But she couldn’t help regretting what she’d denied herself as she crossed the yard to the garage apartment.
Or wondering if maybe some of the self-restraint lessons she’d learned from her father did her more harm than good.
Chapter Six
“It’s okay, Kira. It’s not a big deal.”
“It is a big deal. Betty told me how Marla kept the house. She told me how it was all supposed to be done. And now she’ll come here and see that I still haven’t managed to get on top of it.”
“Kiwa wunnin’,” Mel observed.
“Funny,” Mandy contributed.
The twins had just gotten up from their Monday-afternoon naps. They were in their high chairs having crackers and milk, watching Kira rushing around the kitchen, frantically cleaning up.
Cutty had taken a call from Betty, who had said she had some free time and wanted to take the girls to the park. He’d encouraged her to come right over, thinking it would give Kira a break.
Then he’d hung up the phone, told Kira and all hell had broken loose.
Mel and Mandy seemed to find it very entertaining.
Cutty didn’t.
“A few dishes in the sink, some crumbs on the counter, toys on the living-room flo
or—don’t worry about it. The place still looks better than it did before you got here.”
“But not as good as when Marla took care of it, and I can’t have Betty seeing a mess,” Kira insisted.
Cutty shook his head. “It isn’t a mess, it just looks lived-in. But if it would make you feel better, you can put the girls in their stroller out front, and I’ll wait with them for Betty to get here. That way she won’t even have to come in.”
“That might seem rude,” Kira fretted. “And what about when she brings them back? She’ll want to come in then, I know it. And—”
“And by then you can get things straightened up, if it’ll make you feel better. But she’s not going to do a white-glove inspection. It’ll be fine.”
“It won’t be the way Marla would have had it,” Kira reiterated, more to herself than to him. But she did seem to be considering his suggestion. And once she had she said, “I suppose there’s nothing else I can do.”
Then she made a dash for the stroller.
“Finish your crackers, girls. Betty’s coming to see you,” Cutty informed his daughters, all the while keeping his eyes trained on the frenzied Kira.
The longer she was in Northbridge with him the more he was realizing that there were two sides to her. There was this side of her—the side that worried she wasn’t doing a good job, the side that never seemed to think she was accomplishing enough, the side that seemed in constant competition with Marla.
Then there was the other side. The side that was more inclined to roll with things. The side that worked harder at winning over the babies’ affections than at cleaning the house. The side that paid attention to Mel and Mandy—and to Cutty—before she paid attention to dirty dishes or vacuuming floors.
That was the side Cutty knew he was a sucker for. Which was why he also knew it was the dangerous side. Because that was the softer side. The side that was fun. And sweet. And just a little bit quirky.
That was the side that kept causing him to lower his guard.
“Okay, I have the stroller out front, at the bottom of the steps and the diaper bag packed and ready,” Kira announced when she bustled back into the kitchen a few minutes later, still operating at super-speed. “I’ll put the girls in it and Betty can push them straight out of the yard as soon as she gets here.”
Cutty didn’t say anything to that. He just helped Mel finish her milk and wiped her face.
By the time he’d done that, Kira had cleaned up Mandy and taken her out of the high chair. Then she turned to lift Mel to the floor, too.
“I’ll grab the sunblock and put it on them outside,” Cutty said then.
“Oh, good, that will help.”
Kira wasted no time herding the twins through the living room and out the front door.
Cutty watched her go, discouraged by the sight.
Then he grabbed his cane and the bottle of sunscreen and followed behind.
Kira had both twins in the stroller when he limped out onto the porch.
“You promise you won’t let Betty inside?” she asked as he joined her.
“I promise.”
“But you’ll be nice about it so she won’t get offended?”
“No, I’m going to tell her you’ve banned her from coming inside because you’re an awful, unsociable person who’s holding us hostage in a pigsty.”
To Kira’s credit she realized he was only being sarcastic and smiled. “Do that and I’ll break your other ankle,” she countered.
There was that dangerous side again, peeking out at him. And Cutty couldn’t help grinning back at her. “In that case I guess I’ll have to be nice about it.”
“Thank you. Are you sure you’ll be okay out here with the girls? It won’t hurt your ankle not to have it elevated until Betty gets here?”
“I’ll be fine.”
But he still kept an eye on Kira as she went back into the house, thinking that witnessing that panic over someone finding a few things out of place was something he should brand on his brain.
He was having more and more trouble keeping in mind that this other side of her existed and it wasn’t something he wanted to forget. It was something he needed not to forget.
Because, yes, she could pause in her panic and respond to his joke. Yes, she’d stopped long enough to think of him and make sure his waiting on the porch wouldn’t cause him pain. But even if there was a part of her that had escaped the effects of having been raised by Tom Wentworth, there was still that other part of her that hadn’t. And Cutty knew from experience that that part was nothing to ignore.
He settled himself to sit on the bottom step with the twins directly in front of him and his bum leg extended out to the side of the stroller.
As he slathered the twins with sunscreen he thought about all Kira had told him the night before about her father. He thought about how much it explained for him. But even so, understanding the root cause of something didn’t mean that what grew from that root cause didn’t exist. It didn’t lessen the reality of living with what grew from that root cause. And he knew he had to keep that in mind.
It was just that when it came to Kira, he seemed to have a blind spot. A really big blind spot.
It was difficult not to. Especially when the Tom-Wentworth-influenced side of her was beneath the surface. Pretty far beneath it. And the surface was so damn appealing.
Not just because she was beautiful, either. Although she was. Every time he looked into those big blue eyes of hers it was like staring at a clear sky on a lazy summer afternoon. He loved the way her hair glistened in the sun, the way it fell to her shoulders when she left it loose. And there certainly wasn’t a doubt that her body was great, that it was a body his hands itched to get hold of.
But the more he got to know her, the more things he found that he liked about her on top of the way she looked.
He didn’t know how long it had been since he’d woken up every morning eager to face the day. He only knew it had been a long, long time.
But every single day Kira had been there had begun like that—he couldn’t wait to see her. To hear her voice and everything she had to say. To smell the clean, fresh-flower scent of her. To learn what made her smile, what made her frown, what pleased her and what provoked her, what she liked and disliked. To watch those long-fingered hands at work and at play and wish for a moment when they might accidentally brush his skin. He couldn’t wait to learn what she thought of something on the news or see the twins from her point of view, to laugh at them together. He just couldn’t wait to be with her, to have meals with her, to tease her, to share every minute and every event with her.
And then what did he do when the day actually did get started? He willed it to pass so he could get to the end of the evening, when the twins were down for the night, and he could have that little bit of time alone with Kira.
As much as he looked forward to the day with her, he looked forward to the end of the day with her even more. He usually even had a contingency plan for how to get her to stay if she seemed inclined to go straight out to the garage apartment after the twins were in bed.
It was nice to sit and talk to her. She was easy to have a conversation with. Easy to confide in. And equally as easy to listen to. And then, of course, kissing her good-night had hardly been a chore.
Oh, yeah, he definitely had a blind spot when it came to Kira. A blind spot that lasted even after she left at night because he’d been going to bed regretting that the day and evening were over. Regretting that he was going to bed alone. And then lying in that lonely bed fantasizing about what it would be like if she were there with him. Wanting her there with him. Wishing he could just fall asleep so the morning would come quicker. Not being able to fall asleep at all for hours and hours because he couldn’t stop thinking about her.
“Beh-ee!” Mandy announced, drawing Cutty out of his thoughts as the older woman parked her car at the curb just then.
Mel and Mandy got excited enough to stand up in the stroller and try
to get out of it.
“Sit down or you can’t go with Betty to the park,” Cutty warned.
His longtime household helper turned off her engine and got out from behind the steering wheel, waving at the girls as she hurried up to kiss each of them in turn.
“Ooo, my little sweet-cheeks,” she murmured affectionately to them both. “I’ve missed you.”
“Beh-ee!” Mel shrieked while Mandy bounced gleefully in her seat.
Then Betty turned her attention to Cutty. “What are you doing out here? You’re supposed to have that ankle elevated,” she reprimanded.
“I know but I needed some fresh air so I thought I’d wait out here for you.”
“How’s it feeling?”
“Good,” Cutty said.
“Is Marla’s sister still here?”
Marla’s sister.
Cutty never thought of Kira that way, and it occurred to him that maybe that was something else he should try, that it might narrow his blind spot.
“Kira is working inside, picking up after all of us,” Cutty said. “She’ll probably say hello when you get back.”
“Pahk,” Mandy demanded then, as if on cue, just when Cutty needed her to.
“I guess I’ll have to see Kira when I get back,” Betty said. “I can’t keep these beauties waiting.”
“They probably won’t let you,” Cutty agreed.
“Oh, I could just eat them up!” the older woman said, bending over to kiss their heads again.
Then she maneuvered the stroller so she could get between it and Cutty. “We’ll only be an hour or so,” she informed him as she pushed it down the walk.
“I put sunblock on them. The bottle’s in the pouch if you need more,” Cutty called after them.
“Go on into the house and get that ankle up,” Betty ordered over her shoulder as she turned onto the sidewalk that ran in front of the house.
Cutty’s ankle was beginning to throb so he knew that was exactly what he needed to do and got himself to his feet.
Marla’s sister, he thought as he did to counteract the fact that he was also glad to be going inside because it meant he got to see Kira.
Babies in the Bargain Page 12