A loud growl made Azer look out again. He saw the man with both arms around Raven. He tried to kiss her. She pretended to dodge, and she laughed. He grappled her around until he got his mouth fixed on hers.
She leaned against him and sighed loud enough for Azer to hear. What was she trying to do? Was she trying to make Azer jealous? No, she was trying to help him, to distract this guy long enough for Hazel to get away. Azer had to keep reminding himself of that. She wouldn’t be doing this if she didn’t have to.
Raven cried out. The two tangled bodies staggered across the street, and the guy slammed her back against a wall. He kissed her and ground his crotch between her legs. Was she getting turned on doing this? Did he make her wet and stir his fingers through her juices?
She broke free, snatched the guy’s hand, and ran off down the street giggling. She ran straight toward Azer, but the guy rushed at her and caught her again. He got her up against the side of a house—the same house where Azer and Hazel huddled in tense anticipation.
Now, Azer heard her murmur into the guy’s mouth when they kissed. He heard their lips smack and the guy’s hands rustle over her clothes. Azer seethed in fury, but he didn’t dare break his cover. That should be him touching Raven. That should be him pinning his hips between her legs to make her breath catch in her throat.
The guy grumbled low. “Come on, baby. Right now. Are you hot for Daddy right now?”
She gave a high-pitched moan. “Not here.”
He growled into her mouth. “Right here. Show me how hot you are for me. Show me right now.”
She whimpered and whined. What was he doing to her? Azer couldn’t look. The guy would see him if he stuck his head out.
He just made up his mind to see what was going on when Raven burst out laughing again. She laughed too loud. The next thing Azer knew, she dashed past his nose. She towed the guy after her, and the two disappeared into the dark.
Azer froze against the wall. No sound disturbed the night. He could wait all night for some new crisis, but nothing came. He let out a shaky breath and pushed himself off the wall. He took Hazel’s hand and took one step when Raven came striding down the street.
She checked right and left. Her shadow swiveled through the lamplight circles. Nothing interfered her passage. She halted in front of Azer and ran her fingers through her hair. “We can go now.”
Azer frowned. “Where’s your friend?”
She jerked her chin over her shoulder. “He went on to the party. I told him I would meet him there later. I said I had to go home and get my protection.”
Azer set his jaw and didn’t answer. Raven regarded him and waited, but he said nothing.
Raven waved Azer and Hazel forward. “This way. No one will bother us again.”
Their running steps ate up the last inches separating them from the forest. The woods closed in. Darkness reigned. The town’s lights fell far behind. The cool, safe dark washed away their cares and tensions.
Azer’s nose picked up the smells carried on the wind and rising out of the damp earth. Hazel pricked up her ears, and her grip loosened on Azer’s hand.
Raven materialized in front of Azer. He couldn’t see her face, but he smelled her sweet scent against his cheeks. She whispered low. “This is it. No one will come after her here.”
Azer sighed. “Thank you, Raven. I won’t forget this.”
“Don’t thank me. I’m not doing this out of the kindness of my heart.”
Azer turned to Hazel. “Now, run, Hazel. Run back home, and don’t forget the message I told you about.”
Hazel hesitated. Azer raised his voice to a command, “Run for it, and don’t look back.”
Hazel jumped at that cutting voice. In a flash, the woods engulfed her. The night camouflaged her black hair and dark skin. No clink of metal followed her into the distance. No sound marked her passage.
Azer strained his ears, but he didn’t hear anything more. His shoulders slumped Hazel was free. Now, all that remained was for him to leave—again.
His awareness crawled back to that painful presence standing right in front of him. Raven’s warmth called to him out of the dark. “Now, do you believe I love you?”
He put out his hand to touch her face. “I know you do.”
She pressed her cheek into his palm. “Do you really have to leave?”
“Is there any other way?”
She hitched her head sideways to lay a kiss in the hollow of his hand. “I need you.”
He couldn’t hold back any longer. He caught her in his arms. He kissed her face and whispered into her hair. “I can’t live without you.”
She hugged his around the ribs and buried her face in his chest. “I’m finished. It’s all over for me.”
He brought his face in front of hers. “What will you do? Where will you go?”
Her voice came out of the night itself. “I don’t know. Everything I had is gone. I’ve got nothing left. I can’t go back to the ring. I can’t go back to my family.”
“What about Riley? He’ll help you.”
A broken sob wrenched from her throat. “He can’t help me. No one can help me. I’m not Midnight anymore.”
“What do you mean? You’ll always be Midnight.”
“I’m not fluid anymore. I can never be fluid anymore. You’re leaving, and I’ll never mate with anyone else. I don’t know what I’m gonna do.”
He kissed all over her face and hands and hair. “Don’t give up. You never know what might happen.”
She raised her eyes. “What about you? What will you do?”
He shrugged. “I guess I’ll go home. I have to take word back to Bruins’ Peak about the NightShade. My people will want to contact them about fighting the Midnight.”
“I envy you. You’ve got a home and a family to go back to.”
He peeled himself away. “I don’t have anything to go back to. I have no life waiting for me on Bruins’ Peak. Without you, I might as well be dead.”
Raven stared at him in the dark, but she didn’t break down crying. A terrible stillness surrounded her. That stillness scared Azer worse than all the claws and teeth on Midnight Moraine. She had no tears left to shed. She went dead and empty, even when he held her in his arms.
She didn’t react when he moved away. She just stood there, still and cold and…just gone. He kissed her to try to breathe some life back into her. “I better go.”
She kissed him back and nodded, but she didn’t answer. She waited until he moved back into the trees. He paused to glance back. She hadn’t budged from the spot. She stared straight in front of her without moving.
He lay his fingers to his lips and blew her a kiss. She couldn’t have seen in the dark, anyway. She turned on her heel and walked away, back toward Midnight Moraine. Azer took off into the woods and disappeared.
Chapter 19
Raven sat on Riley and Melody’s porch. She stared into the forest, but she didn’t see anything. She didn’t watch the interplay of light and shadow glinting through leaves. She didn’t listen to squirrels chattering over nuts. She paid no attention to birdsong and wildflowers blooming under the trees..
She didn’t move until Melody came strolling up the path from the compound. Melody swung a wicker basket in one hand and smiled up at the sky overhead. She didn’t stop smiling when she saw Raven.
Melody climbed the steps and sat down in the next chair. She held out the basket to Raven. “Your mama sent you these. She misses you. She wants you to come down to the house for meals.”
Raven turned her head aside. “I’m not hungry.”
Melody took the basket back and withdrew a chocolate chip cookie from under the napkin. “All the more for me. Your mama also wants me to tell you everybody’s seriously worried about you. They want to know why you haven’t scheduled another ring. They’re all missing their extra income.”
Raven snorted. “I’ll bet they are. Did you tell them we can’t run a ring without a bear?”
Melody nodd
ed. “Riley told ‘em.”
Raven went back to staring out at the forest. “If it’s that important to them, they can organize their own ring.”
Melody leaned closer. “Seriously, girl, you should go visit them at least. Your mama is getting upset because you won’t set foot in her house anymore.”
“I don’t want to see her or anybody else.”
Melody laid a hand on Raven’s knee. “I understand. Believe me, I understand. No one understands better than I do. I don’t know how you’ve lasted this long. Maybe there’s some way to contact Azer and tell him to come back. Maybe if he knew how much you need him, he would change his mind.”
Raven didn’t look at her. “He won’t change his mind, and he won’t come back.”
Melody sat silent for a long time. “Listen to me. You can’t go on like this. You’ve been sitting here staring into space for days. I know you’re heartbroken and everything. I can’t imagine what it must be like to lose your mate like this, but I can’t stand seeing you in pain. Isn’t there anything I can do?”
Raven shook her hair out of her face. “You’re already doing it.”
Melody waited, but when Raven didn’t say anything else, Melody got up. She left the basket next to Raven’s’ chair and went inside.
A moment later, Raven heard Riley’s voice inside the cabin. “Hey, baby. How was lunch?”
“Pretty dismal, if you want to know the truth. Everybody’s got their knickers in a twist over Raven. Your mama wants to come up here and drag Raven home by main force.”
“Maybe she’s got a point.”
“That would only make it worse.”
“Well, dang, there must be something we can do. She’s lifeless out there. I don’t think she even sleeps at night.”
“No, she doesn’t. She just sits there with her eyes open.”
“We have to get her to snap out of it. She’s got the rest of her life to live. She can’t fall over on some busted romance.”
“This is no busted romance. She’s mated for life, and her mate is gone. She won’t come out of it. We’ve seen this before on the Peak.”
“What will happen to her?”
“I hate to say it, but it’s only a matter of time before she takes her own life. Bruins don’t survive losing their mates.”
“She’s not a Bruin. Maybe we could get her interested in another guy. Maybe once she gets fluid again, she’ll come out of it.”
“You know that won’t happen,” Melody replied. “Would you get fluid again if something happened to me?”
A step sounded, and their voices muffled. “Of course not. If I lost you, that would be the end of me.”
They kissed, and their voices faded into the background. Raven didn’t care. She heard a version of this conversation a dozen times since Azer left. It always ended in the same hopelessness. It always ended with Riley and Melody hugging and kissing in some secluded corner. They had each other. They, of all people, understood how lucky they were to have each other. Raven wasn’t so lucky.
Raven couldn’t set foot off Riley and Melody’s porch. She couldn’t leave Midnight Moraine. She couldn’t go back to her family compound, and she couldn’t go inside Riley and Melody’s cabin, either.
They might be the only people on God’s green earth who understood, but this was their place. This was their little slice of heaven, where no one could disturb them. She already intruded on that by camping out on their porch day in and day out. They took care of her, but she couldn’t push it farther than that.
They wanted her to. They wanted to put her in their other bedroom in a good bed. They wanted to feed her up on chicken soup. They wanted to make it all better, even though they knew they couldn’t.
Raven wouldn’t talk to anyone. Not even Riley could get through to her. She didn’t tell anybody she helped the cub escape. No one would believe the great Raven Faulkner could do such a thing. The whole Moraine went nuts when they found the cub gone. Questions and accusations flew thick and fast. Of course, everybody blamed Azer, since he disappeared around the same time. Riley and Melody looked sideways at Raven when the questions came up, but they held back from asking straight out.
Only Melody could get a response out of her. Melody understood, but even Melody’s care and consideration hurt worse than Raven could stand. The one person Raven hated more than any other, the person Raven went out of her way to threaten and intimidate and drive away—this was the person to whom Raven came crawling when she needed help the most.
Melody never reminded Raven of the way it used to be. To Melody, there was no ‘used to be’. Melody knew. Melody understood. Melody cared when no one else did, but Melody held out no hope for Raven. She knew better.
Nothing remained for Raven to do or say or feel. Nothing remained but death staring her in the face. What was the point of living anymore? Every day she remained alive, she cost Riley and Melody another day when they could be happy in each other.
Maybe Melody had a point. Maybe these Bruins knew better than anybody how to handle situations like these. They didn’t hang around feeling sorry for themselves. Raven heard Melody tell Riley the story of Scotia Kerr. Scotia fell in love with a local boy, but the guy got killed in a freak accident when a bull gored his horse. Scotia tried to kill herself. She threw herself off a cliff out of grief. She didn’t want to live without her life’s mate.
Raven couldn’t throw herself off a cliff. The only cliffs high enough were on Renegade Ridge, and she sure as eggs wasn’t going over there. For the first time since Azer left, she started to look around her. There must be something around here she could use to end it all. How hard could it be to kill this mortal coil and be done with it all?
Melody didn’t bother Raven much. She tried a couple of times a day to talk, but when Raven turned away, Melody left her alone. She’d made her daily attempt. She wouldn’t try again until evening.
Raven jumped off her chair and set off through the woods. New energy infected her. She had a project: Operation Get-Out-Of-Dodge. Her mind ranged ahead of her over the Moraine. She had to find some way, some tool, some foolproof method to end it and end it quickly.
She paused outside her family compound. She hid in the trees and watched Ebony and Onyx. The girls left Wyatt’s house on the way back to theirs. Somethings never changed, and they never would. Midnight would remain Midnight. They would stay fluid and dark, and that’s all the more reason they could never understand or accept what happened to Raven.
No one could understand it. Raven could hardly understand it herself. She longed more than anything to remain fluid, to skip through the branches the way she used to. If she couldn’t have that, if she couldn’t be Midnight anymore, she would rather be dead than stuck in the this limbo between one thing and another. If she accidentally-on-purpose wound up dead, at least she would know for certain where she was in this world—or not.
Wyatt came out under the eaves. He cradled his shotgun in one elbow. He slid open the action, checked the magazine, and closed it again. He rested the gun in a corner and sat down on the step to lace up his boots.
Raven watched every movement in fascinated horror. Wyatt picked up his gun and headed for his shed. Raven knew exactly where he kept his guns. She even knew where in his sock drawer he hid the key to his safe. She could waltz into his room, take out any one of his dozen guns, and….
She spun away and plunged into the woods. What was she doing, mooning around here, thinking about that? Where was her spirit? What had she come to, hanging around her uncle’s house, planning to do herself in?
She couldn’t let this happen. She had to find something in this crazy world to keep her going. She made her way all the way back to Riley and Melody’s cabin. Their presence protected her from herself, even if they had given up on her.
She made it all the way back to the porch steps. She was safe for now. She turned around and faced the woods. What would happen if she went out there again? Would she start thinking again about knocking
herself off? What is she didn’t catch herself next time? What if she actually went through with it?
She put out her foot to climb the steps, but she couldn’t face sitting on that porch. She couldn’t let her life slip away. If she sat down on that porch, she might never leave it. She might sit there for the rest of her wasted life, too afraid to leave it for fear her own despair would sneak up and nab her.
A bright flash of red flickered between the trees. Her panther senses sparked to life. What was that doing there? That color didn’t belong in the woods. She glanced that way, but when she saw the red again, she shook her head. She must be hallucinating. Her screwed-up brain concocted a daydream of what she wanted to see. She better sit down until she calmed down.
The red thing moved forward. She stared at it, but she couldn’t believe the evidence of her own senses. It was Azer.
Chapter 20
Raven stared at him from a cool distance. He stuffed the red handkerchief into his pocket and inclined his head toward the woods. She found herself walking at his side. She didn’t recognize him or herself, not even when he stopped in front of her. A strained look haunted his eyes. Other than that, he looked exactly the way she remembered him. He even wore the same clothes.
He didn’t look her up and down with that appreciative survey he gave her at the bus station. He glanced around the woods in search of something.
She nodded, even though none of this made sense. “Are you back? I didn’t think you would come.”
He shrugged. “I never went home. I’ve been in these woods ever since I left.”
Raven’s head shot up. He never went home? He’d been here all along?
His lips trembled when he tried to speak. “I couldn’t leave. I didn’t know what I was doing. I wanted to leave, but I couldn’t.”
His words struck her ear. She winced at every sound. She couldn’t start believing he was really here. That would hurt too much. This dream would end, and she would go back to thinking about guns and rope and carbon monoxide.
Azer peered at her. “Aren’t you glad to see me?”
Bruins Peak Bears Box Set (Volume II) Page 36