by Violet Paige
My body felt warm and soothed, yet alive with energy.
Maybe Vaughn sensed what he had awakened in me. Or maybe he wanted to see how far he could push me. He rolled to his back, bringing me on top of him.
His hands traced the outline of my breasts, stopping to squeeze my nipples. My hands met his and I covered his hands with my palms. I felt him thrust inside me and the rocking took over. My clit needed the friction. Every time my hips moved, it brought me closer to another orgasm.
His hands fell away, gripping my waist with authority as he roughly moved me up and down over his cock.
I bounced wildly and passionately, rubbing my nipples, leaning backward toward the ceiling.
“Don’t stop fucking me like this,” he ordered. His voice ragged and deep.
The farther I leaned back, the deeper he hit my walls, until I was convulsing and vibrating in an uncontrollable way.
I slammed forward on his chest.
“Shit,” he hissed. His hands splayed firmly on my back and I felt his body seize with tension and then he growled quietly against my neck.
His head collapsed onto the mattress and he exhaled.
“Fuck.”
I tried to catch my breath while he drew lazy circles on my back. I extended one leg and then the other as he slid out of me. There was a sudden stickiness between my thighs.
I didn’t want to move. I didn’t want what we experienced to be over. Somehow moving might change it. The moment would pass, or we would get distracted by everything outside of our sex bubble. Because that’s what it was—a bubble of sex. Where nothing else mattered but what we did to each other.
I was afraid to talk. I wanted the moment to last—at least until the sun came up.
10
My hand moved across the sheet to the other side of the bed. I heard the paper rustle before my fingers touched it. I sat up, yanking the note into my hand. The sheet fell from my shoulders, exposing my naked chest.
I didn’t care. Vaughn was gone.
I scanned the page.
Early morning meeting. I didn’t want to wake you.
-V
That was it.
I blinked. I didn’t know what I expected. I curled under the covers. I read the two sentences again trying to squeeze something personal out of them. But I didn’t have much time to dwell. I had to get ready for work.
I searched for a robe and padded off to the kitchen to make coffee.
I stopped in front of the coffee pot. It was full with a hot pot of coffee. There was another note curled inside a mug on the counter. I reached for it.
You’re sexy and beautiful. See you tonight.
-V
I bit my lip and felt the blush creep along my neck. That was the note I was looking for. I poured the coffee into the mug Vaughn left out for me.
I heard the key rattle in the lock and jumped when Greer walked through the door.
“Hey, what are you doing here so early?”
She threw her work bag over the chair. “I need another suit for a second meeting this afternoon. I came home to grab it.”
“Oh.” I touched the cup to my lips. “Want some coffee?”
“Sure.” She wandered over. “I have a few minutes.”
I poured a cup for her and handed her the sugar and creamer.
“So, what’s been going on? I don’t think I’ve slept here all week.”
“Work,” I answered.
I felt a protectiveness about last night with Vaughn. I wasn’t ready to share. The note was tucked in the pocket of my robe.
Her eyebrows rose.
“And my client list is building up quickly,” I added. “It’s more demanding than I expected.”
“I know that feeling. I knew my job was going to be hard, but no one told me I wouldn’t have my own life anymore.”
“What’s going on with the senators?” I asked.
We sat together at the small bistro table in the corner. It was covered in mail neither one of us had opened.
She rolled her eyes. “Squabbling over contracts.”
“Oh?”
Greer nodded. “Weapons contracts. They have narrowed it down from five companies to three. But that’s all I can say. You know, my confidential oath and everything.”
“I understand. You don’t have to say anything else.”
“Sometimes I think it would be easier if I hadn’t taken a job with clearance requirements. I can’t even tell Preston half the stuff I’m upset about. It’s like I have half a conversation and have to leave all these blanks. He listens, but he doesn’t get it because I can’t tell him everything. That’s not normal is it?”
“I think maybe in this town it’s kind of normal.”
I felt as if I were doing the same thing, but not because I had sworn an oath.
“I guess you’re right.”
The sunlight dappled the hardwood floors. I looked at the clock.
“Shit. I have to get in the shower.” I pulled out my chair. “I don’t want to be late or my oh-so-pleasant officemate will make passive aggressive comments about it all day.” I turned to leave.
“Not going well?”
“She’s not the worst, I guess. Have a good day. I’ll see you…”
Greer sat at the table, holding her mug. “I’m not sure. The contract issue has me working non-stop. Maybe tomorrow night.”
I smiled. “Sounds good.”
I walked in my room and started my morning ritual.
Addie beat me to the office. She was on the phone when I walked in. I set up my laptop and scrolled through my schedule for today. I had a meeting with Max Harrison. It was the first of several mentor check-ins for the year.
The entire process was one giant interview. I knew when I made it to the end I could interview at other places. I didn’t have to stay at American. I didn’t have to put in for one of the teaching positions. I was trying to get my footing. I didn’t want to think about what happened ten months from now.
The reason I moved to D.C. was to give myself options. To explore something new. I didn’t like that somewhere in the back of my head I had the idea that staying at American would be better if I wanted some kind of future with Vaughn.
It was still too early to try to call Garrett. He hadn’t texted or called last night. I felt guilt worm through me. I hadn’t thought about him until now. The desperation I had felt vanished when Vaughn came over.
Did that make me a terrible sister? Did it make me heartless and cold? Was I so used to Garrett’s threats and wild ideas that I could ignore them for a night when he may have needed me most? Who was more selfish?
I twisted my hands together. I no longer saw the images on my screen. I was lost. I needed more coffee—or air. I needed space away from the incessant clicking that came from Addie’s tongue when she spoke.
I mouthed to her that I’d be back in a few minutes. I pushed through the lobby, ignoring the long faces of the women already lined up for the morning. Meg looked confused.
“Be right back,” I explained.
There was a small campus store a few minutes from our building. I headed that direction. At least if I returned with a fresh cup it will have looked like I accomplished something.
I stood in line to fill a cardboard cup, reading the headlines of the newspapers and magazines while I waited. Students talked about classes. I overheard someone mention plans for fall break. That was next month.
I paid for my coffee and stepped into the sunlight. D.C. had already said goodbye to the sweltering summer. There was a new coolness in the air.
My phone vibrated and I awkwardly reached in my bag to grab it without spilling my coffee.
“Good morning,” Vaughn spoke before I could say hi.
“Good morning.” I stopped by a tree, holding the cup close to my chest.
“Get my notes?”
“I did. I liked the second one.”
“Both of them are true. I just got out of my first meeting.”
Students walked past me. “I’m headed into one now. I stopped to get more coffee.”
“Tired?”
I pinched my lips together. “Maybe. You’re not?”
“Exhausted.” His voice almost made me tremble.
I smiled. I liked knowing I was the reason he was tired. That every time he yawned or his eyes burned today it would be because we had spent the night together. He felt everything I felt.
I leaned against the bark. “Thanks for coming over last night.”
“Sounded like you needed a friend.”
“I did.” I hadn’t told Vaughn anything about Garrett. In fact, we never talked about why he showed up. I had greedily soaked up an excuse to focus on something else.
“And tonight? Does dinner work for you?”
This was the part where I could have played hard-to-get. I could have told him I needed a few nights before I was free.
“Yes.”
“I’ll pick you up at seven.”
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“There’s this Italian place in Georgetown where the women roll the pasta by hand. You’ll like it.”
“How do you know I like Italian?” I teased, stalling to keep him on the phone. I liked the sound of his voice too much.
“See you then.”
“Bye.”
I let my eyes close for only a second. But it was a beautiful second.
I straightened my back and walked toward the building.
Max Harrison’s office smelled like the back of the collections section of the library. Books were piled on every surface. There were leather-bound law volumes from every state. Some appeared to never have been opened.
I sat in a chair facing Max’s desk, while he searched for his evaluation form with my name on it.
“Found it!” he held it up.
I smiled.
“So tell me, Emily, how would you describe your first weeks at American?”
“Good. It’s been great. Everyone has been fantastic to work with.” I pinned on another grin.
“And your classes? How are those going?”
I nodded. “My students are great. I have no complaints.”
“And clinic? You’re in women’s issues. How is that going?”
Before I spit out “great” again, I paused. “Challenging,” I answered.
Max looked up. “Explain. What do you mean?”
“I don’t want this to sound like a complaint, but the clinic is severely understaffed. We can’t help everyone who needs it.”
“I see. And?” He pulled the tip of his goatee.
“Some days are more frustrating than others,” I admitted. “I might see five new clients, only to leave the office with ten who are waiting when we lock the office. Sometimes I don’t think I can make a dent. We need more help. More people are needed to help at the women’s clinic.”
“Have you visited any of the other clinics we run?” he asked.
“No. I’m embarrassed to say I haven’t made the time.”
“Don’t be embarrassed. I was asking out of curiosity.” He leaned forward. “They’re all like that. All of them.”
“All?”
He nodded. “We’re offering free legal services. All our clinics have record numbers of clients. And yes, we offer something special to a population of people who wouldn’t have help otherwise, but we’re overrun with a lot of cases that take up our time that maybe shouldn’t.”
I shook my head. “I haven’t found that to be true. All the women I’ve seen have needed help.”
He smiled. “I’m glad to hear that, Emily. Truly.” He scribbled something on my form and I wondered if it was “sucker.” “Do you have any questions for me? Need anything other than more attorneys at your disposal?” He made a jab at my expense.
“No. I’m fine. Thank you.”
“All right. I’ll see you for our next meeting.”
I stood to leave. I didn’t feel as if I had impressed Max Harrison or learned anything valuable for the program. I should have said something about how much I loved what I did. That I loved my class and the mentees. That working in the clinic was the most rewarding experience of my life. That I was preparing a huge case because of Lana Foley and what she had been through. But instead, I waited for Max to dismiss me.
“Bye.” I waved and closed the door behind me.
Maybe next month. I could always say more next month.
11
I held Vaughn’s hand as he led me down a narrow staircase to a green door that was below street level. I was careful not to tip forward on my pointy heels. His fingers rubbed against mine and I shivered remembering how intimately we had touched last night. How I had given myself to him in a way that still made me feel raw and vulnerable. He touched the inside of my wrist with his thumb and I realized how much I liked the feelings.
The vulnerability somehow made me trust him more. I couldn’t explain it. I was in his hands in every sense of the word.
The hostess smiled when Vaughn gave his name for the reservation. She guided us through tables until we were seated in a back corner. It was dark and private.
“How was your day?” he asked.
He had dressed in simple charcoal pants and a white shirt. He still had a tan even though it was fall.
“I added eight clients to my caseload.”
“Is that a good thing for you? Sorry, I don’t know much about what it is you do.”
“It’s a little overwhelming,” I admitted. “I didn’t get eight new cases a week back home. This is a different world.” I paused. “But it does mean eight women who need help will get it. And the more cases I take, the more it adds to my portfolio at the clinic. All good things.” I smiled.
“Is that your end game? To build up your resume here?”
“Yes and no.”
He held the wine list close to the candle in the center of the table.
I continued, “When I moved here, it was with every intention to get one of the open spots.”
“And now?” He closed the wine book and looked at me.
“The last few weeks have opened my eyes. I’m embarrassed to say that.”
“What embarrasses you?”
“Thinking about where I started in law school and where I ended up.”
He cocked his head sideways. “I don’t follow.”
“I’ve spent the last few years doing the most boring type of law on the planet. Not following my true interests. Settling for less than what I saw for myself.” I didn’t know where the confession had come from. “And even though I’m helping people now, I realize I wasted time not doing it. I stuck my head in the sand and let other things distract me. I was so naïve.”
“But you’re here now.”
“Yes. I am.”
We sat back in our chairs when the waiter came to take our order. Vaughn ordered a bottle of red wine and dismissed him quickly.
“Any regrets about moving?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No.” It was the first time I was confident in my answer since I moved. “I think this is where I’m supposed to be.”
“D.C. has a way of growing on people.”
“What about you? How long have you been here?”
He ran his thumb over his bottom lip and moved his elbows when the waiter returned with our wine.
“Five years. I moved for the job and haven’t thought about going anywhere else.”
I reached for my glass of wine.
“There’s something to be said for finding a place you like.”
He nodded. “If my job moves me, then I’ll worry about that then.”
“Is that a possibility?” There was a needle of fear with that idea. Even if it was too soon to have that feeling.
“In my line of work it’s always a possibility.”
“You make it sound like you could get a transfer at any point.”
“No. It’s not that serious. I shouldn’t have made it sound like that. I just know no
t to get too attached. Guys in this business move a lot. I’m one of the lucky ones to have been in the same place for so long.”
“Lending sounds unpredictable.” I gulped the wine.
He smirked. “Different from day to day.”
“And you like it? It’s what you want to do?” I remembered the night we first met he had told me he used to be in the Navy.
“Does anyone really want the job they have? Present company excluded, of course.” He winked. “It’s interesting. I make plenty of money. I’m not out saving the world like you, and I’m ok with that.”
I giggled slightly. “I never said I was saving the world.”
“Just take the compliment.”
I blushed. “Ok. I save the world.”
“That’s better.”
We ate by candlelight. Somewhere in the front of the restaurant was the sound of an accordion. Vaughn was right about how authentic it was. The food was delicious—so was my date.
I thought we would take a car back to my place after dinner but Vaughn wanted to walk. Sometimes I got the feeling he had a restless side. He liked being outside more than in.
“Are you cold?” he asked.
“A little.” I rubbed my arms.
“Here.” He took his jacket off and draped it around my shoulders. His body heat the jacket held was warm against my skin. It smelled distinctly like him. I inhaled.
“Thank you.”
We strolled along the sidewalk. I held my clutch in one palm as Vaughn took my other hand in his. I felt the fire as our hands touched and our fingers mingled.
I struggled for something to say. Vaughn seemed comfortable not saying much. That’s what the silent broody types did. They wallowed in the silence. I studied his profile as we walked. It was half-clipped in shadows.
I measured time by the click-clack of my heels.
Vaughn stopped. “Want to try this place?”
I looked at the bar he nodded toward. It wasn’t very busy.
“Sure. A night cap sounds good.”
He held the door for me as he ushered me inside. There was a baseball game on one of the overhead screens.
“I’ll order for us.” He squeezed me into a booth with leather seats. “Do you want another glass of wine?”