by Violet Paige
He kissed my knee and pushed it to the sheet.
“You’re my siren. My drug.” He looked up at me through those long lashes. “My addiction.”
I ran my hands through his hair.
I hadn’t been able to drink him away. I hadn’t been able to erase him. Or forget him. My anger had turned to grief. I had felt rage and pity. Humiliation and disbelief. The last weeks of my life were a maze of alcohol and loneliness. I had held on to the belief that I wasn’t the con. The magic I felt was real. It was tangible and powerful. It wasn’t an illusion or a scam. Everything between Vaughn and me was the kind of fire people dreamed about. Wrote about. We had it. It was here in this bed.
And that’s when I realized I couldn’t let him leave. Ever.
30
I watched Vaughn get dressed. I loved that he looked good wearing crisp white shirts or T-shirts. The idea slipped in that it helped him in his job. He was a chameleon.
I fluffed my wet hair with a towel. The shower had felt good.
“We need to go over the details,” he announced. He secured his belt.
“What details? Because I wanted to talk to you about what kind of counsel you should get. I think it’s best if we meet with someone before you turn yourself in.”
“Em, that’s not happening.”
I dropped the towel. “Of course it is. It’s the only way. You said you aren’t leaving without me. And I can’t pretend that it’s ok if you leave. This is the best option. I can use my connections at the law school. We’ll find an amazing attorney.”
“Just stop.” He held up his hand. “There is another way.”
He reached into his back pocket and handed me a passport.
I examined the cover and flipped it open.
“Holy shit. That’s me.” I looked at him. “Vanessa Thorne? What is this? Who did this? Is this real?”
“That is your new identity. I liked the name. I didn’t have a lot of options. You can’t be selective when it comes to creating a person who doesn’t exist.”
I dropped the document. “You bought a fake passport for me?”
“It’s more complicated than that, but yes. It’s a new identity. It’s not fake. Vanessa Thorne now exists. You look very real to me.”
I sat on the bed. “I can’t believe this. I can’t believe you would think this is even a possibility.” I traced the golden eagle on the front of the passport.
“It’s the reality of the situation. I told you I wasn’t leaving without you. How else did you think we’d leave the country together?”
My mouth hung open. “We aren’t supposed to leave the country. We’re supposed to use the law to get you out of this. We come up with a plea deal. I can talk to Agent Kenneth. We’ll trade evidence and information.”
“I don’t think you understand what I’m saying.”
I blinked. “This isn’t possible. I can’t run.”
He took my hands in his. “You won’t be running. You’ll be living.”
“I don’t know enough. I don’t know how this works.” My eyes lifted to his. “I suppose you have a new name too?”
He shook his head. “I haven’t yet decided on this trip. I thought I’d let you choose for me. It seemed fair since I picked Vanessa.”
“I don’t know who you are,” I whispered.
“You do know me. You know who I am. Look at me, Em.”
I met his gaze.
“Do you trust me?”
God, I knew I should say no. That I didn’t trust anything about him. He was a liar and a criminal. He had evaded authorities and betrayed his country. But I did know him. I knew his soul and he knew mine.
“I don’t know how to call you another name. To switch back and forth like this.”
“Then don’t. I’m Vaughn. I’m yours. That’s all that matters.” He traced my lip with his thumb. “Just make sure not to use that one in public.”
“Oh God,” I uttered.
“It will be easier than you think. You’ll get used to it.”
“But what about my life?” I looked around my tiny room. It was dawning on me what all of this meant. There was more at stake than slipping up on false names.
“You can visit it sometime.”
“It’s almost Thanksgiving. My mom will freak out.” I was grasping at the most insignificant details.
“Moms do that anyway.”
“And my job? The students? My classes?” I gawked at him. “I have cases and clients who depend on me. And what about Greer? I just walk out on the lease and leave her with the apartment?”
He eyed me. “She has Preston.”
“I have a huge case. With Lana. You met her. She’s counting on me to help her.”
He brushed my hair away from my face. “She will be in good hands. I admit, not as good as if you were her attorney, but still she will be taken care of. They all will. You have to put yourself first for a change.”
“And I should just walk away from the faculty position? Abandon my mentees?”
He smiled. “Let Addie have it.”
It was a long shot I’d get the position anyway. I had made certain of that with my last meeting with Max.
“Garrett?” I looked at him. “Oh God, he would think I abandoned him again.”
“I thought he was in a good place right now. I think he would want you to do something good for yourself.”
This was insane. The actual definition of insanity lay in the fake passport I held in my palm. I wasn’t this person.
“I’m not a criminal, Vaughn. I protect the good. I go after the bad guys. That’s why I’m an attorney. That’s why I put in so many hours at the clinic. It’s why I moved to D.C. It’s why I’m at American. I’m not a thief. I’ve never committed a crime—ever.” I felt the panic boiling just under my skin. I didn’t know if I could breathe. “What you’re asking is … crazy. It’s impossible. It’s … it’s … is it treason? Am I a traitor too?” My eyes were frenzied.
“Hold on. Hold on.” He gripped my shoulders. “Drink this.” He put a glass of water in my hand. “Take some breaths. We can slow this down a second.”
I did as he told me.
“Better?” he asked.
“Yes.” My pulse was under control. I felt less likely to faint. The cold water and deep breaths seem to steady me enough.
“Ok. Listen to me. I’m not offering you a job at Blackwing. That’s not what I do. I’m not asking you to be a thief, as you so kindly call me. And, yes I am asking you to leave your D.C. life, but I’m offering you a new one. One that I’m in. You will get to see your family again. You will get to go home. But I don’t know when. What I know is that we’ll be together. And as far as I’m concerned that’s the only fucking thing that matters. Do you get that? It’s all that matters.”
Could I do this? Could I give up my life? Was there a side of me that Vaughn saw that I couldn’t see? Did he truly believe I could create a new identity? I had to find the answers because the alternative was to go back to the darkness. To live in pain without him. To forever know that I turned him away. That I made the choice to end our story.
“I can’t un-love you,” I answered.
“Neither can I.”
I took an expansive breath. “And if I don’t accept your offer?” I searched his eyes.
“I won’t ask a second time.”
31
Thanksgiving had never been my favorite holiday. It always felt as if it were an exaggerated Sunday. Too much football. Everything in the South was closed. It was a day my parents were forced to stay in the house together and celebrate the family they had created. My grandparents would drive over for the day.
Inevitably something would burn. Whether it was the crust on the pumpkin pie or the gravy my mother forgot was on the stove. And who knew how Garrett would handle the day.
When we were kids he would rather be outside on the swing set than inside with the bickering and wafting smells of turkey. I would wander out to find him. If I could sneak it, I’d pl
ay too, but I had to be careful not to let one of the monogrammed dresses my mother had bought get dirty. That was always a problem.
I didn’t think this year would be any different. Everything was planned. Garrett was bringing Morgan. My grandparents would drive for the afternoon. And at some point my father would call and ask if Garrett and I wanted to come over for a cocktail. I would take pity on him and confiscate leftovers to take to him. My mother had so many plastic containers she wouldn’t notice if a few were missing. It didn’t seem right that he didn’t have turkey and gravy on Thanksgiving.
But this year was different.
Unprecedented.
I looked up from my book at the waves lapping the shore of the speckled white and brown beach. They made a gentle rippling sound.
My jaw dropped when Vaughn emerged from one of the waves. His body dripped with salt water. He held snorkeling flippers in one hand as he shoved the mask to the top of his head. He grinned.
“How’s the book?”
He shook his head, spraying water over my hot skin.
“Hey,” I squealed. “You’re getting me all wet.”
“Always the plan.” He sat next to me, dropping his gear in the sand. “Is it any good?” He pointed to the paperback in my hands.
“Do you know the last time I read a book that wasn’t full of legal briefs?” I mused.
“So that means it’s good?”
I nodded, laughing. “Yes. It’s very good.”
“Good.” He planted a kiss on my lips. I moaned, tasting the salt on his lips.
“Do that again,” I purred.
“Like this?” He pressed his mouth against mine, dipping his tongue inside, twisting and flicking until I was coming undone in the chaise. I wanted more.
“Yes, like that,” I answered breathily. “Want to know what it’s about?”
“Maybe I’ll read it when you are done. Tell me.” His eyes raked over the string bikini I wore. It was new. Vaughn had bought it for me at a boutique in the village.
“It’s about this man who moves to Africa to go into the diamond business, but ends up falling in love with this woman and they become diamond thieves.”
His eyebrows rose. “That’s what you’re reading.”
“From legal reviews to diamond heists.” I dragged my teeth across my lip.
He leaned down for another earth-shattering kiss. “I could see you as a sexy diamond burglar.”
I laughed. “I don’t think so.” I eyed him cautiously.
He quickly changed the subject. “I found something for you.”
“You did? Out there?”
He reached into the pocket of his board shorts. “It made me think of you.” He patted a piece of coral into my palm.
“I’ve never seen one with so many colors. Thank you.”
He moved over to the empty chair next to me. “I’m glad you like it. It’s not a stolen diamond.” He winked before sliding on a pair of sunglasses.
“What do you think your family is doing today?” I looked at him. He was seemingly relaxed. He had been the entire vacation.
“Probably playing football, watching football, and talking about football.”
“I’m guessing they are a big football family.”
“Yes. Are you thinking about your family?” He rolled on his side to face me.
“It’s hard not to. It’s Thanksgiving. It doesn’t feel like it. We’re on a tropical island. It’s hot and the sun is blistering. But everywhere else but here that’s what people are doing. They’re sitting down with a turkey and all of the sides. They have on sweaters and boots. Not bikinis and sunscreen.”
“Do you miss them?” he asked.
“I can’t believe it after everything that has happened with them this year, but yes—I do. That’s what happens at the holidays, right?” I paused. I didn’t want to hurt him. I’d made my choice. I chose him over them. But at what point did what I share become too much?
“And you’re wondering if that will ever be us?” He cut right to the point I hadn’t been brave enough to make.
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Will it?”
Was today the first break in traditions I had honored my entire life? How many times after this would I disappoint my mom or Garrett? Was every birthday or Christmas missed the last chip to unravel my brother?
“We can sit and have turkey. Do you want turkey today? I can make that happen. I will order a huge turkey for you. Is twenty pounds enough? What about mashed potatoes?”
I laughed. “It’s not about turkey or potatoes.”
The sun sparkled on the horizon. I didn’t think I had ever seen water this blue before. There were sailboats with tall white sails billowing over the waves. This vacation had been a complete picture of paradise. Vaughn had spared no expense. Our tickets were first class. Our bungalow was ocean front. We had fresh fruit and chilled champagne in the room twenty-four seven. I was living out an unbelievable fantasy with an unbelievable man.
“If it’s not about the turkey, what is it, Em?”
“Will I ever take you home for the holidays? Will we ever have that awkward first night at my mom’s house when she gets all weird about us staying in the same room together? Will I ever meet your football obsessed family?” I looked at him. “Do we ever get to have any of that?”
“I don’t know how to answer that.” He reached across the chair and placed his hand on my thigh. “I can tell you that this is only the beginning.”
I put my hand on his. “The beginning?”
“The beginning of us.”
I leaned into the chaise. God, I loved how that sounded, even more because Vaughn was the one saying it.
One of the waiters passed by our cabana and Vaughn stopped him to place an order.
“Can you bring us two coconut mojitos?”
The kid ran back to the bar to put in the drink order.
“Are we celebrating our turkey day with cocktails instead?” I teased.
He pulled the aviators down. “No, we’re celebrating that I have a drop to pick up.”
“A drop?” I barely knew what that meant. “What? Now? So soon? I thought we were going to be on vacation for a while.”
We stopped talking when the young waiter returned. I had to admit the drinks looked delicious. Bits of coconut and mint floated in the crushed ice. For a second I had forgotten Vaughn had told me he had a mission to steal something.
“Cheers.” Vaughn toasted my glass.
“Cheers.” I took a sip. “Where are you going?” I whispered.
“I pick up the file tomorrow.”
I gulped the drink. “Where? Where do you pick it up?”
“Have you ever been to France?” He raised his eyebrows.
“Holy shit. This is happening.” I finished the drink in another few swallows.
“It’s going to be ok, sweetheart. Trust me. I’ve got this.” He sat back in the chair and held his drink.
It was pointless to ask him what the assignment would be. He wouldn’t know until he received the drop. I had to resist the urge to pry for answers. What if it was something that endangered the United States? What if it put him in danger to get it?
I pulled the brim of my sun hat over my face and closed my eyes. The sun warmed my body. Vaughn’s hand slipped further up my thigh. I didn’t think he could help it. I focused on his touch instead of the moral apocalypse happening in my soul. It wasn’t the first time I had done it since we left DC.
I wondered how long it would take for everyone to figure out I was gone. I had told my mom I had to stay and work a case. I had left messages for everyone at school and in the office that I had gone home for longer than expected. Greer had no idea I was on a tropical island with Vaughn or that I had let him back in.
I couldn’t compare it to her reconciliation with Preston. And she wouldn’t understand.
Agent Kenneth would know. When I didn’t show up for our continued conversation, he would know exactly what had happened. I ha
d a week at most before the search began. Before I was labeled a criminal. An outlaw.
And just like I had gone through the details with Agent Kenneth, I had to replay my bureau conversations with Vaughn. If they thought they were close to apprehending him, we had to stay one step ahead. Because now I was aiding and traveling with a fugitive. Most of that time I had been in a fog, but I did my best to remember the questions. To remember the points Agent Kenneth harped on the most. There had to be a pattern. Something Vaughn could use.
The good girl had turned bad.
Today I was Vanessa Thorne. I didn’t know who I would be when we reached France. I couldn’t call Vaughn by a different name. I had tried to say Jeremy or West, but it didn’t feel right on my tongue. And when we were in bed, I belonged to Vaughn Hunter. So I was only going to belong to Vaughn Hunter.
“I don’t think I can sleep out here in this heat.” He stretched his arms overhead and sat forward. “Want to head inside with me?”
I looked at my book and at my insanely hot boyfriend. A man shrouded in mystery and darkness. A man I loved despite the law. Despite morals and ethics. Despite my broken heart. I loved him desperately.
“Depends. Are you going to let me read?” I clutched the book to my chest. “I want to see if they make it out with the diamonds.”
“Is it a love story?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Then they do.”
“You don’t know that. I have to keep reading to find out,” I protested.
He laughed. “If you think you can tell me no once we get inside, I’ll let you read. You read as much as you want.”
“I think that’s a challenge I’m willing to accept.” I pulled a sarong off the back of my chair and tied it to my waist.
I ran ahead of him, my feet kicking up sand as I squealed. Vaughn was right behind me, trying to catch me.
I reached our ocean side cottage, just as he spun me and pressed me against the door. His mouth caught mine, turning it upward for a kiss.
I dropped the book on the ground next to our feet. It hit the wooden porch with a thud.
“Already done reading?” He lifted me. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he kicked the door open.