"Why not? No one's looking at us. They're all staring at the Prince."
"Then why aren't you staring? I understand he's extremely taken with you."
"Don't you start that too!"
"Who else has been saying it?" he demanded.
"My fairy stepmother," she said with an effort at lightness, but saw no answering humour in the blue eyes watching her.
"I thought she was watching you like a lynx when you came in tonight."
"That's because we quarrelled yesterday and I haven't spoken to her much today."
Gavin came a step closer. "What did you quarrel about?"
She was reluctant to tell him. "Why do two women usually quarrel?"
"Over a man," he said carefully, and came even closer. "Tell me about the quarrel, Sara."
"Not now."
He looked as if he were about to say more, but before he could do so, Jane and Mike were upon them. Jane looked particularly young in a pink satin dress, and Sara's eyes moved across to Helen, who wore an almost identical shade of pink yet managed to look the picture of sophisticated elegance. She saw Mike watching Helen too, an odd expression on his face, which remained there as he turned and looked at Gavin. Sara felt something was passing between the two men, but then Gavin averted his head and all she could see was his long straight nose and firm mouth, the high forehead and the cap of jet black hair.
"I didn't realise there would be so many people here," Jane said happily. "What time is dinner?"
"All you think about is food," her husband interposed. "I thought eating for two was just a myth."
"I've a feeling I'm eating for three."
"Not twins!" Sara gasped.
"I'm joking. Anyway, one can't tell at such an early stage."
"Twins run in our family, Mike," Gavin said, his voice jerky. "It would make up for lost time if Jane carried on the pattern."
"It would certainly make up for lost time when I think of all the wasted years," his sister said.
"Don't," her brother said swiftly. "Think of all the happy years ahead."
Jane gave him a tearful smile and glanced at Sara. "I think this baby is making me rather edgy. Until now I've always prided myself on being the phlegmatic type."
"Then make the most of your pregnancy," Sara joked. "They say it's the only time when husbands are sympathetic."
"Mike is always sympathetic." Jane linked her arm through his and momentarily leaned her head against his shoulder.
Looking at them both Sara wished she could be as demonstrative with Gavin. She gave him a sidelong glance. He was the most handsome man in the room and made everyone appear insignificant by comparison.
"Your father is looking this way," Gavin murmured. "I rather think duty is calling you."
"So do I," she sighed. "Unfortunately we aren't sitting together at dinner, but I will see you afterwards, won't I?"
"Need you ask?"
"It's just that you looked at me so oddly before."
"Oh, Sara," he whispered, "don't wear your heart on your sleeve the way you do. You're making it so difficult for me."
"Why? The other night you said there was nothing wrong."
"Please… Go from me, your father wants you."
For Sara the evening was a tormented one, made more difficult by the Prince's preference for her company, which made it impossible for her to leave him.
"You're fun to be with," he confessed. "You don't treat me as if I'm any different from you and you poke fun at things. Most of the girls I know are always on edge with me."
"Not from some of the photographs I've seen," Sara laughed.
"You can't always go by photographs." Sedately he moved her across the floor, giving a brief glance to the orchestra in the corner. "What are the chances of our sneaking off later on to a livelier place?"
"Quite good for you on your own," she said, "but if I encourage you my father would be livid."
"I can't imagine your father getting livid with anyone."
The Prince glanced at Sir William, who was talking to a group of diplomats. Helen was not with them and Sara's eyes roamed the room in search of her and saw her dancing with Gavin. They were deep in conversation and the way in which he twirled her round the floor spoke of temper. Why were they quarrelling? Sara wondered, but had no chance to ponder on it, for the Prince was talking again.
It was several dances later before she was able to excuse herself and she looked around the floor for Gavin and saw him talking to Mike, both of them intent.
"There you are, Sara." It was her father. "The evening is a great success, isn't it?"
She nodded. "The dinner was marvellous."
"You must thank Helen for that." He made a slight face. "The trouble is I haven't the digestion for it these days; rich sauces play havoc with me."
"It was all the different wines," Sara said unsympathetically. "I watched you knocking back the glasses."
Her father laughed. "And to think I came to you for sympathy!" He pulled another face. "I'd better go up and get my tablets."
"Is it really that bad?" Belatedly Sara remembered her father had once had ulcers and though he had not complained of them for a long time, they could well have occurred again through stress. "I'll get them for you," she said guiltily.
"No, my dear, it will only take me a moment to get them myself - they're in my room."
"I know where you keep them," she replied, and sped away to fetch them before he could prevent her.
CHAPTER SIX
It was the first time Sara had been in her father's room since his marriage to Helen, and because of her own physical awareness of Gavin she was embarrassingly self- conscious of her father's relationship with his young bride and, rummaging in his bedside table, felt like an interloper.
The tablets she was looking for were not in the drawer and she went to search in the bathroom cabinet. They were not there either and she paused by the bed, trying to think where else he could have put them. Her father had always kept the pills close at hand, for he complained that it was at night when he felt most in need of them.
Without giving herself time to think she crossed the carpet and opened the communicating door that led to Helen's room. Here too the bedside lamps were lit, though they cast their glow on far more opulence than in Sir William's room and it smelled heavily of the scent she used. The bedcover had been turned down and a flimsy nightdress lay across one pillow. Sara glanced at it and then quickly turned to the bedside tables. But the pills were not there either and she went back into her father's room for a second search. She was by his dressing-table when she heard Helen's voice and, glancing over her shoulder, saw she had left the communicating door ajar.
"You can cut the pretence now," Helen was saying. "No one is going to come up here and disturb us."
"By all means let's be honest"
It was a man's voice, and Sara, in the act of moving over to close the door, stopped dead. Why had Gavin come to Helen's room?
"For heaven's sake, Gavin," Helen was speaking again. "Must you be so innocent about the whole thing? What's done can't be undone. If you could accept that, your life would be much easier."
"I know that things can't be undone," Gavin replied. "I merely don't want them to continue. What good will it do you to make trouble?"
"I have no intention of making trouble. I just don't intend to be discarded like an old dress."
"At least you can't pretend you're in love," Gavin said violently.
"Why should I pretend? It's the intrigue that I like. I find it exciting."
"Well, I don't."
"Naturally not. You have more to lose than I have."
"Don't you care about Sir William?"
"Him least of all."
"Your position, then? That's one of the reasons you married him, isn't it?"
"I've learned my lesson," came the retort. "Position means nothing to me, Gavin, it's having money that counts. Enough money to do as I like. Even if I leave William I'd still be rich. He
isn't the type to leave his wife destitute."
"Even if he knew you'd been having an affair with another man?"
"Even if he knew." Helen's voice was rich as cream. "William belongs to the old school. He'd never discard his responsibilities."
Gavin gave an exclamation and his steps could be heard moving heavily across the carpet. Sara knew she should leave her father's room, but she was powerless to move, held rooted there by horror.
"Let's not waste time talking, Helen," it was Gavin again. "Give me back the letter."
"No?"
"Why not? What satisfaction will you get by ruining her happiness? She's never done you any harm."
"She's been cherished," Helen said venomously. "All her life she's been cared for and protected. That's more than enough to make me hate her!"
"How can you hate someone who has never done you any harm?"
"She's got the man I want! Can't you understand that?"
"I can never understand vengeance," Gavin said heavily. "When a love affair is over, it's over."
"For you, maybe," Helen grated, "but not for me."
"Give me the letter," he said again.
"Never!"
There was the sound of his steps and then Helen's lighter ones as she ran across the room. "You needn't bother looking for it," she taunted. "You'll never find it."
"It has to be somewhere here," he said.
There was a sound of drawers opening, of objects being thrown to the ground.
"Get out!" Helen cried. "Get out or I'll call one of the servants!"
"And cause a scandal in front of the Prince? Even you wouldn't do that." He crossed to the other side of the room and there was the sound of more drawers opening and then an exclamation of triumph.
"Give it back to me!" Helen's voice was a high-pitched scream, and Sara winced as though each word was a knife being dug into her. "Give it back to me, Gavin!"
"Never!" There was a sound of paper tearing and another scream from Helen.
"You won't stop the truth coming out by destroying the letter. I'll see her now and tell her the whole story."
"She won't believe you," Gavin stated. "I'll tell her you're making it up because you're so unhappy yourself you can't bear to see another woman in love."
"She'll still believe me." Helen was sobbing now, harsh strident sobs. "I'll make her believe me! I won't let you get away with this. I'll pay you back if it's the last thing I do!"
"There's nothing you can do," Gavin said. "Accept the fact that you've lost."
"No, she hasn't!" Sara said. She was not aware of having gone to the communicating door until she had actually pushed it wider and stood on the threshold. Her eyes took in the scene: Gavin by the bed, shreds of blue paper around him like confetti, and Helen clutching at him, her face contorted.
"Sara!" Gavin's voice was incredulous. "How long have you been there?"
"Long enough to hear everything you said." She looked at her stepmother. "You needn't worry, Helen, you've got your revenge - if that's what you wanted."
Swinging round, Sara ran to the door, but before she could open it, Helen was there, blocking her exit.
"Are you going to tell your father?"
"No."
It was an effort for Sara to speak, but she had to make her intentions clear. "Tell him what you like… I'm not your conscience. I doubt if you have one."
"I've never been able to afford it!" Helen said viciously. "So don't stand there like a prig, condemning me."
"Do you want me to applaud you? You're my father's wife and you've been having an affair with the man I - "
Tears constricted her throat, but Helen finished the sentence for her.
"With the man you love?"
"Helen!" Gavin thundered. "Haven't you done enough damage?" He strode towards Sara. "Darling, listen to me."
"No!"
Without waiting to hear any more Sara pushed past Helen and raced down the corridor. Reaching her bedroom, she rushed in and locked the door, then went to the far side of the room, as if afraid to stand near it. What a disastrous end to an evening which had held such high hopes for her! And how ironic that her premonition of disaster had been for herself and not her father.
The sharp rap of knuckles on the door made her give a gasp of fear. There was no need to ask who it was. Only one person would knock so peremptorily.
"Go away!" she cried. "I don't want to see you."
"I've got to talk to you." Gavin's voice was pitched low in order not to be audible to anyone who might be coming along the corridor. "Open the door and let me in."
"No!"
"Open the door," he repeated.
Afraid that unless she did he would cause a commotion, she slowly turned the key in the lock. At once Gavin stepped through the door and closed it. He was pale and a lock of black hair fell across his forehead, giving him a dishevelled look which Sara, even in a state of turmoil, found unbearably heartrending.
"You've got to listen to me, Sara." Now he was alone with her, his voice was less controlled and the words came out quickly. "I know what you think, and you're wrong. There's nothing between Helen and me."
"Is that why you went to her room? Why you told her it was all over?"
"I wasn't - "
"Don't lie to me I" she cried. "I heard every word you said. You pleaded with her to end it. You begged her not to spoil things for you."
"Not for me, Sara."
"For me, then?" she flared. "Because you had my happiness at heart?"
"Would it surprise you if I had?"
"I suppose not. After all, I can be quite important to a man if he's interested in money and position." Her expression was derisive. "I'm a good catch, aren't I? Young enough to be malleable and with an impeccable background and a father who can be of inestimable help to an ambitious young man. And if that isn't enough - a fortune to go with it - and all in my own name, so no one can stop me from giving it to anyone I like. Yes, I suppose I could be important to you."
Gavin's eyes glittered like blue lamps. "You don't mean a word of that. You're in a temper and you don't know what you're saying."
"I know what I saw! You can't fool me any longer, Gavin. You've been acting strangely for weeks, but I wasn't sure why. Now it all falls into place. You were worried in case my father or I found out you were having an affair with Helen!"
"I never had an affair with her. Don't be a fool, Sara!" He took a step forward, arms outstretched, but she recoiled from him as though he were a snake.
"Don't touch me I You're mad if you think you can go on fooling me. I heard you searching for the letter you'd written her. I saw you tear it up!"
"Not my letter," he cried. "Mike's!"
"Mike?" She echoed the word as though it made no sense.
"Mike's," Gavin reiterated. "I went to Helen to plead for Mike, not for myself."
"Why you?" Sara was hesitant. "Why - why couldn't he go himself?"
"Because he's frightened of Jane hearing about it. Can't you see what it would do to her? She might even lose the baby. That's why I went to see Helen. I'm telling you the truth, Sara. You've got to believe me."
"I'm not sure," Sara whispered. "I_____ I don't know any more. I saw you with her. I heard you."
"I was talking for Mike."
"Then let Mike tell me so." Sara was suddenly galvanised into action. "Take me to Mike and let him tell me." She ran to the door, but as she went to wrench it open Gavin pulled her hand away from the handle.
"Mike can't talk to you now," he said harshly. "What do you want to do - cause a scene in front of everyone?"
"Then bring him here!"
"How can I get him away from Jane without her suspecting something is wrong?"
"I don't care howl" Sara flared. "Just do it!"
"Not tonight. Be reasonable, Sara."
"I am being reasonable. I'm sure you can find an excuse to get Mike away from Jane for a few minutes. Tell her it's business."
"Very well. Meet me in the
garden in a quarter of an hour and I'll bring him out to you."
"That won't do," Sara said clearly. "I'm coming with you." His eyes widened and she plunged on. "We'll go and find Mike together. I'm not giving you the chance to be alone with him first, so that you can brief him what to tell me."
Gavin's jaw clamped tight. "In other words you judge me guilty until I prove my innocence." He saw the answer in her face and his anger grew. "You're a fine one to talk about feelings! You don't even begin to know the meaning of the word. Do you think I would have any doubts about you if the position was reversed? You say you love me, but you're only too willing to see me as a fortune-hunter out to marry you to further my career and my bank balance! Well, if that's what you think of me, then - "
"I think you used me as a front," she said recklessly. "As a cover-up for your affair with Helen I It was a wonderful opportunity when I fell for you, wasn't it? Did you fall in with me and thank your lucky stars or did you engineer it? Perhaps you and Helen even set it up together!"
"We didn't need to," he exclaimed furiously. "You made your feelings obvious from the start."
Mortification flicked her like a leather whip, rousing her to unprecedented fury. "What a coup it would have been if you could have married me. Then you'd have had the daughter as well as the wife!"
"You're cra2y!" He gripped her and shook her violently. "You're crazy with temper and you don't know what you're saying. In the morning you'll regret it."
"Never!"
"Yes, you will, and then you'll come running after me to apologise."
"If you wait for that, you'll wait for ever."
"Then I'll wait for ever. I love you, Sara, but I'm not going to waste my time trying to make you see sense when you've temporarily lost yours." He pushed her away from him and strode out, closing the door sharply behind him.
Disbelievingly Sara remained where she was, hoping he would come back and plead with her again; that he would take her to see Mike. But the door stayed shut and the only sound that came to her was the music from the ballroom, where people were still dancing. Was it only half an hour since she had gone in search of her father's pills? So much had happened that it seemed as if a lifetime had elapsed. With a shudder she sank on to the bed. The accusations she had hurled at Gavin echoed in her brain and horrified her with their malevolence. How could she have spoken to him like that? She loved him. The least she should have done was to listen to him before losing her temper. Yet he had deceived her. He was having a love affair with Helen, and had only decided to end it because she herself was the better catch.
Roberta Leigh - Too Young To Love Page 8