by Lee, Sue
“Well, I wouldn’t have sued you. MS has pretty good disability accidental death and dismemberment insurance,” I said with a facetious smile. “And even if I wanted to go after you, I didn’t have your name.” I shrugged and gave him an innocent smile. “Thank you for my drink.” I was mentally doing a little happy dance. Even though he knew both of our dinner plans had been cancelled, he had ordered a drink to continue talking to me. Score! Thanks for bailing, sis.
He chuckled at my response. “You know, it really is a huge coincidence that you’re here tonight. I was in 36 earlier, and I swear that I saw you in the cafeteria. Were you there today?”
“Um, no that wasn’t me.” Though, a part of me was pleased to know that I had been on his mind. I wondered if he frequently visited 36. Out of the 100+ buildings that made up the MS campus, he just happened to be in the building that I would be moving to for my new position. If he had business meetings there regularly, the thought of bumping into him in the future was a welcome thought, if not a bit distracting.
“Ever since the accident, I’ve been thinking about you, just hoping and wondering if you were okay. I was worried about some post-accident trauma or injury of some sort. When I hit you, I thought I had heard a thump and a crash.”
“You mean, other than my head?” I deadpanned.
His face turned pale and horror-stricken.
“I’m joking!” I laughed. “I’m just playing with you again.” Apparently, he didn’t think my friendly teasing was so funny. “The sound you heard was probably just my laptop.”
“Oh shit, sorry.” His face was full of genuine remorse, his eyes delightfully crinkled around the edges.
“It’s not horrible. It’s still functional, though I did have to tape the battery pack in the back of the machine to keep it in place. You actually did me a favor. I really needed to get a new machine anyways.” I realized I was babbling like an idiot, but couldn’t seem to make myself stop. I did that when I got nervous. I talked. A lot. “My manager had told me that he didn’t have budget to get me a new machine until the end of the fiscal year, but now I have an excuse to get a new one right away. Though come to think of it, my current manager probably won’t get me one now, since I just told him I’m moving to a new job.” Shut up already, Julia!
“God, I’m so sorry. I think I should be the one paying for you to get a new laptop,” he said with self-reproach.
He seemed really upset about all of this. I was starting to feel bad for giving him such a guilty conscience. “Would you please stop saying you’re sorry? Really, there was no harm done,” I said to reassure him one more time. “No skinned knees, nothing.” I almost leaned over to pat his thigh in comfort and stopped myself just in time. Why did I feel the need to console him so much? I remembered feeling this way just before I took off from the scene of the accident.
The bartender brought Ryan his gin and tonic and he took it distractedly, narrowing his eyes and studying my body, moving his eyes up and down. I started to feel more self-conscious under his gaze. I knew he was just looking at me to see if I had any visible bodily injuries, but I couldn’t help thinking that he was actually checking me out at the same time. I noticed his eyes stopped appreciatively in all the right places. He finally chuckled and gave in. “All right, I believe you,” he acquiesced with a satisfied smirk.
We both took another sip of our drinks. There was an awkward silence as I fingered the rim of my wine glass. I finally got up the courage to turn my head and peeked over at him. I sucked in my breath, finding him watching me intently.
Leaning in towards me so I could hear him over the building volume of the busy restaurant, he asked casually, “So, you must’ve gotten to the interview on time, right? Since you said you’re moving to a new job.”
“Yes, I did,” I said, feeling a little stunned that he recalled that detail. “I can’t believe you remembered.” I gave him a shy smile, flattered and a little embarrassed. “This was supposed to be my celebratory drink and dinner tonight, but as you can see, that didn’t quite turn out.”
“Well, congratulations then,” he said with calm enthusiasm and held up his glass to toast me. “Cheers! To Julia and her new job.”
I held up my glass and clinked his. I couldn’t help returning his smile. It felt great to have someone to celebrate this momentous occasion with, even if it was someone who was essentially a stranger; a hot stranger, at that.
Right on cue, the hostess approached me and politely interrupted. “Your table is ready.”
“Oh, um, actually, my friend cancelled on me. I’m not going to need the table anymore. You can give it to someone else,” I said regretfully.
Ryan interrupted our exchange. He nodded towards the hostess and asked, “Can you hold on a moment?” He then looked back at me with a curious smile. “It’s not even 6:30. You haven’t had dinner yet; I haven’t had dinner yet. We’ve both been stood up. You have a new job to celebrate. Since I hit you with my car and I totally owe you more than just this drink, what do you say we keep the table and have dinner together?”
Well, that was unexpected. I stared at him and blinked a few times, not knowing what to do. I raised one eyebrow and without much thought, I very tentatively nodded. What a surprise gesture.
He beamed, revealing his adorable dimples and straight white teeth. He was obviously pleased at the prospect of having dinner with me, a complete stranger, but how did I feel about having dinner with him? It was too late to back out now, when an attractive, sexy man just asked me to dinner. Don’t overthink this, Julia. Recognizing my good fortune, I shrugged. “Sounds great,” I said confidently, nodding and laughing quietly to myself
He looked back at the hostess to confirm what she had already overheard. “We’ll keep the table.”
I liked the sound of we. I liked his confidence more.
Ryan motioned his hand in front of him, allowing me to walk before him. We followed the hostess to a private corner table near the back of the restaurant. Ryan held out my chair like a gentleman and then sat himself on the booth side of the table against the wall.
Betty’s was one of my favorite restaurants. It was a great neighborhood bistro on top of Queen Anne hill, located in the shadow of the Space Needle. I loved the ambience; it was warm, inviting, and casual, but also elegant with a good wine selection. The room was dimly lit from candles glowing at each table. Sitting in the back corner with Ryan felt very private and intimate.
And as if Ryan could read my mind, he said, “I love this place. Have you been here before?”
“Yes, many times. I love it here. The food is always great, especially the shoestring fries,” I gushed.
He nodded in agreement. “Ah, yes! We should order the fries then.”
“My friends and I come here often. I live down in lower Queen Anne, off Taylor and Ward. What about you?”
“I live in Queen Anne, too. I’m on the west side, facing side of the hill on 9th Avenue.”
I did another little happy dance in my head, realizing we lived probably less than a mile from each other. Visions of carpooling together ran through my head. “Do you have a view, by chance?” I asked. It seemed like everyone had a view of the water from that side of the hill.
“Yeah, I do. It was one of the big selling points when I bought my house a few years ago.”
“That must be so great. I’m jealous. I just have a little two bedroom condo with a view of a parking lot. If you look really hard, just beyond it, I have a lovely view of Hwy 99 with Lake Union in the distance,” I said, feigning excitement and rolling my eyes.
He laughed. “Hey, a condo around here isn’t cheap, even one with a view of Hwy 99. You must be doing something right.”
I was pleasantly surprised by how he just turned my innocent comment into flattery.
“By the way, how old are you, anyways?”
“I’m twenty-nine. Why?”
“Just curious; you look younger than twenty-nine.”
People had always t
old me that, so I wasn’t too surprised or offended. “Fair game, then,” I warned. “How old are you?”
“I asked for that,” he said with a chuckle. “I’m an old man compared to you. I’m thirty-seven.”
“But you look good.” I made a show of looking him up and down. “No gray hair or anything,” I teased. My elbow was on the table and my fingers were resting on my chin. I contemplated his age. “I’ve never dated anyone more than a few years older than me. He looked really good for thirty-seven, very good. He gave middle age a whole new something to look forward to.”
He raised his eyebrows and blushed. “Thanks,” he said shyly.
Oh my God! Did I say that out loud? I instantly blushed and quickly covered my mouth with one of my hands. “Did I just say that?”
He rewarded my verbal misstep with a boyish grin. Those dimples were going to be the end of me. He was adorable. For an extremely handsome thirty-seven-year-old man, he was acting like bashful little boy. Maybe he wasn’t used to compliments. I would’ve thought he’d have women falling all over him.
That’s good, I supposed. Maybe he wasn’t a player then. I glanced down at his left hand and there was neither a ring nor any trace that anything had been there. Interesting. I always wondered why an attractive man in his late thirties or early forties was still unattached. In addition to his looks, he seemed charming and intelligent. He was gainfully employed, owned his own home, and by all appearances, was a normal, sane person. So why didn’t he have a girlfriend? Or a wife, for that matter? Maybe he was in between relationships like me … He wouldn’t have asked me to dinner if he had a girlfriend, right?
As I pondered these thoughts, our waitress arrived and asked if we were ready to order. Since we were both regulars here, neither of us needed to look at the menu; he ordered the rib eye steak with shoestring fries and I ordered the pan-roasted chicken.
After our waitress left, Ryan gave me a full smile. “So who were you supposed to meet here, before he or she bailed on you?”
“My sister, Anna. She’s getting married next month. She had some appointment come up at the last minute regarding her reception dinner menu.” My previous irritation with her had been replaced with gratitude. I’ll have to remember to thank her when I see her on Sunday.
“Are the two of you close?”
I nodded and decided to elaborate. “We’re twins, actually. Fraternal twins, so we look similar, but we’re not identical,” I added. People always needed to confirm the difference between fraternal versus identical. Adding this detail became habit over the years.
He raised his eyebrows in surprise or maybe curiosity. “What’s it like being a twin?”
This was a common question, whenever people learned I had shared a womb with my sister. I gave him my usual answer. “Well, we’re pretty different. She’s the pretty one, I’m the smart one. She’s the social butterfly, I’m reserved and quiet. She’s definitely more daring and spontaneous, whereas I’m more structured and conservative.”
He appeared to be studying me and didn’t respond right away. I could tell he was thinking through his response and it made me feel a little nervous and vulnerable to be under his thoughtful inspection. He narrowed his eyes. “Why do you say she’s the pretty one?”
Well, that certainly wasn’t the response I normally got. I stammered in my attempt to answer him. “Um, w-well, you know … she got all the boys growing up, and still does. Though, she’s getting married, so now she’s off the market.”
He scoffed. “Well, I don’t know her, and I only just met you, so I can’t completely judge here, but you don’t appear to be that reserved. Structured and conservative, I believe. You sort of have to be to work at MS. I think maybe you’re not giving yourself a fair shot against your sister. Maybe she’s just more outgoing than you are, so men might feel more comfortable approaching her, because you’re definitely pretty. You’re a knockout, actually.” He grinned broadly and made a point of looking me up and down with a goofy leer on his face. “The fact that you don’t seem to know this is what’s really sweet and refreshing about you.”
I gulped. Wow. I was momentarily speechless. My cheeks flushed and I sputtered a thank you. His words were flattering, and in an effort to hide my embarrassment, I felt the need to explain further. “You’re right about Anna. We actually chose to go to two different colleges and I think it was the best thing for me. We were terrified to split up, but it forced me to come out of my shell somewhat and it gave me some room to build my own confidence and become more independent. Not that I wasn’t before, but I recognized that I needed to find my own identity, without always falling into the familiar territory of being Anna’s twin sister. She really dominated our world more often than not, but I really am okay with it. I know it sounds disingenuous, but it’s the truth. She’s my twin sister. It’s just who we are. It’s not like we ever tried to hurt one another. We just truly accept each other as we are.”
Nodding, Ryan pondered my explanation. “Thanks for explaining that. I didn’t mean to judge. Like I said, I don’t know Anna. All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t sell yourself so short,” he said unapologetically.
I was glad the room was dimly lit, because I felt the flush build on my face as I took in his compliment. I didn’t know how to respond to what he had just said. In an effort to divert the attention back to him, I asked, “So, I told you who stood me up tonight; what about you? Who stood you up?”
He paused before answering. “A good friend.”
I noticed he shifted in his seat. I decided not to pry further, seeing his obvious discomfort. “Do you have any siblings?” I asked, changing the subject.
“Yeah, I have a sister a couple years younger than me. She’s a Product Manager at Amazon on the Kindle product.” He sounded proud of her.
“Are you guys close?” It was the same question he had asked me.
He nodded. “My mom, my sister, and I are a pretty tight. My mom still lives in Magnolia, which is where I grew up.” Ryan paused and I thought I saw a hint of a frown. “My Dad died a while back from a heart attack. He was a healthy man, or so we thought; it was totally a fluke heart attack. He just collapsed one day when he was jogging down the street, completely unexpectedly. He died on his way to the hospital.” He paused and appeared to be examining my expression, checking whether or not to continue on with what was obviously a heavy topic. He must’ve seen encouragement on my face, as he continued. “Anyways, he was a partner from a local law firm. My mom stayed home with us while we were growing up. When my dad died, my mom was a total mess. She didn’t even know how to write a check, let alone handle any of the finances. She had always just let him take care of everything. I was twenty-five years old at the time. Lauren, my sister, was a senior in college, and I was working down in San Francisco for an investment firm. My mom was a wreck. My parents had been together for thirty years. I moved back to Seattle to help them out. I was lucky that my company let me transfer.”
I thought of a man a few years younger than me taking on the responsibility of the world and keeping his family sane around him. My heart went out to him. I wanted to reach out and touch him, to comfort him, but I opted to hold my glass of wine between both of my hands instead.
Shaking his head, he chuckled to himself. “I can’t believe I just told you all that.”
“I don’t mind,” I replied honestly. “But wow, I’m really sorry about your dad and how sudden it all was. It must have been so hard for all of you.”
“Yeah, you can’t ever prepare for anything like that to happen.” He shrugged. “It was a long time ago.”
“So you moved back home and became the man of the house, so to speak. That was really unselfish of you.” I was impressed with how much commitment he had to his family.
“My mom and my sister needed me. There was nothing more to it than that,” he said matter-of-factly. He didn’t need any kudos for his actions. I liked that. He did what he thought was right and didn’t expect anything i
n return. He was a selfless man, too. “What about you? Do you have family in the area, other than your sister?”
“I’m a local. Yet another thing we seem to have in common,” I said, smiling. “You already know about my sister. She’s also my best friend. We grew up in Bellevue. My parents are retired now. Growing up, my mom worked on and off as a real estate agent. She still does, actually. My father was a computer systems engineer at Boeing. We have a great relationship. It’s kind of boring, really.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that. You have what most people strive for in a family. Sounds like a pretty happy childhood to me. You seemed to have turned out okay,” he teased.
I smirked. “So did you,” I reminded him.
The food arrived and I immediately helped myself to some fries.
“Yeah, sure, help yourself to my fries,” he said with exaggerated annoyance.
I laughed and then sheepishly put a fry in my mouth. “Thank you.” I giggled and blushed at my own brazen move. I couldn’t believe I just shared his food without asking him. I would never normally do something like that unless I’ve known a friend for years.
As we ate our meals, he asked if I liked my roasted chicken. I told him it was my favorite, then cut off a bite and fed it to him with my fork. He took it without hesitation.
“Mmm … pretty good.”
I became very aware that we were acting like an old couple, rather than having met just an hour ago. “So tell me more about your time in San Francisco,” I encouraged him.
“It was great, while it lasted. I mean, I was young and single for most of that time. The world was my oyster. The whole dot com craze was taking off back then. Everyone was making money. If you were in investment banking, the market was out of control. People were getting rich off the craziest dot com fads and ideas. It was a total thrill to be in the middle of it all. I don’t know if we’ll ever see anything like that again.”