“Oh. Uh…OK,” I say to Cash, trying to keep the trepidation out of my voice, “Yeah, why not. I haven’t really seen much of the town here.”
“Great,” Cash replies, “Though fair warning, there’s not much of a town to see. It’s kind of a shit hole, to be honest.”
“Well, now I have to see it,” I laugh gamely, making sure not to steal a glance at Luke as I grab my things and follow Cash up along the dock. But even though I refrain from looking at my secret companion, I can feel the tense unease rising off of him. He won’t stop me from going, but I know he’s less than thrilled about it.
“I didn’t know those two, uh, got along so well…” I hear Maddie say to Luke as I walk away with Cash.
“Mhm,” Luke murmurs in response. I can feel his eyes boring into my back as I walk along in Cash’s wake. Is he just angry with his brother after their spat, or is he unhappy with me as well? Is it even safe to be riding along with the unpredictable Cash Hawthorne?
I guess I’m about to find out, one way or another.
“Hop in,” Cash says to me as we reach the well-worn family pickup.
I glance back at the truck bed as I yank open the passenger side door. If only this truck could talk, huh? Scrambling up into the seat, I realize that this is the first time I’ve been alone with Cash since arriving at the lake house. And as he starts the truck, peeling away from the house with one arm dangling out the driver’s side window, I wonder if I should have left it that way.
“You guys really don’t fuck around, huh?” I laugh nervously, glancing at Luke’s glowering face in the rear view mirror as the truck trundles away.
Cash grunts back at me. Not exactly a talker, this one.
“I get the sibling rivalry thing,” I try again, tucking my knees into my chest, “Maddie and I can’t go fifteen minutes without getting on each other’s last—”
“Mind if I put on some music?” Cash cuts me off bluntly, not waiting for my answer before cranking up the radio.
I sink back against my seat, keeping my eyes glued to the road ahead. What the hell did Cash ask me to come along for if he’s just going to pretend I’m not here, as usual?
“So you and Luke are school buddies, huh?” Cash shouts over the blaring hard rock.
“Not exactly,” I yell back, “We’ve seen each other around campus is all.”
“Really?” Cash challenges me, shooting a devilish grin my way.
“Yeah, really,” I snap back, hugging my knees tightly, “What’s it to you?”
“The way he’s been looking at you lately, I was just wondering,” Cash goes on, “I mean, did you see his face when you walked away with me just now?”
I whip around to face the eldest Hawthorne brother. It’s only been a few minutes, but I’m well out of patience for this bad boy dickhead routine.
“Is that why you wanted me to come with you? Just to mess with Luke?” I ask pointblank.
“I may have been testing a theory, sure,” Cash shrugs.
“And that theory would be…?” I press.
“That my little brother is into you,” Cash replies coolly, “And from the way he was acting just now, I’d say that my theory’s been proven right.”
“Whatever, Cash,” I mutter, looking away from him with my heart in my throat.
“What’s the matter? Don’t you like him back?” Luke’s brother toys with me.
“What is this, third grade?” I shoot back at him, “Maybe your little brother is right. You should grow up.”
“Ouch,” Cash laughs, “You Porter women don’t hold any punches, do you?”
“From what I just saw back on the dock, neither do you Hawthorne men,” I reply coldly.
“Looks like we’re all made for each other, huh?” Cash says quietly, his suddenly pensive eyes hard on the road.
“Guess so,” I reply vaguely, wishing that this seat had an ejector button.
Cash ramps up the volume to its highest possible setting, and we drive along the Montana backroads without another word between us.
I decide not to tell Luke about his brother’s suspicions straightaway. After their near-brawl, I’m afraid to stoke the tensions between them. I’ve never seen anything enrage Luke the way Cash manages to. But that’s what family is for, right? I don’t have to try very hard not to talk about my little jaunt with Cash. When I get back that night, Luke’s lips are entirely sealed on the subject. I try and give him some space to cool down, seeking out Anna instead. I want to clear the air after our own spat on the dock. But wouldn’t you know it—she’s gone off with Finn and his band. Looks like I get a little unexpected “me time” tonight.
The house is empty as I carry a glass of Merlot up to my bedroom and settle down on the window seat overlooking the backyard. I dig my copy of War and Peace out of my backpack and let it fall open on my lap, ready to dive back into the epic tale. But try as I might, I can’t seem to concentrate. Cash’s words from earlier today keep rattling around in my mind.
Looks like we’re all made for each other, huh?
I’ve never been much of a religious person, but I do believe that some things in life are simply out of our hands. Chiefly among those things? Who we happen to fall for. I couldn’t have stopped myself from being attracted to Luke, even if I’d tried. But the unknown connection we shared from the start, our parents’ romantic history, that was out of our control too. Why should we let the one trump the other? Why should Luke and I be forced to keep our relationship a secret, just because our parents happened to get there first?
And what would happen…if we chose not to keep it a secret after all?
I take a long sip of wine, looking out across the moonlit landscape. A spot of movement catches my eye, down at the end of the dock. The towering figure of John Hawthorne makes my mother look younger than I’ve ever seen her before. Or maybe, it’s the way she’s holding herself at his side. She looks relaxed. Happy. At peace. As I watch from my window, John lifts my mother’s face to his, laying a kiss on her lips under the rising moon.
My fingers tighten around the stem of the wineglass as I peer down at them. If anyone could understand the feelings I have for Luke, wouldn’t it be my mom? She’s fallen for a Hawthorne man too, after all. Maybe, just maybe, there could be a way forward for me and Luke that doesn’t revolve around deception. I know it’s a revolutionary idea, but…what if we just told our parents the truth?
“Well,” I laugh to myself, nursing my wine as the moon rises over the still, glassy lake, “I guess there’s a first time for everything.”
Chapter Nine
It’s strange how comfortable this house has come to feel after just one week. By rights, I should want nothing more than to book it back to Sheridan. But against all odds, I’ve enjoyed my stay here so far. Granted, Luke’s presence has been a welcome surprise out here in the middle of nowhere. But there’s something wonderful about being removed from the current of daily life, too. Out here, it’s like we can all live by our own rules and standards. Who’s going to stop us, after all? Maybe that’s why my idea of coming clean about my relationship with Luke has started to pick up steam. Our situation may be unconventional, but it’s not like there’s anyone out here to stop us.
After a long yoga practice on Friday morning, one week after I first arrived here at the lake house, I gather my toiletries and head down the hall for a nice, hot shower. Everyone is scattered around the property, doing their own things, so I don’t even have to wait to get into the bathroom—quite the rare occurrence with eight people in the house.
Closing the bathroom door behind me, I shuck off my sweaty yoga clothes and turn on the shower. I perch on the edge of the claw-foot bathtub as the water heats up, letting the warm mist roll over my just-stretched muscles. Rolling my head from side to side, I start to hum softly, wordlessly. It’s only been a few weeks since school ended, but I’m already jonesing to perform again. To use my voice and my body, to feel the freedom of giving over to a character, or a piece.
Stepping under the hot spray of the shower, I massage shampoo into my caramel hair, letting my voice swell from deep in my diaphragm. I run through lines of all my favorite songs, moving from folk to rock to soul on a whim. My belting voice echoes off the bathroom tiles as I have at it. My dorm-mate Kim hated it when I sang in the shower—I received many a passive-aggressive post-it note about it. But here, in this big empty house, I can really go to town.
A cool draft glances against my wet skin, cutting me off mid-note. I spin around toward the door, mouth clamped shut. Is it possible that the house isn’t as empty as I thought?
“Damn,” a familiar voice says from the other side of the shower curtain, “Those are some pipes you’ve got, there.”
“Luke!” I squeak, poking my head around the curtain, “What the hell are you doing in here?!”
He’s standing with his back against the bathroom door, arms crossed over his chest. His short brown hair is sleep-tousled, and the stubble on his jaw is darker than usual. God, what I wouldn’t give for him to be the first thing I saw every morning…
“I heard the concert from down the hall. Didn’t want to miss it,” he grins, taking a swinging stride toward me, “I had no idea you could sing like that, Sophie.”
“Yeah, well,” I murmur, flattered despite myself, “You still shouldn’t be in here.”
“Why? I thought bathrooms were sort of our thing?” he goes on, nudging the curtain aside.
My body flushes with want as Luke rakes his eyes along my form. Warm water runs in rivulets around my breasts, down my stomach, over the carefully-kept patch of dark hair between my legs. Someone could walk in any minute and find us here together. But somehow that only makes this sexier.
“Luke,” I begin nervously.
“Just let me look at you,” he cuts me off, drinking me in with his dark green eyes. “Christ. You’re so beautiful.”
“You just saying that to get some?” I tease him breathlessly, running my hands through my shower-soaked hair.
“Hardly,” Luke grins back, “I don’t need to flatter you to get some. I barely even have to touch you before you’re all ready for me…”
“You’re terrible,” I murmur, as Luke runs a hand down my water-slicked arm.
“And you’re a dirty little sex fiend,” he says, that devilish grin growing wider.
“Did you even bother to lock the door?” I laugh, batting his hand away and turning off the shower, “Or are you trying to get us caught?”
“Maybe I am,” he shrugs, leaning against the sink as I wrap a towel around my body.
I stop and look up at him in surprise. We may be borderline telepathic at times, but has Luke actually been reading my thoughts word-for-word lately?
“Are you being serious?” I ask him quietly.
“I don’t know, Sophie,” he says gruffly, shoving a hand through his hair, “I just know that I’m getting sick of hiding. I want to be able to look at you, and talk to you, and touch you whenever I like.”
“This wouldn’t have anything to do with Cash corralling me along on his errand the other day?” I ask tentatively.
Luke’s expression hardens. “Yeah. I wouldn’t have minded putting a stop to that shit,” he says.
“I’m getting pretty tired of pretending too,” I go on carefully, laying a hand on his bicep, “Keeping something like this from Anna, and even from Maddie…it doesn’t feel right.”
“So…What do you think we should do?” Luke says, turning his body toward mine, “Hire a skywriter or something? Take out a page in the paper?”
“Something a little more subtle would probably do the trick,” I smile, “In fact, I don’t think we’d even necessarily need to come out and tell everyone, if we wanted to let this secret out.”
“No?” he rasps, planting his hands on my hips.
“Nope,” I reply, stepping up to him in the steamy air. “All we’d have to do is…stop trying to hide it. Let them figure it out themselves.”
“Aren’t you worried about how it’ll play with them?” Luke asks, leaping into the role of devil’s advocate. “I mean, it’s a little on the far side of normal, isn’t it?”
“Luke, we’ve been wringing our hands over whether this thing between us is OK for long enough. Who can judge us for having feelings for each other, huh? Who gets to say if this is right or wrong, besides us?”
“I can think of a few people who would have some pretty strong opinions about it,” he laughs roughly, pulling me closer, “People, and religious institutions, and courts of law…”
“You know something?” I say softly, laying my hands on his firm chest, “I can’t really give two shits about what anyone else thinks. Not anymore.”
“You really think the rest of them could handle this being out in the open?” Luke asks me, his green eyes hard on my face.
“Only one way to find out,” I reply, hope lifting my voice. I feel like we’re standing on a precipice, getting ready to fall or fly.
“Well shit,” Luke says, letting out a deep breath, “This just got real.”
“That it did,” I laugh, circling my arms around his waist. “Just remember, we don’t need to make any grand pronouncements. We just have to let it happen, you know? Hell, half our siblings are probably onto us already.”
“What do you mean?” Luke asks, cocking an eyebrow.
“I have a feeling that Anna knows something,” I confide in him, “And, uh, Cash may also be a little suspicious… He sort of said as much in the truck that day.”
“Sonofabitch,” Luke mutters, shaking his head with a rueful smile, “So he was just trying to fuck with me, bringing you along?”
“Pretty much,” I allow, “See? Everyone will know in no time.”
“To be honest, it isn’t our brothers and sisters I’m worried about,” Luke says, taking a step away from me. “It’s my dad. He’s never been able to stand it when I step off the straight and narrow. Not for a minute. And this…?”
“Hey,” I say firmly, catching his hands in mine, “Just because John and Robin were the first Hawthorne and Porter to fall for each other, doesn’t mean they’ll be the last. You know as well I do that they’ll be over within the month. And then…”
“So you’re falling for me, huh Sophie?” Luke asks, his voice rasping low in his register. He’s staring at me intently, his eyes doubled in the bathroom mirror as the steam clears away.
“You can’t seriously have any question about that,” I say softly.
“Maybe not,” he replies, giving my hands a firm squeeze, “But I still wouldn’t mind hearing you say it.”
“Fine,” I say, running my thumb against his broad hand, “I think…I’m falling for you, Luke. No, I know I am.”
He stares at me for a long moment, his gaze boring into mine. It’s like he’s scoping out the perimeter of my soul, making absolutely sure that no part of me is hidden from him. And despite Danny’s warning to keep a little piece of myself tucked away where Luke can’t reach it, I let him see all of me. It may be reckless—no, downright insane—but I want to put my whole self in his hands. Even if that means I’ll be left in a million pieces should something go wrong between us.
Without a word, Luke raises my hand to his mouth, kissing my palm. His eyes close as he holds me there, caressing his square jaw as he presses his lips to my skin. And then, just as quickly, he breaks away from me, turning toward the door.
“Aren’t you gonna say it back?” I ask, clutching my towel close to my chest.
“And ruin the drama, Ms. Acting School? I’d never do that to you,” he says, grinning at me over his broad shoulder.
“Ugh. You suck,” I laugh, chucking a hand towel at his towering, retreating form.
“You love every minute of it,” he replies, cracking open the door to make sure no one’s coming. Easing his frame through the doorway, he turns back to me and goes on, “My dad’s having me, Cash, and Finn work a job with him today. We’ll be gone until late. But�
�can I take you into town or something tonight? Since we’re giving this not-hiding thing a try?”
“What, you mean like…on a date?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.
“Sure,” Luke says, “A real live date, if you can believe it.”
It hits me that Luke and I have never been on an official date before. Not once. And somehow, his asking now feels like a bigger step than any we’ve taken together so far. And we’ve taken quite a few, by this point.
“Well…OK,” I grin, feeling for the world like I’m fourteen years old again, “I’d be happy to go on a date with you, Luke.”
“Great,” he grins back, closing the door behind him, “I even promise not to beat anyone up this time… Unless they deserve it, of course.”
“Of course,” I say, rolling my eyes, “Now get out of here. You’re letting all the warm air out.”
The door closes with a click, and I brace myself against the sink with both hands. It’s not just the prospect of a date with Luke that has me all giddy, of course. It’s the idea that maybe, just maybe, we won’t need to sneak around for that much longer. We might actually have a chance at being a normal couple, here.
Who ever knew that just getting to “normal” could be such a damn miracle?
Chapter Ten
While the boys are away working, Mom decides it’s her moment to pounce. The second we Porter women are alone in the lake house, she declares tonight “girl’s night”, an occasion that none of us has any chance of wiggling out of. Great.
“Come on, it’ll be fun!” Mom gushes as she herds me out onto the porch. “The four of us haven’t had a proper chat in ages. Humor your poor old mother, will you?”
I see that Anna has already been penned in when I step out onto the verandah. She sits before a giant spread of wine, cheese, chocolate, and fruit. Mom definitely pulled out all the stops tonight, that’s for sure. But while I certainly don’t ever mind the sight of a few good bottles of red, I can hear that old alarm bell winding up in the back of my mind. Why the special treatment all of a sudden?
Stepbrother Broken (The Hawthorne Brothers Book 2) Page 11