by Louise Hall
When she went downstairs, Irene was in the kitchen drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. “You’re still here?” Cate was surprised; during the week she hardly saw her Mum.
“They’re fumigating the office,” Irene frowned. “Why they couldn’t do it on the weekend, I don’t know?”
Cate adjusted the scarf around her neck, wondering if her Mum would notice that she looked different this morning.
“That’s too bad. I, um, I might be home late tonight.”
“That’s fine,” Irene said, without looking up from the newspaper.
Cate tried not to feel too disappointed. “There’s this project for Psychology, it’s kind of a group thing.”
“That’s good.” Cate could tell her Mum wasn’t really listening to her.
When she got to college, she’d just parked up when she saw Sinead walking across the car park. “Hey stranger,” Sinead bumped her arm.
“Hey,” Cate adjusted the scarf around her neck and waited for Sinead to say something about it. But Sinead was already craning her neck, looking around the car park instead. For Jake, Cate assumed. Sure enough, Sinead spotted Jake’s car pull into the car park. “Oh look there’s Jake, I’d better go. I’ll call you.”
That afternoon, Cate got to the public library far too early. She hated being late for anything. Because of this, she always had a book in her bag. She’d just finished the 3rd chapter of Jane Eyre when Kian rapped on the window, making her jump.
“Sorry,” Kian grinned. Cate hastily stashed her book back in her bag and unlocked the doors.
Instead of the passenger seat next to her, Kian climbed in the back seat.
“What are you doing back there?” Cate laughed.
“It’s easier to hide back here,” Kian said, slouching down.
Cate drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. “Where should we go?”
“We could go back to my place?” Kian suggested.
“Uh, no,” Cate replied.
“Why not?” Kian raised an eyebrow, “don’t you trust yourself to be alone with me?”
“Yeah, that’s totally it,” Cate laughed. “But seriously, you live next door to my brother, don’t you think he might be a bit suspicious if he comes home and find his little sister’s car parked in your driveway?”
“Hadn’t thought of that,” Kian said, scratching his head. Suddenly his eyes lit up. “I know a place.” He gave Cate the 1st set of directions.
“Turn here,” Kian said and they drove down a long, bumpy dirt track. It felt vaguely familiar to Cate. At the end of the track was a small car park. There was a low stone wall, a couple of wooden benches and beyond that was Mill Lake.
When they were little, Jean used to take Cate and Sinead there to feed the ducks. Cate had spent most of her school holidays at Sinead’s house while Irene was building her consulting business.
There were a couple of cars parked near the café but Kian directed her to park at the other side, sheltered by the trees.
Cate turned off the engine and asked, “What do you want to do now?”
“Well, we can’t make out with you sat there and me sat here, can we?”
Cate got out of the car and climbed into the backseat with him. As the door clicked shut, Cate felt her stomach tie itself up in knots. She couldn’t believe that she was really here, about to make out with Kian. As he moved closer, she felt his thigh press against hers; she could feel the heat of his skin even through his jeans. She looked down at his thigh; his dark-blue jeans were pulled tight across his muscles. Cate felt completely out of her depth. He wasn’t like the boys at college, who all wore Super Dry hoodies and CK One aftershave. Kian wore a white cotton shirt and a black leather jacket. He smelled like soap and leather.
“Take off your jacket,” Kian instructed. Cate quickly obeyed; glad to have something to occupy her hands.
Kian liked how easily she submitted to him. Underneath her jacket, she was wearing a black, wool jumper which fitted close to her body. His hands itched to hold the gentle curve of her waist. As she stretched, the hem of her jumper rode up a little, exposing a sliver of her soft skin. While she was distracted, putting her jacket on the front seat, he let his eyes roam up her torso. She was wearing a fussy scarf, which he wanted to remove. Underneath it, he could just see the outlines of her soft, round breasts.
When she turned back to him, he could tell she was nervous. She worried at her bottom lip with her teeth.
He reached up and gently held her face. Her eyes shot up to his. Kian felt a jolt as he looked into her eyes; they were like a black hole, drawing him deeper.
Cate felt the warmth of his hands on her face. She felt like a plasma ball, as though he was drawing out all of her worries and uncertainties into his strong hands. She noticed that his eyes changed colour as he watched her, from warm, dark chocolate to burning, jet-black.
“May I?” He asked, gesturing at her hairclip.
Cate nodded, she couldn’t speak. He gently pulled the clip out of her hair and tossed it to one side, letting her long, inky-black hair tumble down her back.
“Fuck,” Kian murmured, threading his fingers through her hair. Cate felt her scalp come out in goose bumps. “Your hair is gorgeous.”
He allowed himself to picture her underneath him; that gorgeous black hair fanned out across his crisp, white sheets.
He brushed her hair to one side, exposing her slender neck. Cate gripped on to his shoulder as if she was in danger of melting into a puddle on the backseat. Even his shoulder was hard muscle. Is there any part of him that’s soft? Cate wondered. Her eyes wandered down to his groin and she blushed furiously.
Cate had seven metal studs and a cuff at the top of each ear. Kian swirled his tongue over the first of the studs. “Mm,” Cate shivered. She felt his grin against her skin.
“Is that good?” He murmured.
“Yes,” Cate said breathlessly. Kian traced the shell of her ear with his tongue, teasing each of the metal studs. The car windows had misted over, hiding them from the outside world.
“Your hair smells fucking incredible,” Kian groaned, his warm breath tickling her skin.
“It’s blackberries,” Cate blurted out. “My shampoo.”
“Fucking love it.”
He gently unwound her scarf and put it on the parcel shelf behind their heads. The deep-v of her jumper, no longer hidden by the scarf, allowed him a tantalising glimpse of the soft flesh at the tops of her breasts.
His kisses moved lower, exploring her neck. If he could tell she liked something, he lingered there before moving on. Those moments when he found her pleasure points were fucking addictive; how her body jolted against him. He could hear her breath catch in the back of her throat and her fingers tightened almost painfully against his shoulder.
He couldn’t hide his grin when he remembered that jackass Jake calling Cate frigid. She was anything but; the girl in his arms right now was so fucking hot, the way she responded to him. He kissed her pulse point, feeling her thundering heartbeat. She was like that for him. “Kian,” Cate whimpered softly. He was so tempted to draw her soft skin between his lips, to leave his mark on her.
Cate felt braver, sliding her hand inside his leather jacket. Although he was lean, every inch of him was rock-hard muscle. She traced the outline of them with her fingers; the only barrier was his white shirt. When she reached his pectoral, she faltered. It was strange to feel his heart beating against her fingers.
Kian slid her down so she was lying on the backseat. Cate stopped; he’d positioned himself carefully so he didn’t crush her but she could still feel the weight of his body pressing her into the seat.
Kian pulled back. “Is this OK?”
“Mm,” Cate nodded, not wanting to admit how much she liked what he was doing.
“Angel, if you want to stop…”
“I don’t,” Cate blurted out before quickly clapping a hand over her mouth.
Kian raised an eyebrow; his eyes turning jet-black. H
e removed her hand from over her mouth and pressed it against the seat at the side of her head. “Good, because I really…”
He leaned forward so their lips were just millimetres apart and they were breathing each other in. “Really want to kiss you again.”
Kian slowly licked her lips with the tip of his tongue, building her frustration before parting them, sweeping his tongue inside her mouth. As he pressed her down into the seat, their bodies moulded together. He felt her soft breasts rubbing against his chest. Cate slid her hands around to his back; she dragged her nails up and down, over his shirt.
“Mm,” Kian groaned, “keep doing that.”
CHAPTER 6
On Thursday morning Kian texted Cate that he’d meet her at Mill Lake.
When Cate got to the Lake, she found his car on the café side of the car park. In winter, the café only opened on weekends.
Her phone buzzed in her hand. There was a text from Kian. “Take the trail on the opposite side of the lake.”
Cate looked around to see if she could see him. Intrigued, she retraced her footsteps back to the opposite side of the lake. The ground was stiff with frost and with every step; she made a loud, crunching sound.
The lakeside was deserted; the lake itself was covered with a thin film of undisturbed ice, like milk on a cold mug of coffee.
The peaceful reverie was broken by the opening bars of “Girl from Mars” by Ash. It was Kian.
“Hi?” Cate asked cautiously. She felt a little exposed, not knowing where he was.
“It’s not much further,” Kian said softly, as if he could sense her fears. “Are you at the inlet?”
Cate looked around, “yes.”
“Good, when you get to the fork, take the trail to the right.”
When she got to the fork, she looked right but the trail seemed to lead into a dense forest of evergreen trees. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah,” Kian laughed. “Stop biting your lip. Trust me.”
Cate hadn’t realised that she’d been doing it. “You can see me? Where are you?”
“It really isn’t that much further, I promise,” Kian replied, evading her questions.
“You said that before,” Cate grumbled a little.
She followed the trail through the trees. The air seemed even colder here than it had done on the main trail. Her breath floated through the air in tiny little o’s.
After a couple of minutes, the trail opened up to a small waterfall, crossed with a wooden footbridge. Beyond that was a stone tower, about three storeys tall.
Cate paused for a second to take in the beauty. The border of evergreen trees made it feel like her own, private paradise. There were no sounds but the soft lapping of the water from the waterfall. The winter sun seemed to shine down just on that little spot, illuminating the crystal clear water tumbling down over the rocks. Cate felt all of the tension leave her body; there was something almost spiritual about this place. She turned her face to the sun and closed her eyes, enjoying the gentle warmth on her skin.
She felt two hands gently rest on her shoulders and her eyes sprang open.
“Beautiful,” Kian said, turning her around to face him.
“It is,” Cate smiled, meaning the landscape. Kian didn’t correct her. “How did you find this place?”
“It’s a secret” Kian kissed the tip of her nose. “Come on.” He trailed his hands down her arms to her hands. “Let’s go inside.”
Cate allowed herself to be tugged across the wooden bridge and inside the stone tower. It was empty apart from a spiral metal staircase in the centre. Kian went first and Cate followed him up the stairs. When they got to the top, Cate pulled back to catch her breath.
“What is this place?” she asked, looking around at the circular room.
She wandered over to one of the windows, which had a perfect view of the trail she’d just walked along. “You were watching me all this time?” She hoped she hadn’t done anything embarrassing.
Kian reached for her hand, stroking his thumb in circles over the delicate skin inside her wrist. “I wouldn’t let you walk this trail all by yourself, angel.”
He tugged her on to his lap. “No offence but this is a lot nicer than the backseat of your car.”
“You brought me here to make out?” Cate was offended. “Is this your secret make-out place?”
She struggled to get up off his lap but he held a firm grip on her hips. “I’ve never brought anybody else here, I swear.”
Cate searched his eyes, wanting to believe that he was telling her the truth. “Then how do you know about this place?”
“It’s a…”
Cate pressed her fingers to his lips. “If you tell me it’s a secret again, I’m leaving.” She couldn’t bear to find out later that he’d brought other girls to this glimpse of heaven.
“Fine,” Kian kissed the tip of her fingers. “If I tell you, you’ve got to stop wriggling.”
“OK,” Cate said, stilling in his arms.
“It was on a field trip with primary school.”
“Have you been back here since?”
“I come here sometimes,” Kian looked far away all of a sudden. “When I want to get away from all the crap.”
Cate held his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. “What do you mean? Your life’s perfect?”
“Ha,” Kian scoffed. “My life’s perfect.”
“It’s not?” Cate looked concerned. “Why?”
Kian shook his head, “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Cate didn’t push him. “I like it here.” She rested her head against Kian’s chest, feeling the thump-thump of his heartbeat. “It makes me feel closer to God somehow.”
“I didn’t know you were religious,” Kian said, kissing the top of her head. Her hair smelled deliciously like blackberries.
“I don’t know that I am,” Cate said softly. “I know I have a faith but I’m still working out what it all means.”
Suddenly, Cate started laughing. “You’re like a truth serum. I find myself telling you things I wouldn’t tell anybody else.”
Kian rubbed his nose against hers. “I like that.” He trailed his mouth across her cheek to her earlobe. “I like you.”
“I like you too,” Cate whispered, fisting up her hand in his t-shirt.
He sucked on her earlobe, toying with one of the metal studs with his tongue. “Why do you have so many piercings?”
Remembering his earlier words, “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Kian slid a hand inside her coat, pressing against the small of her back. She felt him lift up the hem of her jumper and inch his fingertips slowly upwards until they touched her bare skin. It was still chilly inside the tower but his touch seared into her skin.
Kian closed his eyes for a moment, savouring the feel of her soft skin against his fingertips. She felt so good. Her chest was pressed up against him; he could feel her breasts heave up and down as she tried to force more oxygen into her lungs.
He opened his eyes again. With his free hand, he gently stroked the back of his hand across her flushed cheek. Her lips were parted a little; he leaned forward to kiss her.
“Wait,” Cate said breathlessly as his lips were just millimetres away from her own. She put a shaky hand on his chest and pushed him back a little.
“What is it?” Kian frowned.
“What if someone catches us?”
Kian lifted her hand from his chest and kissed her knuckles. “We’ll hear them.”
“But where will we go?” Cate quickly looked around. The room was empty apart from the wooden benches; there was nowhere to hide and just the one staircase up and down.
Kian reluctantly removed his hand from her back and sat her down beside him on the bench. He reached into the pocket of his coat and pulled out a rolled-up piece of white fabric. “Give me your foot.”
Cate lifted her foot up on to the bench and Kian carefully removed her trainer. He took off her sock and Cate winced as the
cold air hit her bare skin. “Ow.”
Kian lifted up her foot and pressed his lips against the instep. He trailed his mouth up to the top of her foot and sucked her ankle bone before moving back to her toes. “What are those?”
He was looking at her toenails, which were violet and then an intricate black lace pattern had been painted over the top. “Did you do that?”
Cate nodded, she loved experimenting on her toenails.
“But you haven’t done your fingernails?” Kian asked, reaching for her hand. Her fingernails were colourless.
“Everybody sees your fingernails,” Cate shrugged. “My toenails are just for me, I like having a secret.”
“And for me now,” Kian’s eyes sparkled. He kissed the tips of each of her toes and then reached for the ball of white fabric. When he unfurled it, Cate realised it was an elasticated ankle support bandage.
Kian eased it gently over her toes and then rolled it along her foot and up her ankle. “It’s our excuse.”
He lifted her up and settled her back on to his lap. “If anyone finds us, we can say you fell and hurt your ankle.”
Cate tried to relax but the cold air was assaulting her exposed toes. “Put your foot between my legs.”
Cate raised her eyebrows. “My calves,” Kian explained, laughing. He moved her foot between his calves and pressed them together, cocooning her bare skin between his strong muscles. “That better, angel?”
“Much,” Cate grinned. “Are you going to kiss me now?”
“Am I ever?” Kian grinned back. He slid his hand back inside her coat and up her jumper to the small of her back. He stroked soft circles into her skin with his thumb. He pressed his other hand against the nape of her neck, holding her firm as he brushed his lips softly against hers.