by Hazel Kelly
“My dad’s got a work thing,” he said, kicking the curb. “So apparently everyone else’s vacation has to get cut short, too.”
I could tell he was pissed and figured piling on my own disappointment wouldn’t help. “Well, it was good seeing you.” And sleeping with you under the stars and falling so hard for you I can’t eat or sleep or breathe.
“It was good seeing you, too,” he said.
I glanced at the pavement between us.
“You were the highlight of my trip, Jolie.”
My heart exploded in my chest.
“I really wish I didn’t have to go,” he said. “Or that I could bring you with me.”
I smiled and tucked a sun kissed strand of hair behind my ear. “Maybe you’ll come back next summer?”
He nodded. “Count on it.”
I swallowed and raised my arms out.
He came in for a hug, squeezing me so tight I was worried I might not be able to hold the tears in until after he left.
“Don’t ever change,” he whispered in my ear.
I leaned back and looked at him, wishing with everything that we could have just one more night. “And don’t you forget me.”
He laughed. “Trust me. That’s not going to happen.”
I craned my neck forward to kiss him on the cheek, but he turned his face and pressed his lips against mine, holding the back of my head as his tongue ignited a trail of fire inside me that burned all the way down to my toes.
“Our parents are right inside,” I whispered, laying a hand on his chest when I remembered where we were.
“I don’t give a fuck,” he said. “I already told them I wouldn’t leave until I said goodbye to you.”
“Yeah?”
He dropped his forehead against mine. “Of course,” he said. “Except I don’t think I’m going to.”
“What?”
“I think I’ll go with see you later.”
I smiled. “I like that better, too.”
“I’m going to miss that little convenience store,” Christophe said to no one in particular as he walked up with two full bags of snacks. “I’m liable to go through Cheetos withdrawal once we leave here.
Adam kept his eyes on me.
“Ready to hit the road, gang?” Adam’s dad asked as he walked through the lobby’s double doors with his wife.
“See you later,” I said, taking a step back.
Adam lifted his hand in a silent wave and watched me go back inside where I immediately turned into the shadows so I could watch his family pack up their car and drive away, as if it didn’t already hurt enough.
A few minutes later, I heard my dad’s voice behind me. “Nice kid.”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“You’re going to miss him.”
I let my head fall against the wall and watched the turn signal of their rental car come on as they approached the road. “I already do.”
He put his hand on my shoulder. “Do you want the good news or the bad news?”
“The good,” I said. “I don’t think I can handle any more bad news.”
“Well.” He stepped up beside me. “The good news is you’re young, and you might seem him again sometime.”
I sighed. “And the bad?”
“You’re still young, and you might not.”
I rolled my eyes. “Wow, Dad. How can I ever thank you for that depressing nugget?”
“Come here,” he said, gesturing for me to follow him.
I leaned off the wall.
He held out his hand.
I was too old to hold my dad’s hand, but I figured I was dragging pretty low so I might as well humor him.
“You ever hear that saying, ‘if you let something go and it comes back to you, it’s really yours, and if you let it go and it doesn’t, it wasn’t meant to be anyway?’”
“I’ve heard a saying that goes something like that.”
“Smart ass,” he said, his mouth curling up into a smile.
He knew I was always surprised to hear him swear, so I assumed he was doing it to cheer me up. “What’s your point?” I asked.
“My point is-” He sat down on the bench in front of the hotel and tugged my hand so I’d sit beside him. “Life is all about letting things go. Over and over. Things come into your life and then you have to let them go. Just like the waves come and go.”
“So what you’re saying is life’s a beach?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.
He nodded. “It is, Jo. It is. And the waves keep coming and going no matter what so you have to learn to enjoy the moment because each one is fleeting and not a single one of them is going to stick around, regardless of how tight you try and hold onto it.”
“Did you already have a Bloody Mary today, Dad?”
He smiled, the sparkle in his eyes giving him away. “I need you to promise me three things, Jo.”
I squinted at him. “What’s the point? Aren’t my promises just going to come and go like everything else?”
He raised a finger. “No. Promises are different. They’re waterproof so they can’t get washed away.”
I shook my head. I’d been alive long enough to know that parents changed the rules as often as they saw fit, mine included. “Fine. What is it?”
“Promise me you’ll look after your mother when I’m gone.”
I furrowed my brow. “Where are you going?”
“Nowhere,” he said. “Not anytime soon anyway. It’s just that, now that you’re getting a bit older, it’s become apparent to me that you’re stronger than she is. Or at least you will be someday.”
“Alright,” I said. “If it’s important to you.”
“And promise you’ll do what makes you happy,” he said. “Because I didn’t raise you to be one of those adults that drags their feet their whole life.”
“What about the hotel?” I asked. “Don’t you want me to promise I’ll look after it?”
“Of course,” he said. “But I don’t want you looking after it at the expense of your own happiness. Do you understand?”
I nodded because it seemed like the right thing to do.
“As long as we keep hiring good people who take pride in their work, the hotel will take care of itself.”
“Got it.”
“And if you’re ever struggling-” He bent over and reached between his legs under the bench.
I leaned forward too and watched as his thick fingers struggled to lift a stone tile from its place in the grout.
“What’s that?” I asked when we’d righted ourselves.
He turned it over and handed it to me.
On the bottom of the cement, there was a large handprint with a tiny one inside it. “Is that-?”
“Your hand in mine,” he said. “Where it will always be.”
I dragged a finger along the tiny fingertips.
“You were only five when we did that,” he said. “You had the cutest little hands then. Your mother and I used to kiss your fingertips before we tucked you in at night.”
“Yeah?”
He nodded. “You’d always pretend we missed one and make us start over.”
I laughed.
“It’s amazing you’re so well adjusted considering how hard we tried to spoil you.”
“Thanks, Dad. I try.”
“Jolie.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“Someday when it’s time for you to settle down with someone- when it’s time for you to start a family of your own- promise me you’ll choose a man who loves every single part of you. Even the parts you’re not proud of. ”
I swallowed.
“Right down to your fingertips.”
“I can’t promise I’m going to meet someone like that, Dad.”
“I know,” he said. “But any man who doesn’t fit that description is an idiot who doesn’t deserve you.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t forget,” he said, tapping his forehead.
“I won’t,” I promised
.
And I never did.
Chapter 37: Jolie
I’d never been so sick.
I couldn’t think straight, couldn’t swallow. My appetite was wonky and my fuse was shorter than normal.
Sleep had become as elusive as Bigfoot, and I’d grown physically clumsy in a way that made it hard to recognize myself.
It was only when I began searching my symptoms online that I got any clarity at all.
As I typed my extensive list of qualms into the search bar, my mind wandered to how quickly my brain tumor might take over. Then, just before I pressed search, my eye caught the last symptom I’d typed.
I can’t stop thinking about him.
Fuck. Suddenly I was wishing for that tumor.
I hit enter and waited.
Perhaps not surprisingly, the first result that came up was an article about how love makes you sick. I read it twice, finding myself particularly horrified by the assertion that its effect on the body was similar to the feelings one got from smoking crack.
This seemed odd, though, since smoking crack was supposed to make you feel awesome and I felt dreadful.
On the other hand, I kind of understood the addiction part of it because no matter how much the symptoms escalated, I kept wanting the thing that made me feel so shitty in the first place.
Adam Darling: the only guy I’d ever really wanted and the only guy whose wanting me ever made me feel alive.
By the time I read the article three times, I was convinced I’d developed the chest pains it alluded to.
And then it dawned on me. My illness seemed to be worsening in direct correlation to how much effort I was putting into avoiding him, which was a lot.
I’d stopped taking his calls outside of office hours, stopped discussing business with him in private, insisting we meet in public places. And even when we did meet, I avoided making eye contact with him as much as possible so he wouldn’t see the truth in my eyes.
So he wouldn’t see that I did love him back.
So he didn’t see that it was killing me.
But I knew it was stupid. I mean, what kind of person realizes they’re in love with someone after they break things off?
Still, there was no denying it. Of course I was in love with him.
How could I not be? He was Prince Charming and I was Cinderella.
Except there was no ball, no slipper, no friendly band of talking mice. And all those things were as unlikely as us ending up together.
We were from different worlds, and it was naïve to think I could change his mind and make him love me enough to stay here when he’d never done anything but entertain me for the summer and fuck off.
Therefore, I had to keep reminding myself how much worse the pain would be if I allowed myself to fall any harder.
Fortunately I hadn’t already told him I loved him, which was the only thing keeping me strong and making me feel half convincing.
And while I knew love wasn’t the kind of thing you were supposed to extinguish in your own fist, I’d buried that secret as deep inside me as I could- so deep that if I were a squirrel I’d never find it again, and it would dissolve in the Earth under countless winter frosts.
A text alert jolted me from my pessimistic spiral of self-loathing, reminding me that there was a staff meeting in five minutes.
I made sure all the room service orders were being prepared and that no one was due to check out in the next half hour. Then I made my way to the conference room.
In the last week and a half, the room had been redone from top to bottom, and the delicious smell of fresh paint lingered faintly in the air.
I looked around for Gia, whose wet hair was pulled back in a claw, and made my way over to her.
“Hey,” she said. “Any idea what this is about?”
I shrugged. “I wouldn’t be surprised if it was just a meeting for discussing future meetings.”
“Or a meeting to discuss how much nicer the meeting room is now?”
I nodded.
Her eyes smiled as she folded her arms and turned towards the voice clearing at the front of the room.
I watched Adam stand up at the front of the room, his day old stubble making his face look even more chiseled than usual. I recalled how it felt to have him drag it up my neck, which gave me such a visible chill Gia glanced over her shoulder at me.
“Thanks for being punctual everybody,” he said, clasping his hands in front of him. “I won’t take much of your time as I don’t want you all high on paint fumes for the rest of the day.”
A few guys from the kitchen laughed too loud.
“But I do have two important announcements to make,” he said, standing with his feet shoulder width apart. “Unfortunately, it’s sort of a good news/bad news situation.”
I raised my eyebrows, a feeling of horror sweeping through me. Surely he would discuss bad news with me in private before mentioning it to the rest of the staff?
“I’ll start with the good news,” he said. “Which is that we’ve had a lucky break.”
Everyone in the room leaned towards him.
“In light of the changes we’ve made at the hotel recently, a high profile friend of mine has decided he’d like to get married here. His fiancée happens to be even more famous than he is, however, so I can’t divulge who the happy couple is out of respect for their security requirements.”
I furrowed my brows.
Gia turned around and raised hers at me.
“However, you can rest assured that the event is sure to create some fantastic buzz about the place in the media, and it couldn’t be a better time for us to get some publicity. Best of all, because the event is going to require additional work from all of you- as well as a lot of discretion- you’re all going to be incentivized for putting in the extra time and effort.”
Someone whistled at the back of the room, triggering a round of applause.
“Who is it?” someone shouted. “Who’s the couple?”
“I’ve been sworn to secrecy,” he said. “But you’ll all find out soon enough.”
“Is that the bad news?” someone asked. “That you can’t tell us who it is?”
Adam clenched his jaw and took a deep breath. “No. The bad news is of a more personal nature.”
I held my breath as the room went quiet.
“The bad news is that I’m only going to stay until the end of the summer,” he said.
I froze.
“I’m keen to see the renovations through,” he continued. “And I’ve promised to see to it that the wedding is a success, but I won’t be staying on at Harmony Bay.”
I hugged myself as a hand went up near the front of the room.
“Why?” the woman asked. “We thought you liked it here?”
“I do like it here,” he said, his eyes scanning the room. “Very much. And I’ve enjoyed getting to know all of you.”
“So what’s the problem?” the woman asked.
“I’ve fallen in love,” he said.
My stomach dropped.
“With Jolie Monroe.”
My lips fell apart.
Everyone in the room turned to look at me.
“Those of you that know her well will understand why,” he said. “But regrettably, the situation has compromised my ability to be professional in this role.”
I swallowed.
“And even more disappointing-” His eyes found mine. “She doesn’t love me back.”
I pressed my lips together.
“And I know it will prove too painful for me to work closely with her long term.”
This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening.
I broke his gaze and stared down at my feet, hoping they’d be wearing not glass, but sequined ruby slippers.
They weren’t.
“That being said,” Adam continued. “I’m more determined than ever to make every day count here, and I look forward to finalizing the improvements that will make this the
finest resort in the Outer Banks.”
I lifted my eyes in time to see him dismiss everyone, and despite the fact that Gia started talking to me right away, her words were as incomprehensible as if she were underwater.
And for a few minutes, I was sure I was drowning.
Because everything was blurry, and I couldn’t tell which way was up.
Chapter 38: Adam
I watched Jolie walk up the driveway from her mother’s front room and saw her expression change as she recognized my car.
Then I took a seat at the kitchen table beside my half-drunk tea.
The screen door opened behind me a moment later. “What are you doing here?” she asked, her tone equal parts startled and accusatory.
I turned to look over my shoulder. “We need to talk.”
She scoffed. “I’ll say. What the hell were you thinking?”
“Jolie!” Her mom laid her hands on the butcher block. “Since when do you speak to guests this way?”
“Sorry- did you say guest?” she asked, craning her neck forward. “I think you mean pest.”
Her mom parted her lips to object, but I raised a hand faster. “It’s okay, Mrs. Monroe. I knew Jolie would be angry with me when I showed up here. I should’ve warned you.”
She furrowed her brows. “Angry? Whatever for?”
I sighed. “I admitted to the entire staff that I was in love with her earlier today. Unfortunately, she didn’t take it as well as they did.”
“They didn’t take it well either,” Jolie said. “And you didn’t need to share that information with my mother on top of everything.”
Mrs. Monroe cocked her head. “I’m not sure I understand what’s going on.”
“Me neither,” Jolie said, folding her arms.
“I came for your signature,” I said, pulling a folded stack of papers from the inside pocket of my sports coat.
She squinted at me. “Because…?”
“Because I can’t sign the hotel over to you unless I have your written permission,” I said, setting the papers on the table.
“Sign it over to her?” her mom asked. “But you just bought it?”
“And now I want to give it away,” I said. “To Jolie.”
Jolie turned an ear towards me. “For nothing?”
I shook my head. “Not for nothing.”