I look from him to his woman, Esme. I flinch at the sight of her. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to become friends with her. It’s my fault she was taken by Lucifer.
It’s my fault he abused and most likely tortured her.
It’s all my fault. She’s told me she doesn’t hold me responsible, that I’m not to blame, but nothing she can say could take away my guilt.
“I have an announcement,” Motorhead shouts. The room goes completely silent as we all look up at him, waiting for his announcement. He tips his head down and looks at Esme before lifting it back up to the crowd. “We’re havin’ a baby,” he calls out, a huge smile appearing on his lips.
Immediately shouts, whistles, and congratulations are shouted throughout the bar. My lips tip in a smile as I watch Esme looks up at Motorhead. She’s got tears in her eyes and her bottom lip trembles. I’m glad that she’s happy.
Ward wraps his arm around my shoulder and we quietly and quickly slip out the door. “You okay?” he asks.
I nod, pressing my lips together. “I am. I’m glad that she’s happy, that they’re happy.”
His hand squeezes my arm as he guides me toward his pickup truck. Once we’re right in front of it, he drops his hold on me, and quickly shifts Easton into his own arms, then loads him into his car seat. I climb into the front seat and let out a breath.
“Maybe one day you’ll forgive yourself, babe,” he murmurs as he climbs into the driver’s seat a few minutes later.
I don’t respond because maybe someday I will, however, today is not that day. We spend the rest of the day furniture shopping. Ward insists on a television the size of a projection screen, and then I find a few larger pieces of furniture that I like.
“Starting next week, you’re getting driving lessons,” Ward announces on our way home.
My mouth drops open slightly and I shake my head. “I don’t know…”
He chuckles. “Babe, you technically have a valid driver’s license, along with all of your other documentation. Might as well put it to use. Besides, no way in fuck am I going to have my woman walking around town in the fucking snow,” he barks.
I sigh, thinking about how much he sounds like Baby, but I don’t dare tell him that. “Okay,” I exhale.
Ward reaches out, wrapping his hand around my thigh and gives me a gentle squeeze. “Glad that’s settled,” he winks.
Once we arrive home, Ward spends the rest of the evening setting up the new television and mounting it onto the wall while I make dinner.
Begrudgingly he takes a dinner break and eats with us, and then he goes right back to his television while I get Easton ready for bed and then tuck him in.
“I’m going to head to bed,” I call out as he continues fiddling with the TV.
Ward grunts. “Yeah, babe. I’ll be there when I’m done,” he mumbles.
I can tell that he’s focused on his task, so I head to bed. I take my time, deciding on a long hot bath to relax. I let the warm water go cold and am surprised that Ward hasn’t come to get me yet.
When I’m dried off and dressed for bed, I slip between the sheets and I wait for him. I can still hear him moving around in the living room. My eyes becoming heavier and heavier as sleep consumes me.
CROONER
Once the television is set up and working, I reach for my beer and take a pull, deciding to flip through the channels, just to be sure all is in working order. I even log into my Netflix account to ensure that it’s working properly. Finishing my beer, I turn the television off and stand to go to bed, but I find that I’m not tired.
My mind has been spinning lately, too wound up with everything that has happened recently to go to sleep without being completely physically exhausted. I grab my guitar from the stand in the corner of the room, then walk to the kitchen and get another beer.
Deciding not to play inside and wake everybody up, I make my way out to the back porch, sitting down in the only shitty chair we have out here and place my guitar on my lap. I strum a few chords, tuning it to get the right sound, then I play.
Closing my eyes, I let the music consume me. I don’t sing, content to just play. I don’t know how long I stay out here, but I work up a bit of a sweat and when I play the last chord, I hear soft clapping. Turning my head, I see that Hayden is standing, leaning against the sliding glass door.
“It’s late,” she whispers.
She’s wearing one of my shirts, and my mouth goes dry at the sight of her thighs on display. My cock begins to harden, just like it does every fucking time I see her. Setting my guitar to the side, I motion for her to come over to me. Her bare feet carry her to my side, but I reach up, wrapping my hands around her waist and guide her onto my lap.
Hayden’s arms lift and wrap around my neck. I press my forehead against her chest and breathe in her scent. “Are you okay?” she asks quietly,
I shrug, somehow the music filled me and now I feel almost sad. I shouldn’t have played the songs that I did. They were songs my father taught me how to play, and now I feel fucking dirty all over again.
Dirty for not making Hayden my wife before I filled her with my seed.
Dirty for living the life that I do, a life that I know my father would definitely not approve of.
Dirty and sad is how I feel right now, and I shouldn’t.
I have made a beautiful life for myself, a life with a woman and a son that I love.
Lifting my head, I look into her eyes. Hayden leans forward, pressing her lips to mine in a soft kiss. “I’m ready for you to take all of me, Ward,” she breathes against my lips.
“All of you?” I ask.
She nods, biting the corner of her lip and it looks sexy as fuck. “Take my ass, Ward,” she states, her eyes almost challengingly looking directly at me.
I blink, standing without saying a word. All thoughts of my father disappear, of my feelings and the songs that filled me only moments ago. Hayden is offering me something, and it’s absolutely beautiful. I know that it’s probably hard for her to even suggest, yet my brave girl is right here, practically demanding it.
Carrying her in my arms, I walk inside, leaving the guitar on the back porch. Locking the sliding glass door behind me, I carry her toward our bedroom. “Are you sure, baby? We don’t have to do that now, fuck, we don’t have to do it ever.”
She buries her face in my neck, licking my skin before nipping it lightly with her teeth. Setting her down on the bed, I sink to my knees, grasping her panties with my fingers and slowly drag them down her legs. She automatically spreads her thighs and I groan when I notice that she’s wet for me.
Leaning forward, I inhale her scent before swirling my tongue around her clit. Sliding two fingers into her wet pussy, I focus my mouth on her clit as I pump my fingers.
Curling my fingers inside of her, feeling that rough patch that I know drives her crazy, she whimpers. I wrap my hand around my cock from the outside of my jeans and squeeze.
“Ward,” she cries out.
She lifts one of her hands and squeezes her tit from over the top of the shirt she’s wearing. I speed up my movements, her thighs beginning to shake as she lifts her hips and pushes her pussy closer to my face.
I groan, feeling her cunt squeeze my fingers, and her taste floods my mouth as she comes. I eat her, lapping up her release until she stops twitching and her pussy stops contracting. Only then do I ease my fingers out of her and sit back before I stand.
I quickly remove my clothes, walking away from her and into the bathroom to grab some oil and a condom. She’s in the same place that I found her, she looks like a pile of mush and my lips twitch at the sight.
Crawling onto the bed, I stack a couple of pillows up on top of one another and then lay down on them.
“C’mon, up here, baby,” I huskily order.
She crawls up my body slowly, straddling my hips as she looks down at me. Her auburn hair is tumbled around her shoulders and her big green eyes are hooded. She looks like a goddamn dream.
Sliding my hands up her sides, I slowly bring the shirt up her body and she obliges me by lifting her arms so I can take it completely off of her body.
Her nipples are hard nubs, I cup her tits in my palms, rubbing my thumbs across them which causes her to let out a shaky breath and rub her damp pussy along my cock. I groan at the feel, and thankfully she takes the initiative to continue to shift her hips, drenching my achy dick in her wetness.
HAYDEN
Throwing my head back, I rub my pussy against his cock, so close to coming again it’s ridiculous. That is until his hands move from my breasts to around my waist and he holds me still, stopping my movements. My eyes pop open and I look down at him.
“Are you sure you still want this?” he asks.
My entire body flushes, but not in embarrassment, this time it’s in need. I do want it because I know once he’s owned that part of me, I am completely his. My past will no longer have ahold of any piece of my body—it will belong solely to him.
He lifts me up on my knees and I expect him to tell me to turn around, but he doesn’t. I watch as he tears a condom wrapper with his teeth, then slides it on before he brings out a bottle of oil and shifts it to behind us.
“Lean forward, babe,” he murmurs.
I place my hands on his chest and do as he says. I feel the oil drip down the crack of my ass, and then his other hand begins to massage the oil against my back entrance.
It feels so good that I push back against his hand and he slips a finger inside of me. He pumps it in and out, causing me to moan.
“More,” I beg.
With a grunt, he fills me with two fingers and I whimper, pushing against him, fucking his fingers with my ass. I move one of my hands from his chest to between my legs and begin to stroke my clit. The overwhelming sensation to be full of him, to have him inside of me takes over.
“Ward, I need you, now,” I beg. His fingers disappear and less than a few seconds later, I feel his cock pressing against my entrance. “Like this?” I ask.
His hand slides up my chest, then wraps around the side of my neck before he cups my cheek. His deep blue eyes are focused on my own before he speaks. “I want to look into your eyes when you take me inside of you, baby. This isn’t about me owning you, this is about you owning me,” he rasps.
I don’t respond to his words, my emotions too overwhelming to speak. Instead, I keep my gaze on his as I slowly sink down onto his slick cock. It burns slightly at first, after two years, I feel like a virgin again, much like my pussy felt when we first started having sex.
Once he’s completely inside of me, I press my lips together, watching as his nostrils flare. “You feel amazing,” he groans.
Ward’s hands move to my hips and he slowly moves me up and down on his cock. I feel so full, so incredibly full of him, and it doesn’t take long before I’m moving to my own rhythm. “Sit up a little more,” Ward instructs.
I do, and one of his hands leaves my waist and moves to my pussy. I whimper when his fingers slide through my slit and two slip inside of me. His thumb presses against my clit and he fucks me with his fingers while I fuck him with my ass.
It’s almost overwhelming, the sensation that washes over me, again and again. I feel like my entire body is one big nerve ending. I want to come, but it feels like it’s going to be too huge.
I start moving faster, taking him harder, slamming down against his hips over and over again. The noises that escape my lips are foreign sounding, but I can’t stop myself.
“Come, baby, come all over me,” he growls through clenched teeth.
I shake my head. “It’s too much,” I admit.
He grins, and his fingers start moving faster, then he pulls out of my pussy and begins to slap my clit. He alternates between rubbing my clit hard, and slapping it, over and over until my orgasm washes over me.
It’s so hard my sobbing fills the room as it takes over my entire body. My hips jerk and Ward wraps his fingers around me as he pumps into my ass from beneath me a few times before he stills inside of me.
“Oh God,” I groan after I’ve caught my breath.
Ward chuckles, pulling me down against his chest while he shifts behind me. I moan as he pulls out of my ass, my eyes close and I try to catch my breath.
I feel our bodies covered in sweat between us, and I try to push up, but Ward’s arms hold me flush against him, his lips touching the top of my head.
A few seconds later he releases me, and I sit up. My eyes move down his chest and I freeze at the sight in front of me.
“You squirted and if you say it was gross or some fucked up shit like that, I’ll be pissed,” Ward growls.
“I’ve never done that before,” I admit.
My eyes travel back up to his and he smirks. “Now that I know you can, it’s going to be a nightly goal,” he winks.
I shake my head. “Of course it is.”
Ward’s arms wrap around me and he pulls me against his chest again. My breasts smash against him and he presses his lips to mine. His tongue slips out and he tastes me, gently prodding until my mouth opens. He fills my mouth with his tongue and within seconds I’m moaning, and my hips are shifting against him of their own accord.
He breaks the kiss, nibbling on my bottom lip before he releases me. “I love you, Hayden. Every single goddamn part of you.”
Water fills my eyes and I nod. “Me too, Ward. I love every piece of you.”
“Thank you for everything you give me,” he smiles.
Lowering my head, I run my nose along his like he always does to me. I don’t respond to his words of thanks. There are no words in the English language to express the gratitude and love I have for Ward Bouchard.
He is everything to me.
Our journey to this moment wasn’t pretty.
Our lives may have been living nightmares for years, however, I would do it all again if I knew for certain this is where I would end up. Wrapped in this man’s arms, filled with his love and affection. Yes, I would do it all over again.
EPILOGUE
TWO MONTHS LATER
HAYDEN
I flush the toilet at the Cash Bar before making my way to the sink and washing my hands, then I cup them under the running water and pour water into my mouth. Swishing it around, I spit it out. Grabbing a paper towel, I clean off my face before looking into the mirror.
“Fuck,” I hiss.
I don’t have to take a test because I already know—I’m pregnant. I shouldn’t be surprised, I knew it was going to happen. Pressing my hand against my stomach, I look down.
Easton is almost two, so it’s not as if I’ll have two infants at home, but still, me and Ward are new. A baby adds stress and pressure to relationships.
“Oh shit,” Traci’s voice echoes. I groan, turning to her. “I knew it. You’ve looked pale as shit lately.”
“Nobody knows yet. I haven’t even confirmed it,” I say, letting my hand fall from my stomach.
Traci smirks. “Oh, you are. No way that man didn’t knock you up,” she winks.
“We’re too new,” I say, repeating my thoughts. “I’m too young for another baby.”
Traci shakes her head. “He loves you, he’s loved you. You’re not new to each other, even if your relationship status is new,” she explains. “You’ve loved one another for a while. Ride the wild ride, sugar pop.”
She turns around and leaves me alone in the bathroom. I stare at the closed door, thinking about her words. She’s not wrong. I already know that Ward wants this baby, and he’s an awesome dad to Easton—always has been.
I can’t help but worry about the future, but there’s really no use in it. The future is something unpredictable. All I can do is trudge forward day-by-day and hope for the best in life.
I leave shortly after my shift is over, I hurry toward my car and slip into the driver’s seat. I’ve been learning to drive for the past two months, and this is my first week on my own. Ward bought me a small SUV and I love it.
It’s big enough for Easton’s car seat and his stroller, yet small enough that it doesn’t intimidate me to maneuver.
Instead of driving toward Gracie’s house, I decide to go to the drug store. I need to be sure. Although the all-day sickness, change in appetite, and sore boobs are pretty telltale signs. Parking in front of the drug store, I hurry inside and head straight toward the pregnancy test aisle.
I’m on a mission and don’t notice anything around me when I bump into someone.
“I’m so sorry,” I say. Brown eyes meet mine, and I blink. “Hey,” I smile. Whitley gives me a shaky smile of her own, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “Are you okay?” I ask.
I haven’t seen her in a while, I’ve heard she and Free have been holed up in his house in town. According to Ward, he hasn’t really even been to the clubhouse much. Whitley nods.
“I’m okay,” she says her voice soft and gentle.
She’s wearing her hair in a messy bun, and she’s got on jeans and a tank top. I’m surprised, seeing as she only wore dresses the days I was at the compound with her. She looks around, almost nervously and I lift my hand placing it on her bicep.
“Talk to me,” I urge.
She lets out a breath, glancing to the side and then back to me. “I need help,” she whimpers.
“Help?”
She nods, letting out a puff of air. “Free says there’s a party this weekend and he wants me to go. I’ve never been down there, and I don’t know what to expect and I don’t know what to wear. I’ve never even worn makeup,” she blurts out, practically crying.
“What night is the party?” I ask.
“Saturday.”
I smirk. “I’m off all day Saturday. How about we go shopping and we can get ready at my place? I’ll help you. I mean I’m not a pro at makeup or anything, but I bet we could get Gracie to help us in that department,” I wink.
Relief floods Whitley’s face and she nods enthusiastically. “Thank you so much, so so much. I don’t want to disappoint him.”
Chased with Strength: Notorious Devils (Cash Bar Book 2) Page 24